Gemini man(me) and Virgo woman(ex)

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by AlantheGemini on Wednesday, July 29, 2020 and has 22 replies.
Need some help deciding the female Virgo. She was my longest relationship and we recently met up and had a beyond great night filled with laughter smiles and surprisingly love. What does she want if she’s already married
A friend?

A lover?

Can you ask her?
A glimpse back in time from yesteryear... some excitement... admiration.. taboo territory... anything but the boredom of her life at percent.

Don’t get your hope up, she’s married.
Posted by sweethearts

A glimpse back in time from yesteryear... some excitement... admiration.. taboo territory... anything but the boredom of her life at percent.

Don’t get your hope up, she’s married.
....bit on the side 🥴
She’s explained to me that she just wants me in her life and that she regrets getting married. Although last night she literally told me she loved me and always thought that I got too good for her as a person and that she doesn’t want me felling sorry for her.
We went out 4 years ago during and after high school and we unfortunately had a falling out that resulted in her being with an older guy and me being stuck alone. She tried keeping contact with me but always talked about herself and how things were going with her BF(now husband). I eventually just cut her off and did my best to ghost her completely but recently this year if 2020 she’s been REALLY trying to come in contact with me. Well a couple days ago on Saturday, we met up and *clicked* and just vibed to a point where it felt like the good old days but more mature because were actually listening to eachother and being reasonable. She told me how she basically was the man in the marriage and that’s it’s only for his papers,(Which she is doing all the work) and she regrets it also because he’s not ready for everything she wants like he said he was. Anyway! We ended up having sex later that night but neither both of us regret that it happened but know that we shouldn’t be doing it. She’s
Marriage of convenience?
@MyStarsShine

I want to say yes for him but she cried to me last night while she was a little buzzed telling me that she hates her marriage and that she always missed me and looked for me and never understood why I never looked for her back because I guess that was all she really wanted but the more times I would reply she’d feel more discouraged and confused as to why I hate her. I told her I NEVER stopped loving her but that I knew that our paths just weren’t meant to cross and when they do I just wish and hope I’d be ready for it.
Posted by AlantheGemini

@MyStarsShine

I want to say yes for him but she cried to me last night while she was a little buzzed telling me that she hates her marriage and that she always missed me and looked for me and never understood why I never looked for her back because I guess that was all she really wanted but the more times I would reply she’d feel more discouraged and confused as to why I hate her. I told her I NEVER stopped loving her but that I knew that our paths just weren’t meant to cross and when they do I just wish and hope I’d be ready for it.



How long have they been wed? Is he unhappy too?
They’ve been together 5 years but married 2 and they sort of just tolerate eachother. Not to mention this guy is TOXIC! what pisses me off is that he’s undocumented but treats her like shit, he’d lock her in a room like a dog in a cage and when they’d walk in public he holds her by her neck as if she’s his property. She’s over him and idk what this means but she said “if you decide to never talk to me again I think I’d just divorce my husband and move away because I’d have nothing left for me to stay here for” so I’m not entirely sure what she’s playing at
Lmaooooo

Nah you trolling

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
pray that virgo become independent and spread her wings
Posted by AlantheGemini

They’ve been together 5 years but married 2 and they sort of just tolerate eachother. Not to mention this guy is TOXIC! what pisses me off is that he’s undocumented but treats her like shit, he’d lock her in a room like a dog in a cage and when they’d walk in public he holds her by her neck as if she’s his property. She’s over him and idk what this means but she said “if you decide to never talk to me again I think I’d just divorce my husband and move away because I’d have nothing left for me to stay here for” so I’m not entirely sure what she’s playing at
Sounds like she has very low self esteem and is confused?
Ask yourself, why does she need you to walk away from her marriage. If you weren’t there would anyone do?

Then who will she need to walk away from you later on down the track when things get tough... or have you been there already .. and it was him?

This woman already has a cycle. If she is serious then she should take things into her own hands without you there to save her.

You being right there at her beck and call is only enabling her and tying you into the next relationship before you can make your own mind up. Step back and open your eyes. You sound lonely and desperate for the fairy tale but you split for a reason. Take out the heart and use your head (big head)
It may be more productive to stop wondering what she's thinking and start examining your own motivations, intentions, and wishes in reconnecting with an ex who is married.
Posted by AlantheGemini

They’ve been together 5 years but married 2 and they sort of just tolerate eachother. Not to mention this guy is TOXIC! what pisses me off is that he’s undocumented but treats her like shit, he’d lock her in a room like a dog in a cage and when they’d walk in public he holds her by her neck as if she’s his property. She’s over him and idk what this means but she said “if you decide to never talk to me again I think I’d just divorce my husband and move away because I’d have nothing left for me to stay here for” so I’m not entirely sure what she’s playing at
I love when my dude holds me by the back of the neck. Its like a protective/possessive thing, similar to holding hands.

