Appreciation

Aquas, how would you like your significant other to show you/tell you they appreciate you?
What would make you feel all fuzzy inside? What actions/words would ring false? Basically, what makes you feel really appreciated by your partner?

I tell him quite often (not too much) that I appreciate him and I always say thank you when he does something for me (like open doors, etc). I will pick up the tab occasionally or get him a little gift of something he may like. Are there any other ways or things I can do so he knows I appreciate him, who he is and what he does?

Also, on the other end of the spectrum, how do you show/tell your significant other how you appreciate them?

Hey Feby! 🙂

I think he likes complements too. Especially when it's unexpected. I see the eyes light up, the grin flash across his face. It goes quick, there and gone in a flash, gotta be looking to see it, but I can tell he likes it.

I don't require much in the way of appreciation, all that's essential is 'you' and 'being with you' and 'taking care of you'. There's pros and cons in that of course and not like I'll get all upset if someone gifts me or takes me out.

As for showing it, that'll depend on the girl and what they like.

My 2 primary love languages (how I receive love) are quality time and words of affirmation.

Everybody in the world is so busy, so distracted & so juggling of a million things/people at once. There's nothing like my partner just tuning everybody out, turning off their phone, looking me in the eye & giving me their undivided attention.

When my husband puts in the extra effort/time to do something that may make me happy, but that may be inconvenient to him, I know I'm being appreciated.

Him doing/saying the little things melts my heart every time =)
-Taking 2 seconds out of his day to tell me he loves me in the middle of a business meeting or while he's out with his friends (he could've just waited until he got home, but he made sure to affirm to me through actions that I was on his mind by simply contacting me vs. literally saying it it in a text message or once he got home

-Waking up to help me do something even if he's bat-sh****t tired. Helping me cook. Helping me with the kids. Filling up my gas tank unexpectedly even though I never asked him to. Talking about how special I am to his family/friends while I'm near and can hear it. Not being a stiff smooth-talker & actually looking me in the eye & physically touching me when he's saying something sweet to me (Some guys may shout that they love you across the room & that's fine, but it's so much sweeter when my man stops what he's doing, walks over to me & tells me he loves me in my ear.

I guess all of my examples come down to my man doing things even when they are inconvenient to him or making our exchange of words personal. Communication that is heartfelt & directly in my face vs. texting each other everything or choosing to give affirmation in writing while we're both at a distance from each other.

Quality time.

Any time he notices the small things that I know men may not care about b/c they're men & aren't as keen to detail like women are, it melts my heart lol For example: "Babe, I love how that outfit looks on you. The coordination is the sh***t!" or "Damn babe, I noticed you put a little bit more zing in the food tonight. I loved it!" instead of just giving the usual, "Thanks for dinner babe." lol Ya know, stuff like that!

Those extra little words/adjectives make a huge difference!

my husband spoils me alot so it's hard to find a certain thing that would please me cause he honestly pleases me everyday. I know that sounds so damn corny, but i can't help but say that cause it's true. I mean when he used to woo me, he'd make some really creative and beautiful things for me. Like he'd put together some of his favourite songs and put them in a cd, have a book of written short works from him and engrave them in my name. So many gorgeous things he's done for me. the only thing i can do to appreciate him is worship him at his feet, because he's so yummylicious!!! 😄
his ACTIONS alone show me how much he loves me and I LOVE that!!

desire....that's what he makes me feel:

I show my love in return with lots of compliments. Especially on the things that I can tell he's not used to anyone noticing. When he's got a new haircut, I'll tell him it looks nice, even if he's gotten the same hair cut 1,000 times.

Sometimes Aquas get on people's nerves b/c of our ability to notice/observe/analyze everything, but when it comes to showing appreciation or acknowledgment of a good thing, suddenly folks like that we notice the little things lol b/c you never know when your compliment touched on a subject that they may have been insecure about. You never know when 1 small acknowledgement was exactly what someone needed to hear in the moment even if they never gave you hints that they needed to hear it.

I use words like "I respect you" & "I appreciate you" b/c men have a huge need to feel & know that they're respected above anything else. Sometimes using those exact words mean much more than simply saying "Thank you," just like how using cute nicknames that are personal or words like "beautiful" instead of "you look nice" to a woman sometimes penetrate further into the heart & add extra melt to the heart lol

I do cook dinner for our family most nights, but when I'm off or have my lazy days, I may still whip something up in the kitchen, put it in tupperware & give him to take to work. Men love being surprised (vs. constantly expecting something b/c they're used to it) with food.

I'm always thanking him for even the smallest things 1. To inspire him to keep doing them lol (positive reinforcement) AND 2. B/c I know that to a man, there's nothing better than having a woman that acknowledges what other women may take for granted (doors being opened, a man running her bath water, a man paying the bills, or doing anything that some women automatically feel a man SHOULD do, thus rarely giving him praise for it, after all, b/c he should already be doing those things), if that makes sense.

^^ wow krys that's ALOT. wayyyy tooo shy & lacking words to even list. my contentment & bliss is more than enough 😆
i love that it's not always fluffy that's all i have to say. 😆

Thanks yall. Quite helpful and reinforces I'm on the right track.

My exhusband always told me I acted too independent and it seemed like I didn't need him or appreciate him (cancer moon). It kind of hit a nerve and I realized he was probably right. The ex never appreciated my independent side. The aqua tells me all the time he likes my independence, but I want him to know I need him and how much I appreciate him. Trying to learn from what the ex said, and don't want to repeat the same mistakes.

Posted by xvll27
I can't focus on one thread right now why my favorite people are popping up from every where

Hello
True cap How you doing Sis 🙂

Hey lil bro! Hope your week is going well. 🙂

-Compliments are good. I usually feel like when I do things that they are done well or at least satisfactorily but it's nice to be told when I actually do things well. (Perfectionist problems)

-Engaging me with my ideas on a deep level is very nice too. And, showing that you genuinely enjoy thinking about the ideas. It's very rare to find anyone thats willing to think about things abstractly and use their brain. Whether it's to prove me right or wrong about my particular line of thought at the time.

-Willingly being submissive without drama, mind games, or control battles. I mean I like independent take charge women but I don't like a condescending twit either. I am only one Aqua but for me I think I like a women that can be both. A women who can challenge me and she knows it but has the heart and love to still respect me is very attractive and usually makes me feel appreciated.

-And, basically doing everything you've already said.

Posted by truecap
Thanks yall. Quite helpful and reinforces I'm on the right track.

My exhusband always told me I acted too independent and it seemed like I didn't need him or appreciate him (cancer moon). It kind of hit a nerve and I realized he was probably right. The ex never appreciated my independent side. The aqua tells me all the time he likes my independence, but I want him to know I need him and how much I appreciate him. Trying to learn from what the ex said, and don't want to repeat the same mistakes.

That's awesome that you're willing to look within yourself to make sure that another man doesn't feel unappreciated, even if you technically did all you could do the 1st go round lol Perception is reality though. Sometimes a woman may think she's holding it down w/o even knowing that her man isn't giving her nearly as much credit as she's giving herself lol

Keep in mind though that you can't give what you don't have. I'm sure it wouldn't kill ya to go the extra mile every blue moon, but if pleasing him gets to the point that you feel that you'd have to be a new/another woman just to pull it off, then perhaps it would be time for him to consider that you have your own separate love language that may be different than his.

And that's ok. 2 people don't have to have the same love language to have a fulfilling & healthy relationship. They just have to be aware of the other's language & compromise accordingly when it's necessary. i.e. doing it for any other reason other than feeling obligated to do it.

Aquas love words & dialogue when it comes to anything logical. They're good at giving others a handful. But sometimes it's not as easy for them to use the art of language when trying to convey an emotional interest in you. Nonetheless, words have a big impact (both ways) on a logical level, so it's pretty fair to assume that it's just as magical when someone uses dialogue/words to convey romantic/appreciative interest to them in return.

Good luck :-)

Posted by smellycat
nobody mentioned sex :/ !!!

*insert evil smiley* lol

the very best.