and up for it?

lol. Anybody up for talking about my Aqua relationship? I thought I'd ask first in case ya'll are not really up for playing therapist 🙂

Posted by bumboklatt
hmmm. By you asking makes me think its a long story lol. But yeah! ask away

Oh yay lol...I've been reading your feedback in other threads and was hoping you would show up.

It is kind of long so I will post it when I get home.

Thanks 🙂

Couldn't be any more better or worse then any other Aqua relationship. All eyes.

Can you stop deleting? -.-

Posted by Damnata
Can you stop deleting? -.-

😆 I can't.

BTW my brother is moving to Serbia for a year and I plan to visit. *waggles eyebrows*

Sorry everyone who replied. Aqua and I were talking lasts night about the issues so I didn't get to get back on and post. I will after work.

Lol, you are such a tease!

Yawns.

Posted by GiveMeAqua
Lol I'm game 😆..

I must warn you, you might open up Pandoras box to a crap load of my ranting. 😆

We are all ears 😄

Liked your pic too! You are the cutiest cutie of all cuties!!!

Sorry for "aging" you with..... a-hem.... 8 years in a previous post. I didn't mean to say you look older......it's hard to tell based on one pic. Besides, when one asks "How old do you think I am?" people assume you are not the age you actually look like you are 🙂....

Okay I'm here.

I wanted to try and give some background.

-I'm 5 years older than him. And his first serious relationship. He basically bs-ed his way into this relationship 😆 and I fell for it.

-We have interesting synastry. Sun/sun, sun/moon, moon/moon, moon/mars double whammy. His moon is getting hit pretty hard by my planets.

-We are both INFP and I think this plays a huge part in our relationship with each other. We are both super sensitive and defensive of what the other says or does. So, we have fake broken up a few times. If you don't know any INFPs (youre lucky lol jk) we are hyper sensitive to any type of feedback no matter how neutrel you try to make it sound. We procrastinate like a mfer. We are horrible at initiating so it comes across as lacking interest or selfish. And we are ridiculously idealistic and also horrible communicators. We expect the other person to read our mind. Do you see how 2 of these people in a relationship could be a huge issue? I read an article that said 2 INFPs in a relationship is like 2 people at a stop sign waiting for the other one to go first. And that is pretty much us.

Because of this one partner is pretty much forced to take on the role of the opposite of their true personality. Which would be me. And it causes a lot of resentment. Also, he's an INFP man which is a sensitive man and he's not really come to terms with that fact. So while he is sometimes okay with me leading, other times he digs his heels in on issues and refuses to compromise solely because he is "THE MAN" and it conflicts with his idealistic traditional gender roles. Essentially he won't lead in the relationship and he won't be lead. Which I can also relate to (aries) If you chase a dog, the dog will run but if you run away the dog will chase you. Not ideal for relationships.

It's a very unconventional relationship. It's very confusing for both of us. I know that I care about him and i know he cares about me but we don't really know what we're doing. We don't have any serious fights. We fight about how the potatos will be cooked for dinner and that turns into ww3.

He says he doesn't like to fight/debate but I swear to god he baits me into it. He plays devils advocate way too much to not enjoy arguing. Is this an aqua thing?

He never takes accountability for anythinggg. Is this an aqua thing too? It's like he has a mental list of excuses to absolve himself from everything. He runs through the list one by one. That one didn't work? Let me try this one. No? I got another one. It's maddening. This scares me because I'm afraid he's going to do something really bad and try to throw out these bs excuses. Do aquas have a strong moral compass of right and wrong? Or are they more YOLO/I do what I want?

He hates emotions. It's like a system malfunction and he shuts completely down. His exact words were "You know I hate communicating and emotions and you alwasy like doing it to me" 😆

I guess my overall question is.....

Is this a typical aqua relationship? I guess I would take comfort in knowing Aqua relationships are weird as shit and have no rhyme or reason and make absolutely no sense. Like half traditional but half unconventional...if that's even possible.

The relationship isn't abusive. We do love each other. But it's just...not normal. At all. lol. We don't want to leave it but we will fail if we tried to make it as a "normal couple".

Another thing I noticed with aqua relationships I've seen is that either the Aqua is completely oblivious to the relationship issues and they get blind sided by a breakup OR their partner is completely oblivious by the Aqua breaking up with them because Aqua never communicated any issues.

Do yall do that?

I feel like Aquas don't really require much in a relationship. Like loyalty and freedom basically. So either partner is super grateful and stays loyal to such a low maintenance partner or they are super resentful and cheat on Aqua and then Aqua says fuck that. Or Aquas partner thinks Aqua doesn't care and leaves the Aqua when the Aqua was just chilling.

I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

And I was defs the resentful type. I didn't cheat. But I had definitely gone through those I don't give crap phases. And funnily enough.. it was when I acted like I didn't care, that he would want me around again. He would turn cute and funny like the guy I fell for. So it was hard to leave. Exhaustinnnng!

I could relate to some of the things you are saying...and my Aqua is an ESTJ.

Is this the opposite of INFP? It's like Astrology trumping Myers Briggs 😄

Posted by Undine
I could relate to some of the things you are saying...and my Aqua is an ESTJ.

Is this the opposite of INFP? It's like Astrology trumping Myers Briggs 😄

Yeah, I can't ever really tell if it's personality or an aqua thing.

He is the one who pushed for this relationship. He was relentless. He'd been single for 6 years...most of his adult life and then he met me and bam, he wants to be official immediately. I KNOW that he has it in him to take the lead and go after what he wants. So then he reached a comfortable point in the relationship and dug his heels in and grew roots and he is not moving anywhere lol. And I know it's partly because we are both leary of this relationship because of the bickering but we are never going to know what the outcome will be if we don't move forward. I just don't feel like the relationship has progressed any in a year. I know a year isn't a long time at all but how long is a year in Aqua time? lol.

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

click to expand

I understand that. I always had thought my aqua relationship was supposed to be a learning experience for me too. He did teach me a lot. I've learned how to reign my emotions in a lot better from it. But I did need more attention and it got harder as time went on. It might sound selfish but it is what it is. :/

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

I understand that. I always had thought my aqua relationship was supposed to be a learning experience for me too. He did teach me a lot. I've learned how to reign my emotions in a lot better from it. But I did need more attention and it got harder as time went on. It might sound selfish but it is what it is. :/

click to expand

Of course. I didn't mean to imply you did anything wrong by leaving a situation that didn't make you happy. If it sounded that way. Not selfish at all.

I want more attention too sometimes

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

I understand that. I always had thought my aqua relationship was supposed to be a learning experience for me too. He did teach me a lot. I've learned how to reign my emotions in a lot better from it. But I did need more attention and it got harder as time went on. It might sound selfish but it is what it is. :/

Of course. I didn't mean to imply you did anything wrong by leaving a situation that didn't make you happy. If it sounded that way. Not selfish at all.

I want more attention too sometimes

click to expand

No I was just trying to not sound selfish. Because you sounded so selfless haha. I understand your resentments though. I had the same thoughts when it was all going down. I love Aquarius boys but hate them all at once!! Lol

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

I understand that. I always had thought my aqua relationship was supposed to be a learning experience for me too. He did teach me a lot. I've learned how to reign my emotions in a lot better from it. But I did need more attention and it got harder as time went on. It might sound selfish but it is what it is. :/

Of course. I didn't mean to imply you did anything wrong by leaving a situation that didn't make you happy. If it sounded that way. Not selfish at all.

I want more attention too sometimes

No I was just trying to not sound selfish. Because you sounded so selfless haha. I understand your resentments though. I had the same thoughts when it was all going down. I love Aquarius boys but hate them all at once!! Lol

click to expand

He's a brat for sure. And he knows it. I think that's why he's so forgiving of me flipping out, because he knows he's a pain in the ass sometimes.

Posted by AriSaturn
Is this a typical aqua relationship? I guess I would take comfort in knowing Aqua relationships are weird as shit and have no rhyme or reason and make absolutely no sense. Like half traditional but half unconventional...if that's even possible.

The relationship isn't abusive. We do love each other. But it's just...not normal. At all. lol. We don't want to leave it but we will fail if we tried to make it as a "normal couple".

^^this, hands down!

What's "normal" to the spider, is NOT "normal" to the fly.

Lol! Just enjoy the ride. 🙂

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop

Posted by AriSaturn

Posted by clippityclop
I resonate on so many levels with what you're saying. I dated an aqua for seven years on and off. Our moons were conjunct, only off by one degree. So we understood eachother in some ways. But he was way too aqua for me. Just didn't seem like he cared.. I know he did in his own way. But not in the way I would have liked for him to express. :/

Yeah, I definitely understand that. I think that is one of my life lessons though. I may not get the love I want from people but I have to learn to appreciate the love they are capable of giving.

He is Aqua sun and venus so he appears extremely detached most of the time...but I do know how to push his buttons to open up the emotional flood gates. He hates it though so I try not to do it.

I understand that. I always had thought my aqua relationship was supposed to be a learning experience for me too. He did teach me a lot. I've learned how to reign my emotions in a lot better from it. But I did need more attention and it got harder as time went on. It might sound selfish but it is what it is. :/

Of course. I didn't mean to imply you did anything wrong by leaving a situation that didn't make you happy. If it sounded that way. Not selfish at all.

I want more attention too sometimes

No I was just trying to not sound selfish. Because you sounded so selfless haha. I understand your resentments though. I had the same thoughts when it was all going down. I love Aquarius boys but hate them all at once!! Lol

He's a brat for sure. And he knows it. I think that's why he's so forgiving of me flipping out, because he knows he's a pain in the ass sometimes.

click to expand

Yeah. Aquas are oddly patient with freak outs. But sometimes I just wanted a reaction.

Posted by bumboklatt

Posted by AriSaturn
Another thing I noticed with aqua relationships I've seen is that either the Aqua is completely oblivious to the relationship issues and they get blind sided by a breakup OR their partner is completely oblivious by the Aqua breaking up with them because Aqua never communicated any issues.

Do yall do that?

I feel like Aquas don't really require much in a relationship. Like loyalty and freedom basically. So either partner is super grateful and stays loyal to such a low maintenance partner or they are super resentful and cheat on Aqua and then Aqua says fuck that. Or Aquas partner thinks Aqua doesn't care and leaves the Aqua when the Aqua was just chilling.

Yeah you know what I think makes it difficult for anyone to be with an Aqua is that we are too simple.

We don't really need anything from our partner.

We kinda use them to reflect on ourselves and our place among humans.

The opposite of LEO (takes praise well) AQUA doesn't understand praise.

Its so tough to define fixed air, its like the air we breathe its always there but it doesn't really do anything lol

We are attracted to unconventional relationships and we like to keep our partner on their toes to keep things interesting. This is what drives away most Water/Earth signs

We are not oblivious to relationship issues. We can spot them but we just cant do anything about it cause that would require us to change and be influenced(go against our nature). We dont like to be influenced, it gives us chills.

We don't like to sacrifice cause thats a weakness to us. We just work with what we see as positive. It's hard for us to acknowledge negativity unless its in the form of emotions or restrictions.

We rather just be bizarre and not make connections than live a comfortable loving life lol

So in conclusion he doesent sounds too far off from a "typical" Aqua.

We are actually pretty humane, loyal and loving apart from the weirdness.

It's just that we dont adhere to rules, we just live with a subconscious of right and wrong

If you can be yourself and he is mature enough for a relationship, and shows loyalty then he will love just like any other human being

Just make sure you can keep up with the sudden changes and weirdness, cause you CANT CHANGE an AQUA

click to expand

All of this made me chuckle so much. "Fixed air is just there and doesn't do anything" 😆 😆 😆

I totally get not being influenced or changing but what about evolving and maturing as a person? Does Aqua not believe in personal growth? On their own terms of course. But the fire in me cannot remain stagnant forever. Doesn't aqua get as bored as aries gets? I can play reverse psychology on him and it works. lol.

Sorry. My thoughts seem random and broken up. About the reverse psychology. If I take something off the table completely, he wants it or he shows interest in having it. But if I request something....it triggers something in him to fight it because it wasn't his idea. So I have to make him think everything is his idea lol

Posted by bumboklatt
@AriSaturn



so just dont rely on an Aqua for too much of anything lol

This.

If I could break a relationship with Aqua down to its most basic parts, it would be:

Be self sufficient

Be loyal

Be understanding

Be "in the moment"

Be patient

Be consistent with your actions

Be flexible with theirs

If you can't do those things or don't want to learn to do them, might as well cut losses.

That's not my advice to you specifically, just in general.

I don't see anything that you mentioned as being something that I haven't experienced at one point or another.

Posted by AriSaturn
Is this a typical aqua relationship? I guess I would take comfort in knowing Aqua relationships are weird as shit and have no rhyme or reason and make absolutely no sense. Like half traditional but half unconventional...if that's even possible.

The relationship isn't abusive. We do love each other. But it's just...not normal. At all. lol. We don't want to leave it but we will fail if we tried to make it as a "normal couple".

Sounds similar to my Aqua.

He has a very traditional sense of gender roles and what it means to be a man, especially in terms of our relationship. It's defined and unchangeable in his head.

On the other hand he says and does things to be shocking, he'll play devil's advocate to intellectual ideas we discuss, and he is rebellious and unpredictable. Kinda the total opposite to the husband coming work from work at 6pm everyday for dinner.

I had a REALLY hard time with not making plans in the beginning because I LOVE plans and they make me feel comfortable. He rebelled any time he felt like I was managing him or boxing him in.

So I just started "dropping a bug" in his ear about things I wanted do, thought were cool or was excited about and asked him if he wanted do it with me. Suddenly he was a super efficient planning machine- picking dates, scheduling times, etc.

I do my own thing and he does his.

He seems to require more mental maintenance/ stimulation than anything else.

Posted by bumboklatt

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by bumboklatt
@AriSaturn



so just dont rely on an Aqua for too much of anything lol

This.

If I could break a relationship with Aqua down to its most basic parts, it would be:

Be self sufficient

Be loyal

Be understanding

Be "in the moment"

Be patient

Be consistent with your actions

Be flexible with theirs

If you can't do those things or don't want to learn to do them, might as well cut losses.

That's not my advice to you specifically, just in general.

I don't see anything that you mentioned as being something that I haven't experienced at one point or another.

yeah thats true

you know the best way I can understand myself is just to look at LEOs (hence me referencing them often)

It's like our mirror or reference point. We are everything opposite.

You guys are full of life and shine and we are virtually non existant and have no feelings but I guess thats what makes us "pure" in a sense

click to expand

I suppose 🙂

I notice that we help you to focus more on yourselves or to think more in terms of "how will x affect me or those I love" as opposed to always thinking about the other or group. And you do the opposite for us.

I go rounds with mine about the way he runs his business; in fact we just got into it about a job that he doesn't want to charge more for, for extra work he has to do that was unknown by him or his customer when they agreed to a price.

I'm telling him he has to charge, he doesn't see how he can--because they AGREED to a price before knowing all the info.

He walked off because neither one of us understands the perspective of the other.

But as I've gotten to know him better over the years, we're not that different. It's just the way way see the same thing is different, or the way to solve a problem and why it should be solved.

I've asked him too of he thinks we have a weird relationship (it's weird) and he says not at all. He'd rather have the kind of relationship that we have as opposed to people who have conventional relationships but can't stand to be around each other.

Posted by bumboklatt
@AriSaturn

Yeah we are human lol

We're just so stubborn, probably more than Taurus cause there is no substance to our stubbornness.... its just there. We don't even know how to play it down either.

We do get bored but not at regular things like: being stagnant, being immature, lacking real friends etc

because our mind does not operate on an earthly plane. We know were doing right or wrong, BUT we just don't know how to fix it to where it works on earth(real life) Kinda like LEOS pride never gets satisfied

well our ideas never get satisfied they're often impractical. we live in our world of ideas

As far as reverse psychology: it can work for a while but eventually we focus on why someone is playing reverse psychology and it confuses us

so just dont rely on an Aqua for too much of anything lol

my dad.

lmao

god love him

To start Aqua's are having mercury retro in your 7th house of relationship. If you take the sun and make that sign the first house like a rising that is how it becomes your 7th house. Although you have a personal chart this still does not change when you position the Sun as the first house.

I hate to tell you this but just based purely on astrology you need to settle out major issues and forward direction or end it.

PM

Posted by bumboklatt
@AriSaturn

Yeah we are human lol

We're just so stubborn, probably more than Taurus cause there is no substance to our stubbornness.

You are a Taurus risngs... that is a powerful placement so yes it adds to Stubborness and is more then an Aqua... your capricorn earth placements only back that up further.

PM

Posted by AriSaturn
Is this a typical aqua relationship? I guess I would take comfort in knowing Aqua relationships are weird as shit and have no rhyme or reason and make absolutely no sense. Like half traditional but half unconventional...if that's even possible.

Sounds about right! Lol I know that doesn't help but yes my relationships are like that- half traditional, half unconventional, okay maybe more than half unconventional. We are freedom loving, emotional unemotive, crazy mofos. Lol

😆

Posted by piscesmoon2
To start Aqua's are having mercury retro in your 7th house of relationship. If you take the sun and make that sign the first house like a rising that is how it becomes your 7th house. Although you have a personal chart this still does not change when you position the Sun as the first house.

I hate to tell you this but just based purely on astrology you need to settle out major issues and forward direction or end it.

PM

Can you explain?

His mercury is in cap and that's not in my 7th house. And mercury is not currently in aqua or currently retrograde.

So I'm confused? lol.

I think I remember you having experience with Aquas though.

Posted by piscesmoon2
To start Aqua's are having mercury retro in your 7th house of relationship. If you take the sun and make that sign the first house like a rising that is how it becomes your 7th house. Although you have a personal chart this still does not change when you position the Sun as the first house.

I hate to tell you this but just based purely on astrology you need to settle out major issues and forward direction or end it.

PM

I figured it out. He has virgo in the 7th house and virgo mercury is getting ready to go retrograde. That being said we don't really have any major issues.

I've learned just from past relationships that it's not good to make decisions during mercury retrograde. If merc rx creates havoc and brings forward the truth of the state of our relationship then all the more power...that's actually what I've been looking for.