Aqua ignoring me after apology..normal?

This topic was created in the Aquarius Men forum by gemini1689 on Monday, August 22, 2011 and has 24 replies.
Basically, me and my aqua been strong for 4 1/2 years and on saturday I had a massive mood swing and I snapped on him and yelled at him and he didn't reply back to anything I saoid.. (It was all over a phone messanger). Then yesterday, I sent him a long message basically saying sorry n I reali2 it was me and that I love him and etc. He purposley hasn't read the msg, I know this because I can tell if he read my msg and he still hasn't, its been hourrs.. He even changed his display picture. Why is he purposley ignoring my appology, oh and he knows its an apology because I started it off with his pet name.. I plan to not msg him until he does now. What do u aquas think? What's going on??
details
are you sure you've been strong for the whole 4 years? that behaviour seems odd to me.
he probably really wants his space. you could have offended him and he's taking a step back so the situation doesn't blow up even further. wouldn't you be better off addressing this face to face...in a few day's time?
it's not polite to ignore people. but i get his angle, dude needs some breathing space and maybe this is too emotionally heavy for him. you don't want to bog him down with an issue that's mostly yours. you've apologised...leave it there for the time being until he's willing/able to communicate
details
Posted by AliCar15
Sorry! Just reread my post and realized it was pretty damn blunt. I'm an Aries, comes with the territory Winking
But, what I am trying to do is help YOU avoid the mistakes I made with MY Aqua early on.


Hey NP,
I totally get it.. I'll actually show you my msg I sent.. kinda goes like this:

I've had some time to think whilst being alone and away from everything and came to the realization that my behavior was reactionary and I blurted out my immediate feelings before considering them. This isn't something I should be doing to someone I want to be with. I love you and I was dead wrong. Sometimes it's hard for me to voice my feelings because they become overwhelming sometimes so my first initial reaction is to act out. I just had a bad, bad approach to it and I feel so embarrassed. I got down to the root of my issues and I'm working on them. I will no longer do this to you- as you don't deserve it (you can bet that-never gotta sweat that). I'm controlling and managing everything on my own now. Problems are gonna happen, we just gotta work through them together. I'm doing my part-- I just want you to understand (for your part). It won't happen again, now that I know what it is-- I'm better. Sometimes it takes making mistakes like this to learn and grow-- this was it for me. I like you, and I appreciate you and all that you do for me, which includes putting up with my crazy hormones and temper. Don't be mad at me. I'm sorry I just want us to be ok again and move forward from this. I don't wanna ruin the very few days we have left together this summer, its not even worth ruining something so good either.. ok? (And after this- I never wanna discuss this again, I don't wanna dwell on it anymore. Its gone to me--I've solved that issue)
Also, I dont know if hes ignoring my msg or what hes doing.. should I send it again after a few days?? if he hasnt already contacted me?---will he forgive me soon
details
Posted by AliCar15
I like the message. I think he'll read it and be receptive. Just give him a bit of time. He'll probably be weird for a few days...but he'll get back to normal.
Just cool down, dial yourself back a bit, and relax. He'll come back around. An Aqua after 4 1/2 years is bound to come back around.


