Cap Push & Pull, Friend Zone

Been with a Cap for 2 yrs but no relationship (I think this says it all lol). I was waiting for him to get himself right, he was not over his ex wife or apparently the rebound women after her, he claims to still be in love with both. I'm sure he told me this information to push me away, yet hes the one that brings me back. He knows I have feelings for him and I've never asked or pushed him to be in a relationship. I've tried separation a few times but he always comes back. The last time he told me he was not sure about our arrangement because am a good person. I told him to let me go if there was nothing romantic between us. He did for about a week and then messages me to meet up. Everyone looking in will say its because of the sex. He's told me its better than the women he was in love with, but that things are about more than sex and that he does want to be in a relationship with someone. For being a lovey dovey into my feeling Cancer... I am very dry and guarded with him because of all the bs back and forth. When we hang out he does small nice things but over time I've given them less importance. I feel like I check 4 out of 5 of his boxes but Caps need all 5 boxes checked, more than ever after they've been hurt several times. I don't understand how he was "in love" with his ex who he claims her to be crazy/bipolar (Aquarius). Hes tried to compare me with the 2 past loves of his life and I stopped him. I told him not to compare me with anyone. Sometimes I feel that he cares and yes the sex is amazing but there is something stopping him from getting serious with me. Am a busy person and don't go out and date much. Hes been there as I level up in my career. Cappy to the heart he gets excited everytime I get a raise or bonus. Gives me advice on how to up my life more. Acts or says jealous like things but then plays it off like hes not jealous if I confront him.

I know he trusts me alot and we are kinda in this friendzone bubble. He shares little moments of his life with me when we hangout. We don't text in between our meet ups but if I miss a message or decline him his jealousy switch turns on. 9.5 out 10 times he always asks me if am with someone else. My friend says these are mind games but something deep down tells me that hes holding back something. I too know I am holding back alot.

So I try and get out of the friendzone and how, if yes?

If it's worth it, how do I find out whats missing to check that last box?

Or is this an "I Use" Cappy and am being played?

Nothing YOU can do to get out of the friendzone.

He put you there. He's gonna be the one to take you out. And he has been with you for 2 years so it looks very unlikely.

You should cut him off completely. Try the whole, you don't know how good you had it till its gone.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Nothing YOU can do to get out of the friendzone.

He put you there. He's gonna be the one to take you out. And he has been with you for 2 years so it looks very unlikely.

You should cut him off completely. Try the whole, you don't know how good you had it till its gone.

Your very correct Ladyneptune.

But obviously she's not knowledgeable of what being fw.b and manipulation is all about.

I love girls like her. LMFAO

You ARE being used. You ARE being played. Seems like you like it though. You've been waiting around for a fu-ck-boy to choose you 😒 That's pathetic behavior. Now you're trying to find some trick or manipulative way to "bag" him. Trying to prove to him you're worth keeping. Wow. SMH.

Posted by LibraSupreme

Posted by LadyNeptune

Nothing YOU can do to get out of the friendzone.

He put you there. He's gonna be the one to take you out. And he has been with you for 2 years so it looks very unlikely.

You should cut him off completely. Try the whole, you don't know how good you had it till its gone.

Your very correct Ladyneptune.

But obviously she's not knowledgeable of what being fw.b and manipulation is all about.

I love girls like her. LMFAO

click to expand

so mean! Jeez.

Well he always comes back... but for what? I mean if you're not on the same page... either you need to change your desires or he does.

Since you see him in person, why don't you want to have a "what are we" conversation and then hold him accountable to it.

For example, if he says I dont want a relationship and you decide that then you rather not be friends at all and ask him to no longer contact you but he still does... you can remind him that you don't want the same things so you've moved on.

To answer your question, normally to break a friendzone bubble you'd need to make it sexual but since you guys are already sexual the issue is not being friendzoned but more so that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now regarding finding the 5th box, why not ask? Just be like hey out of curiosity since we've been seeing each other sexually for so long, what is it about me that keeps you from wanting to be with me in a relationship?

if he says it's because he's in love with someone else...that is a legitimate answer 🙂. Because sometimes people can be sexual with one person but their commitment/heart belongs to someone else.

Why are you holding back? I mean how much worse can being vulnerable be than waiting for someone 2 years. You might as well express to your heart's content and then decide what to do. Isn't life to be lived after all?

Posted by stillstillwater

Well he always comes back... but for what? I mean if you're not on the same page... either you need to change your desires or he does.

Since you see him in person, why don't you want to have a "what are we" conversation and then hold him accountable to it.

