Aqua holding out on sex ?

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by mackitty on Thursday, November 13, 2008 and has 38 replies.
Me and my aqua have been talking for about almost a year now, and after all the issues we are finally dating. Everything right now is going perfect, he really loves me and I love him. The thing that I'm kinda confused about is that we haven't had sex yet. We spend all the time together in the world, and we hug, kiss, hold hands, but thats it. Me being a cancer, I wouldn't say Im sex crazed but when Im in love with someone I do want to eventually experience sex with them. I do try to make a point to dress sexy around him, and be a little kinky, but he acts shy kind of, like he's not comfortable or ready yet. I don't want to rush him but is this something that most Aqua guy's do ??? Please help, Im very confused.
details
How old is he?
details
I do try to make a point to dress sexy around him, and be a little kinky
You may be intimidating him?
If I remember vaguely, this guy has been acting a bit all over the place from the get-go right?
You share similar group of friends, was he shy or anything before you started dating?
details
Hi MacKitty!
How are you? I haven't been coming on this board long enough to understand your relationship with the gentleman, other than the first post on this thread. The first thing that popped into my head was that the gentleman whome you are friends with now, could be holding out for marriage. Do you mind me asking if he is stil a virgin? From what I read from various website's about Aquarian behavior, is that many Aqua's tend to be very analytical. Meaning he might what to know everything there is to know about you, and this could take a very long time, even years if that may be the case. Yeah I know that may sound stalker-ish, but we Aqua's sometimes like to start from scratch, and know deeply about the person whom we care so very much about. I guess once he knows all the facts about you, then he will open up to your needs, and you both can continue on from there. Then again it could be other influences, like does he think there is a future with you? Are you someone that he could introduce to his family. Having just sex, is by no means an insult to Aqua's, as I would like to think that we are the most willing experimental species in the entire zodiac, with arians and scorpios right behind us. But I suppose if you want your friend to be both emotionally,and physically attracted to you, then maybe you can sit down and dicuss this matter. I feel bad MacKitty that it has been a year that you have put up with theis gentlman, it really does sound like he is the "priest" type, that a few other members here, on DXP, have mentioned, and he is just physically attracted, not emotionally. If I find any of the website I had researched this behavior, I'll post it on here, until then If I were you, and you really do feel like you are completey head over heels in love with this guy, then talk with him, and see what he has to say. If he doesn't want to fulfill you needs now, then you know what your future is going ot look like, and I personally would move on. I hope this helps. smile
Thanks,
AquaDash
details
Well first off, he's 20's years old. This stuff might sound funny, but when we did talk about sex he said that he has never actually had sex before. I was shocked because he did a lot of talking about how many girl's he hooked up with, then finally told me that all the stuff he said about hooking up with loads of girls wasn't true. It did all seem like a lie because he doesn't seem like a guy who hooks up with a lot of girls at all. And his guy friends told me awhile back that he only said that to make me jealous. Then recently he told me that he has never actually had sex, because he was either too drunk or the girls didn't turn him or something. And to me it just seems like he's a 100% virgin and just doesn't want to come out and say it. He's a very shy guy, and I personally think he still a virgin but doesn't want to admit it because he's 20 years old, and im not a virgin. Then tonight, he asked me "how do you know if the person you have sex with really loves you ?" which also gave me the feeling that he was a virgin.
Then a few times when I was around him drunk and was kissing all up on him, he said he didn't want me to be around him like that because the feels the feelings aren't real. I don't want to rush him if thats the case. But if he is not a virgin then after talking almost a year and dating a little over a month, I don't see why he doesn't want to have sex, unless he is a true virgin and scared. I don't know what to think !?!
details
ok - how old are you?!
details
"How old is he?"
"ok - how old are you?!"
