Question to Libras: Scorpio here!

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Draumstafir on Wednesday, June 19, 2013 and has 8 replies.
Hail, Libras! Scorpio here...
So I've found myself a Libra that I am deeply attracted to emotionally. It doesn't hurt that I find him attractive physically too, but being such an emotional Scorpio, I'd take him even without that. He is attracted to me physically and we connect emotionally, which he says he's never done with a girl before. So he loves me and I love him. I find him easy to understand. We're both overly analytical with a bit of an OCD problem. I love his humor! And he is so forgiving, too. I do hope that my passionate fire does not eventually scare him away, because I do seek balance, at least at home, and with him I just may find it. The journey will be long and arduous, but worth every second.
If you've researched Scorpios enough, you'll notice we're represented by many stages. These are stages of maturity and the less evolved Scorpios are not compatible with Libras for long-term. You could consider me a Wolf Scorpio looking to ascend to Eagle. I feel this balance-seeking Libra could help me reach this stage. He is a healing balm to my psyche.
The problem isn't compatibility. There is more to a person than their sun sign, and we are VERY compatible, and I can definitely see this lasting for the long haul. He is so forgiving of my shortcomings. Everything in him that he finds unbearable, I find adorable. He has an occasional temper but I can quickly analyze that it's not personal, and so I don't take it to heart, and yet he apologizes profusely which I DO take to heart.
I also don't mind that he will take years and years to see 'us' from every possible angle before deciding to commit to marriage. I do understand the value in that. He SAYS he doesn't mind that I want to wait until marriage before going all the way, physically. I have never done this with a partner before. I am still a virgin. When I was 18 it was an easy enough task to assign myself to. Be a good Christian girl and make the relatives happy. After college and before meeting this Libra, it was because I couldn't feel a deep enough connection with any of the men I met to even WANT to. I am a Scorpio and I do need more than a physical attraction. I need an emotional and a spiritual one too. I have the emotional with this Libra.
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But I fear the spiritual. Right now, whenever I feel possessive of him, I can tell myself we're only dating, we're not exactly a union, so if he finds someone 'better' and leaves me, I can take it. I would cry and hide in a corner, lick my wounds... but I would live. If we become one, if we connect spiritually, but I do not have the return feeling of commitment, the 100% ... I would become fearful, and possessive. The aching feeling of 'maybe' lurking over my shoulder, constantly haunting me, would make me jealous and needy and that is a surefire way to drive ANY man away, not just a Libra. So I don't want that. I must wait until marriage to give myself over fully to this man. The formality of it all. The coming together of friends and loved ones to bear witness to our union. The stronger willingness to come back and try again after a heated argument. He and I have never really argued about anything. We're so straight forward and open about everything, and he seeks harmony anyway, so he's calming for me. I have never spun out of control. But it's only been a few months. I know that if someone or a group of someones manage to push all my buttons just right, I can be a real spitfire! He might only be the last button-pusher and it might not even be his fault, but if I ever let my emotions overtake my rationale, for that split-second, it wouldn't matter who caused what. If we're only dating, would he want to come back? Would I be worth the effort? Secretly, after every argument with every human being I've ever argued with, all I wish for is that once I calm down, he or she can come back and hug me, and tell me everything is alright. I'm stubborn and I'm stupid and selfish and immature. I'm never able to bring myself to be this person who comes back. But for those who come back and are willing to try again with me, I am a softie, and I'm theirs all over again.
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So the problem isn't that he'll take a long time to commit. I'm willing to wait. And the problem isn't that I won't go all the way, physically. He SAYS he's willing to wait. Ultimately, he wants to make me happy and for him, sex is a way he knows how to make a woman very happy. He doesn't understand my reasons to wait. He can't understand my fears. He doesn't think as deeply as I do about this... he thinks about the here and now; the short-term. I cannot think about anything without thinking about the long-term. I'm a bit of an odd Scorpio in that I do actually see many sides to things. But I see them ALL AT ONCE. I see past, present, and future in all things, and I analyze the how's and the why's and I check in every new thing if it can improve me or if I can improve it. Yes, I over-analyze. And FAST!! I can see how becoming one with him would be good for the now but harmful for the later. I want to explain this to him in a way he can understand. He keeps asking. I think it's because he doesn't really understand. I can't talk too deep about it because he keeps bringing the conversation back to the 'here and now' which I cannot remain in.
How best to explain? Libras?
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I'm a Libra and I suppose part of your question could be answered based off of him being a Libra. Libra's tend to be extremely forgiving (to a fault) when they are interested in someone. I'm almost 100% sure that anytime you did flash that Scorpio temper (which I've seen and know too well) he'd probably think one of two things: what did I do or it wasn't aimed at me. I'll give Scorpio's that, you're quick to reset when you hit that point. Just know that a Libra will keep that inside and if it happens too often you'll eventually see our tempers. When that happens, you will know about it and so will everyone who comes in contact with that upset Libra.
In regards to the no sex before marriage thing (I applaud you for wanting that) honestly I'd say it's more of the type of guy and not so much the Libra trait. I mean technically you're a Scorpio and they tend to be very sexually charged. I'd say that if he said he's willing to wait, then he'll wait. We're compromisers and deeply want that emotional connection to get our idea of true love. I tend to lean towards that not needing to be physical immediately.
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Another reason I want to wait, actually a very big reason; is I have this driving thought, that once I start, I won't be able to stop. So, I better start with someone who will stay with me for a VERY long time, because if I start and then lose him, I could become a very loose person indeed! And that thought frightens me. Sad
I do love your description of "you will know about it and so will everyone who comes in contact with that upset Libra". Well worded. Intellectually humorous!
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Draum I have read your story and you seem to have a very good understanding of your strengths and weakneses. You also appear to have an allready solid repore with your Libra in the connection/communication department. You appear to be very happy with this Libra and i know Scorps put alot of eggs in that one special basket which is your partner. I wish you the best of course but be VERY careful with that stinger of yours . Libras DO NOT like too much of that Winking.Be patient
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Actually he seems afraid of my "genuine emotion", if anything. But that's awesome that you found hers healing, during that time. smile It's nice to hear. One time I had to shoo my dog away from eating something that would make her sick. I acted scary but to no avail; she read right through me and wasn't scared at all. But his eyes went wide and he was very quiet. Another time some lady honked at me because I wasn't driving out of her way fast enough (in a drive-thru line for food). I sat there shocked for a dafuq-dat-for? moment as she veered around me and parked off to the side. I then composed myself and waved at her like a maniac through the window. No vulgar signs, just waving. Like a 10th of what I felt toward her. But he thought I was incredibly rude.
Dude...
My 'stinger' is pretty miniscule compared to what it used to be. I feel a lot more peaceful and adaptable and it's a great feeling. But I'm no Ghandi, you know.
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I find emotions embarrassing
Its a control thing honestly. People who can't "control" their emotions (like yelling at someone in public *not saying you did-but he probably saw it that way*) makes me see them in a different light
For some effed up reason I take great stock in someone who can/will remain composed
I'm not afraid of emotion, but enjoy it in a clean tidy little box.
Until the bedroom door closes....
Then it can get messy
smile
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