Saw a post from some woman about men she loves - the ones who drink, go out with friends on the weekends to get drunk, who hit on other woman but she knows they're just hers (yeah rightπ€¦πΌββοΈ), who hit their hand against the table when a song hits them etc etc...meanwhile spitting on men who are simply normal. No wonder women are being beaten regularly by some aholes...cause that's exactly these kind of men that a lot of them agree that are attractive. Given my Mars position, I've been often told these are the kind of men I'm attracted to as well. Yet not once in my life did I find such men attractive. I love well mannered, well read, intelligent, fun, interesting, mysterious, well dressed, clean and neat men with good taste in music too. Those who always smell good, have fresh haircut and trim their body hair too. I could not care less about some hillbilly, messy and poorly maintained men, those who mistreat a woman, those who get drunk or even worse do drugs...
It's 3/24 and today I decided not talk or think about him anymore (this is the only place I talk about him, no one irl knows about my feelings), it's time to permanently end this and stop torturing myself. It's been 1 year, 2 months and 14 days since the day I realized I like him. If nothing happened in this amount of time, nothing will ever happen and it's about the time I accept I might have simply saw what's not there and this is one sided crush. To make it easier for myself, I deleted all the previous comments (hopefully I didn't skip any) and the topic I made about him, deleted photos that I had and I'll make myself forget about him. Life goes on even without people that mean the world to us, it certainly can go on without those you never had in the first place.
Must reinforce my apartment walls with 3 inch thick steel plates in the event he ever finds out where I live.