I like how whenever a topic about sex manages to surface these two questions always pop up. My advice, take care of your star player, ie. yourself.
details
dk, so she should do herself Confused
details
Virgin or not, the bottomline is, he's not ready to have sex with you. I don't know the whole story, but if it took a year of "talking" for you guys to become a couple, then it's probably gonna take a while for you guys to start having sex.
details
He's holding out for "strong like" or love it seems. How sweet.
That or erectile dysfunction.
details
Somechick23, I understand what your saying. But when me and him first started talking it wasn't like that at all. He pretty much made it seem like he was out having sex with different girls all the time. He would text me everyday and tell me each and every girl he had sex with and how amazing it was. Now he's trying to say that all of it was a lie and he only said that because he didn't want to seem lame about never actually really having sex. So when you go from telling lies to a person, to trying to be honest, sometimes it's hard to believe.
I feel like right now, everything in our relationship is going perfect. He tells me loves me daily, goes out his way to see me, and treats me good. But the lies he has told me in the past are really messing with my mind now. He was a guy who claimed to have sex all the time, a guy who said he still wasn't over his ex, a guy who said he would never get in relationship because he rather be single and talk to as many girls has he wants. How do you go from that, to being a man who tells his girlfriend he loves her everyday, saying he wants to make a life with me and going out of his way to see me. Times like right now, when it feels so amazing and perfect, it feels as almost its too good to be true. How much he changed in a sort period of time. Im just trying to make sure my feelings aren't crushed or hurt because I can't go through this again with him. I do love him and I want to believe him, but its just hard with all the things that happened in the past and all the lies he told.
details
quite frankly, sounds like something familiar...
you know, the 'everyone's doing it' stage, 'I have to look cool' stage...? are you familiar with that? The people he hangs around, what are they like, could be something he pulled to look good or fit in...
If you can't get over it, why don't you just talk to him about it ? but not recommended as it might embarass him smile
I've had something similar with an Aqua before and guys from other signs actually, it's ego.
You say you're not bothered if you do the deed or not but why do you dress provocatively? for him or for yourself? Just wondered smile
details
Somechick23, I understand what your saying. But when me and him first started talking it wasn't like that at all. He pretty much made it seem like he was out having sex with different girls all the time. He would text me everyday and tell me each and every girl he had sex with and how amazing it was. Now he's trying to say that all of it was a lie and he only said that because he didn't want to seem lame about never actually really having sex. So when you go from telling lies to a person, to trying to be honest, sometimes it's hard to believe.
sooo.... are you saying that you feel for the guy because he was all about sex? and maybe that you thought you could be one of these imaginary romanticised images of the girls hes slept with?
that to me is really uncanny and i wouldnt find that attractive. maybe because he thought you were out of his league he had to own up to something and tell you a fabricated story of his love life so he may have a chance to see if it could work.
i mean he is looking for love right?
i met an aqua one time who told me straight up that there was in fact a complete and utter difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. also that sleeping with someone is completely different then making love to someone.
maybe he doesnt know what he wants, and you pressureing him might just drive him over the edge...?
details
He says he knows what he wants and thats me. And he is really trying to prove to me he does love and want to be with me. And I do believe his love is real. I just get freaked out sometime because I don't want things to go back to the way they use to be.
details
Do you know the ridicule he would face if anyone knew he was a virgin. Being a virgin over the age of 16 these days just isnt cool. Your either some weirdo or religious zealot. Most girls would rather not date a guy who is a virgin and as you increase in age the numbers get less (with the exception of the cougar factorTongue). He probably lied due to social conformity if he is a virgin. Then he told the truth b/c you'd figure it out sooner or later.
details
Hi LadyM,
I wouldn't mind being with a virgin at all smile
details
Whats up Mackitty, to me it seems like ur dude doesn't wanna make the first move. Im an Aqua myself and somtimes I don't like making the first move.
details
what guys ?
details
lol cappy !
oh I see, don't know about elusive or delicious but I've never had to delicately balance one before - too focused on trying to delicately balance and glide in my heels Confused
the heel heights out there now are killers !
