I need your opinion on this situation with a gem man..

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by misha77 on Thursday, February 3, 2022 and has 25 replies.
He wants a pen pal. Sounds like Venus in 12th house: they prefer texting/calling instead of actual meetings.
details
He has said, yes we have nothing in common, we will be just friends.

Take it for what it is, he’s telling you what he wants. Decide if you can just accept him as a friend.

From your story, he was only looking for a distant companion all along or he would have made moves himself in those 2 years… unfortunately we (women) want more and make things up in our own minds of what type of relationship this is… it was a friendship not a partnership.

details
“yes we have nothing in common, we will be just friends''.

^^^He has been honest ....

details
Posted by misha77

I left like I had no feelings at all.. I dont even give him a hug, I dont touch him..I dont smile..

Maybe I am crazy, but how I know him, I feel him hurt...thats why i came here to ask you guys...

I know myself and how I can hurt people, for not showing anything and i close myself completely.
Did you have sex with him misha?
details
yes...
details
Hey, I'm Romanian too!

Long distance relationships are difficult and easily ruined when one of the rare face-to-face encounters doesn't go well. You can't fake chemistry, but even if you two had tons of it before, you could still ruin it by being moody, cold, unsexy and petty at a later time. For a romantic relationship, these meetings in person are far more important than what you did from the distance.

You went cold on him because he was cold with you. Cold from a romantic relationship point of view, but good enough for a casual friendship at distance. "I want a committed romantic relationship" would raise the question of why do you want it with him, if meeting each other in person was disappointing for both of you.
details
Seems like he has decided you are his friend and he will keep in touch as such, there's nothing confusing about it. He separated himself from an intimate moment, focused on an object instead of your feelings, and directly told you he has no interest in you romantically because he doesn't feel a connection because you two lack things in common. He may find you attractive (but isn't attracted) and sees qualities he likes in you but it sounds like he is not seeking a relationship as of yet.
details
I met a man and talked for two years and then flew out to meet him

The reality didn’t match up with the illusion I’d built up so I felt a bit deflated

I’m a Scorp too and he’s an Aqua with Pisces moon. His moon didn’t help with the delusions and we both got caught up in the fantasy of it....

I’d not do the LDR thing again unless we decided to meet relatively quickly.
details
Posted by misha77

So, we are strong girls, scorpio, isn't ? smile

I am sad...honestly makes me very sad all the story...somehow i felt that there was something missing, with all his proves that he is present in my life from far, and not because we are far 150 km, but from his moods...2-3 days happy, if i missed to see a picture he send in 30 minutes he will deleted it...and get very offense..

Sending Big big hugs to you girls! **
Yes we are 💪👍😀

We feel deeply but once we let go, we are unstoppable!

(((Hugs))) back misha

❤️
details
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Not exactly the same situation, but I think Gem men like fantasy. Years ago when I was in my early twenties I was talking to this Gem man for a couple of years. He was so lovey dovey and saying all these things to make me think he was really into me. He wanted to meet in person. So I buy my plane ticket and make plans to fly out and see him. Well the day before I was supposed to leave he went cold and stopped all communication. Completely ghosted me and I never heard from him again. I later found out he had a girlfriend. She was his reality and I was his fantasy, but when that fantasy was about to become a reality he had to cut ties. Now I blamed him for awhile after that, but then realized that I was just as much to blame if not more so for being so naive as to think a man whom I’ve never met in real life could have feelings for me. I learned a lot from that situation and also realized over the years that I’m not a good match with Gemini men.
What an idiot 👎🏻

