Aqua Ex ?

My Aquarius ex and I grew up together. I was friends with his sister-we met in preschool. Our families live on the same street and have even attended family functions together-weddings, etc.
At one point I ran into my ex (we were not dating at that time) at the resturaunt where he worked. He gave me his phone number (I thought he was still with his GF at the time) and I never called him.
I guess it wasn't time for us.
Even though we didn't date at that time-I always felt a HEAT go through my whole body. From my head to my toes whenever he physically made contact with me. A hug, a brush of the shoulder.
Needless to say we did end up getting together but we both brought too much baggage into the relationship. (He had just bought a business, still had an ex lingering around. I had emotional baggage, low self esteem.)
And me not knowing how an Aquarius man is, when he broke up with me the first time, I went nuts!!
In the end I betrayed him big time.
I did, however, correct my mistake and even apologized to him, on many occasions.
We tried to get back together almost 9 months later, at least that is what I thought, till he started saying it wasn't going to work.
I left him at this point. I could not do this, AGAIN, and even though I left, I felt...like I was losing my soulmate.
We did not speak really for a year, and just recently, we spoke to eachother.
I went over to his house, we talked, and it was as if I was seeing him and he was seeing me in a new light. That night, we had sex.
I went again to his house and asked him for his phone number, to which he gave me.
We discussed at that conversation about having a bc thing going on type thing. We both agreed.
He sent me a text every day since he gave me his new number, to which I would reply or not, depending on what I was doing at that time.
This past Sunday I sent him a text asking if we were doing this bc thing or not? To text whenever one of us had the need?
He said, "I actually cannot do this. I thought I could but I can't. Take Care."
I sent, "Can I ask why?"
His reply (which damn near broke my HEART, yet again, "I think I am in love with someone, and its not you. I can't do that to her. I am sorry."

Can someone please explain to me what he means by this? And if you are an Aquarius it would be even more helpful. 🙂

Of all I know about Aquariuses and love, this makes no sense to me...

If you have additional questions do not hesitate to ask!
Thanks!

what do you want it to mean sweetie? it is what it is...its the flat out truth. i read your post 5x and im not sure..if you noticed but...you've developed a pattern of talking greatly about each other and then taking away the greatness to nothingness. im going to help you dissect what is the problem but separating your feelings and the other parts.

take away the negative and all i see is this:

My Aquarius ex and I grew up together. I was friends with his sister-we met in preschool. Our families live on the same street and have even attended family functions together-weddings, etc. Even though we didn't date at that time-I always felt a HEAT go through my whole body. From my head to my toes whenever he physically made contact with me. A hug, a brush of the shoulder.I did, however, correct my mistake and even apologized to him. We tried to get back together almost 9 months later,
I felt...like I was losing my soul-mate. I went over to his house, we talked, and it was as if I was seeing him and he was seeing me in a new light. He sent me a text every day since he gave me his new number.

At one point I ran into my ex (we were not dating at that time) at the resturaunt where he worked. He gave me his phone number (I thought he was still with his GF at the time) and I never called him.
I guess it wasn't time for us.Needless to say we did end up getting together but we both brought too much baggage into the relationship. (He had just bought a business, still had an ex lingering around. I had emotional baggage, low self esteem.)And me not knowing how an Aquarius man is, when he broke up with me the first time, I went nuts!! In the end I betrayed him big time.I could not do this, AGAIN,We did not speak really for a year. This past Sunday I sent him a text asking if we were doing this bc thing or not? To text whenever one of us had the need?

i dont know if you notice. but im pretttttty sure i wouldn't want someone who doesnt know how to articulate what they want and need and what is the REAL problem. The real problem is your inabiilty to take responsibility for your part of the relationship. and by even asking for a BC relationship is to just be asked NOT to be taken seriously of. its putting yourself and him into this "friends but not friends...ex lovers but lovers but not...SLASH/ sex buddies but not" type of deal. having to be neither one or the other is the most frustrating and dangerous things to be a part of. ANd who are we kidding here? you cann

you can't tell us that you dont mind being in that position with the way your feel for him. look above^^^ first of all you correlated every positive emotion with a negative one ...those negative statements not only show a lot of who you are but it also shows how much things WILL BE THE SAME. you still have those problems and he still has his. and i feel that is the main reason why he is so easy to dismiss you. You haven't given him much reason to want to skip out on other girls. I know you must have many great traits so please dont take this too personally. just a matter of fact.

if you guys did grow up together and have such a mutual natural unspoken bond..then why all the games? on both ends? and answer this "DID HE REALLY HAVE GIRLFRIEND?" your negative tone "i guess it wasn't time for us" a lot of your responses of negative feelings are unsure and second guess yourself.. when really you have the answer

it is that because you guys had so much history and so much magnetic connection you keep going to him. And same for him. but it is also easy to be drawn to each other when BOTH of you guys seem to share the same misery: confusion and lack of esteem. and misery loves company. but whether or not you guys should be together is a different story...i've always believed that people can love MULTIPLE people and not just one forever and ever. ...sweetie at this point what im trying to say is that if you love him then fight for him and give it 100 fair chance. talk openly on the positive feelings...

when you asked this board "what does he mean?" i feel its just your way of saying " i cannot believe it...i cannot accept"
you know what it means..but something in you feels its not true. then go find out what is the deal!you cannot believe what he just said..then you better go find out why. for if this is someone your serious about then what is holding back?

first off..text him "hey...your right i don't want that type of relationship..who am i kidding? i've always loved you and despite our flaws..i love you for those as well. " then play the game "your right its best we don't bother fighting for love for you love someone else. I'll respect your feelings." This is a risky text but its a text that achieves what you need...option 1) to move on. which either way you have to do if you dont send the text.

So you think I am not owning up to my part of the relationship? It is actually quite the opposite.
I proposed the BC thing 1.) Because that is how I saw him (even though I still have feelings for him) 2.) Our sex/love making is OUT OF THIS WORLD!
When we got together that night he did tell me he didn't want to do it, just for the simple fact that he didn't want me to think it was something else IE: him loving me again.
I know that using sex as a bargaiing chip is not going to work, and I respect his desicion to leave him be with "the girl he thinks hes in love with."
My frustration comes in because it seemed as if things were normal again. That we could in fact BE friends.

Isn't that the epitome of what an Aquarius is all about?

2) it opens doors for a potential arguement that could reflect his feelings and the real truth of it all.

you can either assume of all the possibilities or you can go try to validate them..and the validation doesnt need to come out of his mouth..you can see through the circmstances and actions of him and you. if all we know he i sjust saying that to NOT be in that situation in hopes to enforce you to want more. who knows. all we know is that as people we can only share ourselves rather define who we are in their light..share yourself. scared to get hurt? as if your not now. so i say at least do it right..if you try you have 50/50 if you dont you will fail for sure. at least there is a chance by being forthright with your emotions...

i feel tht aquas talk the talk and sometimes walk the walk but man we do play tons of games..not to fuck with the other person to find out the answers for whatever we are questioning. so what if he was questioning your geunine desire to be with him and lets say he wants someone serious. and so far because of the lack of showing him the real answers he sees a false you..someone who shouldnt be taken serious of and shouldn't trust. think about that. if your real we will be real. there is a reason that he wanted to contact you....but its up to you to find out..we can only speculate and most likely are nto as close to the truth than you are.

i hope what i wrote helps....its to help bring awareness ..i hope you also dont feel attacked! please let me know

yeah but i dont think your seeking out friendship with him. and he sees that. if you were really ok with just being friends he would be too. im not even kidding...we sense things that are the root of the problems and usually the other person wont till its over..and they look back.

have you guys had a talk about friendship and just being friends?

how about you tell me what you want out of the relationship? for yourself and for him? 🙂 maybe we can get somewhere...

Posted by Starfish225
"When we got together that night he did tell me he didn't want to do it, just for the simple fact that he didn't want me to think it was something else IE: him loving me again."


Thats your answer right there..


"Isn't that the epitome of what an Aquarius is all about?"

Yes but with conditions that it would not complicate things(i.e stir up feelings.)

Be honest with yourself girl, you know that friendship JUST friendship is not all you want. He told you where he is with this. Let him go if he is your soul mate and you guys are meant to be trust me he will come back around. Cause what I know when something is meant to be it will be. No other woman can take whats for you..

bingo.

Candi3bb and Starfish225-you both have similar but opposite takes on this.
You are both right though-I do love him!
Candi3bb-I should send a text?
And Starfish225 says to leave him alone. That he is offering just friends.
I am even more confused now-but what you both say makes ALOT of sense.

