I am a cancer man ever so very much in love with a pisces woman, we have been together for three and a half years, and now it is over. She loved me and would do anything for me, she cried when she was away at college, when she was home spent all her time with me, and only happy when she was around me. We have had about three medium sized fights and one big one at the end in the entire relationship. Everything was going good, but looking back now seeing we should have worked on things and talk stuff out more, anyhow she lacked communication and was passive, so I took that as how she is. Everything went south all at once, I was trying to stop smoking and was very irritable, and she just got off birth control; with both of us hormonal, it has been a disaster ever since. It's been two months now and I'm still destroyed, getting better day by day, but I truly thought this was the person I was gonna marry. Now I am the same person, but she is completely different in all aspects, and this makes me feel like I don't know if I knew who she ever was. I understand women are quick to leave if thy are unhappy or not feeling being loved, but she knew I was quitting smoking and I had told her I was gonna be hard to be around( when she has her time of month, I don't run off ). I am her first love and her best friend( all her gf's respond days to weeks later ), I was her everything and did all I could. How does three years of her loving me so much get turned off by two months of us being upset? I wanted to work on things, talk it out, and make her understand. I have two of my good friends are female pisces and they have both been in happy relationships for years; they both ended it cause of "not being happy". They didn't try to work on things as little as they weren't getting enough attention, which can be fixed easily with a Serious talk. I feel pisces move quick to another person to avoid being alone, but yet run from love as if it was not a rarity. I just feel fooled, because I know the look in the eyes of love and the look in the eyes when someone wants to leave you, but for no fight to keep it at all. I love pisces to death, my mom, friends, and ex girlfriend are all pisces, but they run away so easily that I don't think I could ever try out another due to the fact I can't be Prince Charming every second. Love to me is eternal to cancer, I just don't feel pisces feel the same. Please pisces women or anyone who has the similar experiences comment.
Hi Cbo, Truly sorry. Sometimes distance helps strengthen the relationship as then it gives the person a chance to miss you. But having said that when I was in my twenties I was always after that fairy tale kind of love. When my cancer boyfriend and I would have a fight regardless whether it was instigated by me or not :-). I would be so dramatic and use to storm out in anger and would expect my boyfriend to chase after me and not let me leave. What was the fight about if you don't mind me asking and in that two months what sort of contact have you had? Is she still talking to you? Has she moved on and found someone else?
Posted by Cbo She loved me and would do anything for me ... when she was home spent all her time with me, and only happy when she was around me ... I am her first love and her best friend ... I was her everything and did all I could.
You seem to think of yourself as a lot to have. If having you is so awesome in that a person is happy just to be with you ... then why are you single now? You seem to believe a partnership isn't any responsibility of yours, and if it goes south, you hold yourself harmless of any accountibility.
Posted by Cbo Now I am the same person, but she is completely different in all aspects ...
How arrogant of you ^^^^^ ...
In the quote below, you say that in hindsight "we" should have worked things out ...
Posted by Cbo looking back now seeing we should have worked on things and talk stuff out more
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... so, in recognition of a 20/20 hindsight vision you see that "WE" should have been more forthcoming with communication and then in your next thought, you blame her in saying it was all her fault.
As I read through this, I was left with the distinct sensation that you will learn nothing from this experience, considering you haven't shown any self reflection of accountibility .... so I wonder if you even realize that a relationship consists of two people.
Posted by Cbo ..... but for no fight to keep it at all.
Keep "it" all? There doesn't seem to be any real person involved in your fantasy. You describe yourself as being so great in that she just loved you to death, and then can't understand why a person wouldn't fight to keep it - "it" to mean you? You're arrogant and self absorbed .. so much in that you ran your mouth about how much you are, to be loved, and yet, you've said very little about her amazing qualities that should be lovable .... and then you wonder why that (that being your great gift of yourself) isn't enough?
Posted by Cbo They didn't try to work on things as little as they weren't getting enough attention, which can be fixed easily with a Serious talk. I feel pisces move quick to another person to avoid being alone, but yet run from love as if it was not a rarity.
