Aquarian kiddo advice

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by 13579 on Sunday, May 5, 2019 and has 23 replies.
I have been blessed with an amazing Aquarius daughter. She is very clever, loving, generous, and an all-around free spirit. She is in 1st grade and is having a difficult time with her studies as she doesn't try. I asked her why she doesn't try and she said she doesn't care. I understand her stubborn nature and she would need to be the one to even want to do it and I know me telling her to do it won't help much. Lately, we've been butting heads when it comes to getting her homework completed. I am seeking advice on how to go about getting her motivated to want to do the work. She is not dumb and is very smart and capable. She understands the work, she just won't put forth any effort. I don't want to kill her free-spirit attitude nor do I want to limit her out-of-the-box thinking but demonstrating to the teacher she understands basic mathematical concepts is a big deal and her lack of effort is really hurting her.
Frankly honework at that age is pointless...

Bigger picture, is she anxious? Lack of trying is typically due to performance anxiety.

In what way is she falling behind? Is her teacher concerned?
I just woke up out of my sleep. It's 4:49 am, so pardon me. I'm not fully awake, hopefully this is intelligible. lol I may need to explain this better later.

1. In general, most highly intelligent kids that are not putting forth effort, are usually too advanced for the curriculum. Many of those kids have skipped a grade. Aqua kids can be lazy in school for that reason. Your issue is usually the commencement of that revelation. Happened to me.

2. Aqua kids don't want to be boggled down with tedious things that will hinder or cut in on the time to do things that they enjoy. She may feel that school work is infringing on her "me time" and "me time" is very important to us. Actually, children aren't getting time to be children. School work and homework now spans up to a child's bedtime.

Here's an example of how I was in school. From like 4th grade and throughout high school, I would do my homework in class, while the teacher was teaching. I didn't want to do anything involving school, when I got home. I would lock my books in the locker, so I wouldn't have to carry anything on whatever adventure, that I wasn't supposed to be taking, after school. I would be sure to get perfect scores on all my tests and homework, so that I wouldn't have to do, "take home projects". Projects usually were 10% - 20% of the semester grade. Sad

Anyway, Aqua kids need to be spoken to like adults. Ask her what her plans are for the future. Give her scenarios on how her classwork will affect her in the future/in adult life. Explain to her that practicality is an important aid to her intelligence, in her path to success. Aquas usually become very disciplined on our own, when we understand how it will apply to our aspirations. We often become sticklers for most things.

Lastly, don't pressure her, baby her just a little. Compromise and let her play or do something she elects to do before homework on Mondays and Fridays or something of that nature.

Also, what @Jade_Alexander posted is something to look into as well.





Posted by Bll

Have you tried rewarding her if she finishes her homework? Like, buying her something small that she wants if she promises to do her work, or something like that. When she starts doing the work and sees that she’s capable, she’ll hopefully feel better and want to put more effort in. It worked on my gemini brother, and now you don’t even have to tell him to work, he will sit for hours with his homework because he loves getting compliments from us and his teachers, and he no longer needs the material rewards to feel motivated.


I’m a kindergarten teacher, and we have one aqua girl in my class who often refuses to participate in group activities. Seems like she finds them silly, or she’s just shy. She seems like a very happy girl to me, just very independent and prefers to play in smaller groups, like with only one or two other people. But yea, I think she’s shy or insecure, so she needs me to hold her hand and help her out when we’re playing in bigger groups, and then she seems to enjoy it. I don’t know if this is helpful at all, I just think Jade_Alexander might be onto something, so I thought I’d share
Rewarding her for doing something that she's suppose to do will most likely make her spoiled and irresponsible. You even mentioned that the Gem is now reliant on praise.

This is cute! It most likely is both. Aquas are very mature as children. We're not as sophisticated when we reach adulthood. lol
Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
She's probably bored. The school curriculum isn't too inspiring and I had the same issues with our son. He was so glad to get out and have freedom to pursue his goals...

What age is she?
Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
click to expand
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
click to expand
Oh right

I was talking about rewarding communication, as in " i know you found that difficult, so well done"

The life coaching will be centred around younger people...I feel they are the ones that need the most help.

Are you a teacher?
Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
Oh right

I was talking about rewarding communication, as in " i know you found that difficult, so well done"

The life coaching will be centred around younger people...I feel they are the ones that need the most help.