I'm sure they have issues, hell every couple does. You both did which is why your no longer together. But be careful feeding into the image she paints. If he was so toxic why did she leave you for him? Why she date him for 3 years and then stay married to him for the last 2 years?

Nothing more toxic imo then meeting up with an ex behind your partners back and bad mouthing them instead of working on your relationship or having the balls to leave.

Nothing more toxic than calling up an ex that you left for your current husband only to sleep with said ex. Nothing says toxic like cheating on your spouse.

I’ve given it a lot of thought and I originally told her that I simply only wanted to be friends and we agreed having sex was a mistake but we were honest enough to su that it did cross our minds at some point in the night. She’s told me that she’s never stopped thinking of me and she tried contacting me even after I kept deleting her requests and messages. The first month she married the dude she regretted it because she found out that he lied to her about the type of person he was and what he wanted in life. It’s difficult for her to leave because she fears to look like a failure in front of her family and peers. I can understand that but ultimately I feel like I need to distance myself away bit by bit from her until Im gone again. Unless I give her an ultimatum to choose but I wouldn’t want to pressure anybody into doing something they’re not entirely ready for. She loves me but fears our friendship will kindle some deep feelings between us. It’s a dangerous road I’m trying to walk down but I know I have to take the exit soon.
Posted by AlantheGemini

I’ve given it a lot of thought and I originally told her that I simply only wanted to be friends and we agreed having sex was a mistake but we were honest enough to su that it did cross our minds at some point in the night. She’s told me that she’s never stopped thinking of me and she tried contacting me even after I kept deleting her requests and messages. The first month she married the dude she regretted it because she found out that he lied to her about the type of person he was and what he wanted in life. It’s difficult for her to leave because she fears to look like a failure in front of her family and peers. I can understand that but ultimately I feel like I need to distance myself away bit by bit from her until Im gone again. Unless I give her an ultimatum to choose but I wouldn’t want to pressure anybody into doing something they’re not entirely ready for. She loves me but fears our friendship will kindle some deep feelings between us. It’s a dangerous road I’m trying to walk down but I know I have to take the exit soon.
Sounds like you’re making the right move away from a messy situation

Good luck!
Posted by GemiAwesomeAss
Posted by LadyNeptune

It may be more productive to stop wondering what she's thinking and start examining your own motivations, intentions, and wishes in reconnecting with an ex who is married.


They both are obviously not happy currently.

There IS a possibility to a change...except her husband is walking her by the neck - sort of sounds like bullshit and if true - leaving such a nice man seems impossible...though he doesn’t have papers means she can report him and he will be thrown out...THEN why ta fuck she let him walk her by the neck? Too much bullshit.
click to expand
If he's really that abusive and horrible then op should be helping her expose him to immigration and get his ass deported. Then help her get into housing if needed.

Sticking his dick in her doesn't help the situation, it could be fatal really if her husband is as abusive and controlling as she makes out.

Of course I don't want to victim blame here. A lot of people struggle to leave their abusers. I just don't see how him sticking his dick in her helps her situation at all.
@GemiAwesomeAss

You don’t even know anything dude. Yeah we fucked up by rushing things and having sex but that was something that we were hiding deep within us. I know it’s fucked up saying I regret it now but better now than later down the line. She’ll never take the step to leave him and I can’t keep torturing myself being at her every beck and call. So you need to check yourself first and foremost buddy. If she’s unhappy then what can I do about it? I’m trying to be there for her and let her know that if she leaves him I’ll still be here to cheer her on. But if she stays with him then that’s what was really meant to be
Posted by AlantheGemini

@MyStarsShine

I want to say yes for him but she cried to me last night while she was a little buzzed telling me that she hates her marriage and that she always missed me and looked for me and never understood why I never looked for her back because I guess that was all she really wanted but the more times I would reply she’d feel more discouraged and confused as to why I hate her. I told her I NEVER stopped loving her but that I knew that our paths just weren’t meant to cross and when they do I just wish and hope I’d be ready for it.
From my experience I dated a woman a few years ago and she was 3 years separated at the time when I met her. We dated but she was never divorced and that always made me question what we had and it also made me feel insecure. Long story short she ended up going back to that guy just because he bought her a house and made a really good income. We still talked after but I had to cut her off completely because she would tell me she loved me and that would break my heart even more. Just be careful out there man and don't get played.
@J-Hay

I can totally understand that. She already has a man with all that and they already bought a house together but she always tells me that she’s not happy with him, that he’s abusive and that she feels bad for him or his family if they get divorced because they might get deported. She also doesn’t want her family to think she failed so she’s embarrassed. I’m feeling a game of her unravel the further we hang out sometimes because I’m always feeling hidden by her. Red flag already, and I’ll be damned if I fuck myself up just because she’s too confused on what she’s rather have.