I want to be with him. Love him, in his good times and bad (as I have always done). To marry him someday (when he so chooses, LOL.) And to spend the rest of my life with him.
I do love him! I know that, and apparently he does to.
He just wants to be a FRIEND-and what you are both saying is he is calling me out on my BS?!?!?!

Starfish225-That is what I am doing. 🙂 After the harsh txt he sent me "I think I am in love....." It took me an hour to respond.
I sent, "AWWW that's cool. I hope it works out and if it doesn't, call me."
He replied, "Will do. Thanks for being cool."
He has NEVER told me I am cool! LOL.
Later that night (5 hrs later) he sent me a "Hey" text.
I didn't respond. I am letting him go.
He told me once, "If you loved me you'd let me go."

yes just be real about it dont let him go. that is all!

and if your scared? who cares either way if you dont try you get no chance ...fight for what is yours...yeah so what you guys made some mistakes..that is what you need to tell him. and through your response he may take weeks to respond or immediately but by putting yourself out there i feel he will grab that chance....if he really loved this "girl" he speaks of he wouldn't need you..but the fact he is still connecting is a good sign..he also is questioning.

just dont talk about marriage yet. just tell him what you said here...but refine it by this:

We grew up together... Our families live on the same street and have even attended family functions together-weddings, etc. (insert funny memories..also insert cue of waterworks)Even though we didn't date at that time-I always felt a HEAT go through my whole body. From my head to my toes whenever you physically made contact with me. A hug, a brush of the shoulder. I did, however, correct my mistake and even apologized to you..have you forgiven me yet? 😢. i know We tried to get back together at one point but i felt due to my betrayal it has caused you to be fickle.
I FEEL...like I lost my soul-mate..and more importantly my best friend.. I went over to your house, we talked, and it was as if we both saw each other in a new light..and im upset that we can't even jsut be friends again. i dont care what we are...as long as your positively in my life..and i want to know what i can do as a friend in your life..it takes work like any other friendship/relationship.

I had emotional baggage, low self esteem when you broke up with me the first time, I went nuts!! In the end I betrayed you the only person i wanted. im still very much punishing myself for it..but im ready to forgive myself for all of it as well and hope you have too.I cannot keep doing this coming back and forth thing we do... I want us to be able to come clean with our truest emotions and get on with it. the curiosity and the potential possibilities are endless we just need to put a stop to this whole confusion...do you feel the same for me? if not then who is this new girl? (because you want him in your life you should also be willing to bite your emotions and care of just him..)

your point is to only show him the new you the strong...positive...courageous you. and if he doesn ttkae it then yo have to realize its over and forget it.

i feel your hurting yourself seriously. hahahaha-_-sighs...alright over and out imma go start my day! later!

Starfish225- I guess at this point I am afraid to do so. He did tell me this as well, "That we are not on the same paths. If our roads cross again, they will. If not it's not meant to be."
He said that it is in God's hands (he found God again) and that we are just not meant to walk the same path. 😢 Prob with all of this is, I do not beleive him.

yea and they have crossed so many times. he is blind.

Candi3bb-We have crossed a time or two. LMAO! ?-Letter or txt to ask to meet in person? Thoughts?

😉 Thank you for your comments. If you have anything else to add, please feel free.

So much drama lol

But IMO it's over when a man says I love someone and it's not you

The good part about all this is if it's not over he'll come find you and fix it with you until then it's best to not settle for something less with him if you want him to see you as something worth fighting for later down the road and it's best to not continue to be his friend especially if you feel something beyond friendship. I agree with Star...Let go...Letting go isn't always the end but it lets him know you have dignity and self respect and you aren't going to be a doormat b/c your desperate to keep him in your life.

I'm sure you'll reconnect again but until then allow him the space to explore his feelings for this other woman, he said he "THINK" he is in love with someone, more than likely whatever he's feeling will wear off and he'll most likely seek you out again until then relax and get on with your life.

not everything is face note..i think collectively its how you handle it that will get what you want.

i think text...anything your write is fine..but his response will be your answer! it will show whether a he wants to move on. b if he responds and agreees you know he has interest left.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
I want to be with him. Love him, in his good times and bad (as I have always done). To marry him someday (when he so chooses, LOL.) And to spend the rest of my life with him.
I do love him! I know that, and apparently he does to.
He just wants to be a FRIEND-and what you are both saying is he is calling me out on my BS?!?!?!

Look, you've got a whole future planned with this guy already - but he's told you straight that he's in love with someone else.
He may love you, but it's not enough, us Aquas have to be IN love - and he's IN love with someone else. Any marriage, life together etc isn't going in your direction, it'll be in the direction of the woman he's in love with.

You said he didn't actually want to have sex with you in case you thought it was going to be something more. I'll translate this to you:

"I'll have sex with you because you're offering it on a plate - but I can tell you now I don't want anything more with you so don't even ask".

He's clearly got his emotions involved elsewhere, and she's probably a lovely woman too, so be a FRIEND like he asks and allow him the grace to explore his emotions with this other woman.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Starfish225- I guess at this point I am afraid to do so. He did tell me this as well, "That we are not on the same paths. If our roads cross again, they will. If not it's not meant to be."
He said that it is in God's hands (he found God again) and that we are just not meant to walk the same path. 😢 Prob with all of this is, I do not beleive him.

you don't want to believe him, that's your issue.

First time I'm GIVING advice. But I can tell u this much.. If an aqua says he's in love wih another woman, then trust me.. He's in loooove with her. And it'll take a lot to change bcuz they don't fall easily. I'd suggest to move on because no one appreciates a third person, and no one likes being that woman. If he is your soul mate, somehow, someway in divine timing.. He'll be back. Until now, respect that he loves a woman.

Thank you all very much for giving me your opinions on the topic!
I do have to say that I agree with Candi3bb advice. I actually did not get back onto the boards till this AM and did not see your post about sending a text! It was too late by that point!
I copy pasted your "letter" and delivered it to his house last night. I then received a text from him @ 10! LOL.
I asked if I could text him today, cuz it was late and he replied, "Yeh sure. No worries." I hopefully will ask about the letter and if he has thoughts.
Do you think this is a good sign—?
And any advice on this new conversation?? 🙂

The one thing that bothers me is this-he said he, "Thinks hes in love with someone else." Why sleep with me, text me in the am and pm, shoot the shit with me and how come not with HER? Where is she?? How come when I was by his house twice and asked if he was sleeping with/dating/ or in a relationship with anyone he told me no??

In my opinion she does not even exist and if she does, well, then I never knew him at all. 🙂

hahahah wait what? so what happened woman?

Hey Candi3bb!
I left the letter you wrote on his doorstep last night! And he sent me a txt at 10pm. LOL.
So I asked to txt him tonight. He said Yeh, sure no worries. So I am!
My thing now is I don't want to be all wishy washy, emotional, irrational and a mess! 🙂
Any tips—

Oh lord....I already know what's going to happen but I'm curious to watch how this pans out.

Somehow I don't think the advice that's actually going to help you is the advice you've read, understood, thought about and taken seriously.

I'll wait for your next threads to be

"Aqua man used me for sex"
"Aqua man is confusing"
"Aqua man no longer speaks to me".

Sigh...continue as you will, you're heading for a disaster.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Hey Candi3bb!
I left the letter you wrote on his doorstep last night! And he sent me a txt at 10pm. LOL.
So I asked to txt him tonight. He said Yeh, sure no worries. So I am!
My thing now is I don't want to be all wishy washy, emotional, irrational and a mess! 🙂
Any tips—

oh miss

i admire your will to be opened..but my whole advice with the convuluted examples is to do one thing: to make you realize the power you have. and your choices that could effect everything. no one on this board will no what to do. we can offer advice in what we THINK is the situation..and what is COULD be the solution....

i think at the end you need to use your own perception. you know him more thanw e do..and also lets add the fact we don't know every emotion and detail here.

i work in the film industry and it has been one hectic week...building website etc im so sorry i couldn't get there earlier...i think you need to embrace that you have your own wants and needs..ask yourself does he FIT you?

you've done the letter and you've called and texted. his response is clear. and from my previous advice...from there you know what to do..his response has answered several questions

a) is there really another girl?
b) is there still hope
c) is his comment just to test me
d) is HE someone i want?


the point is to learn to adapt with perception to any situation that arises...copying pasting my "quick example" is good idea but how about your point? what is your purpose? i dont think you added that in!...i can't tell you sweetie what that is...

he texted "what are we going to talk about?" but seriously....i can't answer that only you can..what is the point? and just tell him.

as people we can only do our best to portray ourselves...share ourselves...and if the other person doesnt take it...it is what it is 😢 i know sucks...my gemini and i are going through a rough patch...sometimes we just wanna choke life. so do it choke it ...but also learn to know to let go

i think im very happy that you've done the letter...it answered tons of questions lingering in your mind

now the next step is to figure out what you want who you are...and where your next destination could be..

everyone here has offered very valid and sound advice and opinions. but just like our closet we can pick and choose what we wear. ...we can pick and choose what idea we need

Everyone is right here! & ultimately the CHOICE is mine. And I have made it. I have not texted him since yesterday, and I am going to look at MYSELF and know these things:
I am a strong woman
I am a beautiful woman
I am a passionate woman
I am an emotional woman
I am a free woman
I am a blunt woman
I am a caring woman
I am a loving woman
I am WOMAN
There are many more to that mantra. 🙂 The thing is this. I put my cards out there. He can tell me what he wants till he is blue in the face, however, his actions say more. They always do with Aquas.
He texted me last night, and here is a new one for you all-I DID NOT text him back!
I can take what he says at face value, and for now, he says he is in love with someone else. Am I angry-No. Am I mad-No. Am I hurt-A little. Because the last 3 years have been the same song and dance from him.
And now, I want to dance to a different tune! 🙂

I cannot go of someone until i feel i've tried 100% towards that particular relationship be it just a bc or real relationship. But once i reach the point of no return i do what i say leave and wish them well.

I had someone i love ask me if i was moving cross the country to try to get him to purpose to me- i was very insulted but at that point i knew i was done with him and to remove any temptations i put several thousand miles of distance there as well

loving someone means i want the best for them be it with me or someone else

sometimes it better to move to a new area for a fresh exciting start hey i am so happy now

good luck

i meant i cannot let go of someone...can't get my words out fast enough

Pik-I can let go of someone, the problem arises when they come back. They always do! Every single one of my exes I have stated this to them when the relationship ended.
The Aqua in ? said he would not-however, he still does! This is why I cannot move on.
3 months ago I was moving along just fine. I was starting to heal, breathe again, see myself as ME again and then WHAM! He send me a text out of the blue. We talked, and now here we are again, the cycle repeating itself.
We have been going back and forth now for two weeks, and honestly at this point, I am at the point of no return. I have done all I can do.
I have thought about moving for months now. Months and months. I have a 12 year old son though, and I cannot, it would break my heart, to rip him from his school, friends, dad now since he is at a pressionable age. When he is 18-I am out of here!
I have already said this to my friends, family and to my coworkers. I need a new, fresh start. 🙂
Thank you for your post!

That makes sense :-) Definitely i wouldn't do that to my son either

Nikki you are absolutely gorgeous, a beautiful heart and men hate letting go of a good woman even if he doesn't want to be in your life for the long term, understanding this could help you move on and stay gone. None of the men that are coming back mean you any good for the long term the best thing you can do is don't break your stride when these assclowns come back into your life, put you first and ignore the coming back. If you sit back and look at how these guys coming back HOLD YOU BACK and how they effect your life you'd know to be more protective of yourself rather than jumping 100% back in only to feel dejected rejected and frustrated when he's cycling out of the relationship again and again and again.

You have to be the responsible one for stopping these toxic cycles...The men are attracted to you so they come back but they aren't attracted enough to be with you in a one on one longterm relationship and if you really let that sink in you'd be more protective of your heart rather than throwing your heart at men or at a man that can't do his part in being that guy for you. Some of these guys just like the excitement of the honeymoon and once that wears off they grow bored and they start the rejection process and they do this with many women not just one woman and once you understand this you'll be more determined to not allow this to happen to you again.

Move on...Change your number if you have to, delete these clowns from your social networks, cut them off and you'll feel so much better about yourself and your life. When these kind of guys chase you down it doesn't mean anything, they just want to know you are still available if he should change his mind about you, THAT SUCKS and that keeps you on hold. So put you first and stop doing that to yourself, go out and date and eventually you'll be in a new better relationship with a man that won't treat you like a doormat. The Aqua he's not a friend, friends don't reject and disappear out of your life only to come back and pretend to miss you for a couple of weeks then he's back to rejecting, friends stay..

He's jacking you around...Stop letting him

Hey sweetheart.... all i can say is where you went wrong you already told him why have the cow when you can have the milk for free.... saying why would he even be in a relationship with you if you are offering him everything and more without a title you offered sex in a heart beat ... now moving on when you said hope it works if it doesnt text me.... you are telling him you will be his doormat ..him saying thats for being cool is just saying ok....
now knowing me .. once someone tells me its not working out there is no me and you .. at first i would be so fine about it saying thank you so much i am done with this crazy shit .. but then down the road i will find someone else but when i do it could be a yeah and then i realize they are not nothing like the person i was with and then i look back at our time ... and start missing them ... i have clingy people and needy people Leave him dont text nothing .... at allllllllll

"Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action" (1 John:3:18)

the bible won't save you from a wash rinse repeat commitmentphobe, save yourself first and then maybe.

I just quoted it because it is a beautiful saying. 🙂

I am going to state this for the record-I came on this site to gain insight and to confirm the actions, saying, words, treatment of the Aqua male. No where did I say I was trying to "break up his relationship with his new woman" "be a third wheel" "be a meddler" or otherwise try to "ruin what he has since he has moved on."
Can you tell that to him?
I have taken all of your kind words, thoughts and opinions into consideration and I am not responding to his texts.
Yes, you read that right. He is STILL texting me. Even after he told me he could not do the bc thing and even after he told me he "thinks he is in love with someone else and it is not me."
As for meddling, he is the one meddling in my life now. As for being a third wheel, I have left him in my dust. As for trying to break up his relationship with his new girl, he is doing that all on his own.
If you do not want to be "updated" then DO NOT READ!!
Thanks! 🙂

Well you gave him a letter and you openly invited him in as a friend so why not text you. You instigate the text messaging and act as if it's a big deal that he's open to USING you as a friend, if you giveth he'll taketh. You were accused of meddling b/c AFTER he said he was in love with someone else you proceeded to chase him and chose not to believe he's into another woman so you wrote a letter and now he's trying to get sex with benefits b/c your ego wouldn't allow you to lose and let him go so you proceeded to take another's advice to chase him down and spill your guts about how you feel, so you've done that and he's text messaging (roll eyes). Get over yourself

Tiki, I will not "get over myself" because I know the man loves me. & I have let him go. Prob is he cant. Hes moved on? My ass. He "thinks" he loves her, my ass.
Fyi- whos chasing who now. Sure as hell isnt me! Lol. 🙂

You chased him down, sent him a letter and now he's the one that won't leave, of course he's going to text and text if he's being ignored, WHO LIKES TO BE IGNORED!! Stop the games okay, you aren't fooling anyone here with your shenanigan's. It doesn't matter if he love you, he's with someone else..Deal with that but you can't and you couldn't and you seem to be getting complete pleasure out of ignoring him, wow that's really true love on your part.

I could understand if you disappeared after he told you he was in love with someone else but you proceeded to chase him down, profess how much love him and want to be his friend, but look how your being, totally unfriendly by ignoring him, talk about LOSER behavior, you are being a complete asshole right now b/c it's all a game to you.

jesus i have to add how cruel you guys are. WE dont know the whole story. im could see how it would look but tiki* there are certain things that are necessary. she is ignoring him because for what purpose? to HURT HIM? you should get over YOURSELF READ YOUR OWN PROFILE effin cynical nutcase..talk about a SORE LOSER*period. she is ignoring him because she wants to move on . talk about double edge sword if she talks to him she is trying to meddle and if she doesnt she is playing a game? if anything your the one seems so confused..as if humans even yourself make and stick through decisions. emotions fluctuate. decision will as well.

get over it. society has games for a purpose. define games...first of all

no better yet how about you tell me what a GOOD person is. tell me..please im just dying to know! and i can almost gaurantee that the shit out of your mouth is gonna be anything that is "easy to say" honest. good hearted blah blah blah..


GOD!stop projecting your own trust issues on to her and own pains and disgust on to her. want to judge? anyone can easily look at your profile and make the following statements

a lost confused girl.
a girl with her shield up
a girl who is emotionally unhealthy.

who assumes the worst in people

but does it make it ALL true? no. why? because we don't know you. so save the drama.

so sue her if she is going back and forth on her own emotions. at least some people have a heart. im sorry we aren't built like robots.

how insulting. her intentions aren't even out to hurt him or ruin their relationship. annd if you disagree you could at least communicate it more effectively talking in such a judgmental way doesn't achieve anything.

why dont you go bash yourself for not being able to have any form of a healthy relationship (so as it seems)

Oh hush Candi...You gave her the dumb ass advice in the first place, she is just playing games given her approach, the letter itself wasn't the issue, it was her attitude that she was going to win him back despite being told point blank he was pursuing someone else...She wrote the stupid letter and now is ignoring him, HOW IMMATURE IS THAT, why not speak to the man after leaving him the dumb letter and this coming from a person who stated she wanted to be friends. She isn't moving on she is playing games.

I don't get this whole thing. Let me try to understand this. So you said you love him and believed he loves you. You sent him a letter to confess your deep feeling, then you ignored him when he contacted you? Am I right so far? I think even you don't play game, your behaviour is contradicted. I understand that you're confused and hurt as he seems not to reciprocate the same feeling as you do but this is not good for yourself either. Are you sure you don't even want a closure? At least let him say what needs to be said before you avoid him like this? Are you trying to ignite his interest in you romantically or something by disappearing on him? What the point of sending him a letter full of (unconditional) love and then adding conditions into it? Don't you think your behaviour if not intentionally game playing then at least confusing? Again, are you sure that you love this man unconditionally like you claim before? That whatever he chooses , you still wants to be his friend and everything?
I'm also very curious as why you're so sure that he loves you even after he says he loves someone else? What behaviour of his gives you such thoughts?
Calm down and listen to the voice inside you , maybe you will see clearer what is going on instead of getting annoyed at what the guy is doing. Look at your actions first. Take care.

exam you are partially right...He basically told her he couldn't do whatever it was they were doing anymore which was IMO a FWB relationship and told her "he think he's in love with someone else" so she held onto the part were he said he "THINK" and decided he must be lying and thus was advised through someone on DXP to spill her guts out in a letter and then after delivering the letter she proceeded to ignore his text messages. I mean who does that? The least she could do is talk to the guy via phone to ensure him she was serious and to contact her once he's available. Many of us suggested she take what he said at face value and move on yet instead she decided that he was lying about this other woman, put a letter on his doorstep after the fact and thus has been ignoring any of his efforts to speak to her directly. He's supposed to be her friend so the least she could do is treat him like a friend and give it a clean break. Had she not sent the letter I honestly don't think he would have talked to her again and maybe that was partially the motivating factor for doing what she did...dunno

correction...they have history together, year apart, then had sex once and after sex proceeded to text only for her to find out shortly after he's in love with someone else.

Thanks tiki33. Phew! What a confusing story for me. I guess that's why I can never do fwb. My simple brain simply can't take it. I guess others are better at adapting with rapid change in love relations' rules than me. If I ever get divorced, I sure look like a deer in the headlights when it comes to dating.

Posted by candi3bb
jesus i have to add how cruel you guys are. WE dont know the whole story. im could see how it would look but tiki* there are certain things that are necessary. she is ignoring him because for what purpose? to HURT HIM? you should get over YOURSELF READ YOUR OWN PROFILE effin cynical nutcase..talk about a SORE LOSER*period. she is ignoring him because she wants to move on . talk about double edge sword if she talks to him she is trying to meddle and if she doesnt she is playing a game? if anything your the one seems so confused..as if humans even yourself make and stick through decisions. emotions fluctuate. decision will as well.

get over it. society has games for a purpose. define games...first of all

no better yet how about you tell me what a GOOD person is. tell me..please im just dying to know! and i can almost gaurantee that the shit out of your mouth is gonna be anything that is "easy to say" honest. good hearted blah blah blah..


GOD!stop projecting your own trust issues on to her and own pains and disgust on to her. want to judge? anyone can easily look at your profile and make the following statements

a lost confused girl.
a girl with her shield up
a girl who is emotionally unhealthy.

who assumes the worst in people

but does it make it ALL true? no. why? because we don't know you. so save the drama.

so sue her if she is going back and forth on her own emotions. at least some people have a heart. im sorry we aren't built like robots.

how insulting. her intentions aren't even out to hurt him or ruin their relationship. annd if you disagree you could at least communicate it more effectively talking in such a judgmental way doesn't achieve anything.

why dont you go bash yourself for not being able to have any form of a healthy relationship (so as it seems)

First off I am going to commend Candi3bb for standing up for me! I tried to do it myself, in a nice way, and obviously that did not turn out!
This is a message board, is it not? Are you not supposed to commune together and receive advice outside other than what you are thinking or feeling yourself? Ultimately the decision is yours. And I have made mine.