Aqua female & her Virgo male...
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Help66 on Monday, February 6, 2006 and has 8 replies.
Please forgive me but I copied & pasted this message from the message I just posted on the Virgo board. I am an Aqua female in an intense friendship with a Virgo male, and here is my situation:
OK I am totally confused & need some advice, please.
My Virgo male & I have been seeing each other 7 months. We enjoy spending time together, and when we're not together we're always on the phone or e mailing. So I consider us very close friends. I know he confides in me & is very attracted to me.
In past months we always fool around naked but have always stopped at having sex. Last month on my B day was the closest we ever got to actual intercourse but we stopped, well I should say he did. I was completely frustrated & wanted to continue but did not want to make him feel uncomfortable so we just held each other & continued talking & teasing like we always do.
Last week when we had dinner, out of the blue, he says "well, I think we need to decide if we want to have sex or not." I said, well "I want to" & he said he did also, but he was very afraid of ruining things between us. He admitted if we ever stopped seeing each other he'd miss me & miss talking on the phone 2 hours a day lol.
I honestly did not know what to say. I don't want to ruin anything either but the attraction is there, big time. So we just sort of went on talking of other things like normal & I didn't bring it up again.
Ok, anyone advise here please - Is he just getting cold feet really, or does he really want to leave it at friendship? We are true friends. I know he confides in me & trusts me - he's tested me several times I know. And he does get jealous I've seen that also. Is he fighting his feelings or something?
I won't pressure him at all, I know how he is about being caged in & needing his space. Also I'm afraid sex will ruin a great friendship also.
Help - anyone?
Thanks!!
OK I am totally confused & need some advice, please.
My Virgo male & I have been seeing each other 7 months. We enjoy spending time together, and when we're not together we're always on the phone or e mailing. So I consider us very close friends. I know he confides in me & is very attracted to me.
In past months we always fool around naked but have always stopped at having sex. Last month on my B day was the closest we ever got to actual intercourse but we stopped, well I should say he did. I was completely frustrated & wanted to continue but did not want to make him feel uncomfortable so we just held each other & continued talking & teasing like we always do.
Last week when we had dinner, out of the blue, he says "well, I think we need to decide if we want to have sex or not." I said, well "I want to" & he said he did also, but he was very afraid of ruining things between us. He admitted if we ever stopped seeing each other he'd miss me & miss talking on the phone 2 hours a day lol.
I honestly did not know what to say. I don't want to ruin anything either but the attraction is there, big time. So we just sort of went on talking of other things like normal & I didn't bring it up again.
Ok, anyone advise here please - Is he just getting cold feet really, or does he really want to leave it at friendship? We are true friends. I know he confides in me & trusts me - he's tested me several times I know. And he does get jealous I've seen that also. Is he fighting his feelings or something?
I won't pressure him at all, I know how he is about being caged in & needing his space. Also I'm afraid sex will ruin a great friendship also.
Help - anyone?
Thanks!!
Ditto.
Friendship is more valuable than just getting laid. Why the hurry? Invest in the friendship and see if a relationship develops without the sex at first.
I don't think he has cold feet.. he probably asked to see where your mind is.
As to whether or not you should do it, I'd have to ask, is it just sex that you want, or do you want to be more? What I've noticed about men (virgos in particular), when they say you are a friend.. then you are a friend. If you want to be more, best to just be honest in the beginning- save you some grief later. If you're not sure- default to just being friends.... but here's something to consider, if you're "messing around", can you honestly say that what you have (what you want) is a friendship? If he met another person and became "friends" with them the way he is "friends" with you, would you still be contemplating having sex with him?
Sex can ruin a frienships faster than money, so don't do it if you just want to be friends. If you want to be more than friends, then I would talk to him about it.
As to whether or not you should do it, I'd have to ask, is it just sex that you want, or do you want to be more? What I've noticed about men (virgos in particular), when they say you are a friend.. then you are a friend. If you want to be more, best to just be honest in the beginning- save you some grief later. If you're not sure- default to just being friends.... but here's something to consider, if you're "messing around", can you honestly say that what you have (what you want) is a friendship? If he met another person and became "friends" with them the way he is "friends" with you, would you still be contemplating having sex with him?
Sex can ruin a frienships faster than money, so don't do it if you just want to be friends. If you want to be more than friends, then I would talk to him about it.
Very good comments Seize, but as you probably know, Virgo males are very hard to read, at least the one I know!!
I asked him flat out about a month ago when we were fooling around if he wanted to continue. I asked, should I still hold his hand, kiss him, & so on. He said "well, it's been working so far hasn't it?" which I took to mean, he liked things they way they were.
I get the feeling he's afraid of getting intimate because that may mean attachment or something.. Not sure, just my feeling on it.
I just take things day by day with him. I never push him, I'm just always there for him when he needs to talk, go out, etc. As many of you may also know, Virgos are very into themselves, so 99% of the time our conversations are about him lol.
I asked him flat out about a month ago when we were fooling around if he wanted to continue. I asked, should I still hold his hand, kiss him, & so on. He said "well, it's been working so far hasn't it?" which I took to mean, he liked things they way they were.
I get the feeling he's afraid of getting intimate because that may mean attachment or something.. Not sure, just my feeling on it.
I just take things day by day with him. I never push him, I'm just always there for him when he needs to talk, go out, etc. As many of you may also know, Virgos are very into themselves, so 99% of the time our conversations are about him lol.
Don't read him.. talk to him.
You said, I asked him flat out about a month ago when we were fooling around if he wanted to continue. ...He said "well, it's been working so far hasn't it?" which I took to mean, he liked things they way they were.
I think you're asking the wrong questions. Of him, and yourself. Is this all you want? Just to make out? Is that all he wants? Figure it out before moving forward.
Here's the thing- I'll agree with you in that many times, you can't push a virgo into anything--- but they also have no problem articulating what they want. Decide if you want to be friends... talk to him about it.. going with the flow without knowing where you stand can have you "flowing" into broken heart and a ruined frienship.
You said, I asked him flat out about a month ago when we were fooling around if he wanted to continue. ...He said "well, it's been working so far hasn't it?" which I took to mean, he liked things they way they were.
I think you're asking the wrong questions. Of him, and yourself. Is this all you want? Just to make out? Is that all he wants? Figure it out before moving forward.
Here's the thing- I'll agree with you in that many times, you can't push a virgo into anything--- but they also have no problem articulating what they want. Decide if you want to be friends... talk to him about it.. going with the flow without knowing where you stand can have you "flowing" into broken heart and a ruined frienship.
I know you're right Seize. I know what I should do but I know I'm afraid in a sense also.
This Virgo male is very evasive. Not sure why, but he is. Like the other night, he brought up the subject of friendship or not, yet he didn't say if he wanted friendship..or not. It's like he can't make up his mind.
I have notice he seems very jealous & suspicious sometimes & I think that is due to his past with women. He's been married 4 times before, and the last 2 times were with total psycho women (at least that is the way he tells it & I've never caught him in a lie yet).
I think neither of us is sure what we want. We do like being together & not 1 day has gone by in 7 months that we haven't talked on the phone, at least 2-4 times a day.
I'm still so confused. I am hoping some of the Virgo men will step in here, I'd like their comments as well.
Thanks all for letting me vent.
This Virgo male is very evasive. Not sure why, but he is. Like the other night, he brought up the subject of friendship or not, yet he didn't say if he wanted friendship..or not. It's like he can't make up his mind.
I have notice he seems very jealous & suspicious sometimes & I think that is due to his past with women. He's been married 4 times before, and the last 2 times were with total psycho women (at least that is the way he tells it & I've never caught him in a lie yet).
I think neither of us is sure what we want. We do like being together & not 1 day has gone by in 7 months that we haven't talked on the phone, at least 2-4 times a day.
I'm still so confused. I am hoping some of the Virgo men will step in here, I'd like their comments as well.
Thanks all for letting me vent.
About talking on the phone to him...
I was joking with him the other day about "why don't you ever send me any e mails now?" & he said "why should I send you e mails when I talk with you at least 2 hours a day on the phone woman!" LOL
And he does. He'll call me when he's on the way to or from work, just to ask what I'm doing, and he always tells me about his day, who he got e mails from & so on.
Like a high-schooler for sure he he
I was joking with him the other day about "why don't you ever send me any e mails now?" & he said "why should I send you e mails when I talk with you at least 2 hours a day on the phone woman!" LOL
And he does. He'll call me when he's on the way to or from work, just to ask what I'm doing, and he always tells me about his day, who he got e mails from & so on.
Like a high-schooler for sure he he
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OK I am totally confused & need some advice, please.
My Virgo male & I have been seeing each other 7 months. We enjoy spending time together, and when we're not together we're always on the phone or e mailing. So I consider us very close friend
My Virgo male & I have been seeing each other 7 months. We enjoy spending time together, and when we're not together we're always on the phone or e mailing. So I consider us very close friend
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