For example, if he says I dont want a relationship and you decide that then you rather not be friends at all and ask him to no longer contact you but he still does... you can remind him that you don't want the same things so you've moved on.

To answer your question, normally to break a friendzone bubble you'd need to make it sexual but since you guys are already sexual the issue is not being friendzoned but more so that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now regarding finding the 5th box, why not ask? Just be like hey out of curiosity since we've been seeing each other sexually for so long, what is it about me that keeps you from wanting to be with me in a relationship?

if he says it's because he's in love with someone else...that is a legitimate answer 🙂. Because sometimes people can be sexual with one person but their commitment/heart belongs to someone else.

Why are you holding back? I mean how much worse can being vulnerable be than waiting for someone 2 years. You might as well express to your heart's content and then decide what to do. Isn't life to be lived after all?

I like your response the most and i will do that. I will ask. There is alot more to the story but yea ive never actually asked any of thoses questions. I have mostly gemini placements and i feel like i can easily let things slide but recently hes been pushing alot away and then pulling back in. He recently gave me a jealousy trip over not texting him and then pushed me away 2 days later for like a week. Hes driving me nuts.

Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by stillstillwater

Well he always comes back... but for what? I mean if you're not on the same page... either you need to change your desires or he does.

Since you see him in person, why don't you want to have a "what are we" conversation and then hold him accountable to it.

For example, if he says I dont want a relationship and you decide that then you rather not be friends at all and ask him to no longer contact you but he still does... you can remind him that you don't want the same things so you've moved on.

To answer your question, normally to break a friendzone bubble you'd need to make it sexual but since you guys are already sexual the issue is not being friendzoned but more so that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now regarding finding the 5th box, why not ask? Just be like hey out of curiosity since we've been seeing each other sexually for so long, what is it about me that keeps you from wanting to be with me in a relationship?

if he says it's because he's in love with someone else...that is a legitimate answer 🙂. Because sometimes people can be sexual with one person but their commitment/heart belongs to someone else.

Why are you holding back? I mean how much worse can being vulnerable be than waiting for someone 2 years. You might as well express to your heart's content and then decide what to do. Isn't life to be lived after all?

I like your response the most and i will do that. I will ask. There is alot more to the story but yea ive never actually asked any of thoses questions. I have mostly gemini placements and i feel like i can easily let things slide but recently hes been pushing alot away and then pulling back in. He recently gave me a jealousy trip over not texting him and then pushed me away 2 days later for like a week. Hes driving me nuts.

click to expand

Yeah after 2 years or even a minute you deserve answers to your questions. Not encouraging to be psycho lol but obviously you guys have alot going on... if he can keep having sex with you then sure enough he can answer some questions.

May be his answers will surprise you. You can even ask him about how come he gets jealous and give him examples.

Posted by jaymens933

Knowing capricorn they will not fit with cancer, they are just opposites cancer is sweet and Capricorn got a ruthless side

Not true... i have 50% gemini placements so am weirdly balanced for his shit. That ruthless side i love it. Makes me laugh some times. He likes it when he gets all angry at ppl and am like its okay no worries. Am an alpha female and hes major alpha male. I love the dominance he has without even trying. Hes only told me once that i was too quirky but that was bs cuz he is as quirky as i am just undercover lol.

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by stillstillwater

Well he always comes back... but for what? I mean if you're not on the same page... either you need to change your desires or he does.

Since you see him in person, why don't you want to have a "what are we" conversation and then hold him accountable to it.

For example, if he says I dont want a relationship and you decide that then you rather not be friends at all and ask him to no longer contact you but he still does... you can remind him that you don't want the same things so you've moved on.

To answer your question, normally to break a friendzone bubble you'd need to make it sexual but since you guys are already sexual the issue is not being friendzoned but more so that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now regarding finding the 5th box, why not ask? Just be like hey out of curiosity since we've been seeing each other sexually for so long, what is it about me that keeps you from wanting to be with me in a relationship?

if he says it's because he's in love with someone else...that is a legitimate answer 🙂. Because sometimes people can be sexual with one person but their commitment/heart belongs to someone else.

Why are you holding back? I mean how much worse can being vulnerable be than waiting for someone 2 years. You might as well express to your heart's content and then decide what to do. Isn't life to be lived after all?

I like your response the most and i will do that. I will ask. There is alot more to the story but yea ive never actually asked any of thoses questions. I have mostly gemini placements and i feel like i can easily let things slide but recently hes been pushing alot away and then pulling back in. He recently gave me a jealousy trip over not texting him and then pushed me away 2 days later for like a week. Hes driving me nuts.