What the fuck is this? So, you think that if a guy isn't giving his woman enough attention, then alls she has to do is have a serious talk and is fixed? That's absurd, and a Piscean would rather clean a dirty toilet then attempt to convince the person who is supposed to be their partner to actually be one. If you don't have it in you to WANT to make the FishGirl feel special ... then she'll flip her back fins at you and jump stream to look for an experience in where she is as much everything to you, as you are to her. A Pisces doesn't run to another because they can't handle being alone ... they run to another because they are experiencers of life, and want all that there is. You're finished, that time is done .... now, the Fish is off to another and it has nothing to do with having to run away from someone. You know nothing about Pisces, and why they feel what they do .... in considering that you've been with her for over three years and have no clue what moves her, and "why" she feels is likely the main contributer to her jumping stream on you. None of us want to be with another who doesn't recognize our worth ... and that goes for any sign. The only worth you seem to have described is how she benefits YOU. Fuck that ... I'd jump stream on you too.
Signed Up: Dec 21, 2009 Comments: 0 · Posts: 371 · Topics: 4
In my experience it seems as though pisces women end up with the guys that dont treat them like gold. My father a sadge was unfaithful to her rarely treated her like a queen and she still to this day will be the only one she has given her heart to. My mother in all other aspects is very strong women when it comes to him im clueless as to why although i respect him they just were not a good match. So recover and move on to the one who will give their heart to you and the one who will be loyal to you. You dont have to make anyone happy that is their responsibility.
Poisson and angel-p, I'm not who made you so angry. I loved her and about 90% of the relationship was good, we barly ever faught, it was to the point she would cry and I would ask whats wrong? She would reply i don't wanna leave you. Everyone has ups and downs, and I was down and stressed out, I wouldn't think this person who claimed to love me would leave so easily, over two months that wasn't even fighting, it was just annoyed with one another, mostly because I was on edge. Hence why I said I feel like pisces run at the first sign of Trouble( which doesn't mean they do, just how I feel ). Angel and poisson aren't making me think differently. I have tried time and time again to communicate though the years, even after it was over, and still she wouldn't Exspress herself. I know when she is upset and I would always ask her whats wrong, then hours later she exsplodes and finally tells me; I would exsplain myself and comfort her the best I could and it worked every time. It is a two way street and I done the best I could, no one is perfect and I can except her even when she was at her worst, the problem she couldn't handle me at my worst. I aceept that, what I can't accept is going from the best person to her, to the worst; getting treated like I was this person the whole time. I have done alot of research on her and myself, and women who come off birth control tend to become depressed and unhappy, quitting smoking makes people very irritable, her friend's boyfriend left her and found out when people in your social circle break up there is a good chance that it causes a break ups to people close to them, and February to march is the highest points of the year to break up with in your relationship( if you notice on tv, there are alot of dating site commercials ). It is defiantly true because her friend's relationship of four years ended, then my three and a half year, and then two weeks later my sister and her boyfriend of five years broke up. There is alot of strange coincidences and It might not have been ment to be, but I take offense from stranger saying " but up with the bullshit, and that I'm arrogant" when they have no idea of how good I am. Leaving someone is a big life change, and I feel even if it was ment to end, this wasn't because of who I am, but a series of unfortunate events. All people won't be perfect all the time, just I feel I'm always the one to want to work through it, in all my relationships.
I love the love a pisces woman gives, don't think I ever felt better, but with the mind confusing love that is unparalleled, to swimming away at the first sign of trouble is never going to make me feel secure. Years of love beats months of pain every time.
@poisson yes I'm defending cancer in that post; if you actually read it and get to know someone before you waste a long time getting to know someone for who they really are, or you can go off what they tell you. Reactions and body language will tell you more about a person than any of words they speak. For exsample a mother knows how her children feel though emotions.
I know where I went wrong, and I know where she went wrong, but I can't do it by myself. Pisces rarly give second chances, and as a cancer my trust will never be the same for her. Never wanted this, but moving on is the only option.
Posted by Pisces1803 Hi Cbo, Truly sorry. Sometimes distance helps strengthen the relationship as then it gives the person a chance to miss you. But having said that when I was in my twenties I was always after that fairy tale kind of love. When my cancer boyfriend and I would have a fight regardless whether it was instigated by me or not :-). I would be so dramatic and use to storm out in anger and would expect my boyfriend to chase after me and not let me leave. What was the fight about if you don't mind me asking and in that two months what sort of contact have you had? Is she still talking to you? Has she moved on and found someone else?
