virtue signalling?

Posted by GODZ

Too long to read but just send him a #solo from Skype and it will done

Posted by smol

Just cheat on him with an exciting Fire sign man like what other virgals do.

Posted by GODZ

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by smol

Just cheat on him with an exciting Fire sign man like what other virgals do.

just FYI his ex cheated on him and she's a pisces woman

i'm really starting to understand her

i've taken her side once when i lost my mind the first time

Plot twist he is the one cheating on you with a local girl, that's why he doesn't want you to come.

Now you have this idea in mind you won't sleep during two days, yw.

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Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

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Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

So why waste energy on this non relationship, which is hurting you?

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Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

Do you feel tired? Do you feel like the same is playing over and over?

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Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

So why waste energy on this non relationship, which is hurting you?

i mean i've felt this way so many times in general

this only the 2nd time he's done this

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Posted by MissKrabs

You Are Crazy!!! So what if he thinks it should be on him, doesn't mean he is stuck in old fashioned roles to the point it will become a problem. Chill!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

So why waste energy on this non relationship, which is hurting you?

i mean i've felt this way so many times in general

this only the 2nd time he's done this

So are you going to wait around for a third time?

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Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MissKrabs

You Are Crazy!!! So what if he thinks it should be on him, doesn't mean he is stuck in old fashioned roles to the point it will become a problem. Chill!

you don't get it

we're going to continue to see less of each other and i've been feeling disengaged with the relationship

it's the lack of quality time, the sense that i'm making an effort and how it's being discarded

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Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by PinsAndNeedles

Hmm, well you've all expressed yourselves.

What next? What would you like to see happen from here on out?

i can't stop crying

why do i have to feel like i'm buying time

god i hate it coz i've felt this way so many times now

So why waste energy on this non relationship, which is hurting you?

i mean i've felt this way so many times in general

this only the 2nd time he's done this

So are you going to wait around for a third time?

what are we supposed to just quit on every flaw?

what i wanna know is how to get my point through his skull

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Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MissKrabs

You Are Crazy!!! So what if he thinks it should be on him, doesn't mean he is stuck in old fashioned roles to the point it will become a problem. Chill!

you don't get it

we're going to continue to see less of each other and i've been feeling disengaged with the relationship

it's the lack of quality time, the sense that i'm making an effort and how it's being discarded

I totally get it

What if you say to him that you're not able to keep making the effort all the time and if he wants to input more into the relationship then that would be good

See what comes back....

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Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MissKrabs

You Are Crazy!!! So what if he thinks it should be on him, doesn't mean he is stuck in old fashioned roles to the point it will become a problem. Chill!

you don't get it

we're going to continue to see less of each other and i've been feeling disengaged with the relationship

it's the lack of quality time, the sense that i'm making an effort and how it's being discarded

I totally get it

What if you say to him that you're not able to keep making the effort all the time and if he wants to input more into the relationship then that would be good

See what comes back....

exactly. it's like finding out how hurt i was over something just forces him to act. that's why trying to appease me feels 'forced' to me right after that. we haven't seen each other in months, i try to fix that and you're.... virtue signalling? you can't spend all your time working and act like i still know you. we've spent more time apart than together, please be realistic. i've asked him directly why i have to feel like i'm paying for his time if he was so 'honorable.'

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Posted by MrsElleCappysnatch

It is old school thinking because he is a capricorn before everything else 😂🤣😂

Remember the headphones I bought my Cap?

Similar situation. He wanted to see the link to make sure I got the right ones and the first thing he said when I shared it was....YOU PAID WHAT??? THAT IS TOO MUCH.

I told him to shush it and just be happy.

It will always be a thing for them so you just have to deal.

I don't have your watery moon so I don't internalize the feels. You have to let it go and let it be what it is. If he doesn't like it....well....tough shit? He can deal or not deal, that is his choice. Don't take on his feels and yours too.

I guess they don't understand that giving freely is selfish on the givers part (is for me because Libra bits and it makes me warm and fuzzy....probably for you because of all that Virgo service junk).

Let me give....but don't take. It is a fine line for me.

Posted by Weeds

You main killer or survivor?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by MissKrabs

You Are Crazy!!! So what if he thinks it should be on him, doesn't mean he is stuck in old fashioned roles to the point it will become a problem. Chill!

you don't get it

we're going to continue to see less of each other and i've been feeling disengaged with the relationship

it's the lack of quality time, the sense that i'm making an effort and how it's being discarded

I totally get it

What if you say to him that you're not able to keep making the effort all the time and if he wants to input more into the relationship then that would be good

See what comes back....

exactly. it's like finding out how hurt i was over something just forces him to act. that's why trying to appease me feels 'forced' to me right after that. we haven't seen each other in months, i try to fix that and you're.... virtue signalling? you can't spend all your time working and act like i still know you. we've spent more time apart than together, please be realistic. i've asked him directly why i have to feel like i'm paying for his time if he was so 'honorable.'

Yes

Why are you sending him money if he works so hard? Does he accept despite the resistance?

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Posted by LittleStar_II

Literally all you had to say was,

“Okay, babe, when that money comes in plan something nice for me. But for now I miss you and have to see you so let’s have some fun.”

I think you are taking out all your stress about the situation and Covid out on each other and of course you will become distant if you are doing that.

Time to recenter. This is not a hill to die on unless you really do not what to be in a relationship with him anymore.

You say you understand why his ex cheated on him. That is pretty cold/cruel. Maybe you just need to move on if your respect has dropped so low?

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Literally all you had to say was,

“Okay, babe, when that money comes in plan something nice for me. But for now I miss you and have to see you so let’s have some fun.”

I think you are taking out all your stress about the situation and Covid out on each other and of course you will become distant if you are doing that.

Time to recenter. This is not a hill to die on unless you really do not what to be in a relationship with him anymore.

You say you understand why his ex cheated on him. That is pretty cold/cruel. Maybe you just need to move on if your respect has dropped so low?

i was super emotional and hurt

was going to throw any word i can at him

and that came out

I understand that but lashing out, from personal experience, only drives a wedge.

You can’t take words back.

Maybe if you get that upset take a while to sit with your feelings until you’ve calmed own and then try to talk once that reaction is over.

I am very reactionary by nature so I totally get this, but it is not helpful if you want to keep this person on your life.

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Posted by LittleStar_II

I mean I could read this whole situation as you virtue signaling to him by making a romantic gesture and then throwing a fit because he didn’t give you the reaction that would get you off.

But it just doesn’t seem like a hill to died on as I said. Unless there is more going on.

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by Metatron

Posted by LittleStar_II

I mean I could read this whole situation as you virtue signaling to him by making a romantic gesture and then throwing a fit because he didn’t give you the reaction that would get you off.

But it just doesn’t seem like a hill to died on as I said. Unless there is more going on.

just a minor philosophical quibble, but I never understood complaints around virtue signaling...its sort of self-defeating, bc if you have a problem with it, you're basically virtue signaling...

I can see people’s point in the social justice version. When you just talk or join to follow a trend on social media but don’t actually put in the work behind that. I’ve been guilty of that at certain times in my life.

But I think relationships should be built on showing your virtues to someone. 😂

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Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Literally all you had to say was,

“Okay, babe, when that money comes in plan something nice for me. But for now I miss you and have to see you so let’s have some fun.”

I think you are taking out all your stress about the situation and Covid out on each other and of course you will become distant if you are doing that.

Time to recenter. This is not a hill to die on unless you really do not what to be in a relationship with him anymore.

You say you understand why his ex cheated on him. That is pretty cold/cruel. Maybe you just need to move on if your respect has dropped so low?

i was super emotional and hurt

was going to throw any word i can at him

and that came out

I understand that but lashing out, from personal experience, only drives a wedge.

You can’t take words back.

Maybe if you get that upset take a while to sit with your feelings until you’ve calmed own and then try to talk once that reaction is over.

I am very reactionary by nature so I totally get this, but it is not helpful if you want to keep this person on your life.

i act so cool only to lose my mind after

sometimes i feel oversensitive like some people won't think much of what he said

but man i died on that hill, that was my waterloo 😭😭

Maybe just think about that. Like I said I usually make mistakes when I act on my emotions in the moment. I’ve made messes for sure.

You can always try to apologize to him.

He just might not accept if you’ve hurt him beyond what he finds it okay.

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Posted by LittleStar_II

I think it’s more of a distinction between are you doing it for the cause or doing it for yourself.

Which I guess could be applied to a romantic relationship but I just don’t see that being the correct term.

All I see here is someone not wanting to be in “debt” to the other which is a whole different issue.

He wants to be the one to take her out and do things which is coming from a place of love and affection, I assume. It may be a little patriarchal/old school but I think she could have side stepped his pride and it wouldn’t have been an issue unless he literally refused to meet. Just making comments about it and expressing feelings isn’t a bad thing. It’s good. But if you are shut down and old fights brought up for expressing your preferences it really won’t make you want to come back to the table.

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by LittleStar_II

Literally all you had to say was,

“Okay, babe, when that money comes in plan something nice for me. But for now I miss you and have to see you so let’s have some fun.”

I think you are taking out all your stress about the situation and Covid out on each other and of course you will become distant if you are doing that.

Time to recenter. This is not a hill to die on unless you really do not what to be in a relationship with him anymore.

You say you understand why his ex cheated on him. That is pretty cold/cruel. Maybe you just need to move on if your respect has dropped so low?

i was super emotional and hurt

was going to throw any word i can at him

and that came out

I understand that but lashing out, from personal experience, only drives a wedge.

You can’t take words back.

Maybe if you get that upset take a while to sit with your feelings until you’ve calmed own and then try to talk once that reaction is over.

I am very reactionary by nature so I totally get this, but it is not helpful if you want to keep this person on your life.

i act so cool only to lose my mind after

sometimes i feel oversensitive like some people won't think much of what he said

but man i died on that hill, that was my waterloo 😭😭

Maybe just think about that. Like I said I usually make mistakes when I act on my emotions in the moment. I’ve made messes for sure.

You can always try to apologize to him.

He just might not accept if you’ve hurt him beyond what he finds it okay.

hurt him? he's the one who hurt me. and he apologized. me taking his ex's side was an old argument we had.

sometimes when i get hurt, i stop thinking.

anything i do after that isn't me as a virgo anymore.

You don’t think that would hurt him? Or you don’t care if he’s hurt if you are hurt?

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Posted by Gobby

What the fuck is this crap?!

You pull away from him because keeping in contact, while being away from him , makes you sad - to such an extent that even he has noticed. Surely, that's selfish? And then, when he makes a point about financing a reunion, you go berserk?

Woman, I'm not going to sugar coat this but your're projecting your own failure, to keep the relationship alive, onto him.

You want to distance yourself from him, for self-preservation, and then treat him as the villain for discussing something practical (and you have to give him some respect for wanting to financially contribute)?

Sorry but it is YOU who needs to grow up. Fucking Virgos...

*smh*

Posted by Gobby

This is the typical Virgo crap I come across every time, which has completely put me off dating one again.

Virgos are shite communicators and expect others to read their minds. And all it does is create problems.

This thread is just another example...

Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

What the fuck is this crap?!

You pull away from him because keeping in contact, while being away from him , makes you sad - to such an extent that even he has noticed. Surely, that's selfish? And then, when he makes a point about financing a reunion, you go berserk?

Woman, I'm not going to sugar coat this but your're projecting your own failure, to keep the relationship alive, onto him.

You want to distance yourself from him, for self-preservation, and then treat him as the villain for discussing something practical (and you have to give him some respect for wanting to financially contribute)?

Sorry but it is YOU who needs to grow up. Fucking Virgos...

*smh*

i'm not trying to kill it

I never said that but, being a Virgo, you're unnecessarily complicating matters...

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Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

What the fuck is this crap?!

You pull away from him because keeping in contact, while being away from him , makes you sad - to such an extent that even he has noticed. Surely, that's selfish? And then, when he makes a point about financing a reunion, you go berserk?

Woman, I'm not going to sugar coat this but your're projecting your own failure, to keep the relationship alive, onto him.

You want to distance yourself from him, for self-preservation, and then treat him as the villain for discussing something practical (and you have to give him some respect for wanting to financially contribute)?

Sorry but it is YOU who needs to grow up. Fucking Virgos...

*smh*

i'm not trying to kill it

I never said that but, being a Virgo, you're unnecessarily complicating matters...

excuse me?

he's the one who can't relax and insists on paying all the time

why can't this be equal?

Once again, this wasn't in the OP. Once again, a Virgo is reminding me of what shite communicators they are...

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Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Gobby

What the fuck is this crap?!

You pull away from him because keeping in contact, while being away from him , makes you sad - to such an extent that even he has noticed. Surely, that's selfish? And then, when he makes a point about financing a reunion, you go berserk?

Woman, I'm not going to sugar coat this but your're projecting your own failure, to keep the relationship alive, onto him.

You want to distance yourself from him, for self-preservation, and then treat him as the villain for discussing something practical (and you have to give him some respect for wanting to financially contribute)?

Sorry but it is YOU who needs to grow up. Fucking Virgos...

*smh*

i'm not trying to kill it

I never said that but, being a Virgo, you're unnecessarily complicating matters...

excuse me?

he's the one who can't relax and insists on paying all the time

why can't this be equal?

Once again, this wasn't in the OP. Once again, a Virgo is reminding me of what shite communicators they are...

it's literally the point of the OP

Please quote the passage in the OP because I can't see it.

Also, this:

"i feel like i'm the only one really making an effort to save our relationship"

What?! By being emotionally distant towards him, for all these months, and then investing in ONE DAY for a 'hook-up'?!

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Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by LadyNeptune

You told him about the guy who scammed you/ was only trying to use you for your money. He's not about that life and is making sure you KNOW that he's in this for you, not what he can get outta you. Thats why he questions you spending your money on a fancy hotel when any hotel will do. He's not showing up to get 5 star room service, he's showing up to see YOU.

Your being offended over nothing really. But I get it. When your unable to see each other your mind starts acting crazy and the insecurities creep in. All of your problems would be non-issues if there wasn't a freaken pandemic going on.

It’s a fancy hotel to set the damn mood.

No one wants to do it in a La Quinta or some shit.

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Posted by tiziani

Posted by virgoOPPP

i swear i make a thread and only that @tiziani understands my parade's end problems

LOL

I might watch it again, I'm not getting much done in this weather.

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Posted by hydorah

tell him you bought his ass, and tonight you're going to make him walk with a leash naked

Posted by virgoOPPP

for a couple months now due to travel restrictions, i'm not able to see this cap sun/pisces moon. there's a steady line of communication but i admit that i spent more time playing DbD than i have doing relationship maintenance activities. so i've been accused of being cold/distant, that i treat him like we're just friends texting each other instead of him being my boyfriend. i mean he's right and i've told him that i've been feeling so disengaged lately and that i just wanna drink. i've been gaming, drinking and just overall trying my best not 'to be here' and forget this situation but he doesn't understand that it's coz i really miss him and having no concrete plans of seeing him is just making me depressed. and keeping contact for too long at a time makes me even sadder about the whole thing. am i making sense? our relationship was built on making plans but lookie where we are. and what else is there to talk about? my online sales? how i feel powerless coz i can't do anything to fix this?

but then enforcement became less tight so i can finally move around a bit. and i got offered this new finance job so now we have like a week left before that takes over my life and we get to see each other again the end of july. but i'm not even asking for a week, just for ONE DAY. so i decided to go all out and book something fancy. haven't see him in months and won't see him again for another so why not, right? i thought i've set everything just right. called him, told him about it and that new job too. of course he's happy but main thing he said: "how much though? don't want you to spend too much money. i should be the one doing most of the shelling out. i'm not sure when exactly but there's this money coming in and i'm waiting for that so i don't want you having to do this."

first i cried a lot, then pitied myself and then:

i went B E R S E R K

imagine there's a broken bridge separating us and i FIXED it but you're like: "how much did that cost though? blah blah blah excuses i wanna virtue signal."

you know why he virtue signals so hard?

coz i told him about about this one time i dated this pisces sun/libra moon guy. but you know what? even if that was a scam, at least it was a FAIR scam where he actually spent time with me. i was just asking for ONE DAY how hard is that? i was super chill the whole couple months and i'm just asking for this day. i feel like i'm the only one really making an effort to save our relationship, while he's mostly all talk while i actually put my money where my mouth is. we have at various times these couple months sent money to each other back and forth (i can't explain, maybe coz we're both earth signs?). but why does money first came to mind than seeing me? i'm so hurt.

so i went crazy BUT to fix that whole 'waiting for money to come in,' i decided to send him money to his account so he'll have no excuse but noooo virtue signal demands that he can keep his honor only if he pays for everything. it's sooo stupid, old fashioned, IMPRACTICAL. will this man die if i buy him lunch? why can't i just get a normal guy who doesn't scam me but is also not a jane austen overkill? now i've lost my appetite even more.

it feels like r/deadbedroom and i'm only 26 😭😭

Posted by Pesto101

Paragraphs. Dudes don't like paragraph expectations. That's about what i gathered lol.

Chill dude.

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Pesto101

Paragraphs. Dudes don't like paragraph expectations. That's about what i gathered lol.

Chill dude.

people say to be more communicative but now... don't? it's sensible to have expectations within relationships. are you copypasting advice from hypocrites instead of thinking on your own? it's reasonable anywhere really be it a job or any other situation. he had expectations of how 'engaging' i should be in texting, why can't i have any?

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