Yeah after 2 years or even a minute you deserve answers to your questions. Not encouraging to be psycho lol but obviously you guys have alot going on... if he can keep having sex with you then sure enough he can answer some questions.

May be his answers will surprise you. You can even ask him about how come he gets jealous and give him examples.

click to expand

The jealousy thing, i do tell him something about. Am a very curvy good looking girl so he knows i get hit on all the time. So he always ask if am having sex with some one else, then blames the jealousy on making sure i dont give him anything. This upsets me everytime because am not thay type of girl and i make him know it. If i get a text, hes like is that your new boyfriend. He stalks my ig and i posted pics with my gym trainers and he let me have it. But what confuses me the most is one day an old martial arts trainer of mime, he knew him from the industry, was teaching me and he was beyond jealous. I stopped training with that person because he kept hitting on me and months later Cappy tells me he got mad on a comment that person made on IG because it was from that specific trainers. And he tells me this like it was gut wrenching. Its either good acting, manipulation, or hes hiding something.

Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by stillstillwater

Well he always comes back... but for what? I mean if you're not on the same page... either you need to change your desires or he does.

Since you see him in person, why don't you want to have a "what are we" conversation and then hold him accountable to it.

For example, if he says I dont want a relationship and you decide that then you rather not be friends at all and ask him to no longer contact you but he still does... you can remind him that you don't want the same things so you've moved on.

To answer your question, normally to break a friendzone bubble you'd need to make it sexual but since you guys are already sexual the issue is not being friendzoned but more so that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now regarding finding the 5th box, why not ask? Just be like hey out of curiosity since we've been seeing each other sexually for so long, what is it about me that keeps you from wanting to be with me in a relationship?

if he says it's because he's in love with someone else...that is a legitimate answer 🙂. Because sometimes people can be sexual with one person but their commitment/heart belongs to someone else.

Why are you holding back? I mean how much worse can being vulnerable be than waiting for someone 2 years. You might as well express to your heart's content and then decide what to do. Isn't life to be lived after all?

I like your response the most and i will do that. I will ask. There is alot more to the story but yea ive never actually asked any of thoses questions. I have mostly gemini placements and i feel like i can easily let things slide but recently hes been pushing alot away and then pulling back in. He recently gave me a jealousy trip over not texting him and then pushed me away 2 days later for like a week. Hes driving me nuts.

Yeah after 2 years or even a minute you deserve answers to your questions. Not encouraging to be psycho lol but obviously you guys have alot going on... if he can keep having sex with you then sure enough he can answer some questions.

May be his answers will surprise you. You can even ask him about how come he gets jealous and give him examples.

The jealousy thing, i do tell him something about. Am a very curvy good looking girl so he knows i get hit on all the time. So he always ask if am having sex with some one else, then blames the jealousy on making sure i dont give him anything. This upsets me everytime because am not thay type of girl and i make him know it. If i get a text, hes like is that your new boyfriend. He stalks my ig and i posted pics with my gym trainers and he let me have it. But what confuses me the most is one day an old martial arts trainer of mime, he knew him from the industry, was teaching me and he was beyond jealous. I stopped training with that person because he kept hitting on me and months later Cappy tells me he got mad on a comment that person made on IG because it was from that specific trainers. And he tells me this like it was gut wrenching. Its either good acting, manipulation, or hes hiding something.

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Yeah absolutely but once you have the "what are we" convo and set some boundaries he wont have any right ot be jealous because if he says he doesnt want to have a relationship with you then he can fuck off and all teh hot guys in the world can hit on you and it would be none of his business.

Posted by LibraSupreme

Posted by LadyNeptune

Nothing YOU can do to get out of the friendzone.

He put you there. He's gonna be the one to take you out. And he has been with you for 2 years so it looks very unlikely.

You should cut him off completely. Try the whole, you don't know how good you had it till its gone.

Your very correct Ladyneptune.

But obviously she's not knowledgeable of what being fw.b and manipulation is all about.

I love girls like her. LMFAO

click to expand

I actually get the vibe that she was using him at the start in the same way. He was a safe choice.

But now the feels struck and she wants more. This is why fwb never works out long term. Someones gonna always want more outta it.

Girl, after two years, if he hasn't gotten into a relationship with you, he's NEVER going to get into a relationship with you. He's getting what he wants - sex, friendship, a warm body, someone to fill the time with - without having to do anything for it.

Stop letting him use you. You're wasting your time waiting on him.