Not too serious but...

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by David13 on Monday, April 1, 2013 and has 207 replies.
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First... the story:
I met a Scorpio chick in the second half of 2011... for me, it was one of those sudden attraction things... so needless to say, it was disappointing to know that she already had a boyfriend, having started only three months before I met her. When I asked, she refered to him as her 'boyfriend for the moment' Two more months passed... and she sent me an sms asking how I was doing. A few messages back and forth this way... and it stopped... she was still with her 'boyfriend for the moment'. I remmember she wrote me a short email in August of 2012 asking how I was. Oh yes... she was still with her 'boyfriend for the moment'. In January of this year... she contacted me... and when I asked about her 'boyfriend for the moment', she said it was finished... it had finished in November.
We met each other a couple of times at the end of January... the first night was just speaking and seaching for where she had parked her car on a very snowy night. The second time... she came to my place, we listened to music, drank a little wine, and when it was time for her to go, I let her go. But before I let her get into her car that night, I laid one on her. She came to my place the weekend that followed and she didn't go home... a very pleasant evening/night/morning/afternoon. I never realized a scorpio could be so... 'amourous'. We didn't talk so much.
After a very short time, she started trying to pry an 'I love you' out of me. I worry... because it is possible that I am just a rebound for her... and it has also only been a very short time. I know she suffered when her 'boyfriend for the moment' of a year and a half left her coldly... leaving by telling her that he didn't know if he ever even loved her. At one point at the end of February, he came to her house with all of her things... staying only for about 60 seconds. Maybe a week later, she finally invited me over to her place... so I thought she was all right... I might have been wrong. The torture here, is he lives near her... and their daughters are friends and go to the same school.
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Tomorrow will mark the end of the second week that I haven't seen her... we had a very nice night that last time... so now I am a bit confused as to why she has made her self so unavailable. She wouldn't commit to meeting me over the weekend... she had no real plans, so she thought it likely that we would get together??_ she didn't want to promise and not follow through... as she did the weekend before. The weekend came and went, and both days she sent me an sms that she couldn't come and that she was sorry, with no real excuse or explanation. I had to fish for those responses in the early evening??_ I thought it rather impolite to make me wait so long for a ???no??. After the second day??s one though, I replied just with 'j'ai pig?' which means simply 'got it'. There have not been any further exchanges since last night.
I am annoyed by her cancellations as of late??_ something is going on with her and I haven??t a clue what that might be??_ and she obviously doesn??t want to say. It would seem that I am the one having to reach out these days??_ but I guess if she wanted to see me??_ she would find the time??_ as she did when it began.
My plan now is drop communications with her??_ I always send her an sms before she goes to sleep??_ this will be the second night of not doing so. She also hears from me at some point during the work day??_ this will also stop. My thoughts are that she is going to have to come to me now. Will she ?
Share with me your divine Scorpio insights??_ she is a double Scorpio (Scorpio Sun, Scorpio rising) with a Cancer moon.
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Hmmm... I just received an email from her... she said that she doesn't like these silences between us... said she had packed a bag to come to my place over the weekend, but could not bring herself to do it because of doubts she has about 'the future' of our relationship... feeling that it would be dishonest of her to come because of those doubts. Wow... can't say that I have heard THAT before. I will answer it tomorrow... EVENING !
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She's playing games, weighing her options & unsure of what she wants to do...she's not done with her ex either, sorry but don't let her continue with the mind games, tell her to reach out to u when her emotional baggage lessens.
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Jeune homme, quittez pendant que vous ?tes ?? venir!
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Good to see you again David
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As someone else already said, it probably took a lot for her to be so honest and open in that email. I wouldn't play games. Reply to her and try to understand why she feels that way -- ask her why she has doubts about the relationship. You can wait on it if you want, but it really doesn't make a difference in the end, except to make her believe that you don't care. If you're annoyed by her recent actions, tell her. She will appreciate your honesty instead of games...because, depending on how much she's into you, she could just as easily let this go. I'm not saying that's the wisest choice but when we're unsure of someone and there's a lot of work involved, we'd rather just let it go (probably true for women in general and not just scorps)...and in her mind, it would be an easy choice if she thinks you don't care.
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I just read, not sure whats going on with her, but I think you should just reply back. IF she is playing a game, you playing as well wont make the situation better. It will probably create a bigger wedge between the two of you.
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@IntriguedScorp
But it is late here you crazy girl ! Winking Besides... beginnings are what determine the course of any relationship... much in the same way that 'first impressions' determine whether one appreciates another or not... which is often difficult to reverse. We could say it is playing a game... but I would rather look at it as establishing limits... the proverbial line in the sand. Her making me wait... is asking for space, no ? I haven't seen her in two weeks... she can wait another day.
Aside of this little detail... I have not played any games with her... I haven't the arsenal to out-match a Scorpio in their god-given craft. I've done nothing to warrant her shutting me out... it is inside herself that she must observe.
@ScorpioChica
I'm not going to tell her THAT ! I'm not suicidal !
@ShakenNotStirred
Pas encore mec... pas encore.
@lnana04
Yeah... it's because I missed you ! Winking
@carbon_scorp
I know what you mean. Something that I left out here, is that her writing me an email tonight... was in response to one that I wrote a week and a half ago. I was clear that I cared... and clear since... all the way up until last night. 'When something is not working, one has change something they are doing'.
@lnana04 again
On verra (we will see)... I'm going to bed !
Bonne nuit a tous et toutes... et merci !!!
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Posted by David13
First... the story:
I met a Scorpio chick....... I never realized a scorpio could be so... 'amourous'. We didn't talk so much.
After a very short time, she started trying to pry an 'I love you' out of me. I worry... because it is possible that I am just a rebound for her... and it has also only been a very short time. I know she suffered when her 'boyfriend for the moment' of a year and a half left her coldly... leaving by telling her that he didn't know if he ever even loved her.



