Please could I have your views on this

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by Winters12 on Friday, September 25, 2020 and has 21 replies.
I know I post a lot on here but I would like some advice on this ?


My partner (Gemini) doesn’t want us to live together because of my daughter influencing her daughter so basically my daughter who is 11 has said she likes girls not boys but this has all been influenced by her mother as her mother is bisexual and the things my daughter has seen and Heard shouldn’t be what a child should hear I am absolutely pissed off with it .

The only thing I can do is what I explained to my partner is influenced my daughter the right way now my daughter lives with me full time but she see her mum once a fortnight I understand my partners concerns but my hands are also tied we have just had a big argument about this and I don’t know what the best step is to take forward .
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Posted by SolitariusLupus

DUDE!!!! Your daughter should come first. If your lady can't accept that your daughter likes girls then she can pound fkn sand. Your daughter is not the only lesbian your partners daughters are going to meet. Maybe your partner should raise her children to think for themselves then she wouldn't have to worry about it.. not that it is something one should EVER worry about. That's a lame excuse for not living with you. Every time you post all I wanna do is tell you to leave her. Your daughter should be number one, not the lady basically shunning her ffs.


Are you a gem your self just wondering


And I completely get what you are saying however it’s a bit deeper than just giving up like that. .
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Okay so for one I love my kids would do anything for them no one will stand in the way of that also I just feel stuck at the moment we talked last night and she said to me from the start the relationship was a bit of a failure and then told me there was red flags because of my family not accepting her at first and that was because I moved on way to quickly I know that now and I have myself to blame for that. She also went on to say maybe we need a few days apart and she was saying it breaks her heart etc but when she’s saying it there’s no emotion on her face and now I’m the morning we have woken up and she is acting like non of this even happened last night and is seeming happy and now she’s gone to training this morning the I.e the gym and asked if the kids are okay to stay with me and I said yes so I now have her kids for an hour while she trains what should I do I’m thinking call her bluff and have them few days apart .
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You’re making a lot of excuses for this woman, you say you put your kids ahead of her but from what you’re writing, you clearly don’t at all!!!


If your daughter feels she likes girls, you can’t change that. That’s not influenced by anyone so cut the crap you feed yourself. Whatever your child is or chooses to be you need to accept and so does your partner.. that’s if she is the right person you should be with.


This woman sounds toxic. You say it’s not easy but that’s because you are letting the little head rule the big!
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Posted by Winters12

I know I post a lot on here but I would like some advice on this ?


My partner (Gemini) doesn’t want us to live together because of my daughter influencing her daughter so basically my daughter who is 11 has said she likes girls not boys but this has all been influenced by her mother as her mother is bisexual and the things my daughter has seen and Heard shouldn’t be what a child should hear I am absolutely pissed off with it .

The only thing I can do is what I explained to my partner is influenced my daughter the right way now my daughter lives with me full time but she see her mum once a fortnight I understand my partners concerns but my hands are also tied we have just had a big argument about this and I don’t know what the best step is to take forward .


I'm outraged! Why are you...both of you!...sexualising an 11 years old child? Of course she SHOULD like girls, not boys at this age! End of discussion.
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I am not at all I have told my partner she can be what the fuck she wants to be it’s up too her and I have told my daughter the same weather my partner likes it or no I don’t give a shit !
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Posted by Winters12

I am not at all I have told my partner she can be what the fuck she wants to be it’s up too her and I have told my daughter the same weather my partner likes it or no I don’t give a shit !
My niece is 12, and apparently she is now by her third "boyfriend", according to her parents. If you ask her however, those 'boyfriends" are nothing special, even as friends, they not even came second or third to her friendship to other girls. Yet adults are happy to sexualise such innocent interactions!


You may not care, but you partner is clearly homophobic and ignorant. Homophobic, because she won't live with you because she thinks your daughter is gay! Ignorant, because she things that is "contagious" and may infect her own daughter!


I would tell her to go fuck herself...you don't want her daughter to compromise yours either, and end up with teenage pregnancy...... or something as ridiculous as that...


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Posted by Winters12

I know I post a lot on here but I would like some advice on this ?


My partner (Gemini) doesn’t want us to live together because of my daughter influencing her daughter so basically my daughter who is 11 has said she likes girls not boys but this has all been influenced by her mother as her mother is bisexual and the things my daughter has seen and Heard shouldn’t be what a child should hear I am absolutely pissed off with it .