Are you a teacher?
click to expand
Yes, I am a kindergarten teacher. I may be strict because I have high expectations, but I have a very good class because of it. That’s called positive praise. I’m in favor of that. I do occasionally reward my students for good behavior. In this case, I see her child beginning a bad habit that needs to be corrected. When my students do not finish class work, they complete it during free choice time before they can play. Now that it’s the end of the year, all students get their work done on time. They learned from taking away a reward. This isn’t recess, but extra play time partially centered around academics.
Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
Oh right

I was talking about rewarding communication, as in " i know you found that difficult, so well done"

The life coaching will be centred around younger people...I feel they are the ones that need the most help.

Are you a teacher?
Yes, I am a kindergarten teacher. I may be strict because I have high expectations, but I have a very good class because of it. That’s called positive praise. I’m in favor of that. I do occasionally reward my students for good behavior. In this case, I see her child beginning a bad habit that needs to be corrected. When my students do not finish class work, they complete it during free choice time before they can play. Now that it’s the end of the year, all students get their work done on time. They learned from taking away a reward. This isn’t recess, but extra play time partially centered around academics.
click to expand
Do you have your own kids? Different ballgame altogether....

Sounds like you're doing a good job! 👍

My parenting style was different to other people, but it seems to have worked...❤️
Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
Oh right

I was talking about rewarding communication, as in " i know you found that difficult, so well done"

The life coaching will be centred around younger people...I feel they are the ones that need the most help.

Are you a teacher?
Yes, I am a kindergarten teacher. I may be strict because I have high expectations, but I have a very good class because of it. That’s called positive praise. I’m in favor of that. I do occasionally reward my students for good behavior. In this case, I see her child beginning a bad habit that needs to be corrected. When my students do not finish class work, they complete it during free choice time before they can play. Now that it’s the end of the year, all students get their work done on time. They learned from taking away a reward. This isn’t recess, but extra play time partially centered around academics.
Do you have your own kids? Different ballgame altogether....

Sounds like you're doing a good job! 👍

My parenting style was different to other people, but it seems to have worked...❤️
click to expand
Nope, I don’t have my own kids. It sounds like you did a good job with your own kids! There’s tons of strategies to use. Finding what works is sometimes the hardest part. I think the most important things are positive relationships and respect. But I also realize kids are kids and you can’t always change them.
Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.
Not true

Always reward good behaviour .. I'm training to be a life coach and one of the main lessons they put across is to reward good behaviour. It encourages a person to do better and be better.....
The reward is good grades. The reward is intelligence. Rewards can be earned. But not for homework. Not for respect. It’s expected they do these things because it’s the right thing to do, not because they get something of value from it. I see it in young kids every day. They use this sort of manipulation to get whatever they want and when they don’t, they throw a tantrum until they get it. Then parents wonder why their children are difficult. As a life coach, I think your ideas relate more for adults with more maturity. Not very young children who are new to school and learning fundamental life lessons.
Oh right

I was talking about rewarding communication, as in " i know you found that difficult, so well done"

The life coaching will be centred around younger people...I feel they are the ones that need the most help.

Are you a teacher?
Yes, I am a kindergarten teacher. I may be strict because I have high expectations, but I have a very good class because of it. That’s called positive praise. I’m in favor of that. I do occasionally reward my students for good behavior. In this case, I see her child beginning a bad habit that needs to be corrected. When my students do not finish class work, they complete it during free choice time before they can play. Now that it’s the end of the year, all students get their work done on time. They learned from taking away a reward. This isn’t recess, but extra play time partially centered around academics.
Do you have your own kids? Different ballgame altogether....