OMG this sounds so much like me!! I am a Pisces also and I would do the exact same thing, Storm out and expect the chase.
I hate to say it but we really do have a problem with running. I am like that but I am learning a huge lesson right about now! I'm so in love with my libra guy and have threaten to leave one to many times and now im battling to get him BACK! Maybe you should just give her some time. If you dont chase her she will definitely come back. She will miss you and Pisces woman don't usually stray long or far from our first love.
Signed Up: May 17, 2011 Comments: 12 · Posts: 710 · Topics: 39
As others have said. . She didn't just up and leave. I will bet $ $ she did communicate with you but you were too ipset and going through your nicotine withdrawls tk notice or listen. Most likely when she wanted or tried to talk you were in a snapping or pissy mood. We won't keeo after to talk. You may get 2 tries maybe 3 max if we REALLY like/love you. If all three times you snapped at us we shut down. We have been hurt too much. We let go and leave. It's only out of the blue to you because you weren't paying attention tonher. Your needs were met so everything seemed fine to you. It wasn't for her. That's why she left. As P-angel and poission ssid..we will go where we are valued and appreciated. Also..too. .Please don't use the best friend card/title. Best Friends are attentive, caring, supportive and listen. They don't snap when you we are expressing our feelings or dismiss them for folly. That is a title that is earned. From the looks of it.. you didn't earn that title.
Posted by Cbo I don't need heart ache to learn, I can learn from communication; that's what a long lasting relationship works on.
Something tells me very little communication happened. That, + a little piscean silence on feelings, shaken. It will make for a lonely person and tear flavored martini.
Signed Up: May 17, 2011 Comments: 12 · Posts: 710 · Topics: 39
My only brother is a cancer. . We just now.. after his 25 years of life...are getting to a point where we can have a conversation. .like humans. Why? He ALWAYS has gotten into the argument and he ALWAYS had to be sure that he was heard. If I had a difference of opinion he wouldn't get loud, talk over me, argue back and not hear a damn word I said. If you asked him to recapthe cconversation. .first thing he would say is that I was wrong bc I was stubborn and didn't listen. .. listen to what? I didn't say anything. He did all the talking. This is especially true if he was in a mood for whatever reason. Did she find someone else? Maybe. . But most likely not..yet. When we find someone else we withdrawal and kind of grow "cold". The displays of affection definitely reduces and we are less attentive. We follow our hearts in that way. As far as her saying "I don't want to leave you".. Wow I have said that. In fact I said it just last year. That id a verbal argument with our hesds and hearts. That was also your cue to know she's done. That was your lifeline. ...and you missed it. A simple response of then don't would NOT have sufficed in that situation. When she said thst.. her hesd said she was done..it's time to move on and her heart said.. but I still love him. She knew that what you two had was gone in her mind. ..but her emotions gave you one more shot to make it right. Once that last situation played out and she didn't feel secure. . It was the nail in the coffin. She was basically asking you for a reason to stay. Yiu didn't give her one. Your relationship may be salvageable. .. but..BUT. ...it is going to take a lot of admission , apologizing, ownership and listening on your part to get her back. Admit you were wrong.. apologize and make her feel secure in your feelings for her and your belief in your relationship and you may have a shot. Most importantly ..BE CONSISTANT!!!! Grrr. Nothing pisses me off more then saying earning my trust back and making me give you another shot for you to then go right back to the same sh*t that I left you for. That's why I'm leaving now!!!! Good luck and let us know how it went. And don't wait too long to reach out to her. If it's been more than 7days.. let it go.
Posted by shortii It's only out of the blue to you because you weren't paying attention tonher. Your needs were met so everything seemed fine to you. It wasn't for her. That's why she left.
Signed Up: Aug 16, 2011 Comments: 3 · Posts: 7849 · Topics: 52
they can put up with a whole lot...till they had enough and then they will swim far away as if you never existed. And will ice people out for an enternity.
