Aquarians and marriage

I don't know how to begin but here is the scoop, after a little more then 2 years with my boyfriend I am ready for more of a commitment (proposal), he on the other hand is not there yet. He says he loves me, likes me a lot, and knows that he wants to be with me. He has said that he is too old (30 yrs old) to be playing around and having girlfriends just to have them, to trust him and let him be and that everything that I want will happen. To my knowledge he has been faithful, as well. He is an Aquarius and I am a Scorpio, not sure if this has anything to do with this but it has helped reading about his sign a lot on these forums. We were friends for about a year before he acknowledged that he was my boyfriend (it was a little hard at first, but now I realize it is in his nature to not rush into things), however when asked how long we have been together he says its been 2 years (I guess the year of friendship is considered being together now). What makes this situation a little uneasy is that I am living at home, so no spending the night at his house; I am trying to save my money right now, but I have mentioned to him that I would like to move out soon and he says that I should not, to calm down, though he doesn't say why. I'd love to live with him, he's just mentioned this too, but I can't get myself to do it before being married or engaged. I am having a really difficult time accepting that he is not ready for this commitment; maybe someone out there can give me a bit of advice. I love him, we have the greatest time together, though we do have our arguments but our main one is this commitment I want. I don't know what to do, lately I've been constantly bringing it up, this has done me no good. I would like to be more patient, but not knowing when if this may even happen is hard for me. Help anyone with a bit of advice or similar experience please comment.

Hi Primegen, I am 26, will turn 27 this November.

honestly as an Aqua I don't care to much for marriage so I can see why he's apprehensive, I would listen to him and back off a bit, the fact that he thinks he's too old to get married means he's not interested in getting married at all, he's not ready and he really wants you to drop the subject and relax.

I would suggest you focus more on yourself, get your own place, catch up with new and old friends, pay off some debt, if you need to improve your physical health in some way then focus on that, this will make you look much more attractive not jus physically but mentally and will draw him closer to you, right now you seem needy and this is a relationship killer, another relationship killer is focusing too much on him b/c some Aquas hate this, it makes us feel smothered and boxed in, he know what your intentions are so let him figure it out and he can't do this if your breathing on him about it...sorry If I sound harsh but I'm going to keep it real with you...if you wanna keep him, do everything that you wanna do without him and he will pick up and fixate on you more.

be prepared to walk away from him, some aquas don't want it until its gone and out of reach, if he's not ready or doesn't feel your the one then you need not waste anymore time with him, 30 isn't too old to get married, theres something missing in the relationship that is making him not want it, take an overview of what may be missing, is it passion, intimacy, flirting, communication, find your weaknesses and strengthen them with him, arguing is a relationship killer too, if you don't agree with him don't argue about it, let him have that one and move on to the next issue.

Take an assessment of were you are now and were you would like to be in the future and move towards that, don't let the relationship be stagnant...if he still doesn't want it after you have taken steps to improve your life and improve the relationship...well you know the end result of that

My aqua wants us to get married next summer, As an aqua myself, I dont have a problem with marriage, I want children at some point, and I wont have them if im not married.
we are moving in together next month..and I would rather be engaged as its the correct and nicer, but he's decided christmas for an engagment, I leave things to him, I dont nag, pester, or ask questions, I just float along.He prefers me like that, so generally, its probably the best approach with Aqua
As Tiki said I think being relaxed is the best approach you can have. TIkI is right, focus on yourself...something has to be missing though from the relationship, if he's not commiting in gerneral(not marriage) So I would go off and do your own thing...

He didnt say 30 is too old to get married....he said its too old to be dating just to date.

other than that, your either going to have to be patient or leave.

Thanks Tiki33 and everyone for your advice, I have noticed I have been "needy", I don't like this side of me at all, I didn't even know I had it until I started dating this aqua guy. I really do like him and do not want to lose him over this. Marriage is something I really want, but not just with anyone. I will take some of your advice and see what happens in the next few months. I would think that flirting is one of my weaknesses with him. Worse thing is that after our argument yesterday, I am getting the silent treatment now. Its painful.

