Aqua turning everything into a joke!

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by leolion08 on Saturday, November 15, 2014 and has 25 replies.
I've been dating an aqua for about 6 months now . He was in a 8 year relationship that he ended about a year ago before we met. He's told me that he's hesitant to jump into anything serious because his head isn't in the right place. Lately things have gotten more serious (we see each other every second day and when not together constantly messaging and calling). I've tried to bring up our relationship in conversation but when ever I do, he turns it into a joke and does anything he can to avoid talking about it. I end up joking with him back and dropping it because he makes it impossible for me!
I'm so happy being with him and at the end of the day and have no complaints - except him not talking about his feelings and our future. He shows me how much he cares about me. Should I be concerned with an aqua not talking about his feelings? Is that something aquas find hard?
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Hahaha yah they do that don't they?
At least they're really funny - at least my aqua is.
Although I'd be a bit concerned about him doing it re you future, my aqua likes to talk about us getting old and being little old couple best friends,
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@leolion08 I'm an Aquarius guy. Because he doesn't talk about his feelings, doesn't mean he doesn't feel them. I sometimes feel so deeply that it scares me and I don't know how to talk about it. We sometimes use evasiveness or humor to hide our true feelings. Or I will use ambiguity in how I say things and it's up to the recipient, who after dating for a while, "should" know what I mean. Of course, not everyone can hear our thoughts or understand what we are trying to say. In fact it can be straight up annoying and confusing for most people.
If he's talking to you a lot, he's into you...a lot! We don't tend to put ongoing energy into people we don't really care about. He might not be ready to verbalize it, so you might need to be ok with it for a while. Personally I don't like talking about my future with one person, it makes me feel trapped and the worst thing you can do to an Aquarius is to make them feel like they are not free... even if it is just an illusion in our heads.
From the sounds of it, he is already in love with you.. just give him some space to come to terms with it on his own. Don't push him too hard. But also, don't wait forever to hear it. You deserve it!
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Posted by thump365
I sometimes feel so deeply that it scares me and I don't know how to talk about it. We sometimes use evasiveness or humor to hide our true feelings. Or I will use ambiguity in how I say things and it's up to the recipient, who after dating for a while, "should" know what I mean. Of course, not everyone can hear our thoughts or understand what we are trying to say. In fact it can be straight up annoying and confusing for most people.


I COMPLETELY relate to what you just said there! I'm an Aqua sun female cap venus and I'll admit it takes me a while to even move forward with a romantic interest only because I want to make sure what I'm feeling is genuine. Once I realize yep I am really into you I will try to make sure it's mutual before I expose how I feel but I'll do things to let you know I care.
I'm more of a let me show you how I feel than let me tell you type of person. Actions over words is really how I operate but I get most people want both. I'll be honest, I use humour a lot to mask my feelings, like if I like you but I'm still unsure if it's mutual I'll joke around about certain subjects to see what the response is. Honestly this guy does seem really into you. smile
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aqua monkey can you elaborate more?
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Posted by thump365
@leolion08 I'm an Aquarius guy. Because he doesn't talk about his feelings, doesn't mean he doesn't feel them. I sometimes feel so deeply that it scares me and I don't know how to talk about it. We sometimes use evasiveness or humor to hide our true feelings. Or I will use ambiguity in how I say things and it's up to the recipient, who after dating for a while, "should" know what I mean. Of course, not everyone can hear our thoughts or understand what we are trying to say. In fact it can be straight up annoying and confusing for most people.
If he's talking to you a lot, he's into you...a lot! We don't tend to put ongoing energy into people we don't really care about. He might not be ready to verbalize it, so you might need to be ok with it for a while. Personally I don't like talking about my future with one person, it makes me feel trapped and the worst thing you can do to an Aquarius is to make them feel like they are not free... even if it is just an illusion in our heads.
From the sounds of it, he is already in love with you.. just give him some space to come to terms with it on his own. Don't push him too hard. But also, don't wait forever to hear it. You deserve it!


I second this 100% !! I will often make a joke or use evasive techniques. For most this can be confusing and sometimes even infuriating(or so I've been told).
It's not that we don't care. We just have a different way of expressing it. We come off as very talkative about random subjects but as soon as anything serious is mentioned about us or our relationship we do a 180. A true aqua is already well aware of their future plans. We live for the future. But it's not black and white. Talking about it makes it all feel very real and set in stone which goes against our nature as we do so love the feeling of freedom even if it's only in our imagination. The fact that he spends so much time with you and talks to you a lot should be enough to know that he truly cares. Aqua is a fixed sign though so he will need to feel as though he's in charge of his life.. At least a little.
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Be patient. He probably gets nervous and doesn't want to say anything stupid. Just give him time and eventually he'll let you know!
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Very interesting! This has made me feel a lot more at ease smile his amazing humour is half the reason we get along so well, wouldn't have it any other way. Good to get a little into the aqua brain! Thanks guys
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I'v said it before and I'll say it again, don't force anything in life whether it be relationship to going to the toilet, don't force just let it glide??_.
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I just jumped on here to ask a question right along these lines.
If no one is opposed can I go ahead with it. The responses leolion08 are frickin eye-opening!
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Posted by IAmMystified
aqua monkey can you elaborate more?


Sure but, what exactly would you like me to elaborate on?
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Posted by metalaquamonkey
Posted by IAmMystified
aqua monkey can you elaborate more?


Sure but, what exactly would you like me to elaborate on?
click to expand


The actions more than words part.
How would people even understand your actions mean something when aquas are friendly/nice/helpful with EVERYONE.
How do you know when you matter the most?
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Well I can only speak for myself but I find that most times than not people say things but their actions say otherwise. For me words are just words until your actions give them meaning and though it's true I'm pretty nice and try to be helpful to most people I will not go above and beyond for everyone.
Only those I really truly care about will I go out of my way for. If someone is my partner and I know he's not feeling so great I'll either try to cheer him up or nurse him back to health etc. Whatever the case may be I usually do things to where my partner would knows that hey, I'm here for you and I care.
If he is unsure about how I feel and my actions alone don't seem to answer his questions all he needs to do is ask. In the beginning of a relationship I may seem a bit hesitant and yeah maybe a bit 'aloof' but really as I mentioned I just want to make sure what I'm feeling is genuine and it's mutual. After that has been established I'll show my complete devotion in the relationship and my partner shouldn't really have any doubt but if they do all he'll need to do is ask and I'll answer and do my best to reassure him it's all good.
I'm not one to lead anyone on though so if I wasn't into him I wouldn't be with him. Hope that clarified it because sometimes I'm not good at making sense of explaining how I feel. smile
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Posted by Jamjam
Posted by thump365
@leolion08 I'm an Aquarius guy. Because he doesn't talk about his feelings, doesn't mean he doesn't feel them. I sometimes feel so deeply that it scares me and I don't know how to talk about it. We sometimes use evasiveness or humor to hide our true feelings. Or I will use ambiguity in how I say things and it's up to the recipient, who after dating for a while, "should" know what I mean. Of course, not everyone can hear our thoughts or understand what we are trying to say. In fact it can be straight up annoying and confusing for most people.
If he's talking to you a lot, he's into you...a lot! We don't tend to put ongoing energy into people we don't really care about. He might not be ready to verbalize it, so you might need to be ok with it for a while. Personally I don't like talking about my future with one person, it makes me feel trapped and the worst thing you can do to an Aquarius is to make them feel like they are not free... even if it is just an illusion in our heads.
From the sounds of it, he is already in love with you.. just give him some space to come to terms with it on his own. Don't push him too hard. But also, don't wait forever to hear it. You deserve it!


I second this 100% !! I will often make a joke or use evasive techniques. For most this can be confusing and sometimes even infuriating(or so I've been told).
It's not that we don't care. We just have a different way of expressing it. We come off as very talkative about random subjects but as soon as anything serious is mentioned about us or our relationship we do a 180. A true aqua is already well aware of their future plans. We live for the future. But it's not black and white. Talking about it makes it all feel very real and set in stone which goes against our nature as we do so love the feeling of freedom even if it's only in our imagination. The fact that he spends so much time with you and talks to you a lot should be enough to know that he truly cares. Aqua is a fixed sign though so he will need to feel as though he's in charge of his life.. At least a little.
click to expand


This is him to a T! He knows when he takes a joke too far as we'll and will quite often apologise as soon as his said something. He knows he can push it too far, but I think he has trouble controll
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Posted by ZelaleZ
Such a D?j?? vu...
The only way to deal with an Aquarius that has feelings for you is with patience and never to talk about it seriously. Be light hearted and trust your gut feelings. Leo females are guided by their guts so whatever you are feeling right now, is probably real.
btw, i love your profile picture. makes me want to jump on a boat and sail under the Sun.


