How do I let go... 😩

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by Winters12 on Tuesday, October 13, 2020 and has 9 replies.
I love her my (Gem) partner but I know it may not work out and I don’t think she has my kids best interest etc I can’t seem to let go of her ☹️
There is no easy way. Love doesn't stop just because we realize "it may not work". Our mind is going to torture us as well. Where there is a will, there is a way, though!

Make it clear to yourself why you should end it. Does she dislike that you are a father of three? How is this "issue" going to be solved? This is not something that is negotiable. Please don't abandon your children.


We sat down last night and have had a chat,

She has told me she is 100% committed to me and my children and she has made a few good points her end.

She is currently struggling with her children at the moment as she is raising them on her own however I try to help when ever I can.

She has told me at this moment in time she cannot committee to my child arrangements I have with my ex partner because she needs to sort her own children out first they are unsettled and out of routine due to her moving house and sorting her child arrangements through court with her ex partner etc .

I have made it clear that my children come first and that they come with me as a package and she has said she’ll never leave them out and when we come to live together it would be a problem them staying with us over night every other weekend and that is my arrangements anyway .

So last night I went to hers and soon as she opened the door I just wanted to laugh and she told me so did she I held it in tho and so did she because we was both still upset I just felt complete love for her soon as I seen her and once we talked about things and straightened them out things got a little heated under the sheets and the connection we had was unreal she told me she thought she was going to loose me and that I was going to break it off with her and I did consider it however once we sat and spoke we both realised that we haven’t really show each other much respect lately and have been expecting too much of each other I love this lady because she is fair but we just see things differently at times and get our wires crossed .

Posted by Pulsy

Yes by having sex


It was more than just sex tho and I have had just sex like all of us have .

I take it you mean using sex as a distraction because even tho it meant something I am still well aware and testing her now if she fucks up i am gone.
Posted by tiziani

then again you had kids, so maybe that's not the best strategy.
Yeah I get what you mean however there are children involved so again your right / however I have my ex partner in the back ground saying I hope you make the right choice etc I know she wants me back even after everything but I can’t look at her in the eyes my heart is telling me to stay with my partner (Gem) and my head is telling me to leave and build a friendship with my ex who I have my children with and then it plays on my heart and my head they are torn .
Posted by Undine

Where there is a will, there is a way, though!
My mind realized that my love for him was dangerous to my mental + physical health, so it worked overtime to kill it.

Now I'm at peace and no longer tethered to him in any way. Although it's amusing to see him cry about it. Missing his rock, his bff and the best lover he will EVER have.

Meanwhile, things are so much simpler for me. The buffet is open 24/7, and all I'm interested in is catching up for lost time because I missed out on so much meat because I was too damn loyal 😁

User Submitted Image

But you gotta have a strong mind to get over someone you once described as the love of your life. If you're a weakling, you're destined to be everyone's doormat.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by Undine

Where there is a will, there is a way, though!


My mind realized that my love for him was dangerous to my mental + physical health, so it worked overtime to kill it.

Now I'm at peace and no longer tethered to him in any way. Although it's amusing to see him cry about it. Missing his rock, his bff and the best lover he will EVER have.

Meanwhile, things are so much simpler for me. The buffet is open 24/7, and all I'm interested in is catching up for lost time because I missed out on so much meat because I was too damn loyal 😁

User Submitted Image

But you gotta have a strong mind to get over someone you once described as the love of your life. If you're a weakling, you're destined to be everyone's doormat.
click to expand


That is just dam filthy 😅😅 🍆 I Love it 🤣
So what is the new arrangement? Keeping the old arrangement?! For how long?

You should only agree to a bad situation if it's for a very short term, up to a deadline. Do you have a deadline? If not, what did you gain from your "we need to talk"? Make up sex?
So we have both come to realise that we have been expecting too much of each other she is no longer going to get moody and put pressure on me about my ex partner seeing my family and talking to them etc .

She has also pointed out that the reason she didn’t want my children in her house at the time was because her house was all packed up still and decorating was still going on etc and did want my kids to pull it all out and I understand that but when I approached her on it she got upset started to cry and say that I know your kids come with you i treat them fairly and they never miss out on things I treat them the same as my own etc and to be honest she has been pretty fair my only concern was that when we finally make the jump to live together as I mentioned to her will she be committed to my child arrangements and my kids on the weekends etc because if she isn’t it will not work and she has told me yes she is 100 percent and she knew I had kids to begin with She also said we won’t make that jump unless we are both completely sure because I said I don’t want to do it unless you can put up with it all like I Do with her children my mum has said to me why is she asking for her children not to be around yours at the moment when will she ever be ready to committee to your children however I get that people need time as she is struggling at the moment in her own mind with her own children and if it means I am putting more pressure on her it’s only going to worsen the situation so come to the conclusion that we are going to take it one step at a time start to respect each other better and when I have my oldest daughter and she isn’t at her mums I will not see my partner on them days and at the moment our children are staying apart until she’s sorted her side out for a few weeks .

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