Posted by bkbella86 they can put up with a whole lot...till they had enough and then they will swim far away as if you never existed. And will ice people out for an enternity.
Yes
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Mostly bc you chose not to understand us so you become irrelevant.
Signed Up: Feb 04, 2013 Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Posted by Poisson Are you the same person in this thread who likes to play little emotional games and test people? Did you pull that shit on this girl?
It's so nice to see people jump on the bullshitters when I'm living in the real world on weekends. Thank you poisson, I'll not waste any more time this thread. Pangel will send it home I'm sure lol
I guess this one hit pretty close to home as I figure out how to safely and painlessly leave my scorp of 13+ years.
I'm so sorry, that's a long time to invest in someone. ((((Huggsss))) Argh, I can feel you pumping yourself up. I hope it's safe and as painless as possible.
Signed Up: May 17, 2011 Comments: 12 · Posts: 710 · Topics: 39
So true. ..it's like we are wrong. When we have begged and pleaded to be heard and understood. In our case..scorp n I have been married 11 years. About 3 years ago i just relinquished myself to a passionless marriage. all about him and his pleasures. .screw what I needed. I will be perfectly honest.. I married to give my oldest daughter a family. I foolishly thought the man I married would be more romantic and less hard hearted over time. . So I catered to him. . Didn't happen. Just when I cried my last cry and let go. . A person that I always could be myself with and bonded with and accepted me for me.. came back into my life. The fact that I took notice. .alarmed me. Scorp didn't csre and didn't want to hear my side. His stance? I thought we were stronger than that. . Umm. No you wers bc you got everything you need. Im starving here. We had a just went through the motions over the next year. .I finally decided to find a lawyer to start thw diverse proceedings and keep things clean for our now 4 girls. That shook him. Vowed to change and be more receptive.. 2 years later after giving him my one ...last...shot.. he's at it again. Instead of meeting me halfway he's now completely emotionally dependant on me and physically as well as I keep up the house, bills, work and kids. He just...exists on his own accord and world. Sooo.. im ready to swim out on my own. . With my 4 girls and live.. on my own in my own accord. I feel like if molted out of my old skin into a new one. It feels great. Do I worry about the hearts I will break and hurt? Yes. Absolutely. But.. I'd rather be honest and take it than lie and be miserable. Truth and honesty is much much easier to live with and be. Sorry for the typos. . On my cell again.
Posted by shortii Eusive... Oh dear... I won't go into details of my own 10+ years experience with the Leo (scorp mooner...erm yeahh) since I've regurgitated the same story one to many times, but suffice to say that I have a pretty decent idea what you might be going through. Wishing you all the best hun Thank you. You are so sweet. :-) I think my age is finally allowing me to rationalize and verbalize my feelings vs being out of control. It's offering me patience. When I start to feel like I have to decide something. I don't have to decide that second. .. I can take time to decide snd stick with it. I've been leaving this man for 2.5 years. . Just finally found out. .through self discovery. . What was missing. . Emotional intimacy. Not dependency. That and judgment.. we are way too different. Values are the same..but we were a one night stand that stayed around for 13 years. I hoped we would both grow. . But that's not happening. Im really just sharing what I have learned too.
Pisces women's love is motto should be easy come easy go, half the post are women purely on the woman's side. Everyone is selfish, the difference is my selfishness is wanting someone, so be it. I'm sorry but you claim to be these nice people, but I see you as cold and only wanting more. IMO that will only make you bitter.
Or you can keep throwing people away like trash and end up eventually settling down later in life when you have fewer options, looking back at what you had. I always appreciate what I have/had, even if I get mad or sad. The " missing signs" isn't good enough, you fight for what you want, you talk, and at least a try. Not a mind reader, how am I know how to tell a fight from the relationship ending, when went from super good to shit. Everyone fights with their parents, friends, and girl friend, one big fight over non sense( insults ), and I'm worst person. Been on edge for two months, one month she was at school, men have to deal with women two weeks of the month, angry and emotional, at least I did, and even when any of the girls I was with went off on me, it doesn't make me want to leave, but try to understand and calm them down. With all this I really look at all opinions and take a step back to look at ever possible view I don't see, and I get women angrily telling me I have missed signs, and yet it be true, take a step back when ever you had you heart broken and went to your guy friends, do they angrily put all blame on you? Food for thought.