I don't think my gut has ever been wrong with men, cannot agree more. Thanks girl smile
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Everybody else can be right about that but sometimes when I don't want to tell someone how I feel and joke around is because I don't want to tell them the truth and hurt their feelings. I have a lot of female friends and that's all they are to me-is friends. They confuse my signals and thing I want them in some other kind of way and I feel bad for them and sometimes feel like my nature attracts this kind if situation so I just make jokes instead of breaking their hearts. Times I do nice things for people because I want them to feel good about themselves not because I like them in that way.
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Posted by StarChild63
Everybody else can be right about that but sometimes when I don't want to tell someone how I feel and joke around is because I don't want to tell them the truth and hurt their feelings. I have a lot of female friends and that's all they are to me-is friends. They confuse my signals and thing I want them in some other kind of way and I feel bad for them and sometimes feel like my nature attracts this kind if situation so I just make jokes instead of breaking their hearts. Times I do nice things for people because I want them to feel good about themselves not because I like them in that way.


You're going to hurt their feelings by not telling them.
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Posted by leolion08
I've been dating an aqua for about 6 months now . He was in a 8 year relationship that he ended about a year ago before we met. He's told me that he's hesitant to jump into anything serious because his head isn't in the right place. Lately things have gotten more serious (we see each other every second day and when not together constantly messaging and calling). I've tried to bring up our relationship in conversation but when ever I do, he turns it into a joke and does anything he can to avoid talking about it. I end up joking with him back and dropping it because he makes it impossible for me!
I'm so happy being with him and at the end of the day and have no complaints - except him not talking about his feelings and our future. He shows me how much he cares about me. Should I be concerned with an aqua not talking about his feelings? Is that something aquas find hard?


It's frustrating isn't it? I've been with my aqua over 2 1/2 years and he still does this. I called him out on it one time about 8 months in and he said 'you should know that if I didn't have feelings for you, I wouldn't keep coming around.'
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@truecap
I've gotten that statement before something along the lines of them expecting us to know they value us. How would we know if they never say anything lol.
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Id rather not tell them and let them just enjoy the moments with me. Figure they can get some happiness out of just having fun. I have a lot of female friends and most of them think I want them. It's a curse. And the times I told them the truth they got all crazy and emotional and it just made things awkward
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Posted by IAmMystified
@truecap
I've gotten that statement before something along the lines of them expecting us to know they value us. How would we know if they never say anything lol.


They think we should 'just know'.
Someone made a statement on here that their guy knows how they feel, they don't have to say it. Everyone was like WTF!!! lol!
Here's my take. Aquas can be very aloof to people they don't care about. Oh, they're friendly, but they act the same as someone they do care about. So, if they spend time with you (that's the big thing), they do things for you, they contact you every day (another biggie), they are comfortable enough to be with you and not be "on" (with other people they have to put on a show to be fun and humorous, but with you they can relax and be quiet), they include you with their friends and family, they treat you like someone they love, then they do care about you. They don't do these things with very many people, so you're special if they do all that with/for you.
Actually, we should know just by their actions. BUT!!! It's nice to have words to match the actions, but they're not good at reassuring or putting their feelings into words. Have to read betweent the line.
I think the longer you're with him, the more you will notice.
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I meant they don't act the same with someone they care about as they do people they don't care about.
The more you get to know him, you will see what I'm talking about. They're distant or aloof or 'holding court' with people they don't care about. They treat people they love with warmth and can be themselves around them.
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The humor is avoidance!!!
It's either avoidance of feelings, which they find uncomfortable.
Or it's avoidance of hurting you, which aquas don't like hurting people.
The only way to know the difference is to observe the actions like I noted above.
Hope that helps.
And, by the way, I still get frustrated with mine sometimes, even after all this time. smile
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Posted by truecap
I meant they don't act the same with someone they care about as they do people they don't care about.
The more you get to know him, you will see what I'm talking about. They're distant or aloof or 'holding court' with people they don't care about. They treat people they love with warmth and can be themselves around them.



Its like I said before though...and I'm sure its true with others that I personally get jealous when I don't get the ON behavior.
Because I like the fun entertaining side of aquas...they are eccentric so they can be off the wall funny. I love to laugh and when I get the "off" side...the quiet whatever whatever side you mentioned...its great and all but laughter is the best medicine as they say.
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Posted by truecap
The humor is avoidance!!!
It's either avoidance of feelings, which they find uncomfortable.
Or it's avoidance of hurting you, which aquas don't like hurting people.
The only way to know the difference is to observe the actions like I noted above.
Hope that helps.
And, by the way, I still get frustrated with mine sometimes, even after all this time. smile


OMG this is so spot on. Its kind of like the half truth thing. Jokes are half truths. I've noticed that they use jokes to say what they want to say but becuase they are joking the other person doesn't realize they are being honest LOL.
Which makes sense why I never get made fun of HAHA.
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