I’ve never done too well with air sign men....too much in their head for me

🥴
details
Posted by ScorpioDreams

Not exactly the same situation, but I think Gem men like fantasy. Years ago when I was in my early twenties I was talking to this Gem man for a couple of years. He was so lovey dovey and saying all these things to make me think he was really into me. He wanted to meet in person. So I buy my plane ticket and make plans to fly out and see him. Well the day before I was supposed to leave he went cold and stopped all communication. Completely ghosted me and I never heard from him again. I later found out he had a girlfriend. She was his reality and I was his fantasy, but when that fantasy was about to become a reality he had to cut ties. Now I blamed him for awhile after that, but then realized that I was just as much to blame if not more so for being so naive as to think a man whom I’ve never met in real life could have feelings for me. I learned a lot from that situation and also realized over the years that I’m not a good match with Gemini men.
I'm very sorry to break this down to ya but Scorpio lady and Gemini man are only good for a few night stands and fantasies.
details
Your communication style s also appear to be way off. That is the kiss of death to a relationship with a Gemini. And for a LDR, communication has to be EXTRA good.
details
Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.
details
It’s easy for someone to “be there for you” from afar or give that impression. Talk is cheap.

After two years of talking the least he should do is meet you half way. You putting in all that effort was not the move.

Sit back and let people show you how important you are in their lives. Less disappointment that way.
details
Posted by misha77

...He did this to me before, last year, like 2 or 3 times i guess, and coming back in maxim 1 week, like nothing happened..

I need your opinion, please....

Stop letting him "come back" just to do the same thing again and again. People, particularly Gems will "play" with you if you allow them to. Don't.

Generally speaking, I have found going with the flow and simply enjoying your time with them oddly enough is exactly what is required to turn something into a relationship. Similar to Sags, they do not like restrictions. This doesn't mean you don't have boundaries. Simply that you don't have rules. From your presentation after you slept over his house, it screams passive aggressive and emotional manipulation. Gems are one of the sharpest people out there and can smell that a mile away. They also can not be twisted up by it, so it's a wasted exercise.

If he is not going to offer you what you want and you can not relax enough to see where it goes, don't let the man wander in and out off your life. Simple.
details
Posted by misha77

Why to fight for me and be there since 2019...to show me what good man you are...and to convinced me to see you...all the time till last year.. Yes with the fights in between.. we were supposed to see eachother in 2020 but the situations with Covid was worst, had to take care of my family Sad

Offf you gemini ...and we scorpio ..

I knew you were a water sign....*sigh*

Yeah, save yourself the frustration. Your post reads as being far too fixed for a Gem.
details
Posted by SassyKiwi

Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.
I like this advice! smile

In her defence, it's quite offensive in Romanian culture to have sex with your lover and then deny them the intimacy of sleeping and waking up together in the same bed, unless there is a very good reason for it. The morning after must have been awkward for her, especially if he behaved like nothing happened between them.

details
Posted by Undine
Posted by SassyKiwi

Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.


I like this advice! smile

In her defence, it's quite offensive in Romanian culture to have sex with your lover and then deny them the intimacy of sleeping and waking up together in the same bed, unless there is a very good reason for it. The morning after must have been awkward for her, especially if he behaved like nothing happened between them.
click to expand

Hmph the cultural insight is definitely appreciated. Thing is, without even reading her next few posts I immediately thought she's a Crab or a Scorp based on how she dealt with his "disappearance" when she woke up. As I stated, passive aggressive does not work on Gems (or Aqua and Sags for that matter), so it got her no where and I wouldn't be surprised if a simple "I missed you when I woke up! I guess you were busy making breakfast so we'd have our strength for round 2" would have gotten a good laugh from him and sparked a better conversation.

Gems (sadly) need verbal communication to understand how they impact water signs.
details
Too bad you didn't have an interest in what he was trying to explain about his car. Gem men love cars and you could have really made a connection with him if you had shown interest in what he was saying about it. They like you to be fun, talkative and smart. They aren't into heavy personalities.
details
Posted by Undine
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Undine
Posted by SassyKiwi

Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.


I like this advice! smile

In her defence, it's quite offensive in Romanian culture to have sex with your lover and then deny them the intimacy of sleeping and waking up together in the same bed, unless there is a very good reason for it. The morning after must have been awkward for her, especially if he behaved like nothing happened between them.

