why is he not responding?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by candy10 on Thursday, November 22, 2012 and has 11 replies.
feel free to read earlier threads about this situation to get more perspective

This guy friend of mine ...who i assumed has liked me for a long time now.. did ask me out quite a few times in the last year or so... we've met up in a group before..but it wasn't long before he asked to see just me and chill out in only my company..anyway..i shouldn't even admit to this..but i didn't react perhaps how he would want... i didn't exactly say no but i wasn't particularly enthusiastic either....that was mostly because it was a really busy time in my life i didn't have time to think about going out with him..
he did make it clear he wanted a relationship...
so anyway..he did eventually stop asking to see me..fair enough i guess..i'd say he stopped asking now about a few months ago...
now... a few months later...a lot of my close friends just said to me that i should just hang out with him as a mate..or see what happens..and that nothing serious has to happen now..i guess they thought he must have liked me a lot because he's still around after all this time and has actually had different girls/women after him but he kept on continuously telling me hes not interested in any of them..they're not his type ..etc etc..
therefore what i did a day ago now is... message him saying.."hi whats up?.. i was just thinking recently..that we could chill out sometime and do something.."..but he hasn't replied or called or anything..and usually he doesn't take this long to respond to something i've said..
so i don't know why he's not... has he lost interest now all of a sudden..(after a couple of years)..
is he just confused and shocked (because this is not like my usual aloof and distant self)..this is the most forward i've ever been... or what...
my guess would have been that he would have been happy that i've finally given him something positive back..but instead...i get nothing..
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not that it needs to be said but he is a capricorn
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i can't seem to understand why he is ignoring me now...
i spoke to him five weeks back now..i know that seems a long time...but for me and him this is normal..and we always end up talking again at some point..and it will be as if nothing has changed...he still acts and speaks to me like he cares about me and is interested...he even asked me to go on holiday with him...not just for a week but for three months :O..
surely if you wanted to go away with someone for three months..surely that person would have to be that little bit special!!!
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You never know the resentment people build for having to try so hard. You also never know what people are aware of along the pursuit. In your other thread you admit to playing hard to get...the key word, playing. Youve liked this guy a long time ago yet your just now showing an opening.
My Cap friend told me the longest he'll pursue someone is a moth, IF that. After a while you may still get contacted, but the "real" interest has most likely faded and you get someone that started talking out of his behind long ago.This doesnt just apply to Caps either.
Anyway, he may contact you but its possible youve missed that boat. You play a lot of games gurly.
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Posted by lnana04
You never know the resentment people build for having to try so hard. You also never know what people are aware of along the pursuit. In your other thread you admit to playing hard to get...the key word, playing. Youve liked this guy a long time ago yet your just now showing an opening.
My Cap friend told me the longest he'll pursue someone is a moth, IF that. After a while you may still get contacted, but the "real" interest has most likely faded and you get someone that started talking out of his behind long ago.This doesnt just apply to Caps either.
Anyway, he may contact you but its possible youve missed that boat. You play a lot of games gurly.


sorry..lol..i didn't mean i play hard to get..i just appear that way..but i'm actually hard to get..lol..because i'm so cautious and fussy and slow to decide on things and people...so i just end up acting like that but thats just the way i have always been
this guy pursued me..in terms of a relationship for. i'd say a whole year and a bit...that he asked me to go out and do things with him..or spend time hanging out ...
i just find it hard to comprehend that he's moved on... because as i explained it was only a month ago we were having yet another deep conversation..and he was still in to me as he has ever been
he hasnt mentioned any one else that he's been interested in or wants to date..recently its just been me..well actually for as long as i can remember..


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from what ive seen, your feelings for him now are the same feelings youve had months/a year ago, so youve been slow to decide how to to act/react not feel imho.
as ive said, he probably stopped viewing the pursuit as something serious months ago."maybe" there are Cap males out there that will wait a year for one woman...too bad I dont know of any. him telling you he'd want to spend three months with you, and then him not responding to your invite shows his "real" level of interest imho. I think he's gotten comfortable with throwing things out there and pretending he want something real after a year. now that there's a possibility of something real, he's not stepping up. Its out of the comfort zone created, and a Cap will definitely get comfortable.
he may just respond...idk, and if he does stop disguising and hiding what you feel.
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Once a cap moves on, he moves on.
Or
He's just giving you a taste of your own medicine. (which means he's not taking you seriously).
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Posted by lnana04
from what ive seen, your feelings for him now are the same feelings youve had months/a year ago, so youve been slow to decide how to to act/react not feel imho.
as ive said, he probably stopped viewing the pursuit as something serious months ago."maybe" there are Cap males out there that will wait a year for one woman...too bad I dont know of any. him telling you he'd want to spend three months with you, and then him not responding to your invite shows his "real" level of interest imho. I think he's gotten comfortable with throwing things out there and pretending he want something real after a year. now that there's a possibility of something real, he's not stepping up. Its out of the comfort zone created, and a Cap will definitely get comfortable.
he may just respond...idk, and if he does stop disguising and hiding what you feel.


i don't know but some of the things he's come out with i've told some of my friends and they think he's possibly in love with me or something, i know it might sound ridiculous but you would understand if you heard what he has said to me, and im not even talking about casual flirtation or the kind of thing any random guy of the street could say to anye girl they meet, i mean some serious deep stuff..i can't really repeat the specifics on here because it is a bit too revealing and personal
but because i know what he has felt for me..i cannot see this as him not taking me seriously because from what i have gathered he always has.


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Posted by truecap
Once a cap moves on, he moves on.
Or
He's just giving you a taste of your own medicine. (which means he's not taking you seriously).


thats not actually true, about the caps moving on part
we had a massive fallout for six months..read my earliest threads if u want to, i'm sure you don't though lol
and it was over something quite serious and actually people on here kept telling me he wont speak to u again and thats it and
you wont hear from him again.
but then six months later we started talking again and its as if nothing had changed..and thats when he realised he wanted a relationship with me and he started to bring up the idea of me and him meeting up, i dont know if what made him realise that it was me he wanted was the fact that he thought he was never going to speak to me again, and maybe he missed me a lot.thats what i figured anyway

right now i think he is giving me a taste of my own medicine
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They are selfish.He'll respond when HE feels like it.
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Posted by Kikikako
They are selfish.He'll respond when HE feels like it.


thats not like him though
normally he will message me or at least call me pretty soon after i contact him.. now its been six days,
i was making excuses for him along the way though, like oh maybe hes busy with work and then oh maybe he's busy with friends and then family..but now its gotten to the stage where he could have made time to get back to me
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