Thanks Tiki33 and everyone for your advice, I have noticed I have been "needy", I don't like this side of me at all, I didn't even know I had it until I started dating this aqua guy. I really do like him and do not want to lose him over this. Marriage is something I really want, but not just with anyone. I will take some of your advice and see what happens in the next few months. I would think that flirting is one of my weaknesses with him. Worse thing is that after our argument yesterday, I am getting the silent treatment now. Its painful.

scorpianrose,

just pretend you dont need him😉

The most effective thing to do is look at your negatives and strengthen them, if your needy then look at why and begin to do things that make you feel good about yourself, he senses weakness and he doesn't want a woman that is emotoinally relying on him for emotional food, also if you can mirror back his behavior such as ignoring him then do so, Aquas HATE being ignored, so try that, just distance yourself and you will see a huge change in him, I helped someone on this site get back on track with her Aqua so if you need help jus email me and i will help you out the best way I can....fyi I'm a little harsh when it comes to advice but its effective LOL!! Just a forewarning (:

I will try 🙂Elly, though now I wish I would not have brought up the commitment issue stuff, because he is commited, and I realize I have over done this; somehow I just need some kind of proof, but I think I am going about it the wrong way.

well if you never talk about it again that would be a great start *giggling* your in the negative zone....relax and don't bring it up again and he may open up to you about it.

Tikki33 you sound just like him. I am in the negative 😢

yeah scorpionrose your in the negative but not for long so relax and keep hitting me back with those emails and we gone work this out *giggling*

scorpionrose...

i am also dating an aqua male (3 yrs. now), and i am sort of in the same predicament...he moved across country a month ago for work, and he is now wanting me to move out there to be with him. his move was only supposed to be temporary, 1 yr. or 2, but know he is pretty sure that it is permanently his new home and his new "life"...SO, he keeps on asking me what we should do. and honestly, i know that he is the one for me, but i am not too keen on moving in with a guy at this point in my life without a solid commitment, or a ring on my finger 🙂
i have been thinking about it all, and i think i am just going to put it off for a while, as i am in no rush to up and leave my life to live out there with him. and hopefully, eventually he will miss me enough to committ first before having me move out there!!!

oh, and listen to miss tiki...she knows what she is talking about!

5-10 years...i don't think so 😉

i don't really want to be 40 when i have the little ones running around!!!

nah no backdoor routes with Aquas we are stubborn and can hold on to resentment, he's either going to do it b/c he wants it or the woman should let it go.

😉

aquaaqi...i am not SO overly concerned about getting married. i would love to get married one day, but if i don't it is not the end of the world....BUT i do want to have children and i am a little old fashioned in my ways and i believe that it is morally correct to be married before having children with someone. that is my concern.
i understand that marriage is just a piece of paper and that two people can have a deep, loving relationship without getting married...i completely agree! and, if i do get married one day i do NOT want a wedding...i think it is a waste of money and it defeats the meaning of what marriage really is about.

oh, and i am going to be turning 29 ...not quite 33 yet! i am still young and i have a couple of years to go before children 🙂

yeah, it's just that i have told myself that i am not going to live with a guy again unless there is a commitment there first. and, it would be especially hard to give up my life and move across country without some sort of a commitment for the future. i need to know that there is something more to come...

i will get married,when the right time comes,whats the fuss.
do most aquas avoid marriage talk?

"People are together, because they want to be together. But that can change at any time, whether married or not."

i completely agree...it's just that i am not going to be so quick to move across country to live with him and give up all that i have here. i need to think it over for a bit. i mean, he didn't ask me to move with him when he still lived here and had the opportunity to do so...and now, he has come to a realization. well, i need my time now to come to a realization 🙂

"i will get married,when the right time comes,whats the fuss."

"when the right time comes" being the operative words!!! but, you are right...you should do it when you are ready to...no rush.

For the record, a good friend of mine is a male Aqua and he dated his now Scorpio wife for over 10 years before he committed to marriage. She wanted to get married, but he wasn't ready. She didn't pester him, just was always there for him .... yes sometimes he took that for granted, but in then it worked out. They got married last year and now are expecting their first child. They are very happy.

Yes moon, I think you should go, It seems you've been waiting for something to happen for long enough...
I was living in a differnent part of Greece theyn my boyfriends when we met, Id already decided to go home to the UK and spend 6 months there. The place in Greece that im moving to next month, is a place im not familer with, i've never lived there, my greek friends of five years live a two hour plane ride away... I think for me personally the risk is worth it, I won't or can't blame him later if I dont like the place, as i agreed to go, however Im prepared to live anyway for us to be together... it depends how much you want to be with him .... ive made a huge move to do this....I always think you should Do what scares you....

well, the positive side of me moving to where he is at, is that i grew up there and spent the first 13 yrs. of my life there, so in a sense it is still "home" to me. i still have a handful of really, really GOOD friends there who are like family to me. and the area is familiar to me, so it is not some strange far away place where i don't know anything or anyone. and, in a way it is actually kind of ironic that he ended up moving to a place very close to where i grew up...hmmm!

Just Go !!!!!!

even better that you know the area, you have great friends there...... Dont let it slip, otherwise you'll both move in different directions, or meet new people

prime...no, i went to college in Tucson...but, i grew up in New Jersey. Moved to AZ when i was 13 yrs old...but, i still go back to Jeresy every year or so to visit all of my friends there.

i'm a jersey girl 😉

he is living in Cherry Hill, which is near Philidelphia...
i grew up in north Jersey, about 15 minutes from NYC

I know it happens, but thats a really sad way of looking at things' someones going to clear you out'! How an earth would marriage change your prespective if you didnt trust the person in the first place? A prenup ? I dont really agree on living together without some kind of commitment either, but I certainly wouldnt live with someone thinking 'if things go wrong , I may loose my TV & blender, or we'll have to split the furniture in half....where's the trust gone?

"Notice it is mainly women saying just be together"

And MOON has been waiting for some kind of commitment, which he's proposing....seeming as marriage is not on the cards, and she wants it to work, its a good option, if she wants a further commitment from him, like a verbal promise of eng/marriage ... its more or less the same, he could break his verbal 6 months down the line anyway.....right?

"In fact my lawyer was telling me the new trend among rich men is that they have a relationship contract"
I put this out in my office....and their response is that most people go into a relationship thinging " well its not going to last anyway" So it wasnt just an american thing , as i thought) I know you guys can divorce your parents, or sue Mc Donalds if it makes you fat) -but seems like the general mindset at work here, is in agreement..What a sad world we live in...maybe im just niaeve?

Love for Sun in Aquarius

Even though you love freedom, love will lead you to choose strong, possessive and dominant people, to whom you will give yourself passionately and totally. In time you will feel the need to be independent and have your own space which could generate a crisis. You need others to have confidence in you and to encourage your personal progress. You look for a lifetime companion and not necessarily a wife or husband in the traditional sense. You like intelligent, special and atypical relationships.

were are u finding this stuff...man that sounds like me to a T.

"You look for a lifetime companion and not necessarily a wife or husband in the traditional sense. You like intelligent, special and atypical relationships."

Its true, but when you have Venus in cap you tend to be a bit traditional and perhaps seek a marriage.

Yes, I do like intelligent men...VERY much.

so, i thought that my horoscope for today on Canier's website was quite appropriate, and ties in with my situation and this thread pretty well!! read on...


CANCER
(Jun 23 - Jul 23)
When the moment is right, when the opportunity is present, when the time has come, when the stars are aligned, when push has come to shove, when... well... when all the correct conditions have been fulfilled, you'll know. Though you could be waiting a long time for that, you could also find that you're not waiting long at all. Indeed, you may well find that, within the next few days, you have begun to turn your corner, cross your Rubicon, find your flow, get into your stride and hit your target. In your latest in-depth week-ahead prediction you'll see that life is about to bring you something truly special.

*Cainer's website...oops!

nah no marriage for me lady M...I would go INSANE lol!!

I always say I would try it but I don't think its for me, I don't count it out though..I sure don't look for it and I sweat when men talk about it, I mean literally my throat closes up LOL!

I guess thats a logical response...! Hopefully you'll be with some one nice one day , who will never do such things!

i have not come across many aqua feminists...Im not much for feminism

"i have not come across many aqua feminists...Im not much for feminism"

-really— you haven't...it seems that all the aqua ladies i know are all "i am woman, hear me roar!!!"...

What about a postnup...not everyone is rich when they marry.

Aqua chicks are very possessive once they allow themselves to get hooked.

True, in a fun/flirty way I guess.

I take it you still going on strong with Ms Aqua Greatwhite.🙂

Here in Texas, the community property laws state that anything that you take into the marriage is yours, not community property. And, anything that you inherit while married is yours, not community property. So, your prized furniture is safe. Also, simply living with someone for seven years is not sufficient for a common-law marriage. The two parties involved have to represent themselves as married, and have to live as if they were married. That means a joint bank account, not dividing the bills and each pays half (pay them out of the joint account), bills in both names, car/house in both names et cetera. Simply living together is not sufficient in Texas. You have to act like you're married. And, for purposes of equitable division, the length is seven years, but for purposes of the law considering you common-law married, the length is a mere six months.

Lady_M .... yes I am still with my AQUA lady...we are engaged to be married next June. We have been together for nearly 4 years now. Nice you remembered my posts from so many months ago, wow!

Congrats GreatWhite!! 🙂

We, aqua ladies, dont have many guys here rooting for us so of course i'd remember ! 😛

lol, he's an evolved pisces. 😛

How ya been Aqi??

Lady_M are you really from 1914??