Sounds like you're doing a good job! 👍

My parenting style was different to other people, but it seems to have worked...❤️
Nope, I don’t have my own kids. It sounds like you did a good job with your own kids! There’s tons of strategies to use. Finding what works is sometimes the hardest part. I think the most important things are positive relationships and respect. But I also realize kids are kids and you can’t always change them.
click to expand
You can never change them lol.......or any one else

Only yourself....😊
Posted by 13579

I have been blessed with an amazing Aquarius daughter. She is very clever, loving, generous, and an all-around free spirit. She is in 1st grade and is having a difficult time with her studies as she doesn't try. I asked her why she doesn't try and she said she doesn't care. I understand her stubborn nature and she would need to be the one to even want to do it and I know me telling her to do it won't help much. Lately, we've been butting heads when it comes to getting her homework completed. I am seeking advice on how to go about getting her motivated to want to do the work. She is not dumb and is very smart and capable. She understands the work, she just won't put forth any effort. I don't want to kill her free-spirit attitude nor do I want to limit her out-of-the-box thinking but demonstrating to the teacher she understands basic mathematical concepts is a big deal and her lack of effort is really hurting her.
She sounds exactly how I used to be (Aqua is my second dominant sign; my Venus and Mercury are in Aqua). Except that my mother was not as understanding and appreciative as you are. In fact, she quite the contrary...a bully, but her approach didn't work. I'm trying to explain how I've considered school...

The daily homework and reading the lessons at home, when we were "forced" to go through them at school were pretty pointless. I used to "do" my homework during the break before the respective class...I quickly copied it from someone else. Most but not all teachers disliked me, so in response I didn't care about their opinion any longer. My classmates...I had my own group who knew and respected me. No need to for any extra effort there.

The point is, each time I had to put an effort that really matter, I did it! "Really matter" was important to me. It was about achieving high scores to get into the next stage. I don't know how is in your country, but we had a sort of competition age 14, 16 and 18 for the best schools and classes. Having the experience of learning the lessons within a few minutes during breaks, I was an expert at learning a lot in a very short time! This was probably the most useful skill I acquired in school, lol.

Here I was, the "tail of the class", as my mother used to call me, outcompeting the top of the class. I always got into the best schools and classes, them stopped learning with the same intensity that made me get there. Why would I? My colleague were among the best in town, the sort of prodigies that eat and breath school lessons, lol. I was not like them. A sprinter, not a marathon runner!

I don't have a lot of advice for you. Nurture the vision of who she wants to be in the future...I wanted to be a scientist. Make sure she known what it takes to get there...which subjects, exams, how big the competition is. Offer to help if you can.

When I was 17 and preparing to pass the admission exams for the University of choice, my mother asked a distant nephew, (student in physics) to help me recapitulate the physics required (about 3 years of taught material in school). She paid him two hours per week for one year. It was the best idea she ever had. I was crushing on this guy (a Sag, second cousin of mine), so for the first time in my life, I had the motivation to impress someone. And I certainly did! He only had praise for me.... Moreover, attaining my academic dreams looked now in touching distance. And I did really well. It took that little to transform the girl I was.
Posted by Jade_Alexander

Frankly honework at that age is pointless...

Bigger picture, is she anxious? Lack of trying is typically due to performance anxiety.

In what way is she falling behind? Is her teacher concerned?

I agree with homework bring pointless but it's assigned because there have been complaints from other parents about the lack of homework. I haven't observed anxiety in her but kids are different at school vs at home. The teacher has expressed concern regarding mathematics and that she isn't meeting the minimum expectation of a 1st grader. I work with her at home and she knows the material. She needs to care enough to do it in school as well. Tricky.
Posted by STILL

I just woke up out of my sleep. It's 4:49 am, so pardon me. I'm not fully awake, hopefully this is intelligible. lol I may need to explain this better later.

1. In general, most highly intelligent kids that are not putting forth effort, are usually too advanced for the curriculum. Many of those kids have skipped a grade. Aqua kids can be lazy in school for that reason. Your issue is usually the commencement of that revelation. Happened to me.

2. Aqua kids don't want to be boggled down with tedious things that will hinder or cut in on the time to do things that they enjoy. She may feel that school work is infringing on her "me time" and "me time" is very important to us. Actually, children aren't getting time to be children. School work and homework now spans up to a child's bedtime.

Here's an example of how I was in school. From like 4th grade and throughout high school, I would do my homework in class, while the teacher was teaching. I didn't want to do anything involving school, when I got home. I would lock my books in the locker, so I wouldn't have to carry anything on whatever adventure, that I wasn't supposed to be taking, after school. I would be sure to get perfect scores on all my tests and homework, so that I wouldn't have to do, "take home projects". Projects usually were 10% - 20% of the semester grade. Sad

Anyway, Aqua kids need to be spoken to like adults. Ask her what her plans are for the future. Give her scenarios on how her classwork will affect her in the future/in adult life. Explain to her that practicality is an important aid to her intelligence, in her path to success. Aquas usually become very disciplined on our own, when we understand how it will apply to our aspirations. We often become sticklers for most things.