The only thing I can do is what I explained to my partner is influenced my daughter the right way now my daughter lives with me full time but she see her mum once a fortnight I understand my partners concerns but my hands are also tied we have just had a big argument about this and I don’t know what the best step is to take forward .
Listen, I'm not a Gemini but you have to understand the position she's in. If you two are still dating or in a relationship, then just accept it for what it is. Think about how many ridiculous things in society already are influencing our children and we have no control over. Now, imagine actually being able to control or reject an influence. She's only doing what any parent would do. I'm not judging the behaviors. I'm addressing the parental control to reject an influence that is deemed unacceptable. For each culture that's different and for each family. But you yourself have already stated that you don't approve of the behaviors. I'm glad you're stepping outside your feelings concerning this because it's one of those individual values we all have.
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So this will make you laugh ?

I asked her if we could have alone time together because like I said I have helped her move into her new house painted some of the rooms in her new house cared for her children etc so she gave me like an hour of her time one night last week so this week last night because the decorating is pretty much done she’s now on to me about spending time together so i said that’s fine . Anyway I had my other children yesterday and then I left her house at say 5 o’clock to drop my two other daughters back to there mums house on the way back I rang her and said would you like me to come back me and my older daughter who lives with me full time . Her reply was not until I have put my girls to bed as it will only set them off into a hyper mood and they have school tomorrow so I accepted that and I went back to my place . I rang her later on as she said she would like me to come around after her girls are in bed and so I went to hers with my daughter and we sat and watched a film together me my partner and my daughter. Now my partner has a pissy face on her and I’m looking thing wtf is wrong with you and she told me previously that she wants to spend time together . So I try my best to please her but it isn’t good enough she moans at me and has been this morning as well saying we never get a break she said I know I also have my children but once they are in bed that’s our free time but we can’t as you also have your daughter with you she said the other mothers get there break and time alone with there partners I.e my ex partners With there partners and we get no time at all it’s like you pick up your other two daughters and drop one off only to drop the other two off and pick the other one back up . I don’t get what she wants me to do it’s really pissing me off now !! I can never seem to please her it’s sounds like she just wants me all to her self and I take on her daughters but she doesn’t do the same but as soon as I turn around and say something like that she gets defensive and Starts saying don’t you dare say I don’t take on your daughters they come round mine I feed them etc and so on she has also said that we haven’t booked any days out in a while it’s becoming a routine In her words why should my kids miss out on things they are all I have in this world it’s ok for your kids they have there other parent taking them places but when your have your kids on the weekend we just go to the park and stuff like that my kids miss out because of it so I told her do your own thing with your kids in future feel like saying fuck off !!
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So she’s digging at me for not spending time with her yet last week it was okay because she had decorating to do so I had to suffer ?


Then this week it’s okay I’m done with decorating for now can we spend time together oh but wait you also have your daughter so we can’t really


And then its I need a break from kids I don’t feel like we ever get a break together I feel her pain on this one tho we don’t really but it’s not my fault


Then it’s the other parents get there alone time and get too relax with there partners when we have all the kids


The more and more I start to get to know this woman the more she’s pushing me away


What do I do 😡
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So my oldest daughter who lives with me is now staying with her mum a few nights a week and then every other weekend this is the solution I have come up with if she fucking moans anymore to me about this she can do one I have had enough I think I have been more than fair and reasonable I could of left the other night when we had that argument and her harsh words that she has now turnt around and said she’s sorry for saying and she didn’t mean it all she was just really mad and upset she basically said she can’t see it working out if I keep on to her she also said the relationship seemed like a failure from the start a lot of other things and now she wants to take back it all I don’t understand this woman does anyone know what she is playing at ??
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Just like you want her to respect your wishes as s parent respect hers. Just live separately. Honestly I think there is more sanity in that anyway lol. If y’all are still together when they are older move in together then. Partnership takes some adjusting when you have kids It’s a balancing act.
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Posted by SolitariusLupus
Posted by Winters12

Okay so for one I love my kids would do anything for them no one will stand in the way of that also I just feel stuck at the moment we talked last night and she said to me from the start the relationship was a bit of a failure and then told me there was red flags because of my family not accepting her at first and that was because I moved on way to quickly I know that now and I have myself to blame for that. She also went on to say maybe we need a few days apart and she was saying it breaks her heart etc but when she’s saying it there’s no emotion on her face and now I’m the morning we have woken up and she is acting like non of this even happened last night and is seeming happy and now she’s gone to training this morning the I.e the gym and asked if the kids are okay to stay with me and I said yes so I now have her kids for an hour while she trains what should I do I’m thinking call her bluff and have them few days apart .


How old is this lady? She sounds like a headache. I don't know why you are putting yourself through this crap. She is finding excuses everywhere she can, and eventually she will end it, sounds like she is trying. Just walk away.
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Do you think she is purposely doing this then ?


Also she is 28 years old

Do you think it’s the dark side of gemini coming out do you think she is being manipulative?


What would you make of this I find it so hard to just give up and walk away


I think it’s my Libra ascending


I am Sag Sun / Aquarius Moon also


I don’t know why I find it so hard .
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Posted by ladylibra21

Just like you want her to respect your wishes as s parent respect hers. Just live separately. Honestly I think there is more sanity in that anyway lol. If y’all are still together when they are older move in together then. Partnership takes some adjusting when you have kids It’s a balancing act.
I completely respect hers I treat her children literally like my own i really do and all it feels like is my kids do not matter only hers and she only wants me for her self deep down .
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Posted by Winters12
Posted by ladylibra21

Just like you want her to respect your wishes as s parent respect hers. Just live separately. Honestly I think there is more sanity in that anyway lol. If y’all are still together when they are older move in together then. Partnership takes some adjusting when you have kids It’s a balancing act.


I completely respect hers I treat her children literally like my own i really do and all it feels like is my kids do not matter only hers and she only wants me for her self deep down .
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I would say sit her down and figure out if that really is the case because if it is you shouldn’t be together. However, if you feel like it’s just a judgement on your daughter then truly look at it because we all get defensive when it comes to our babies and it can be hard to feel like someone is trying to come for your baby. But it’s perfectly normal for her to have a concern there are things to consider. Like what if your daughter made a move on her daughter? Doesn’t mean it would happen but think about it if true was a boy girl situation. If I was moving my son in with a partner who had a daughter there would be a little bit of apprehension there. I would make sure to tell him to keep his hands to him self and never do anything compromising because that would make things complicated. Children especially those around puberty age are very much influenced by many things and if her daughter is going to be a lesbian then she will be but I’m sure she would want her daughter to make that decision with a clear head and not because it’s popular in the house. Doesn’t mean she is homophobic just means she approaches things cautiously with her kids. I’d say truly sit down with her and feel her out to see where her head is. Trust your intuition and be objective. Try to take your papa bear voice out of it so you can see clearly who she is and if she fits in your life.
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Posted by ladylibra21
Posted by Winters12
Posted by ladylibra21

Just like you want her to respect your wishes as s parent respect hers. Just live separately. Honestly I think there is more sanity in that anyway lol. If y’all are still together when they are older move in together then. Partnership takes some adjusting when you have kids It’s a balancing act.


I completely respect hers I treat her children literally like my own i really do and all it feels like is my kids do not matter only hers and she only wants me for her self deep down .

I would say sit her down and figure out if that really is the case because if it is you shouldn’t be together. However, if you feel like it’s just a judgement on your daughter then truly look at it because we all get defensive when it comes to our babies and it can be hard to feel like someone is trying to come for your baby. But it’s perfectly normal for her to have a concern there are things to consider. Like what if your daughter made a move on her daughter? Doesn’t mean it would happen but think about it if true was a boy girl situation. If I was moving my son in with a partner who had a daughter there would be a little bit of apprehension there. I would make sure to tell him to keep his hands to him self and never do anything compromising because that would make things complicated. Children especially those around puberty age are very much influenced by many things and if her daughter is going to be a lesbian then she will be but I’m sure she would want her daughter to make that decision with a clear head and not because it’s popular in the house. Doesn’t mean she is homophobic just means she approaches things cautiously with her kids. I’d say truly sit down with her and feel her out to see where her head is. Trust your intuition and be objective. Try to take your papa bear voice out of it so you can see clearly who she is and if she fits in your life.
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What do you mean by papa bear voice ?


I get her concerns on my daughter if she was to influence her daughter too be gay and I would also have the same concern if the shoe was on the other foot but people are free to be what they want to be .


What do you make of everything else I have said tho ? It’s like she is finding every excuse and feels like she can’t except my kids but I am brilliant with hers always am and always will be it’s stupid things she comes out with all the time like she said my kids could come back to hers but not go inside the house and stay outside in the garden I get that she wants to keep her house nice etc we all do but it’s stupid little things like that now as well I don’t get where her head is at do you think I am just being played here ??



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Posted by Winters12
Posted by ladylibra21
Posted by Winters12
Posted by ladylibra21

Just like you want her to respect your wishes as s parent respect hers. Just live separately. Honestly I think there is more sanity in that anyway lol. If y’all are still together when they are older move in together then. Partnership takes some adjusting when you have kids It’s a balancing act.


I completely respect hers I treat her children literally like my own i really do and all it feels like is my kids do not matter only hers and she only wants me for her self deep down .

I would say sit her down and figure out if that really is the case because if it is you shouldn’t be together. However, if you feel like it’s just a judgement on your daughter then truly look at it because we all get defensive when it comes to our babies and it can be hard to feel like someone is trying to come for your baby. But it’s perfectly normal for her to have a concern there are things to consider. Like what if your daughter made a move on her daughter? Doesn’t mean it would happen but think about it if true was a boy girl situation. If I was moving my son in with a partner who had a daughter there would be a little bit of apprehension there. I would make sure to tell him to keep his hands to him self and never do anything compromising because that would make things complicated. Children especially those around puberty age are very much influenced by many things and if her daughter is going to be a lesbian then she will be but I’m sure she would want her daughter to make that decision with a clear head and not because it’s popular in the house. Doesn’t mean she is homophobic just means she approaches things cautiously with her kids. I’d say truly sit down with her and feel her out to see where her head is. Trust your intuition and be objective. Try to take your papa bear voice out of it so you can see clearly who she is and if she fits in your life.


What do you mean by papa bear voice ?


I get her concerns on my daughter if she was to influence her daughter too be gay and I would also have the same concern if the shoe was on the other foot but people are free to be what they want to be .


What do you make of everything else I have said tho ? It’s like she is finding every excuse and feels like she can’t except my kids but I am brilliant with hers always am and always will be it’s stupid things she comes out with all the time like she said my kids could come back to hers but not go inside the house and stay outside in the garden I get that she wants to keep her house nice etc we all do but it’s stupid little things like that now as well I don’t get where her head is at do you think I am just being played here ??
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What I meant is to take the defensiveness you feel out of your voice when it comes to your kids, but I didn’t see all of that other part. Sounds like you have a right to be defensive. Sounds like she doesn’t trust your kids or is reluctant to move in with you. If she is used to being in hyper control of her life and hasn’t lived with so many people before she could secretly wanna keep her independence. But from the new information I’d say she either doesn’t trust your kids or just doesn’t wanna move in with you.
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It’s wired based on everything she has told me about her past relationship with her ex who she has her two children with and she was together with him for 7 years and lived together as well .

In her words - he use to get drunk every weekend I used to hate when Friday use to come around as he’d be drunk and walk out on me and I wouldn’t see him all weekend until the Sunday morning or Monday ?

He use to kick her door in before he knew of me as well I witnessed this with my own eyes

He use to send her texts all the time saying she’s a slag a bad mother all the names under the sun and just wouldn’t leave her alone yet when I come along and start treating her better this is what I get ?? I don’t understand It .
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Posted by SolitariusLupus
Posted by Winters12
Posted by SolitariusLupus
Posted by Winters12

Okay so for one I love my kids would do anything for them no one will stand in the way of that also I just feel stuck at the moment we talked last night and she said to me from the start the relationship was a bit of a failure and then told me there was red flags because of my family not accepting her at first and that was because I moved on way to quickly I know that now and I have myself to blame for that. She also went on to say maybe we need a few days apart and she was saying it breaks her heart etc but when she’s saying it there’s no emotion on her face and now I’m the morning we have woken up and she is acting like non of this even happened last night and is seeming happy and now she’s gone to training this morning the I.e the gym and asked if the kids are okay to stay with me and I said yes so I now have her kids for an hour while she trains what should I do I’m thinking call her bluff and have them few days apart .


How old is this lady? She sounds like a headache. I don't know why you are putting yourself through this crap. She is finding excuses everywhere she can, and eventually she will end it, sounds like she is trying. Just walk away.


Do you think she is purposely doing this then ?


Also she is 28 years old

Do you think it’s the dark side of gemini coming out do you think she is being manipulative?


What would you make of this I find it so hard to just give up and walk away


I think it’s my Libra ascending


I am Sag Sun / Aquarius Moon also


I don’t know why I find it so hard .


I just feel like you are giving more in this relationship than she is and you may get burned in the end. The fact that she is asking for a few days apart is generally the start of a downfall. And after everything you have been doing to help her, it doesn't make sense that she would ask for time apart. I'd cut your losses now, before you invest too much more only for her to decide she can't do it.
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I get what you mean


She said maybe we need a few days apart but when I said to her that’s fine I will get my daughter and go now she looked at me as if she didn’t want that to happen it’s like she’s playing mind games .
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too much drama - if it was healthy, it would be easier as you wouldn't have to wonder
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Wow, this whole relationship is going to come crashing in a big ball of fire 🔥 😬
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