Posted by David13

I am annoyed by her cancellations as of late??_ something is going on with her and I haven??t a clue what that might be??_ and she obviously doesn??t want to say.
My plan now is drop communications with her??_



Posted by David13
.... she said that she doesn't like these silences between us... said she had packed a bag to come to my place over the weekend, but could not bring herself to do it because of doubts she has about 'the future' of our relationship... feeling that it would be dishonest of her to come because of those doubts.
click to expand


Hi David,
She has a Cancer moon, ruling her emotions.
I may be able to shed some light. Hopefully. Winking
I highlighted the sections that stood out for me.
Before I add my thoughts I have a few questions:
What type of relationship do you have with her?
Is it mainly physical?
What do you guys do when together?
What have you guys discussed, as in general conversation?
Have you discussed relationships and the kind you both want?
Do you ask her personal questions, i.e. about her daughter, family, job?
Where do YOU want this relationship to go?
Have you directly asked her why she's stalled communication?

I don't think she's playing games, there is something about your relationship that really bugs her.
Not returning calls, emails, texts, etc. is a sign of doubt or hesitation. Or lack of interest.
She's obviously interested because she actually took the time to let you know how she really felt.
Personally, telling you over an email was impersonal. This could be fear and insecurity at play.
But if the sexual attraction is strong between you two she may not want to let that sway her concerns.
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Posted by ellessque
welcome back, David!

Thank you ! Winking
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@LunarMaiden
Interesting. Yes... the things that you pointed out here DO seem to be rather Cancerian, don't they. So... to answer your questions:
Is it mainly physical?
Yes... I would have to say it is.
What do you guys do when together?
We've gone to a couple of restuarants... gone out dancing... sometimes we just sit and listen to music while talking... always leading to 'other' things.
What have you guys discussed, as in general conversation?
I have noticed she likes to keep it to the small talk... it never goes very deep.
Have you discussed relationships and the kind you both want?
This seems to be what she is doing in the email that she sent... which I am answering now. Incidentally, she sent me an sms this morning to tell me that I have an email... so my stopping asking anything further has prompted her to acknowledge what we have tried to discuss before.
Do you ask her personal questions, i.e. about her daughter, family, job?
Of course ! This is what I do ! However... she seems to be resistant to my probing... somehow she can avoid the questions without my noticing that she never answered them.
Where do YOU want this relationship to go?
Hard to say... I don't know her well enough.... I don't mind taking my time to appreciate the journey of discovery... getting there has its own little pleasures... but stopping only slows the process.
Have you directly asked her why she's stalled communication?
I have in many different ways. Her only answer is that something inside her tells her that there is no 'possible future'. French women have a certain complexity that I have never quite understood. They analyze everything to death... and they very seldom cry. French men will cry before a French woman will... they don't understand them either ! LOL I've learned it best to leave them alone when they pull away 'French women are from Mars' John Gray forgot to write about this exception in his book !
I am not inclined to believe that she is playing games either??_ I must also consider that her last relationship was not so short??_ and the death of it was a sudden one. It will still take her some time to heal??_ probably also some lingering expectations of what an ideal realationship looks like for her.
Thank you for your insights??_ most enlightening !
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Posted by carbon_scorp
As someone else already said, it probably took a lot for her to be so honest and open in that email. I wouldn't play games. Reply to her and try to understand why she feels that way -- ask her why she has doubts about the relationship. You can wait on it if you want, but it really doesn't make a difference in the end, except to make her believe that you don't care. If you're annoyed by her recent actions, tell her. She will appreciate your honesty instead of games...because, depending on how much she's into you, she could just as easily let this go.


1+.
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^^The SECRECY of some Scorps...is what bothers me.
Thing is, I ALWAYS find out, BLOW the cover wide open, leaving them exposed, then exit stage left.
If there is all around honesty, openness &transparency, then there won't be an obstruction of "flow".

I hope David's Scorp lady isn't living a "double life" with David on one end and the ex on the other.
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Posted by TAURUSbelle
^^The SECRECY of some Scorps...is what bothers me.
Thing is, I ALWAYS find out, BLOW the cover wide open, leaving them exposed, then exit stage left.
If there is all around honesty, openness & transparency, then there won't be an obstruction of "flow".

I hope David's Scorp lady isn't living a "double life" with David on one end and the ex on the other.

I am thinking you might be onto something here...
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Okay... so I wrote her the following day... opening the message with 'thank you for writing'. She had made a list of things that she would like in a relationship??_ things that are shared with another??_ I concurred to all of them.
I agreed with her about not liking these silences either. I carefully explained my perspective??_ how the 3-day weekend had passed and we didn??t make an opportunity to do anything??_ let alone anything from her list??_ adding how I was confused.

I told her that I was a little put off by the fact that she waited until 19H30 to let me know she wasn??t coming on Saturday??_ and that I had been invited to a party for that night??_ deciding to go when she backed out??_ adding that it wasn't really where I really wanted to be.

I explained that I had thought about calling her on Sunday??_ but that her shutting me down after my asking if she might be free??_ my impression was that her weekend had suddenly become full??_ it WAS Easter Sunday after all. I felt like I might be interrupting something if I had tried. It seemed quite obvious to me that she didn't want to see me??_ and I didn't know she stayed home alone.
I said that I didn??t even know where I stood with her... or how she felt about me... which is quite different than I felt 2 weeks ago when I thought I knew.

Summing it up to her??_ the reason for us not seeing each other was... that she was feeling guilty about having doubts about our 'impossible' future. I asked if I had understood correctly.
A week and a half before??_ in the email that started this email chain??_ I explained how our tomorrow is determined by our today. I reminded her of this adding that there have been many tomorrows since then... each one making that 'impossible' future come a little closer. If we continue doing (or not doing) everything that we have been doing (or not doing) for the last two weeks... then two weeks from now... there will be no 'impossible' future for either of us to have doubts about.
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She answered before the evening was out??_ thanking me for ALSO writing back??_ adding that she didn??t think I would anymore. She said that she couldn??t answer that night because it was late??_ but she wanted to say something else. She is going on a trip with her daughter this summer??_ which I knew. She said that she would be alone on this trip??_ yes her daughter would be with her??_ but she would be alone. She admitted to wanting to live her life NOW. As it would turn out, I guess she was asking me if I would go on that trip with her??_ she having already assumed that I wouldn??t.
I sent her a ???good night?? sms??_ knowing that she would soon be in bed??_ acknowledging that I had received her message. She replied with the same. Since she seemed to be depressed when she wrote, I replied one more time telling her not to be sad.
I answered her email before I went to sleep??_ telling her that I would be happy to go on her trip with her??_ joking a little bit with her as I wondered if her daughter would mind.
BUT??_ THAT was Tuesday night ! I sent the last sms??_ I sent the last email??_ seems to be a lot of static on THIS TV. I??m waiting for some better reception to come in ! I think that I am going to call her in a little bit??_ try to adjust those rabbit ears on the set a little better??_ I am thinking though??_ that she is not going to answer??_ just a vibe.
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She didn't answer.
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Posted by David13
@LunarMaiden

I am not inclined to believe that she is playing games either??_ I must also consider that her last relationship was not so short??_ and the death of it was a sudden one. It will still take her some time to heal??_ probably also some lingering expectations of what an ideal realationship looks like for her.




My hunch is that she isn't consciously aware of how her actions appear or intentionally trying to play games. Regardless, I always ask people the same question when they're in this situation: Is this situation making you happy? I'd set your own boundary and tolerate only what keeps you content and sane!
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So... circumstances have delayed the outcome... whatever that may be. I asked her if she would like to do something this evening via sms. She answered, but said that she couldn't because she is at the hospital... her father had a heart attack this morning... and he will never leave the hospital alive. I expressed my condolences and added that if she needed anything to let me know... she said 'thank you'. There is really nothing that I can do for the moment aside of offering my compassion and understanding. I am not sure how to best go about this situation... everyone handles the coming death of a loved one in different ways. I supect it will be some time before I see her again.
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David,
When my father died, I wanted the guy I was falling for to come and hold me.
He never came, we had just broken up.
It was sad because my father was asking about him and hoping we could work out our differences.
This is a very difficult time for her, she may both want space and someone to be there for her.
I think you would have to know your woman to best tell you how to deal with the situation.
You may need to go to her and let the chips fall where they may.
This may be the best opportunity for you to become closer.
Being there for her and lending her your shoulder may help her through this difficult time.
What do you think of just going to her?
Best of luck
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Posted by LunarMaiden
David,
When my father died, I wanted the guy I was falling for to come and hold me.
He never came, we had just broken up.
It was sad because my father was asking about him and hoping we could work out our differences.
This is a very difficult time for her, she may both want space and someone to be there for her.
I think you would have to know your woman to best tell you how to deal with the situation.
You may need to go to her and let the chips fall where they may.
This may be the best opportunity for you to become closer.
Being there for her and lending her your shoulder may help her through this difficult time.
What do you think of just going to her?
Best of luck


I know what you are saying... sounds good to me... makes sense. I am not sure how well I know her... I know that she holds a lot of how she feels inside. In thinking about it, she may even have some guilt at the moment... her and her siblings had been debating putting their father into a home... he has had Alzheimer's for about 3 years... she was in favor of moving him. Her mother passed years ago... and her father is reminded of the same stories every Sunday... which is her day to cook for him and get him ready for bed. In the last year... it has become much much worse.
I sent her another sms yesterday... asking if she was all right. Some hours passed by and I sent another asking if she was still in the hospital. Could it be that like you, that she is waiting for her ex to come ? She wrote me back to tell me that she just left the hospital... adding that her father is doing worse than the day before. She excluded the detail of whether or not she was going home. I waited about 30 minutes, and gave her a call... she didn't answer. I left her a VM and told her that I would try again in a little bit (she could have been on the phone, went somewhere else, I simply didn't know). I got her VM the second time too... in which I told her I would just send her an sms, which was rather lengthy as I tried to explain that I would be happy to come to her place if she wanted (it is a bit far... also it was too late to buy flowers or something... too far to go empty handed if she wasn't there), looking for some kind of indication that she was around... this was about 8:30p... she didn't answer. I sent her an sms at 11:30 to wish her a 'good night'.
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... She wrote back at 12:30a... telling me 'good night' and thanks for the messages... and also that she just wants to be alone.
If and when I find out that her father has died... I will send her flowers. I suppose I could send her a card or something tomorrow. We weren't able to work out our issues before this... and I am really feeling like I am just annoying her, so I think that I should just limit the sms' to saying 'good night'. I am puzzled.
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Posted by Ellybean
Scorpio sun and cancer moon, she wants you there. At least to say hey when she is home, hug her, bring her cake. But don't do that unless you want things to be more serious with her. Her mind might switch into be serious mode. Unless she has a Venus in sag or libra, which would change things up.

Hmmmm... and if her Venus IS in Libra ?!!
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The user who posted this message has hidden it.

Angry
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
David this has nothing to do with you only a general question: How can two people feel comfortable enough to share their bodies but not comfortable enough for one to send a card without feeling like they are annoying the other one? I honestly don't understand this way of thinking. :/


You make a good point. All I can really is: Vive la France !
In my case... I am still wondering if we broke up before all of this other stuff happened... maybe she didn't tell me it was finished for her... as one day 3 weeks ago, she stopped being so 'sticky'. I know that I am supposed to be able to read between the lines by now... but it would really help if she sent me the lines to read between... instead of so many spaces, hard-returns, and whited-out sentences... my imagination gets the best of me when there are no words to decode.
I have seen this kind of thing here before... I can only say that it seems to be rather cultural. For example... sleeping with a woman here, does not a couple make. This is not to say they are easy... but they DO seem to be more selfish in the sense that they take something when they have decided they want it. Sex is often just for the thrill for a lot of women here... it does not mean that love, or anything else, is going to follow.
So... to answer your question... cards and other niceties are small expressions of love and caring... and what would seem as common practice in the US or most other anglo-saxxon countries... is not always taken in the same context by those of Latin descent. There is a fine line here that can even be crossed accidentally, when a man suddenly appears to be 'too needy'... it doesn't take much. Sex is one thing... the giving of the heart is another entirely.
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David13,
Seems like she wasn??t getting the attention she wanted from her ex boyfriend which is why she was randomly communicating with you. Scorpions are known to be secretive and we don??t trust easy. Its like we bottle up our emotions and when we begin to trust someone, we open up. From what you have mentioned, she enjoys the time she spends with you. She may just be afraid of being hurt which is why she becomes a little reluctant to come more closer towards you. Just show her a good time, have fun smile
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Posted by Angeleyes17
David13,
Seems like she wasn??t getting the attention she wanted from her ex boyfriend which is why she was randomly communicating with you. Scorpions are known to be secretive and we don??t trust easy. Its like we bottle up our emotions and when we begin to trust someone, we open up. From what you have mentioned, she enjoys the time she spends with you. She may just be afraid of being hurt which is why she becomes a little reluctant to come more closer towards you. Just show her a good time, have fun smile


I would like to see this... but she is being very difficult. Secretive ? Rather understated. I have always prided myself on my ability to get people to open up... never needing the dynamite that I seem to be needing now.
It would seem that she has sunken into a deep depression... she actually made an effort yesterday to explain how she feels via sms... maybe because of her being tired of my asking. She admitted to feeling like a zombie... waking up with tears in the night. I answered lovingly and empathetically of course. I even thanked her for sharing it with me. After some hours... I sent my little 'good night' message... I can only do the same tonight.
Perhaps it was just all a case of bad timing... her ex boyfriend leaving in November... meeting me again two months later... and her father now dying in the hospital. I have not seen her in 3-1/2 weeks... she just won't seem to let me in. So here I sit... wondering what I should do next... wondering what she would welcome... wondering how long I should wait around for her... because it would seem that she has no use for me at the moment... and it could be some time to come before she does.
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David13,
She really has bottled up these emotions and shut everyone out including you. Don??t think its you, its something she??s having to deal with on her own. I get like that when i feel low as well. She may have no contact with you now and wants that space but very deep down she??s crying out for help.. its like a ego/pride thing. We have difficulty asking for help, coz we feel that we can deal with it on our own and asking for help shows weakness. What you can do is still make your presence but at a distance. Random checking up messages. Showing her that you are there for her. She??s probably not reaching out to anyone even her family and friends. But if you show that you are the person that can help her, then she will get out of that depression phase. Its a tuff time for her so just be there for her and trust me, not only will she appreciate it but she will begin to trust and open up to you so much more. She??s just surrounded by negative vibes.. get her out of that.. which im sure you can smile
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@Angeleyes17
Thank you for your faith. I have sent her my little messages of 'good night' every night. This morning I sent her one that said "The sun... is shining... for YOU !" The sun was shining brightly this morning... there hasn't been any sun here for about a week... I know she needs her sunshine. Still... I haven't heard a word from her since Tuesday.
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Last night I sent my usual 'good night' message with a twist to possibly get some kind of response. I said:
"I hope that you are all right... I'm sorry if I said anythng wrong on Tuesday... if I did, it wasn't what I meant to do... I was just trying to help you to feel a little better. I hope you sleep well tonight... Good night."
She DID in fact write today with:
"You said nothing wrong, on the contrary ! Why do you think that ? I'm feeling very bad, sad, and alone... I'm very depressed. I think you should forget about me because you will never be all right with a girl like me. You know my current state of being is not directly linked to my father's state, it is really much deeper than that, it was only the 'straw that broke the camel's back'... I've been crying, sleeping, and taking medication, and just want to sleep so that I do not have to think. I think after all of this, you will only want to escape from me ! Just forget me... it's the best thing."
Is this a 'It's me, not you' thing ? Is this a cry for help ? Should I answer after some reflection, or should I not answer her at all... how does one lift someone from depression... even if it is only a little bit... I am not sure what I should do here.
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Ahhh, I'm sorry David.
In her message she doesn't state how she feels about you, but she does state how she thinks you would, should and may feel about her.
I'm frustrated for you.
David, how do you REALLY feel about this woman?
Is your interest strong enough to dig through her insecurities?
In your opinion does she still have feelings for her ex?
Are you prepared for a project?
When my father died, there was a guy; like you wanting to be apart of my life. He was very supportive and loving. He even showed up for the funeral. Sat right behind me, very strong and supportive. But I was still hung up on the guy I was involved with before my father died. It did not stand a chance.
I think it's past time to ask yourself, what do you want in a woman and when you think of her does she fit the role.
It is not selfish for a man to demand that his needs be met too.
However, this is a delicate matter right now because she is grieving.
I would give her some space, don't push, but give her time to sort out her feelings.
In the meantime, if you want out, she has opened the door.
My advice is to take a peek......
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I made my stand tonight. After I received her last message (about 3:30pm)... I decided that I would go to her house and get my answers face to face. She wrote again at about 7:45pm... asking if I had received her message... I did not answer... I was buying a card. The trip is very long for me (subway and walking), I filled in the card with my own words on the subway. Her car was parked outside when I got to her house. I rang her doorbell, there was no answer. I thought she might be in bed early or something. I rang it again... still no answer. I sent her an sms.
Me: It's me (9:43p)
Her : Why do you say 'it's me' ? (9:45p)
Me : I'm ringing your doorbell... I am at your door. (9:46p)
Me : Sorry... I'm not French ! (9:46p)
Me : Do you want me to leave ? (9:48p)
Me : Should I go ? (9:54p)
Me : Tell me ! (9:56p)
I called her (10:01p)... she didn't answer. I left a VM explaining that I was there and that I was leaving... and that I put card in her mail box. 'bye' I said.
She sent me another sms.
Her : Don't tell me you are in Roncq (her city) ! David I'm not home !!! My car is in front of my house but I'm not there !
Yes... I'm in Roncq. Sorry to bother you. (10:03p)
What can I do ? I can't go home now ! I would have opened he door of course if I was there ! You should have told me you wanted to come ! I'm really sorry ! What can I do ? I was feeling so so bad that my sister didn't want to leave me alone at home and we are in a restaurant in Lille (my city) ! (10:11p)
The card said:
I know that you have been having a very difficult time... for that I'm really sorry. For me love is sharing... love is caring... love is kindness... love is timeless... the good times and the bad. If you don't wish to share these things with me, then I will go as you have asked... but 'I want you to stay'(from a Rihanna song that she likes). I kiss you love... lovingly.

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The part that pisses me off is... that had I asked if I could come, I think she would have said 'no'... she hasn't answered sms'... her phone... and she certainly hasn't gone out of her way to contact me. I assumed that whe was home, which was a mistake on my part. She made it sound like she was bedridden... but that was my misperception.
She wrote me another sms at 12:28a. She wrote:
Are you home ? I'm so sorry you came and I wasn't here. But you know I was so depressed my sister was afraid to leave me alone at home, I didn't want to go out, but they didn't give me a choice, they told me "YOU WILL come with us".
Almost copy and paste ! And now it is 'THEY'. I have not answered... fuck it !
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well this thread went from "nothing serious" to "loving" rather quickly. To be fair I personally thought you might be downplaying you affection a little.
Basically it appears that we have two people who have been burned in the not so distant past trying to get past that. And you know what? That's okay. Everyone has barriers to get past. It's what makes humans interesting.
You do realize you have made a grand romantic gesture with this Scorp don't you? She is going to love that.
I do t think I speak for myself when I say most scorpions are sappy romantics once you get past a layer or 4.

I don't really know what I did... I just know that I am feeling pretty fucking stupid now.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Its obvious. She said "They" because she has been talking about you with her loyal trusteds. Nothing sinister my dear. Winking

I'm not even sure if her sister knows who am !
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Sorry misread that..her sisters were talking to her. I thought they were saying YOU (as in David) would come with them. My bad.

I read it wrong the first time too.
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Posted by David13
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well this thread went from "nothing serious" to "loving" rather quickly. To be fair I personally thought you might be downplaying you affection a little.
Basically it appears that we have two people who have been burned in the not so distant past trying to get past that. And you know what? That's okay. Everyone has barriers to get past. It's what makes humans interesting.
You do realize you have made a grand romantic gesture with this Scorp don't you? She is going to love that.
I do t think I speak for myself when I say most scorpions are sappy romantics once you get past a layer or 4.

I don't really know what I did... I just know that I am feeling pretty fucking stupid now.
click to expand


David, never feel stupid for wanting to be there for someone you care about.
I love a dynamic male who takes charge. Yum! Winking
It's still the early stages of this romance and you guys are still figuring it out.
Maybe my personalty is a bit, "cut the shit" for all this complication.
In my mind if you want to be with someone, you are with them.
But I know, the human mind just won't simply things like that.
I agree with IS, maybe you two were not as forthcoming about your feelings for each other, which could lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Perhaps after this gesture of you going to her home, she will have more insight into how you really feel about her.
Have you told her how much she means to you?
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Hmmm, that should say simplify.
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Posted by David13

"You said nothing wrong, on the contrary ! Why do you think that ? I'm feeling very bad, sad, and alone... I'm very depressed. I think you should forget about me because you will never be all right with a girl like me. You know my current state of being is not directly linked to my father's state, it is really much deeper than that, it was only the 'straw that broke the camel's back'... I've been crying, sleeping, and taking medication, and just want to sleep so that I do not have to think. I think after all of this, you will only want to escape from me ! Just forget me... it's the best thing."


What is your gut telling you about this women? This is all very dramatic.
Posted by David13
She wrote again at about 7:45pm... asking if I had received her message... I did not answer... I was buying a card. The trip is very long for me (subway and walking), I filled in the card with my own words on the subway. Her car was parked outside when I got to her house. I rang her doorbell, there was no answer. I thought she might be in bed early or something. I rang it again... still no answer. I sent her an sms.
She sent me another sms.
Her : Don't tell me you are in Roncq (her city) ! David I'm not home !!! My car is in front of my house but I'm not there !
I was feeling so so bad that my sister didn't want to leave me alone at home and we are in a restaurant in Lille (my city) ! (10:11p)
click to expand


I don't know man...
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well this thread went from "nothing serious" to "loving" rather quickly. To be fair I personally thought you might be downplaying you affection a little.
Basically it appears that we have two people who have been burned in the not so distant past trying to get past that. And you know what? That's okay. Everyone has barriers to get past. It's what makes humans interesting.
You do realize you have made a grand romantic gesture with this Scorp don't you? She is going to love that.
I do t think I speak for myself when I say most scorpions are sappy romantics once you get past a layer or 4.

She didn't say too much about it... but I got more sms' from her yesterday than expected... seems my 'romantic gesture' got her attention just as you said... whether I saw her or not that night seems to have been irrelevant.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
You really are the sweetest person, aren't you?
(I'm not flirting, in case you were wondering. smile )

You're not ? Sad
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Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by David13
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well this thread went from "nothing serious" to "loving" rather quickly. To be fair I personally thought you might be downplaying you affection a little.
Basically it appears that we have two people who have been burned in the not so distant past trying to get past that. And you know what? That's okay. Everyone has barriers to get past. It's what makes humans interesting.
You do realize you have made a grand romantic gesture with this Scorp don't you? She is going to love that.
I do t think I speak for myself when I say most scorpions are sappy romantics once you get past a layer or 4.

I don't really know what I did... I just know that I am feeling pretty fucking stupid now.


David, never feel stupid for wanting to be there for someone you care about.
I love a dynamic male who takes charge. Yum! Winking
It's still the early stages of this romance and you guys are still figuring it out.
Maybe my personalty is a bit, "cut the shit" for all this complication.
In my mind if you want to be with someone, you are with them.
But I know, the human mind just won't simply things like that.
I agree with IS, maybe you two were not as forthcoming about your feelings for each other, which could lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Perhaps after this gesture of you going to her home, she will have more insight into how you really feel about her.
Have you told her how much she means to you?

click to expand

I think she reflected on this a lot the next day. Winking Have I told her how much ? No... I think actions are always louder than words. "Words are meaningless... and forgettable" -Depeche Mode
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by David13

"You said nothing wrong, on the contrary ! Why do you think that ? I'm feeling very bad, sad, and alone... I'm very depressed. I think you should forget about me because you will never be all right with a girl like me. You know my current state of being is not directly linked to my father's state, it is really much deeper than that, it was only the 'straw that broke the camel's back'... I've been crying, sleeping, and taking medication, and just want to sleep so that I do not have to think. I think after all of this, you will only want to escape from me ! Just forget me... it's the best thing."


What is your gut telling you about this women? This is all very dramatic.
Posted by David13
She wrote again at about 7:45pm... asking if I had received her message... I did not answer... I was buying a card. The trip is very long for me (subway and walking), I filled in the card with my own words on the subway. Her car was parked outside when I got to her house. I rang her doorbell, there was no answer. I thought she might be in bed early or something. I rang it again... still no answer. I sent her an sms.
She sent me another sms.
Her : Don't tell me you are in Roncq (her city) ! David I'm not home !!! My car is in front of my house but I'm not there !
I was feeling so so bad that my sister didn't want to leave me alone at home and we are in a restaurant in Lille (my city) ! (10:11p)


I don't know man...

click to expand

I think she has been depressed... just like she said. She may be closed off... but I don't take her to be a liar.
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She was feeling me out via sms yesterday... when finally in the evening she asked:
Her: Would you like me to come and see you ? (I didn't answer right away. not trying to play with her, just still a little put off. "NOW she wants to see me", I thought)
Her: If you have seen my msg, please just answer me. (about 45 minutes after the last)
Me: You can come if you want...
Her: No, it is not a good answer, what do you want ? YOU !
Me: I have wanted to see you for almost four weeks now ! Better ? (yes... I guess that sounds bad)
Her: I don't understand why you said 'better' ? (I guess she could feel some resistance)
Me: Is it a 'better' answer ?
Her: Yes, but just tell me yes or no... because it is not clear. (I was still put off a bit... but the goal was to see her... and she DID make an effort)
Me: YES !
She came over... we really didn't speak for the the first 1/2 hour... I just held her for awhile. We got SOME talking done... I now know more about her father's situation... seems he is actually recovering from the heart attack... but since he has Alzheimer's... it is likly that he will end up in a home now... which is what she has wanted for the last year... endless debating with her siblings on the issue... her 5 brothers and sisters... divided down the middle... 3 vs 3.
I pointed out to her that she keeps a lot inside... that I needed a better can-opener to get things out of her. I was looking for a word, but I could not find a good one. I cannot say that she is 'secretive' or 'reserved'... these words just don't decribe her. I just have to ask the right questions and she will answer... except for the 'what-are-you-thinking' question... when her face shows me that she is somewhere deep inside... I can never get an answer when this happens... I don't think SHE can put THAT answer in to words... a feeling without description... but her eyes say that it was something important.
She brought all her stuff last night... I guess she planned to spend the night... presumptive... but a nice touch. I would have been content just going to sleep... holding her in my arms. She obviously had something different in mind... sleep didn't come as soon as I thought it would. This morning, she was an hour late for work ! Why ? Because I guess she had different plans for how her morning would start as well ! Surprisingly, four hours of sleep was enough ! So... I guess we're on again... just have to wait and see what happens next.
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Posted by David13
She was feeling me out via sms yesterday...
She brought all her stuff last night... I guess she planned to spend the night... presumptive... but a nice touch.


she's so playing you. no matter what you do, all the nice over the top gestures...she'll still keep you on her arms length leash and put out when she feels like it.
she tells you she's no good for you and you should stay away from her... I'd listen
I wondering if this was a girl, asking about a Scorpio male who was pulling this stuff if the OP would get the same answers?
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by David13
Posted by IntriguedScorp
You really are the sweetest person, aren't you?
(I'm not flirting, in case you were wondering. smile )

You're not ? Sad


Hehe. No. I just wanted you to know my observation was sincere and not just flattery because I was flirting or something. That's all. smile
click to expand

Amazing you Scorpios ! You said 'no'... but then your explanation became ambiguous... I can actually read it in two ways now !
Hehe. (A 'joking' laugh ? A 'that was funny' laugh ?) No. (An implication that you didn't really mean to laugh ?) I just wanted you to know my observation was sincere and not just flattery because I was *flirting or something.('Something' being synonymous with 'whatever' ?) That's all. (So... you were NOT flirting !)
Hehe. (An 'evil' laugh ?) No. (To cover your tracks ?) I just wanted you to know my observation was sincere and not just flattery (What 'flattery' are we speaking about here ?) because I was *flirting (There's that word again ! But now it sounds like 'because I was... ') or something (As in there is 'something else' ? . That's all. (So... you WERE flirting !)
*(I'm not flirting, in case you were wondering. smile) (Actually... I didn't wonder at all... "You really are the sweetest person, aren't you" was a very nice to say... and I joked with the "You're not". But NOW my dear IntriguedScorp... I am having my doubts ! Winking)
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by David13
She was feeling me out via sms yesterday...
She brought all her stuff last night... I guess she planned to spend the night... presumptive... but a nice touch.


she's so playing you. no matter what you do, all the nice over the top gestures...she'll still keep you on her arms length leash and put out when she feels like it.
she tells you she's no good for you and you should stay away from her... I'd listen
I wondering if this was a girl, asking about a Scorpio male who was pulling this stuff if the OP would get the same answers?
click to expand

Point noted... but it has only been 2-3 months... there are always things that could be contrued as 'being played' in the beginning of anything... just part of the process I suppose. I am keeping in mind that just because she made a bit of a comeback... doesn't necessarily mean that she is here to stay.
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Soooo... I got something out of her today via sms. She apparently didn't sleep well last night... I asked her why.
She answered: Always the same... my thoughts !
I asked: Do you want to talk about them or would you rather keep them inside ? Should I get my can-opener ready ?
Her: I just still have some things to accept but it will take time.
Me: Yes... it WILL take time... chk-chk-chk (used to make my can-opener noise) What things ? You can tell me... I won't bite !
Her: It won't make you happy to know these things... but if you really want to know one of them: I have to accept there has been another car parked everyday in front of [her ex]'s house for 3 weeks... Before it was a black BMW, now it's another one, life goes on...
Me: I'm sorry... I am sure this is a torture for you ! Yes... it will take some time ! But... there will come a day when you will wake up feeling happy with everything ! Wait for THAT day ! I kiss YOU !
I know that her ex lives rather close to her... not sure if his place can be seen on her normal route home or if it is a little side trip or hers. I can do nothing about this... only time.
So how long does a Scorpio chick watch the lingering smoke as it dissipates into the air... after the flame has been blown out by another ?

Yes shellshocker... I see you shaking your head ! Winking
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So... I'm wide awake now. Before I went to sleep, she had sent me an sms telling me that I probably don't realize how bad she has been feeling these days... that she tries to hide it... just after shutting me down not wanting to answer my questions. I called her once, but she didn't answer... so I replied to her sms telling her that I am trying to understand... and told her not to hide from me. No answer... thought she may have fallen asleep... convenient...no big deal... I went to bed.
My phone woke we up... I got an sms from her at 3:00 in the morning... then another one followed telling me that she didn't mean to send it... that she fell asleep with her phone and somehow pushed the send key... which woke her up.
She wrote:
When I'm feeling bad, I tell you to forget me, that I know it won't last between us and I don't want you to suffer, because I know how it can hurt. But I can't let you go, because I'm attracted to you, you give me the love and affection I need, I love so much making love with you, I don't know, I feel so well at that time, I really really love making love with you, you are different then the men I might normally fall for.
After the sms-sending-while-sleeping message she said:
Forget me, really its's the best thing you can do, I only do stupid things things days. I really don't know anymore, I only warn you I'm not a girl for you. I'm nothing special.
I had to ask: So what you really want to say is that you don't want to see me anymore ? Now I'm awake ! Did you just break up with me in an SMS ?!!
She said: No !
My last response was to tell her that I want to see her tomorrow... giving her only the option of whether it will be her place or mine.
She said: We will see tomorrow... I have to go to the hospital first after work. Try to sleep now and sorry sorry sorry.
I must say... she is delightfully strange !
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