Hmph the cultural insight is definitely appreciated. Thing is, without even reading her next few posts I immediately thought she's a Crab or a Scorp based on how she dealt with his "disappearance" when she woke up. As I stated, passive aggressive does not work on Gems (or Aqua and Sags for that matter), so it got her no where and I wouldn't be surprised if a simply "I missed you when I woke up! I guess you were busy making breakfast so we'd have our strength for round 2" would have gotten a good laugh from him and sparked a better conversation.

Gems (sadly) need verbal communication to understand how they impact water signs.


.....but not a Pisces? Big Grin
click to expand

Lol. If I had to guess I'm thinking a Fish would have probably been polite then simply left feeling slighted.

I find between us water signs Scorps and Crabs tend to do the icy cold shoulder thing a lot more when we feel slighted by a lover. Fish folks tends to just hold it in and float away quietly, however yes we are all prone to do the passive aggressive form of communication depending on the situation or relationship.
details
"Stop letting him "come back" just to do the same thing again and again. People, particularly Gems will "play" with if you allow them to. Don't."

This ^^^

details
Posted by geminiflyby

"Stop letting him "come back" just to do the same thing again and again. People, particularly Gems will "play" with if you allow them to. Don't."

This ^^^

You could have corrected my typo lol....
details
Posted by Undine
Posted by SassyKiwi

Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.


I like this advice! smile

In her defence, it's quite offensive in Romanian culture to have sex with your lover and then deny them the intimacy of sleeping and waking up together in the same bed, unless there is a very good reason for it. The morning after must have been awkward for her, especially if he behaved like nothing happened between them.
click to expand


Tbh I’m sure that’d feel offensive in any culture. But I’d figure that’s a risk people are willing to take when they’re practically sleeping with someone on the first date/real life meet. I honestly didn’t think too much into it cause she had mentioned he was snoring in the other room. Personally I’m super sensitive to snorers so maybe he’s had complaints from past lovers and therefore always ends up in the other bed 🤣
details
Don’t deal in confusion. Don’t give any energy to it.

Leave confused people where they are
details
Posted by misha77
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Undine
Posted by SassyKiwi

Lol is no one seriously going to point out how it was her who was acting “VERY cold and distant”? Regardless of what sign guy it is, if I were in his shoes I’d have said the same thing to her. Everything goes two ways. If a guy felt like he was talking to a wall, he’s not gonna be interested in you no matter how hard you like him in your head. Your real life actions also have to match your fondness for a person… You just need to work on expressing yourself more appropriately. It doesn’t matter if you had online communication for years. All it takes is one bad real life meet up to change everything.


I like this advice! smile

In her defence, it's quite offensive in Romanian culture to have sex with your lover and then deny them the intimacy of sleeping and waking up together in the same bed, unless there is a very good reason for it. The morning after must have been awkward for her, especially if he behaved like nothing happened between them.


Tbh I’m sure that’d feel offensive in any culture. But I’d figure that’s a risk people are willing to take when they’re practically sleeping with someone on the first date/real life meet. I honestly didn’t think too much into it cause she had mentioned he was snoring in the other room. Personally I’m super sensitive to snorers so maybe he’s had complaints from past lovers and therefore always ends up in the other bed 🤣


smile)) May be true, now looking back! I was furious not even knowing where to open the light and i gave one strong head on the wall, i thought is the door open smile)

Its funny now..but that moment I was nuts....And he wakes up, coming after me in the kitchen with a full smile on his face..Omg.. Wish I was smarter on how to deal with the situation, is the first time in my life sleeping with someone on the first date..
click to expand


It's good that you're willing to see all this from a whole other perspective than your initial post. Less emotional and more logical. It's totally fine if you blew it with him, you live and you learn. Someone's always gotta be your guinea pig. Plus he seems like a total snooze anyway.
details
Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy