Posted by 7thHouseDamn...I thought you were a Libra!
Nothing too intense for aquas please. It's the quickest way to turn us off.
Posted by AquarelleLike your opinion! Yes, I got the feeling that WE are too intense. She started it 3-4 months ago and yes, it was too intense for me too. Asked her at some point if she feels its too intense, she said she likes it intense. But probably wasn’t true, or not at that moment. Yes, she usually doesn’t know what she wants in life, she's been telling me all the time that she wants to change her job, but I don’t think she actually does something about it, or knows what she wants for sure. I know what I want, told her what my professional future looks like for me. Sometimes I get the feeling that she feels envy at me )) – told me that she sees stability with me.
Are you still dealing with her?
You could be too intense for her. If someone affects me on a deep emotional level, my first reaction is to run away. Scared of getting in too deep and losing my freedom. Especially if I don't know what I want with my life or if the other person moves too fast.
I have a feeling you are not understanding what she is saying. Seems like you constantly want reassurance from her, knowing where you stand, and so on. To me that sounds a bit pushy, which makes her retreat. If someone would ask me that all the time, and I still have to make up my mind, I would either lie to keep the peace, brush you off or withdraw.
She's afraid of losing her freedom because of the way you act.
Also, you keep complaining about her, you expect her to lead the relationship and reassure you all the time. You can't expect her to do that, you need to have enough self esteem to know what you want. Nobody wants to have deep emotional conversations all the time, it's draining. Don't expect her to be something she isn't. If you want deep feelings, try a Scorpio.
Posted by poeticseraphimMine has Libra rising )Posted by UndinePosted by 7thHouse
Nothing too intense for aquas please. It's the quickest way to turn us off.
Damn...I thought you were a Libra!
Leebs can seem very Aqua like to me sometimes.click to expand
Posted by poeticseraphimPosted by AquarellePosted by Undine
Shows deep feelings=pays you lip service
It's probably for a reason
This is true.
But you see damaged people often operate on a level that needs an immediate motivation and focus.
She is damaged can't from long attachments doesn't trust and is scared.
What kind of person does that turn you into?
One that uses shallow fantasy to connect briefly to someone to get them to do something or talk to them for a while.
'I love you' = join me in this shallow fantasy if you do your reward is you feeling good for a moment. And maybe you will do something for me.
Its not her fault she is this way. But she is this way. And she is playing with the OP.
She probably puts it down to being fun and unpredictable. Really its broken and manipulative.
OP don't be nasty with her. She is probably fragile.
I would just humour her. Every time she says i love you ...just go i love you too. But its just like two 5 yr olds playing house. So keep it that way.
She doesn't mean to be nasty. She can't help it. Don't let her drain you though.
She is afraid of losing her freedom. But she doesn't know how to protect it either. Anyone who says i love you without being ready ..gets trapped easily.. Which means she is someone who gets trapped easily and is fragile..
She is probably an abuser magnet.
Since you are not an abuser ....you probably make her feel more trapped.
Yes she is rationalizing she doesn't want this ..but she is also feeling she doesn't want this also.
She is fantasizing she does. Briefly. Its not real. Its just a game ...not in a manipulative way ...but like a playing house kind of a way.
Its sad really. Be gentle with yourself and her.
She will keep on doing this.
Play with her ...but don't let it drain you.
She's not the one.click to expand
Posted by AquarellePosted by BAVPosted by Aquarelle
Are you still dealing with her?
You could be too intense for her. If someone affects me on a deep emotional level, my first reaction is to run away. Scared of getting in too deep and losing my freedom. Especially if I don't know what I want with my life or if the other person moves too fast.
I have a feeling you are not understanding what she is saying. Seems like you constantly want reassurance from her, knowing where you stand, and so on. To me that sounds a bit pushy, which makes her retreat. If someone would ask me that all the time, and I still have to make up my mind, I would either lie to keep the peace, brush you off or withdraw.
She's afraid of losing her freedom because of the way you act.
Also, you keep complaining about her, you expect her to lead the relationship and reassure you all the time. You can't expect her to do that, you need to have enough self esteem to know what you want. Nobody wants to have deep emotional conversations all the time, it's draining. Don't expect her to be something she isn't. If you want deep feelings, try a Scorpio.
Like your opinion! Yes, I got the feeling that WE are too intense. She started it 3-4 months ago and yes, it was too intense for me too. Asked her at some point if she feels its too intense, she said she likes it intense. But probably wasn’t true, or not at that moment. Yes, she usually doesn’t know what she wants in life, she's been telling me all the time that she wants to change her job, but I don’t think she actually does something about it, or knows what she wants for sure. I know what I want, told her what my professional future looks like for me. Sometimes I get the feeling that she feels envy at me )) – told me that she sees stability with me.
What do you mean I don’t understand what she is saying? I know she loves me in her [damaged] way. I don’t want reassurance all the time, just for her to be more constant. I never asked her stuff like do you miss me, do you still love me. Never, that’s needy. We, both of us, used to say I love yous randomly, or not, and replied to each other the same. I admit, at times, I remind her that I want something more, like moving together. She used to say that we will see together how we proceed next or, that she wants it too. 3 months ago she was inundating my whatsapp with links to properties for us to move in! At one point I've told her that I don’t want to jump from one relationship to another in a matter of days (I had just broken it with my ex). After a month Aqua told me that that line was a big turn off for her. But wtf, what do you want, I was just out from a 2 year relationship?!
I don’t want either to have deep emotional convos all the time!! I am not like this! Yes, probably we both feel they are deep as they are not constant. They appear from time to time and when they do, very intense... I don’t need constant reassurance, all I want is normal small talk, but I am inclined probably for more than she is used to. That I admit. Constant communication.
What I meant is that I get the feeling you two communicate on different levels.
How about her child? She has a child, right? And one of you wanted to leave the country if I remember correctly.
Those are not small things.click to expand