Signed Up: Mar 19, 2012 Comments: 273 · Posts: 5457 · Topics: 33
How about this: if you don't want other people's advice, don't ask for it. You can leave the pisces board if you don't like our advice. It's very simple.
Came here for understanding, not ridicule. If someone heart was broken and came to me I would want them to feel at ease, help them understand, and share my point of view.
Signed Up: Dec 20, 2011 Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by Cbo Came here for understanding, not ridicule. If someone heart was broken and came to me I would want them to feel at ease, help them understand, and share my point of view.
You are not understanding. My heart goes to you for going such a tough break up. Been there myself and it doesn't feel good so I can sympathise but I never projected my thoughts on others. Realise the language you use and much of what you said seem to point that you did everything right when the pisces gals here are telling you that wouldn't be the case. You are just not listening remove that ego. Most are actually quite soft with their words so stop your butthurt because I'm not as nice. What would you do personally? Agree with what you would consider a lie against yourself just to make someone feel better or show them the truth so they can better themselves, heal and recover? No you're not looking for an understanding you're looking for a confirmation on your own suspicions and no one is giving you that because it simply isn't true.
Signed Up: Mar 19, 2012 Comments: 273 · Posts: 5457 · Topics: 33
+1, aquasnoz. I haven't even read the whole thread, but I read enough to realize OP is dismissing everyone's advice because it isn't what he wants to hear. Usually, if the majority is saying the same thing, then it would be smart to listen to them. You're not going to find anyone around these parts who are going to tell you what you want to hear unless that's what they really believe. And, I bet you aren't going to take anyone's opinion here to heart. So, instead of wasting our time, move on from this thread because you're not going to find what you're looking for. It would be nice to give you this 'understanding' because we are indeed not heartless people, but we are going to tell you our honest opinions. The responders here have tried to help. You didn't accept it. I'm sure none of us appreciate you trying to turn this around and say bad things about pisces or the responders, either. : /
You're not going to find anyone around these parts who are going to tell you what you want to hear unless that's what they really believe.
sorry i joined in kinda late, and am not even really caught up on the entire thread yet.. but i just couldn't help but attach a +1 to this statement... well said --Jack
Failed to listen? Passionless marriages, not affectionate enough, self interest, and seeing what she wants out of the relationship; all of this is reasonable responses that are greatly appreciated. Pisces women give alot of love, and it can be taken advantage of, just like everything. I'm only upset about these responses basically shooting me down for what other men have done to them. I gave all the attention, hug/kisses, told her how important she was to me, and made her my number one. So very in love when things are perfect, but things change quick if I mess up for two months. That is unbelievable. I simply couldn't walk away from someone I love so much for them temparaly changing, when there is a scientifical/chemical reason behind their actions. Never hit her, didnt even want to talk to other women, and made her feel loved. Anyone can commit to a person that makes you feel great all the time, but its not gonna be all the time. For the most part I did my best, for the other part, I'm only human. If there were doubts about our relationship before this, we'll she sure did fool me because she made me feel she was very happy.
Signed Up: Mar 19, 2012 Comments: 273 · Posts: 5457 · Topics: 33
Ok dude. But what you have done for her doesn't mean shit if she doesn't want to stay. And just because she chooses to leave doesn't make her a bad person. You weren't the guy for her. Nothing you could have done would have made her stay. And she doesn't owe you an explanation. She can do what she wants. I haven't even read the op or many other posts, but I'm sure someone has had to have said something similar. Move on. She didn't do anything wrong. She's human.
@aquasnoz very understandable, and I didn't see my self-defense in my words. Wasn't trying to make myself look like I have done nothing wrong, but that the love was there. trust me love was there, that's why I have a hard time understanding the quick exit without a fight.
Signed Up: Dec 20, 2011 Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
cbo, I don't need to have any cancer placements to know just how you feel. It does hurt, when one's heart shatters and its pieces continue to shatter at what seems like the biggest betrayal. It won't be easy but the first step is to stop fighting but accept it. We are all relative to our own perception which is why it hurts so much and why we feel like we need to lash out or justify but part of it is also accepting what others tell you, their perceptions. For the a brief moment (that's a bit generous because it was more like a whole year) after my first break up, it was exactly how I felt. I refused to acknowledge the breakdown in communication because I was so consumed so blinded that I was loving but I was only kidding myself. I wish someone would've stepped in sooner to snap me out of it rather than working it out myself. It's my strong belief when a relationship fails both parties are always at fault there's no need to play the blame game because you only end up more bitter about it all. Learn from the experience, heal the wounds and let this be a lesson. Albeit it's easy for me to say this having gone through the journey while you're just starting it but with time as always it'll fade and you'll learn to be better and if not you'll come to accept what transpired.
Signed Up: Aug 28, 2006 Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
Hi Cbo, Feel your pain, dude. I was in your shoes almost 5 years ago. Back then P-Angel was nicer and gave wise counsel. And I had questions, like yours, about my ex-Piscian in this forum. Dude, this what I went through and hope you can learn. #1. You cannot figure out Piscians. I tried but spent long time figure them out and result was zero. So do not waste your time on them. #2. Before you do anything crazy ask yourself, "Is she worth all this?". Once I realized that the answer was "No", I broke off all communication, including the pleading parts. In fact from what I heard later on, this freaked her out. I did not care then nor I do now, for this was her loss. #3. Do not feel that your time with her was a waste of time. There are a lot of good memories she left behind which I remember fondly. #4. I am a better man because of her. There were lots of things I felt that was not normal in our relationship. eg. I noticed was that we never disagreed or argued about anything. This must be the Piscians' >> giving, giving and more giving to their lover thing. I never bothered about this at that time, because I thought this was normal. I am in a relationship now and I am much wiser than before. So yeah, I am a better man after she left. Her loss.
Take care and ask yourself "Is she worth all this?" .
Signed Up: May 17, 2011 Comments: 12 · Posts: 710 · Topics: 39
Posted by Poisson Half the responses might sound curt. Because people come here with the same scenario over and over again. It's not coincidence that Nefer's post was reposted (God knows how old that is, but should be a good indication), because people play the same games and wonder what happened when it goes bad. Shortii didn't have to tell her very personal story, but she did hoping the original poster might get something from it. Perhaps the sharpness of our language is not warranted. It's just a bit frustrating. I'm sure he has friends to comfort him. No, his ex-girlfreind isn't free of blame. Yes, people make mistakes and we will keep making them until the end of time, and I'm sure this is not the last of this kind that will be posted in the Pisces board. He can take away from this whatever he wants. Like I said, this is his life, his relationship. If he feels attacked, I sincerely apologize.
Thanks Possion. I did try to explain using my situation as to show how far things can go when it's not realized . I wasn't trying to upset you. . and I'm sorry if you are. I also apologize if your feelings were hurt. Not our intention. Just as it was explained before. You posed the question why and we responded with options. As also previously stated. . Only she can answer for her. No one was directly placing blame on you. All we were saying is that you can't say it was out of the blue if it was only the case for you. Not her. I do sincerely hope that you heal as best as you can and move on..
I have tried to setup a DXP for the last few days, however, I have been blocked. Today I am finally able to set up an account. Why do I want to be platonic? I do not feel any security with you. You loudly proclaim yourself to be a player....."Once a player, always a player." I am a boring person in relationships. You will stray. Remember the basic: treat a girl (via all your monikers) the way you want a guy to treat your daughter. If you can follow this basic principle, any good girl will fall for you. There is a Mrs. Perfect out there for you, but I am not her. There is a chance I might be moving for a job. It is better to be platonic. You want to know the real reason? I am waiting until wedding night. Can you wait that long? Hmmm. I thought so. Look. You do not love me. You just want to have sex. And that is why I choose Guy A. Do you now understand? I am wearing an engagement ring on my left finger from Guy A. Good bye for good. Look. I don't know why you are still pining over me. I will not have sex until wedding night. Period. No compromise. I made this point very clear in the beginning and you agreed to it. Let me guess, you were hoping that I will change my mind. Nope. If you truly love me, you will wait. Ughh. Stop it and be honest in the next relationship.
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