Lastly, don't pressure her, baby her just a little. Compromise and let her play or do something she elects to do before homework on Mondays and Fridays or something of that nature.

Also, what @Jade_Alexander posted is something to look into as well.






thank you for the feedback. I asked her this morning about her expectations of "me time" and she said that once school is out, learning is done for the day. When there are no scheduled sport practices or music lessons, she is outside or in her bedroom. I generally let her go about her business and do what she wants (within reason). My husband is very goal-oriented and he will ask what she wants to do when she grows up and she says she wants to travel and see new things. We tell her that she has to know math so she's not ripped off or she'll run out of money. Doesn't phase her. She always has a smart comment back "that's ok, you will send me money". It just doesn't seem to click with her yet.
Posted by Bll

Have you tried rewarding her if she finishes her homework? Like, buying her something small that she wants if she promises to do her work, or something like that. When she starts doing the work and sees that she’s capable, she’ll hopefully feel better and want to put more effort in. It worked on my gemini brother, and now you don’t even have to tell him to work, he will sit for hours with his homework because he loves getting compliments from us and his teachers, and he no longer needs the material rewards to feel motivated.

I’m a kindergarten teacher, and we have one aqua girl in my class who often refuses to participate in group activities. Seems like she finds them silly, or she’s just shy. She seems like a very happy girl to me, just very independent and prefers to play in smaller groups, like with only one or two other people. But yea, I think she’s shy or insecure, so she needs me to hold her hand and help her out when we’re playing in bigger groups, and then she seems to enjoy it. I don’t know if this is helpful at all, I just think Jade_Alexander might be onto something, so I thought I’d share

you pointed out something interesting. I don't know how she is in group work. I will have to ask her teacher. I know they do a lot of group work in class but she doesn't mention it. I wonder if that may be thing that affects her in a way? Thank you for your input!
Posted by pinkbird03

Tell her she can’t do anything until her homework is done. You’re the parent, the adult. Set the boundaries. Because right now, she’s in control and it should be you.

And definitely don’t include a reward. Because rewards are a way for kids to manipulate you. They want more and more and bigger and better. Don’t make that mistake.

I agree with you. I'm trying to go about this in a diplomatic way without resorting to aggressive tactics. My oldest lives for praise and does whatever is expected of her whereas my little Aqua doesn't give a shit about expectations so it's a different kind of difficult.
Posted by MyStarsShine

She's probably bored. The school curriculum isn't too inspiring and I had the same issues with our son. He was so glad to get out and have freedom to pursue his goals...

What age is she?

she is 7years old. I may have to tell her that "yeah, it's boring but you just gotta do it so you can move on to what you really wanna do."



I haven't really done the reward system but after reading that it should be for good behavior , it makes sense in that if an individual performs well in their job, they are rewarded with a pay raise. In that sense, it would make sense to reward the good behavior. Interesting insight. Thank you!
Posted by 13579

Posted by STILL

I just woke up out of my sleep. It's 4:49 am, so pardon me. I'm not fully awake, hopefully this is intelligible. lol I may need to explain this better later.

1. In general, most highly intelligent kids that are not putting forth effort, are usually too advanced for the curriculum. Many of those kids have skipped a grade. Aqua kids can be lazy in school for that reason. Your issue is usually the commencement of that revelation. Happened to me.

2. Aqua kids don't want to be boggled down with tedious things that will hinder or cut in on the time to do things that they enjoy. She may feel that school work is infringing on her "me time" and "me time" is very important to us. Actually, children aren't getting time to be children. School work and homework now spans up to a child's bedtime.

Here's an example of how I was in school. From like 4th grade and throughout high school, I would do my homework in class, while the teacher was teaching. I didn't want to do anything involving school, when I got home. I would lock my books in the locker, so I wouldn't have to carry anything on whatever adventure, that I wasn't supposed to be taking, after school. I would be sure to get perfect scores on all my tests and homework, so that I wouldn't have to do, "take home projects". Projects usually were 10% - 20% of the semester grade. Sad

Anyway, Aqua kids need to be spoken to like adults. Ask her what her plans are for the future. Give her scenarios on how her classwork will affect her in the future/in adult life. Explain to her that practicality is an important aid to her intelligence, in her path to success. Aquas usually become very disciplined on our own, when we understand how it will apply to our aspirations. We often become sticklers for most things.

Lastly, don't pressure her, baby her just a little. Compromise and let her play or do something she elects to do before homework on Mondays and Fridays or something of that nature.

Also, what @Jade_Alexander posted is something to look into as well.






thank you for the feedback. I asked her this morning about her expectations of "me time" and she said that once school is out, learning is done for the day. When there are no scheduled sport practices or music lessons, she is outside or in her bedroom. I generally let her go about her business and do what she wants (within reason). My husband is very goal-oriented and he will ask what she wants to do when she grows up and she says she wants to travel and see new things. We tell her that she has to know math so she's not ripped off or she'll run out of money. Doesn't phase her. She always has a smart comment back "that's ok, you will send me money". It just doesn't seem to click with her yet.
click to expand
Lol She sounds just like an Aqua kid. Sorry she’s so stubborn. I love how patience you seem to be with her.

She is just humoring you guys, when she says “that’s ok, you will send me money”. She’s smart and knows that she won’t get ripped out. That’s kids talk to her. She knows the difference in doing something for school purposes and knowing how to apply it in real life. She knows the math, she just doesn’t see a need in doing homework.

You have to elaborate to get through to her. Let her know that doing the homework gives her practice in discipline and also that repetitiveness will help her with retention.

Explain to her how learning to follow some rules (sometimes) will take her further than being a rebel without a cause. She has to learn that there is a time a place for it. My co-workers call me a rebel at my current job, but I’ve learned when to hold’em, when to fold’em and when to walk away. They benefit from it, so they love me.

Btw, it’s my pleasure to help out with other Aquas. I love my kind, even if no one else does.

Posted by Undine

Posted by 13579

I have been blessed with an amazing Aquarius daughter. She is very clever, loving, generous, and an all-around free spirit. She is in 1st grade and is having a difficult time with her studies as she doesn't try. I asked her why she doesn't try and she said she doesn't care. I understand her stubborn nature and she would need to be the one to even want to do it and I know me telling her to do it won't help much. Lately, we've been butting heads when it comes to getting her homework completed. I am seeking advice on how to go about getting her motivated to want to do the work. She is not dumb and is very smart and capable. She understands the work, she just won't put forth any effort. I don't want to kill her free-spirit attitude nor do I want to limit her out-of-the-box thinking but demonstrating to the teacher she understands basic mathematical concepts is a big deal and her lack of effort is really hurting her.
She sounds exactly how I used to be (Aqua is my second dominant sign; my Venus and Mercury are in Aqua). Except that my mother was not as understanding and appreciative as you are. In fact, she quite the contrary...a bully, but her approach didn't work. I'm trying to explain how I've considered school...

The daily homework and reading the lessons at home, when we were "forced" to go through them at school were pretty pointless. I used to "do" my homework during the break before the respective class...I quickly copied it from someone else. Most but not all teachers disliked me, so in response I didn't care about their opinion any longer. My classmates...I had my own group who knew and respected me. No need to for any extra effort there.

The point is, each time I had to put an effort that really matter, I did it! "Really matter" was important to me. It was about achieving high scores to get into the next stage. I don't know how is in your country, but we had a sort of competition age 14, 16 and 18 for the best schools and classes. Having the experience of learning the lessons within a few minutes during breaks, I was an expert at learning a lot in a very short time! This was probably the most useful skill I acquired in school, lol.

Here I was, the "tail of the class", as my mother used to call me, outcompeting the top of the class. I always got into the best schools and classes, them stopped learning with the same intensity that made me get there. Why would I? My colleague were among the best in town, the sort of prodigies that eat and breath school lessons, lol. I was not like them. A sprinter, not a marathon runner!

I don't have a lot of advice for you. Nurture the vision of who she wants to be in the future...I wanted to be a scientist. Make sure she known what it takes to get there...which subjects, exams, how big the competition is. Offer to help if you can.

When I was 17 and preparing to pass the admission exams for the University of choice, my mother asked a distant nephew, (student in physics) to help me recapitulate the physics required (about 3 years of taught material in school). She paid him two hours per week for one year. It was the best idea she ever had. I was crushing on this guy (a Sag, second cousin of mine), so for the first time in my life, I had the motivation to impress someone. And I certainly did! He only had praise for me.... Moreover, attaining my academic dreams looked now in touching distance. And I did really well. It took that little to transform the girl I was.
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thank you for your personal experience! I will have to talk with her more about what the envisions for her future. I do know she wants to travel and be an artist. She has said that she doesn't need math to be an artist so she doesn't care for it. I tell her she needs to know this stuff or she will be in elementary forever and will never travel. It is comforting to know that she is stubborn enough to stick to her convictions and she will/does work hard for what interests her. I will offer help when I can and if she will accept it.
Maybe try a sticker book? For every week she does good she gets a fun sticker to collect and stick to her book. You can go with her and let her decide which stickers to buy
Posted by Bll

Posted by STILL

Posted by 13579

Posted by STILL

I just woke up out of my sleep. It's 4:49 am, so pardon me. I'm not fully awake, hopefully this is intelligible. lol I may need to explain this better later.

1. In general, most highly intelligent kids that are not putting forth effort, are usually too advanced for the curriculum. Many of those kids have skipped a grade. Aqua kids can be lazy in school for that reason. Your issue is usually the commencement of that revelation. Happened to me.

2. Aqua kids don't want to be boggled down with tedious things that will hinder or cut in on the time to do things that they enjoy. She may feel that school work is infringing on her "me time" and "me time" is very important to us. Actually, children aren't getting time to be children. School work and homework now spans up to a child's bedtime.

Here's an example of how I was in school. From like 4th grade and throughout high school, I would do my homework in class, while the teacher was teaching. I didn't want to do anything involving school, when I got home. I would lock my books in the locker, so I wouldn't have to carry anything on whatever adventure, that I wasn't supposed to be taking, after school. I would be sure to get perfect scores on all my tests and homework, so that I wouldn't have to do, "take home projects". Projects usually were 10% - 20% of the semester grade. Sad

Anyway, Aqua kids need to be spoken to like adults. Ask her what her plans are for the future. Give her scenarios on how her classwork will affect her in the future/in adult life. Explain to her that practicality is an important aid to her intelligence, in her path to success. Aquas usually become very disciplined on our own, when we understand how it will apply to our aspirations. We often become sticklers for most things.

Lastly, don't pressure her, baby her just a little. Compromise and let her play or do something she elects to do before homework on Mondays and Fridays or something of that nature.

Also, what @Jade_Alexander posted is something to look into as well.






thank you for the feedback. I asked her this morning about her expectations of "me time" and she said that once school is out, learning is done for the day. When there are no scheduled sport practices or music lessons, she is outside or in her bedroom. I generally let her go about her business and do what she wants (within reason). My husband is very goal-oriented and he will ask what she wants to do when she grows up and she says she wants to travel and see new things. We tell her that she has to know math so she's not ripped off or she'll run out of money. Doesn't phase her. She always has a smart comment back "that's ok, you will send me money". It just doesn't seem to click with her yet.
Lol She sounds just like an Aqua kid. Sorry she’s so stubborn. I love how patience you seem to be with her.

She is just humoring you guys, when she says “that’s ok, you will send me money”. She’s smart and knows that she won’t get ripped out. That’s kids talk to her. She knows the difference in doing something for school purposes and knowing how to apply it in real life. She knows the math, she just doesn’t see a need in doing homework.

You have to elaborate to get through to her. Let her know that doing the homework gives her practice in discipline and also that repetitiveness is the key to learning.

Explain to her how learning to follow some rules (sometimes) will take her further than being a rebel without a cause. She has to learn that there is a time a place for it. My co-workers call me a rebel at my current job, but I’ve learned when to hold’em, when to fold’em and when to walk away. They benefit from it, so they love me.

Btw, it’s my pleasure to help out with other Aquas. I love my kind, even if no one else does.

Yup. I often tell the kids at work stories from my own life, life lessons I’ve learned, if it’s relevant to a conflict they’re having themself. Regardless of sign, they usually listen, and it gets them thinking.
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Im sure it does. Kids respond more favorably if they feel you're relatable.