AquaGirl scaring me!

Last year I went on a couple of dates with an AquaGirl. I really liked her but she was too vague and aloof, so I didn't bother seeing her again. Now, in my ongoing dating adventure, I have met another one. We went out on our first date last night. We chatted and got on well, and she's pretty, but I'm not sure I can see us together and she isn't helping matters by coming on sooooo strong! She constantly bombards me with texts asking if I miss her, wants me to bob out of work and go round to hers for an hour, wants to see me this evening, wants to know when we're going to do this, when we're going to do that... it's driving me crazy! If I really fancied her I'd love the attention, but any chance that my feelings for her might have to develop is being squashed by her smothering me. I think I'm going to have to let her down gently, but how?

How old is she? Older Aquas tend to be more aggressive. We are huge commitmentphobes too, so don't be fooled, she may be trying to get rid of you by being aggressive, some Aqua females self sabotage like this when we meet men we like/love. Some of us are chasers too, we love to chase men but I can promise you if you reciprocated interest and was completely available she would lose interest in you quite quickly.

Just tell her it's not going to work out, she will lose interest and disappear.

This one's 30 years old. The last one, who was aloof and elusive, was 23.

Older Aqua females (some not all) get pretty aggressive around that time, younger Aquas tend to behave in a shy elusive disinterested manner, like they don't care either way whether something happens or not but as we get older we get hotter and we just go for it but some of us don't understand men aren't attracted to this kind of aggressive behavior.

It's just more subconscious to behave this way we don't do it on purpose to turn men off, men assume we want babies and to get married and that could be further from the truth, realistically we are probably the most commitmentphobic of the zodiac and Aqua females nesting instincts kick in pretty late IF EVER, we tend to be late bloomers. Were kind of a weird bunch emotionally but if you choose to stick around you will see a very giving, loyal lover, she will calm down she may just be a bit excited over you, I don't know your interest level but if you like her enough to say something about it she will appreciate your honesty and change.

Some of us are dating retarded, we sit so long on the sidelines being aloof and elusive when start to shift out of that phase things get pretty confusing for us as we get older our dating skills pretty much suck, I think you found one.

We are not difficult to dump nor are we stalkers so whatever you choose to do will be okay, we tend to have a tough skin, move on quickly and when were hurt we nourish our own wounds independently.

Posted by tiki33
...some of us don't understand men aren't attracted to this kind of aggressive behavior.

I would say I am attracted to this type of behavior, but only if it's someone who I really fancy. I can be very possessive and intense myself so when I like someone so much that I behave like that then it's reassuring if they behave the same way. I once met a Leo who I fancied like mad and she went crazy for me too. We spent 8.5 years together!

Posted by tiki33

... but if you like her enough to say something about it she will appreciate your honesty and change.

click to expand

Well that's the thing. I might be able to grow to like her, but in this specific case I'm not sufficiently attracted in the first instance that I'd welcome such an intense approach. If it were "love at first sight" for me then I'd love the "full-on" approach. Maybe I should tell her to give me some space and see what happens.

Posted by VirgoM20

Posted by tiki33
...some of us don't understand men aren't attracted to this kind of aggressive behavior.

I would say I am attracted to this type of behavior, but only if it's someone who I really fancy. I can be very possessive and intense myself so when I like someone so much that I behave like that then it's reassuring if they behave the same way. I once met a Leo who I fancied like mad and she went crazy for me too. We spent 8.5 years together!

Posted by tiki33

... but if you like her enough to say something about it she will appreciate your honesty and change.

Well that's the thing. I might be able to grow to like her, but in this specific case I'm not sufficiently attracted in the first instance that I'd welcome such an intense approach. If it were "love at first sight" for me then I'd love the "full-on" approach. Maybe I should tell her to give me some space and see what happens.

click to expand

Aquas are mentally sensitive and I can't actually speak directly for her but being I have dealt with these kind of situations in my past, there is a huge possibility that she sense that your attraction level is not equal to her attraction level to you so she's attempting to help you be attracted to her by spending more time together which usually fails.

I agree....you should tell her to give you some space or you can ignore her and only answer her calls/text randomly as in when you feel like dealing with her and eventually she will catch on that your not completely available and get the hint and slow down or stop altogether.

I'm biased completely as I'm an aquarius and the man who affected me and changed me in some fundamental ways was a virgo. And I know that I scared him off on the day when I was bared my emotional soul that I usually ignore. We were not the same after this. This was a while ago and I've moved on. I'm happy in my own skin now though and that relationship set off a chain reaction for alot of what I study and do now. So as I said, as an aquarius female, I am all for virgo men. (In fact I swear I became real life friends with a man my age simply because I wanted to keep getting a virgo perspective. There are no benefits, we are simply old school type friends.) The ex and I dated for years, but either way we broke up last year and he told me to go find a hobby or something interesting to do. I did and he was right, so I give the man props for calling me on my own erratic behavior.

So my best advise in this matter is simply to tell her that you are not looking for a woman who is not emotionally honest with herself. Tell her that you are slightly interested in how she lives her life on a day to day manner BUT you are not looking for anything quick or dishonest. If she sees that you value genuine people and she is willing to be genuine then you will see her again. And I'd mention that she's being way to pushy with you. I respect the honesty of a virgo.