Am I Handling This Right?

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Spookygrl on Tuesday, September 1, 2020 and has 10 replies.
Hi, I’m a Scorpio woman who has been dating an Aquarius man for the last 3 weeks. Everything has been perfect: we speak everyday, we have had multiple 3 hour conversations at night, are very affectionate with eachother, have a lot in common, see a lot of things the same, enjoy each others company, see eachother every other day or so, laugh and basically have gotten very close to one another. Everything was great! Then I felt a shift in the universe as we Scorpios sometimes do, and I texted him to ask if he was okay. He told me that he received an email from his divorce lawyer and that his ex is not reporting income honestly and that he may end up having to pay spousal support. He said he was very angry and stressed over this development and that if it comes to fruition it would seriously affect his ability to move forward in life. He said he wasn’t sure he should be bringing this stress into a new relationship and that it was like a “kick in the balls because things were going so well between us”. He said he hadn’t had a chance to talk to his lawyer about it yet and that he just didn’t know how this was going to go. So I told him that I believe we have something pretty great between us, but that he has a lot of unknowns right now and things to figure out so I was going to give him space. I told him that once he gets it figured out, if he still wants to be with me to come find me. His response was “okay Please take care and be safe”.... and that was 24 hrs ago. I haven’t heard a single word from him since, and I’m so sad. I miss him. Did I handle this correctly in an Aquarius man’s eyes? Will he come find me?
By handling I mean was it the right thing to give space instead of sticking around for support. I feel like Aquarian’s really need space, from what little I know of them, so I thought it was the prudent move.
Yup. You’re on the right track. Patience is needed.

I love the phrase “shift in the universe.” I hate that feeling.
Posted by Spookygrl

Hi, I’m a Scorpio woman who has been dating an Aquarius man for the last 3 weeks. Everything has been perfect: we speak everyday, we have had multiple 3 hour conversations at night, are very affectionate with eachother, have a lot in common, see a lot of things the same, enjoy each others company, see eachother every other day or so, laugh and basically have gotten very close to one another. Everything was great! Then I felt a shift in the universe as we Scorpios sometimes do, and I texted him to ask if he was okay. He told me that he received an email from his divorce lawyer and that his ex is not reporting income honestly and that he may end up having to pay spousal support. He said he was very angry and stressed over this development and that if it comes to fruition it would seriously affect his ability to move forward in life. He said he wasn’t sure he should be bringing this stress into a new relationship and that it was like a “kick in the balls because things were going so well between us”. He said he hadn’t had a chance to talk to his lawyer about it yet and that he just didn’t know how this was going to go. So I told him that I believe we have something pretty great between us, but that he has a lot of unknowns right now and things to figure out so I was going to give him space. I told him that once he gets it figured out, if he still wants to be with me to come find me. His response was “okay Please take care and be safe”.... and that was 24 hrs ago. I haven’t heard a single word from him since, and I’m so sad. I miss him. Did I handle this correctly in an Aquarius man’s eyes? Will he come find me?

Yes that was good response. The only thing I would say you could have done better with is not allowing the divorce be the deciding factor in his head be the deciding factor as to when he comes around again. Rather when he makes the necessary adjustments mentally and emotional, after feeling overwhelmed by that situation. This is obviously IN HINDSIGHT, so don't take it to heart. That was a excellent in the moment response.

When he pops back up try to relay that in your own way. Life is well... messy. Some times you have to roll with the punches.
You decided to give him space. Not him. I would prefer to see if he wanted to end things or how he wanted to handle it. Now u don’t know how much he cares about you.
I asked him if he wanted me to exit, and he said that’s not what he was saying but said this: “ I have been feeling very low about this new development in the divorce and had just opened that email and havent even had a chance to talk to my lawyer. However the impact from this would be harsh and i could not bring that stress into a relationship so i need to see what develops there. It has been like being kicked in the nuts because i do feel strongly about how we click and our potential. I am at a loss and dont want to bring this into what we have going on.” And so from this I guess I made the decision to give him space. He did not argue it or try to convince me that this wasnt necessary, so I can only assume I gave him what he wanted with my decision.
Posted by Spookygrl

By handling I mean was it the right thing to give space instead of sticking around for support. I feel like Aquarian’s really need space, from what little I know of them, so I thought it was the prudent move.
One thing you can always be certain of, not matter what an Aquarius may endure, if they want to be with someone they will be. There's no right or wrong answer to your question. If he cares about you, the space will not matter. If he doesn't care about you and was just having fun, the space won't matter.

I'm not sure I know anyone who enjoys imbalances and the stress associated with our choices, however they're a necessary part of this process towards our ultimate goals.

If something is yours, nothing can take it from you. It doesn't matter if it's 20 years later, it will still be yours. Relax and go handle some business of your own to keep you occupied. After he establishes some stability again, he'll be back. And even if he doesn't come back, at this point you only used up a couple of weeks of your life.
24 hrs lmao, let him take care of business so y'all can be together.
I’m still in limbo... it’s been 6 days since he texted me about the unexpected developments in his divorce and I haven’t heard a single word from him. No text saying I miss you, nothing... it’s been such an abrupt departure from speaking every day, sometimes for hours on the phone, seeing eachother at least 3 times a week... it’s just screeching halt. He hasn’t unfriended me on FB and liked a new profile pic of me I posted on FB yesterday but otherwise radio silence. I went up to the mountains yesterday and posted pics on FB of me having fun so I’m sure he is seeing that I’m out living. I know he has his kids today and tomorrow, but I’m wrestling with sending him a message on Monday to check in with him and see how he is doing. Can an Aquarius please let me know if this is a good idea for me to reach out? I kind of also want to ask him if this chapter between us is closed in his mind... should I do this?
Spooky. Very similar to my current situation. This aqua man tile me after about 3 weeks of dating that he had just heard from his wife(that he previously said was his ex wife) that their divorce paperwork was not finalized.

I told him to handle it and find me later. I don't date married men or separated men.

I softened up and tried the just friends angle and 2 months later I'm still finding out more lies.