Aquarius FWB being distant

I've posted about my Aquarius fwb before and recently I've had a new situation come up where I could use some advice. We've been sleeping together about once a week for almost 4 months now. About a month ago the sex got a little boring and I put some distance between us. We texted and he told me that he knew I wasn't satisfied the last time I saw him and he wanted to make it up to me. I went over to his house and he blew me away with amazing sex and I blew him away with amazing conversation.

He completely opened up to me about his family, his career goals and his issues with his dad. Lots of personal stuff, we talked for hours. He was asking me for advice, I could tell he thought what I was saying was insightful and when I left he thanked me for a great time and great conversation.

So here's the thing, we always text every couple of days and we have sex once a week, it's been a little over a week and he hasn't asked me to come over which is kinda weird. I text him a few days after the encounter and he was being really sweet, telling me he couldn't sleep but he hoped I was being safe wherever I was, sending smiley faces and kinda being cute in text. But no invitation to come over. I text him tonight and same thing, he's being nice but won't invite me over, so my question is what is the deal?

I know you aquas need space so I haven't talked about the conversation, when I hit him up it's about sex but he won't invite me over. Did this experience ruin the fwb aspect? Was the emotion too much so he's just keeping his distance? I really wanna keep having sex on the regular but now he's backing away and I'm not sure how to go about it. Just leave him alone until he comes back around?

Maybe something else is occupying his time, like a work project, a family crises, etc. I know I'm neglectful of other areas in my life when I'm zeroing in on something else. I have tunnel vision. It all comes down to priorities & urgency.

Plus it's pretty hard to be turned on when you have other more important issues in your path. At least it is for me. Sex is not even in my top 5 list. It's like recess. I do it on my "free" time. When mentally & emotionally available. I can't be physical when I have other things on my mind.

Posted by WaterCup
Plus it's pretty hard to be turned on when you have other more important issues in your path. At least it is for me. Sex is not even in my top 5 list. It's like recess. I do it on my "free" time. When mentally & emotionally available. I can't be physical when I have other things on my mind.

thank you for the insight Watercup. I'm sure this is a really possible scenario. He's talked about how busy he is with work lately and who knows what else he has going on. I'm not stressing too much about this, I just want to make sure things can stay as they are even after him opening up like that.

Posted by Mandapants

Posted by WaterCup
Plus it's pretty hard to be turned on when you have other more important issues in your path. At least it is for me. Sex is not even in my top 5 list. It's like recess. I do it on my "free" time. When mentally & emotionally available. I can't be physical when I have other things on my mind.

thank you for the insight Watercup. I'm sure this is a really possible scenario. He's talked about how busy he is with work lately and who knows what else he has going on. I'm not stressing too much about this, I just want to make sure things can stay as they are even after him opening up like that.

click to expand

Do you like him? Ofcourse you do but I don't want to say "love" since it's still too early. What I'm trying to say is, do you have feelings for him?

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Mandapants

Posted by WaterCup
Plus it's pretty hard to be turned on when you have other more important issues in your path. At least it is for me. Sex is not even in my top 5 list. It's like recess. I do it on my "free" time. When mentally & emotionally available. I can't be physical when I have other things on my mind.

thank you for the insight Watercup. I'm sure this is a really possible scenario. He's talked about how busy he is with work lately and who knows what else he has going on. I'm not stressing too much about this, I just want to make sure things can stay as they are even after him opening up like that.

Do you like him? Ofcourse you do but I don't want to say "love" since it's still too early. What I'm trying to say is, do you have feelings for him?

click to expand

I do have feelings for him, they just really toned down when I realized the situation was just sexual and when he started being lazy about the sex with me. The conversation we had kinda has me seeing him in a new light but I'm still keeping my distance because I know it's a lot of work to develop a relationship with an aqua.

So short answer yes, but they're in check right now.

Posted by Mandapants

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Mandapants

Posted by WaterCup
Plus it's pretty hard to be turned on when you have other more important issues in your path. At least it is for me. Sex is not even in my top 5 list. It's like recess. I do it on my "free" time. When mentally & emotionally available. I can't be physical when I have other things on my mind.

thank you for the insight Watercup. I'm sure this is a really possible scenario. He's talked about how busy he is with work lately and who knows what else he has going on. I'm not stressing too much about this, I just want to make sure things can stay as they are even after him opening up like that.

Do you like him? Ofcourse you do but I don't want to say "love" since it's still too early. What I'm trying to say is, do you have feelings for him?

I do have feelings for him, they just really toned down when I realized the situation was just sexual and when he started being lazy about the sex with me. The conversation we had kinda has me seeing him in a new light but I'm still keeping my distance because I know it's a lot of work to develop a relationship with an aqua.

So short answer yes, but they're in check right now.

click to expand

Good. Continue keeping those feelings in check because you have a long way to go. Most of us don't fall easily, but when we do it's for keeps. Go with the flow. I think it's a good indicator that he is opening up to you. I'm not saying he is in love with you, but is comfortable with you. Trusts you. That's a good start imo. Everybody needs a good, trusted friend in their lover & he sees you as one if he tells you about his personal issues. Just be there & make sure he is there for you as well. Nothing worse than a man that wants to be considered when he doesnt give the same treatment in return. 50/50 & not 80/20 lol.

So he texted me again pretty late last night and he was talking about what a great time we had the last time we seen each other and he kept using the word "love." I loved how you did this, loved how you did that...he never says that. And right after we said goodnight he said, random question, are you still on any of those dating sites (because that's how we met) and I told him yes but i was probably going to delete it again. He says, well just so you know I'm probably the coolest guy you're ever going to meet.

It was all really adorable, and I do like him, and this seems like him developing feelings for me but I'm so scared! I'm guarding my heart just in case he changes his mind or something. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and see how it goes...

I concluded when I first read it the was feeling you more and back off to cool down because he thinks you only want sexual relations from him. Although he doesn't mind somewhere he caught feelings and is trying to get some type of conformation from you before he makes up his mind what to do with whatever you two have going at the moment.