Thanks so much! I hope he will come back sooner than later. If he doesn't by thursday--is it safe to re-send the same msg? Or a 'what's up'
details
if you were a guy gem..and i was the aqua....i would probably be contemplating if this is what i wanna be married to...i mean this in the most honest and non-malicious way. its been 4 1/2 years about to get married and despite i may understand how its like to be a girl....its the process in which you go about it that would make me question whether or not we have the capacity to be together "FOREVER AND EVER". SO FAR...it seems that by the talks on here..you seem insecure about the relationship and also about him...lacking comfort and trust. it also seems that you question yourself and how amazing you are for any aqua to be with someone that long. and you don't seem to feel very secure in the relationship if so..maybe you should start asking "how can we improve on this " rather "WHY IS HE* a,b,c,d...and WHY are we this..and WHY are we that"
my advise...
give him some leg room man...even a inch of leg room...if you guys are going to be married then what is the rush? i gaurentee he is contemplating on the marriage thing with you. men want to marry someone they can have fun and trust and etc not someone to go nuts on them for every 4 hours they're gone. your actions reflect your instability and lack of trust on the relationship..without that the marriage life will be painful...
also a woman that is strong in the sense of their feminity...confident and also someone who can be stable when they are not. I would be irritated and hurt if my lover questions me every time im not available or even one little trivial thing comes up. your explosion on him shows your inability to move on to the next stage of the relationship.
gl!
details
the problem with that text is the lack of vulnerability "i got down to the root of my issue" AND??? and what? he is the lover and he should have every right to know the reason why. it is such a typical response MYG EMINI bf would right...and i dont think your aqua would like it..if anything he probably already knows you'll right something like that... i would probably have a letter like this
"baby...it has been 4.5 years and its so sad that i've become someone i am not...you see im not exactly myself. Your smart and you see right through me so no more bs. I have been having a probelm with a,b,c,d,e,f,g (etc get the point?) and i feel that it is due to my a,b,c,d,e,f,g...I would like you to understand me better and also help me understand what is going on. no more games on my end (even if you feel your not you are.in his eyes) I feel the problem is when a,b,c,d,e arises and we (it takes both to tango) a,b,c,d,e...i propse several solutions...
a) whenever you have something up and feel that you may be gone for awhile...i would like at least a courtesy text at least to know your okay (nothing controlling) just basic respect and right that your soon to be wife should at least get. And i wll do the same. even a text back "let me call you in a couple hours studying and about to take a test" anything along the lines of that. and i will try to understand and put myself in your shoes
b) whenever i do something to make you upset...like (a b c d e) i would like for you to tell me..i know i haven't been exactly chill about it all but i would like to not have to guess where your coming from...
YOUR LETTER TO HIM IS CHILDISH..IT EXPLAINS NOTHING BUT TO APOLOGIZE AS THE INTENTION BUT WITH NO COMING OF UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON...IF HE IS HURT OR IF WHAT HE IS THINKING. ITS LIKE A CHILD BREAKING A GLASS...AND JUST GOES "IM SORRY MOMMY IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TOO! ..SO CAN I GO OUT A PLAY NOW?" just because you think your ready doesnt make it so for him...
the letter above is something i would right because it gives a thorough explanation..opens up vulnerbility and offers solution and also room for the other person to offer their honest to god thoughts and emotions.
details
write*
details
Posted by candi3bb
the problem with that text is the lack of vulnerability "i got down to the root of my issue" AND??? and what? he is the lover and he should have every right to know the reason why. it is such a typical response MYG EMINI bf would right...and i dont think your aqua would like it..if anything he probably already knows you'll right something like that... i would probably have a letter like this
"baby...it has been 4.5 years and its so sad that i've become someone i am not...you see im not exactly myself. Your smart and you see right through me so no more bs. I have been having a probelm with a,b,c,d,e,f,g (etc get the point?) and i feel that it is due to my a,b,c,d,e,f,g...I would like you to understand me better and also help me understand what is going on. no more games on my end (even if you feel your not you are.in his eyes) I feel the problem is when a,b,c,d,e arises and we (it takes both to tango) a,b,c,d,e...i propse several solutions...
a) whenever you have something up and feel that you may be gone for awhile...i would like at least a courtesy text at least to know your okay (nothing controlling) just basic respect and right that your soon to be wife should at least get. And i wll do the same. even a text back "let me call you in a couple hours studying and about to take a test" anything along the lines of that. and i will try to understand and put myself in your shoes
b) whenever i do something to make you upset...like (a b c d e) i would like for you to tell me..i know i haven't been exactly chill about it all but i would like to not have to guess where your coming from...
YOUR LETTER TO HIM IS CHILDISH..IT EXPLAINS NOTHING BUT TO APOLOGIZE AS THE INTENTION BUT WITH NO COMING OF UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON...IF HE IS HURT OR IF WHAT HE IS THINKING. ITS LIKE A CHILD BREAKING A GLASS...AND JUST GOES "IM SORRY MOMMY IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TOO! ..SO CAN I GO OUT A PLAY NOW?" just because you think your ready doesnt make it so for him...
the letter above is something i would right because it gives a thorough explanation..opens up vulnerbility and offers solution and also room for the other person to offer their honest to god thoughts and emotions.



Thanks so much for your help. I altered what you said and sent it to him. Its my last msg to him. I'm going to wait and let him call/msg me now. smile thanks
details
Yea being emotional can set us back but like the above message are you sure you were strong 4 years? Either hes getting bored and tired of the apologies or he doesnt want to hear it this time around. When I ignore someone I love its because im still pist and annoyed. So I dont bother with it.
Were not very emotional people.
details
Also being with a gemini is hard only because of the "twin" thing. One day gems are sweet as ever and the next so evil and hurtful. Would you say you do that at all?
details
Posted by Laylaray
Also being with a gemini is hard only because of the "twin" thing. One day gems are sweet as ever and the next so evil and hurtful. Would you say you do that at all?


Yes and no, im very nice caring and understanding to him and he knows that. just when i have an off day.. its really bad. and its really bad because im normally very nice.
details
Posted by AliCar15
I like the message. I think he'll read it and be receptive. Just give him a bit of time. He'll probably be weird for a few days...but he'll get back to normal.
Just cool down, dial yourself back a bit, and relax. He'll come back around. An Aqua after 4 1/2 years is bound to come back around.


Thanks so much smile Im not going to contact him at all until he calms down and contacts me smile which he will
details
Give him his space & just wait until he comes around. Just b/c u apologized doesn't mean n/e thing. It was necessary & good u owned up to ur faults, but @ the end of day u still acted like a drama queen & he's probably just cool off that right now. If someone flipped out on me & apologized, in my head I'd b thinking "Ok good u kno ur wrong bt ur still a drama queen/king n I'm cool off that" haha
Aquas r rational & into fairness, so if u lashed out @ him for no reason that's prob even more y he's cool off u right now. N pls don't get mad or upset @ him if he doesn't respond right away (like most girls do) cuz that's just dealing tht drama queen card again n that'll restart another MIA session on his behalf lol
Hope everything works out! Just stay positive, relax & don't worry too much...
details
Posted by aquarius21
Give him his space & just wait until he comes around. Just b/c u apologized doesn't mean n/e thing. It was necessary & good u owned up to ur faults, but @ the end of day u still acted like a drama queen & he's probably just cool off that right now. If someone flipped out on me & apologized, in my head I'd b thinking "Ok good u kno ur wrong bt ur still a drama queen/king n I'm cool off that" haha
Aquas r rational & into fairness, so if u lashed out @ him for no reason that's prob even more y he's cool off u right now. N pls don't get mad or upset @ him if he doesn't respond right away (like most girls do) cuz that's just dealing tht drama queen card again n that'll restart another MIA session on his behalf lol
Hope everything works out! Just stay positive, relax & don't worry too much...


I have already applogized and now Im just waiting for him to come out of his cave, ill wait however long it takes.. but im just curious.. what goes through their heads when they come back?? whats their train of thought and how does he plan to intitiate conversation after that?.. I know him, he will ignore the incident completley like it never happened, which works out good I guess. AHH, I just hate waiting.. but its something i'll have to do smile
details
I have already applogized and now Im just waiting for him to come out of his cave, ill wait however long it takes.. but im just curious.. what goes through their heads when they come back?? whats their train of thought and how does he plan to intitiate conversation after that?.. I know him, he will ignore the incident completley like it never happened, which works out good I guess. AHH, I just hate waiting.. but its something i'll have to do smile


I think what's on his mind when he returns is: "Ok I forgive u let's pick up where we left off" or "Ok I'm over it let's have fun now" lol. For me personally, I hate dramatics, downers & overly emotional situations. I'm so chill, laid back and I love peace & just having good times always, so n e time that's disrupted it's a real mood killer! N I need a breather from n e of the downers or drama queens/kings jst cuz I like to always stay positive. So I'm assuming that's how he might've felt.
N I do the same thing, come back like nothing happened. Aquas don't like talking about ther feelings too much so breathers or being MIA is our way of dealing w/ issues. I think the cool part tho is tht in relatnships, u never hav to worry wen ther on breathers cuz they'll come back the same. There's no hidden messages n u never have to think he's still mad or whatever. Cuz if he's talking to u he's over it smile
details
yea but do we ever really forget? nope! then one day something happens and poof we've made a decision and we're gone..
details
He's upset. So just give him some space & breathing room.
Stop being so demanding. And I say that b/c I've read your other posts about him.
He probably feels over-loaded. You sending him an apology when he already needed space from you was 1 thing. But you constantly riding him about whether or not he's read it is just gonna make it worse.
He WILL read it, just probably not when you want him to. Either way, it's not when he reads it that really matters. It's how he reacts/responds when he actually does read it.
Once he reads it, go from there.
In the meantime, RELAX woman! You're driving yourself crazy over things you can't control.
details
Plus, Aquas aren't guillable. Just b/c someone apologizes or says "I'm sorry" & expects us to be over it after hearing those words doesn't mean that's how an Aqua actually works.
If they don't feel like dealing with you to begin with, they probably won't wanna read the apology until they are mentally ready to hear anything you have to say.
Then once they read the note, they actually have to decide whether or not what you're saying is something they consider complete bull or words that are actually sincere.
After that, this is where the Aqua stubborness comes in. They may internally accept your apology, BUT they'll ignore you or make you "wait" for a while as their way of letting you know that they don't just magically get over things over night.
They need time to process the things you've said/done. And no offense, but it's not fair of you to "time" him on how long or not you feel he should be over whatever it is that you've said/done wrong.
If there's 1 thing about Aquas it's that we don't allow anyone to force/pressure us into hearing you out. We'll do it when we freakin' want. And the people who try to change that end up getting MORE resistance & distance from us
So relax!
Being overly-emotional & too demanding at a time when he already needed space from you is just gonna make it worse. Put your own emotions to the side for once, see things from his point of view & give him the breathing room that he's SHOWING you he needs better than he can tell you
details
Posted by candi3bb
yea but do we ever really forget? nope! then one day something happens and poof we've made a decision and we're gone..


Hahahaha that's so true lol. Forgiven, but not forgotten Winking
details
Posted by aquarius21
Posted by candi3bb
yea but do we ever really forget? nope! then one day something happens and poof we've made a decision and we're gone..


Hahahaha that's so true lol. Forgiven, but not forgotten Winking
click to expand


Absolutely!
details
Thanks for all your input! Im learning how to be with my Aqua- I know we'll be more than fine. THANKS smile
details
Aqua have a very complicated view of the world so when something crazy happens they sometimes need time to figure out what their view is on it. So he needs time and space ..if you come accross as desperate for contact that will be offputting as aquarius are quite independent and see depedency as a form of weakness or even mental illness. To them healthy is when you enjoy tim with someone but dont have to see them at all costs or else your going to have a nervous breakdown. if your not healthy they will try to cure you but conclude your not their soulmate cos you dont understand where they are coming from.
details
haha i know when my gem bf...does things i shut off. im silent and sometimes disappear. its like i can only have him keep guessing what is the real problem. obviously just saying sorry and through his explanations i feel we're not on the same page..and by talking about where i stand ALL the time and he can't figure it out.just shows as a partner he isn't capable of understanding me..which..haha not sure then what really hurts..being misunderstood..or dating someone who pretends to be dense.
ignorance isn't bliss...
details
My BF knows im amazing at understanding his space. hes told me many times that im the only girl who ever understood his need for space. I always understand. However, its different this time, but still im not sweating- im keeping busy doing my own things and enjoying summer! I know he'll come around after not hearing a word from me in daaays.. oh you aquas.. cant live with or without you
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy