I met the Cancer at work when he was 19 I was 20(March 2014). He was SO sweet to me in the beginning wanted us to be best friends, suggested buying me a promise ring..we didn't know each other 2 weeks yet! I was really into him because he seemed so nice. As time passed he wasn't sweet anymore saying I was fat and not attractive, but I just act like I'm not phased. after he quit the job(June 2014) he said maybe he'll "see me in another life" so I move on from him. 2 months later(Aug 2014) he is back we hang out and we kissed. A couple weeks I said something that annoyed him he shuts me out. I move on again. In November he hits me up and we make small talk. I just got out of a situation with a guy I really liked, and felt shitty about it. So I see Cancer guy, end up losing my virginity to this guy(biggest mistake). He still pointed out my flaws a lot and in January 2015 I got fed up so I said I don't want to be his friend. He said I'm a bad person, I don't care about his feelings, etc. So I stayed his friend. March 2015 I said he acts like he doesn't care about me, he got mad cut me off. May 2015 I reach out(being dumb) and we start fwb again he was sweet then telling me how nice it is to see me,etc. June 2015 I can't do fwb I was confused about my feelings towards him, but I didn't tell him this. I lied and said I didn't enjoy the sex. So he says Goodbye, he hopes I have a good life, meet a guy that loves me, etc. I've tried contacting him but no answer it's been 4 months. I'm convinced he's gone for good but I'm afraid because there's still a chance he's not.

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saharaa

@mgmtlove

Signed Up: Apr 15, 2012
Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71

Not all Cancers are like this, but it seems like he's very insecure. The one I deal with got upset if I even talked about other guys. If I asked him about other women he would just ignore, but he HAS to know who I'm seeing, the last time I saw them..he even asked to see the texts between me and a guy I was talking toIf you haven't already, do not sleep with this guy. It only adds to the confusion. When I say this is your life with him, I mean that this push and pull will happen for a looong time, possibly forever. But your guy is older so maybe he's more mature than the 21 year old.

Signed Up: Apr 15, 2012
Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71

Also yes common complaint here lol

Signed Up: Oct 17, 2015
Comments: 210 · Posts: 1087 · Topics: 29

@mgmtlove oh how I feel your frustration. This push and pull thing just too much. I'm ok with it on a moderate level but when it becomes him literally disappearing and blocking me off and then talking to me on other platforms and unblocking me as if nothing really happened and then the MOMENT I say something he doesn't like or remotely bugs him he would just disappear again it becomes a more serious issue. Even when I gave him space he would say he can't forgive me or forget any issues we've had in the past. Forgive me? For pointing out to him when he was being out of line? He couldn't handle us having any kind of argument or me being critical in any way. He is older but so immature it's beyond ridiculous. and yes I agree about the beginning. It seems they also start off really interested kind sweet. Almost too sweet. I usually steer clear of men like that but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I think it's vile that your cancer calls you those things by the way. Never listen to him! It simply isn't true and in sure you know that anyways. It's almost as though he's insecure in himself and in breaking you down he builds himself up which is the sign of a toxic person. Honestly you shouldn't have to message him anymore. Maybe one message to tell him what it was you really felt and the reason for why you ended the fwb thing if you feel you regret not saying it initially but I would also tell him that his treatment of you wasn't right and you now realise that and will never let him treat you that way again. Cancers are Master manipulators in my opinion too and if they can get away with putting the blame entirely on the other party they will. They will make you feel as though you are always in the wrong. The same way mine made me feel I was wrong to move on or that any and all arguments were my fault. I DID apologise profusely if I ever did something to hurt him and knew I was wrong. I had no problem doing that. But he never appreciated it. It was as though it was like one strike and you're out. just before I started talking to the other guy he said something to me which propelled me to try and move on. We had a conversation in which he said something very hurtful. Usually I would talk it out or move passed it but this time it was different that I couldn't even speak to him for a few days. When I did eventually (he never apologised) I thought he may apologise or at least acknowledge that it had upset me. He instead told me that during the time we didn't speak he was planning on moving on to another girl getting in to a relationship with her just for sexnand then breaking up with her. Wtf? I just don't understand how he can be so nasty and inconsiderate? Especially as he was so gold to me in the beginning? Who switches like that? And now he's the one who's blocked me off and won't speak to me told me to go and leave him be completely. After cussing me out. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with him.

Signed Up: Oct 17, 2015
Comments: 210 · Posts: 1087 · Topics: 29

Posted by mgmtlove
Not all Cancers are like this, but it seems like he's very insecure. The one I deal with got upset if I even talked about other guys. If I asked him about other women he would just ignore, but he HAS to know who I'm seeing, the last time I saw them..he even asked to see the texts between me and a guy I was talking toIf you haven't already, do not sleep with this guy. It only adds to the confusion. When I say this is your life with him, I mean that this push and pull will happen for a looong time, possibly forever. But your guy is older so maybe he's more mature than the 21 year old.

He never did anything like this with me about asking about other guys but as I said he did call me a hoe etc for talking to this other guy. Any time there was mention of another guy in any way he would start to call me a hoe. But I don't understand why he would do that when he himself made it out and said he didn't want to be with me and locked me off and then that comes spilling out of his mouth. I feel mine really never ever cared though he talked about a future and marriage and kids with me in the beginning but from him to become like this is just so upsetting. I think your one definitely cared but was a very toxic person and as you said insecure. He probably will come crawling back if you ask me.

Signed Up: Apr 15, 2012
Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71

I forgot to comment never tell him about other guys. I only did when he asked even then kept it to a minimum. What I noticed even if you say something totally innocent they'll be hurt and try to say something back to â€hurt you backâ€ even though that wasn't your intentions. And I agree..it's like you only get one strike! Mine cut me off, then came back and wanted me to apologize to him! As if I was wrong! I tried every method with this guy, nothing works. I can say when I first meet him I was mean to him because I did not want to have feelings, but it armed the meaner I was, the nicer he was. I wish I can help more, but I can totally relate.

Signed Up: Oct 17, 2015
Comments: 210 · Posts: 1087 · Topics: 29

@mgmtlove I was the same! I was very stand offish and guarded as Id avoided men for a while and didn't want to develop any feelings. It's such a twisted game of trying to get you to like them and then when you do to become very cold and calculating. The other guy situation was because he was saying he didn't want anything to do with me but still dropped in with messages about how he's bought something new etc being friendly and at that point I was so sick of the back and fourth attitude i started talking to the other guy and told the cancer about it saying someone's actually willing to be straight forward with me and that I'm done (I wasn't but I couldn't keep holding on) and that's when he started with the hoe thing. Still said he didn't care but kept calling me it. So immature and so childish. I don't even know what goes through their heads.