nice avatar - are they yours ?
details
CW,
I may post my backside after the new year Big Grin We can compare booties Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
That would be fun Tongue
details
cappies getting risque ! what is this world coming to ? !
jk Tongue
sweetie that was for the cappy moon = common sense joke Tongue Tongue Tongue
details
It's to SLOW the woman down in the relationship, it's predominantly to keep the pace of the relationship on his TERMS, not yours, he's not trying to get a woman caught up with him, men KNOW that once sex is involved the woman will become emotionally attached and begin to want more of his time and attention. He's smart for not having sex until he can see if your truly someone he see's himself with long term and why are you not dating other men while he's WAITING to figure things out? Argh! Women and this one man only syndrome, heartbreak all the way for women who do this.
details
Just to be clear, I'm not saying women should sleep around with different men, yet if a man is showing signs of how can I say, unusual behavior, not normal relationship patterns then its in a woman's BEST interest to date other men while he's figuring things out, women attach themselves to these men that are complicated and just not reliable sources of comfort in relationships and then they cry so much about the man as if he's God or something, if women dated until the RIGHT man for her showed up then it wouldn't matter why he wouldn't want sex, you would be taking care of your life not his and if for some reason he wanted out, you could bless him and go on your way with little to no emotional trauma to yourself, yeah it would hurt but it wouldn't be something women would dwell on if she's doing her own thing, we women bring out so much commitment phobia in these men because they can sense THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE GAME with a woman and they just freeze up and want out LOL and do weird things, well behave in such a way that says your smothering me and I'm going to make you leave me, they don't mean to be that way but too much focus on one man is scary for some of these men
details
tiki you so and so ! I really love this dating many men thing ! it liberating isn't it... one big happy orgified dating ring Winking
on another topic, I think the emotional attachment is already there - I hate generalizing but what is the common misconception when someone declares their love for you ? he or she is exclusive to me ONLY. I might be wrong...
now back to your point, if he knew she was dating others, these love pronounciations may not even be uttered hence these words become control mechanisms to keep someone where we want them
details
cappies getting risque ! what is this world coming to ? !
jk
sweetie that was for the cappy moon = common sense joke
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh you saw it Big Grin
details
I love you doesn't mean I love ONLY you and I am COMMITTED to ONLY YOU, this is a huge misconception and one of the biggest mistakes we make, a man has to verbally say with his mouth and his actions that I am only going to date you, even when he seems to be dating only you, DON'T ASSUME that it will remain that way, he has to say it and if he doesn't say it then what applied today will not apply tomorrow, no matter how many times your together intimately, you could be over his every day, well that doesn't mean relationship, to you it does but to him it doesn't and this is what women need to understand, it's one of the most important things to know when dating a man.
Now I know men speak in their man language but in some way or another he has to say it verbally and say it with his actions or your pretty much in an imaginary relationship, now some women will get pissed and are in denial about this issue but I'm sure if they take a strong look at there relationship/s and look at the patterns, most of these guys aren't saying it verbally and after a couple weeks/months they back pedal real hard, its the ex syndrome, I'm still in love with someone else syndrome, were moving too fast issue, no sex issue, all thest things and more are to slow the relationship process down, men know the logical steps to dating and I find most women don't really think about it and just go full force ahead without even knowing what makes a man tick inside. Some women do all kinds of things to get a man in the relationship but don't really know from a males perspective what makes him want to stay, so they do things that are counterproductive, like waiting for him, giving to him, just things that make him clench really hard onto his freedom
details
It's the behaviors women ignore because the men make them feel so dayum good but that feeling isn't and doesn't mean relationship,it's just a feeling and if most women notice, they are the only ones bonded to that feeling, these men are doing what they wanna do most of the times and dismissing the women when they get too scared and or simply never had any intentions of being with her on a long term basis, men are just dating and in some cases sleeping with women and they haven't thought much of anything else and women can't seem to grasp why he wouldn't think about it but most DON'T think about it even after months of dating, this is why it's not in a woman's best interest to be exclusive until she truly is getting her needs met 100% , when men WITHHOLD intimacy, it makes women FEEL NEEDY and CLINGY and this is another factor that makes a man back pedal, the woman may not even be the needy clingy type but if a man is holding back he will create this push pull vibe and she will pushing and he will be pulling away...ok I'm stopping, I can go on forever with this issue and I'm not jus talking ok, I LIVED it and learned the hard way

I don't mean all women and all men, there are some healthy relationships out there and there are people that know how to communicate there needs and expectations and know how to set healthy boundaries, its just some women don't do this and get caught up with emotionally unavailable men, years can literally be wasted...there are some really smart on point women that do get it and the ones who do date as many men as they choose when they choose and keeps her from feeling needy from the man that she really wants to have that great relationship with, if a guy says he loves you don't say I love you too, ask him what love means to him when he says that, does it mean relationship, term of endearment...women are scared to run men off, they run anyway when you assume, ask questions
details
typo...no matter how many times your together intimately, you could be over his house every day, well that doesn't mean relationship
women are scared to run men off, they run anyway when you assume, so ask questions
details
a round of applause ladies and gents for a smart lady who knows when to stop talking !
the smart lady can also take a joke zenalchemy hopes *crosses fingers*
details
nah he's not having sex because he doesn't want to simple as that, men do what they wanna do and if he's not having sex then she has to ask herself if she wants a man that already withholding intimacy within the relationship, date other men until he feels the need to talk about it, this means she's not putting any pressure on him to talk, it's obviously not an issue for him, she can't fix him and if he comes to her with the sex issue then it means he's open and ready to discuss it, if he's not then she's pulling a donkey's ass up a steep hill, right now there is no issue, he's not having sex and his choice not to do it, they aren't married, they are dating
Oh Z I get in these talk too much spells, they pass, I'm annoying, I know LOL!!
details
exactly lk.
it could be this ... if I was a virgin, not that I am not!
and had a chick as hot as mckit, I would be shytting myself too !
I am not a guy obviously or, erm, ok I am stuck ! tiki please teach me some eloquence Confused
details
No Z, I like how you communicate, I get a grrrrrrrr and a laugh all at the same time LOL
you always have truth in your statements, I like that
details
Why are we so curious about his sexual issues?
his issues not hers, truth will come, it could be anything from sexuality issues to wanting to wait for the right girl to give himself too, not all men are man whores or have sexual dysfuntion issues, he could just be comfortable with the way things are and with the pace and doesn't need sex to solidify the relationship and if he's young then he may not want to get caught up in a full out relationship with her or any woman, he's still trying to become a man and figure things out for himself and don't want the added stress and responsibility of sex on his plate
details
you get a grrrrr and a laugh ?!
no wai, I made an aqua feel ! *dances around*
details
"Aqua myself and somtimes I don't like making the first move"
huh, aqua men don't seem to make the first move very often...no matter what age. they are not very forward, especially with hooking up or sex. you have to be a woman in control and with a lot of confidence in the bedroom.
details
ok moonch, I think it because you're looking for an obvious initiation - like you would get from cardinal signs.
Aquas are fixed signs...from my experience, initiating doesn't come natural, they will drop sentences to guage your response before telling you what is on their mind...
E.G.
I am tired, need your help => I'm horny or wanna chill with you
I'll be in your area tomorrow around blah blah => let's have dinner or catch up
hoping on one foot => I would like a hug
depending on your response after the first statements, they carry on but they also want you to guess a little...
They level off the control but it's just not obvious...
details
venus in capricorn
details
that's cos you are a fixed sign some chick Tongue
I am not fixed so my guaging comes in the form of
"take of your pants"
"are your boobs real?"
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy