Aquarius man breaking my Libra heart :(

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Spooky926 on Monday, November 30, 2015 and has 19 replies.
We were friends/colleagues for three years, and finally saw each other after a long separation in late August. Very quick, intense, amazing transition from friendship to...something more. Very close/intense/intimate sex, good times together...like we had always been together this way. He met my family (NOT) my parents and loved everything about the dynamic. He told my brother and uncle things he felt about me that he's NEVER told me. Before he flew home (we don't live in the same city), he said I was his "safe place," that he wanted to keep me around, that he wanted to make plans with me, etc. Then....nothing.

You should know that this man has been admiring and almost worshipping me from afar for three years. In all that time he has never made it a secret how incredible he thinks I am, and has always done kind and thoughtful things for me without expecting anything in return. I was in a relationship all this time and never thought of him as more than a friend, but after my relationship ended, I gave him a shot because he had been so persistent and patient. I NEVER thought I would fall so hard for him.

The vanishing act started shortly after he left about a month ago. Only sporadic texts, one or two phone calls, many of both intentionally ignored. I got fed up and sent him a VERY logical, rational, and unemotional email explaining that I had tried really hard to be patient and understanding because I knew we had such a great connection, but I needed at least some attention here and there because that's who I am. I didn't want to let go of him because he had been MY "safe place" for so long, but I was finally ready to do that. I said, "Your move." He called within minutes of receiving the email, but I was out of cell service. I'd call and he'd never answer. He called a second time, left a message, ignored my call when I called him back. We didn't communicate for a week. I texted him "Happy Thanksgiving, [name.]" and nothing until some lame reply the next day. I unfriended him on Facebook because he stalks me there and won't contact me to ask what I'm doing. Plus, I can't get over him if I see him on my feed.

I don't know if he's realized I unfriended him yet...after three years, no less. I don't know if he will care, or what he'll do. I suspect he really fell for me when he was with me for almost a month (he was already on the brink for the years leading up to our meeting). I think he has very low self-esteem and thinks he doesn't deserve me. He's had me on a pedestal for so long I think I got too close and he's more comfortable putting me back up there and stalking me. I don't know how he'll react now that I'm the one who's vanished and he can't investigate. I'm just heartbroken. Part of me wants to talk to him to get closure and find out what he was going to say after he read my email. The other part of me wants to start the healing process and never hear from him again. This is awful Sad.
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There could be several reasons.

He could be one of those who only wants what he can't have

Or practicality has set in. You guys are long distance, right? California and Florida? Aquas can be quite logical. Long distance just isn't very feasible and seldom works out for the long term. So, that could be part of the problem.

Then again, he may have just thought you're not the one afterall. Not his fault, not your fault. It just is what it is. You can't make yourself feel something that isn't there.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up. But, I do think you should just move on. Don't keep messaging and calling him. That's clingy and could be perceived as desparate. Not saying you are, just don't present yourself that way.
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Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.
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Posted by truecap
There could be several reasons.

He could be one of those who only wants what he can't have

Or practicality has set in. You guys are long distance, right? California and Florida? Aquas can be quite logical. Long distance just isn't very feasible and seldom works out for the long term. So, that could be part of the problem.

Then again, he may have just thought you're not the one afterall. Not his fault, not your fault. It just is what it is. You can't make yourself feel something that isn't there.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up. But, I do think you should just move on. Don't keep messaging and calling him. That's clingy and could be perceived as desparate. Not saying you are, just don't present yourself that way.


Believe it or not, the long distance thing is actually OK for the type of lives we lead. We both work from home, travel often for work, and have the disposable income to meet each other somewhere in conjunction to have fun and enjoy each other's company. I don't think that's it. I would completely understand if it was a situation where he felt I didn't click for him; totally fair. However, that goes against every single verbal and nonverbal message I've gotten from him. Yet, to be contrary is so Aquarian, as is to back up rapidly with no potential for confrontation and no explanation. I get that. However, I know him and the level of affection/respect/admiration he has for me. He's blunt enough to tell me (I think) if he just wanted to go back to being friends; he wouldn't want to risk losing that. I'll admit it's hard to not reach out to him, but I've only contacted him in the last two weeks in response to his calls. It's maddening that he would call me, leave me a message asking me to call him back, then ignore me or not respond when I do just that. It was a very difficult decision to unfriend him on Facebook. It seems so childish (he's 45, I'm 41), but I have to acknowledge the significance of these seemingly meaningless social media things. It's a signal to him much more concrete than text or phone silence that I'm ready to cut him out to preserve my sanity and heal my heart. No chance of being clingy anymore, I suppose Winking.
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The message, nonverbally, now is he's not that committed to making this work.
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Posted by truecap
The message, nonverbally, now is he's not that committed to making this work.


I'm totally tracking with you on that, lol
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I'm sorry spooky. Maybe he'll come around. I just feel at our age "who got time for that".
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Posted by truecap
Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.


i think this is it.

you want the attention he gave you.

and you miss it.

as an aquarius, i'll tell you truthfully, if you're not intuitive enough or emotionally "get it." that i'm not interested, i'm gonna get pissed off.

i've had guys stalk the shit out of me in the past and i hated it, i wanted to get fat and ugly so i wouldn't get attention even walking down the street.

but my 1st house venus wouldn't allow it dammit!!!!

anyway, i've just worn old clothes and big winter jackets that look like i got it at the salvation army....it helps alot, and my hair is messy and i look like i woke up.

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and my husband says to me,

"why the fuck are you wearing something you got from the dumpster???"

Laughing

oh jesus christ.
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*sigh*

anyway, i dont know what an aquarius man would do, cause i am not married to one.

but i don't envy your position.

but truecap is dating an aquarius man, and glad she's helping you out. smile
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Posted by truecap
I'm sorry spooky. Maybe he'll come around. I just feel at our age "who got time for that".


And that's the thing, isn't it? I've already been married and don't necessarily want to do that again (so no pressure or rush for a serious relationship). I already have two wonderful kids, so no biological clock ticking. That being said, I have MS and I'm in a power wheelchair for most things. I can still stand up and walk a few steps, but MS does progressively get worse. Right now I can work (i run four companies from home), travel solo all over the country, and go out to do almost anything I want. I want a man who shares that sense of joie de vivre and spontaneity and adventure (Aqua definitely fits the bill) while I can still do these things because the search will NOT be under the same circumstances for me in 5 or 10 years. Some Aqua loving women here might tell me I should have waited longer for him and been more patient and understanding; I really was falling in love with someone I thought could have been my soulmate. But like you said, who has time for this BS??? Even if he DOES come around, I don't think he would ever be capable of fulfilling my basic needs for time and attention.
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by truecap
Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.


i think this is it.

you want the attention he gave you.

and you miss it.

as an aquarius, i'll tell you truthfully, if you're not intuitive enough or emotionally "get it." that i'm not interested, i'm gonna get pissed off.


Oh, the attention he gave me was like heroin to a sick addict. I won't argue with you there.
The hard part is that I completely "get him," and he gets me. I completely understand WHY he does what he does. But as I told him in the email I sent him, that doesn't mean I have to like it or deal with it. I spent ten years trying to be someone I'm not just to keep the peace (ahhh...that frustrating Libra trait). I can't pretend to be someone I'm not by measuring out every single text or phone call so I don't run him off, or pretend to be okay without getting an ounce of attention from him for weeks. I'm not cut out for that crap. Truecap, my hat's off to you for your patience and devotion!
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Oh, the attention he gave me was like heroin to a sick addict. I won't argue with you there.
The hard part is that I completely "get him," and he gets me. I completely understand WHY he does what he does. But as I told him in the email I sent him, that doesn't mean I have to like it or deal with it. I spent ten years trying to be someone I'm not just to keep the peace (ahhh...that frustrating Libra trait). I can't pretend to be someone I'm not by measuring out every single text or phone call so I don't run him off, or pretend to be okay without getting an ounce of attention from him for weeks. I'm not cut out for that crap. Truecap, my hat's off to you for your patience and devotion!
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I've had to be patient, but he's never ignored me or disappeared on me.
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Posted by truecap
I've had to be patient, but he's never ignored me or disappeared on me.


this.

men who are into you, will never disappear from you.


OP, i would just not bother with this guy. A man has to chase you,not you chasing them and going crazy over what he's doing.

when in reality he could be just at home picking his nose and not thinking about you at all. That's the sad part.

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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by truecap
Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.


i think this is it.

you want the attention he gave you.

and you miss it.

as an aquarius, i'll tell you truthfully, if you're not intuitive enough or emotionally "get it." that i'm not interested, i'm gonna get pissed off.

i've had guys stalk the shit out of me in the past and i hated it, i wanted to get fat and ugly so i wouldn't get attention even walking down the street.

but my 1st house venus wouldn't allow it dammit!!!!

anyway, i've just worn old clothes and big winter jackets that look like i got it at the salvation army....it helps alot, and my hair is messy and i look like i woke up.


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Lol. U remind me of my aquaman. He was fat when he was young. Many teased him, so he did something to get thin. When he became what he wants, he attracted girls whom doesn't like him before.

Then He realize he wasn't happy being chased by bad women who was only attracted physically. So he ate a lot and got fat again
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Posted by Taura
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by truecap
Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.


i think this is it.

you want the attention he gave you.

and you miss it.

as an aquarius, i'll tell you truthfully, if you're not intuitive enough or emotionally "get it." that i'm not interested, i'm gonna get pissed off.

i've had guys stalk the shit out of me in the past and i hated it, i wanted to get fat and ugly so i wouldn't get attention even walking down the street.

but my 1st house venus wouldn't allow it dammit!!!!

anyway, i've just worn old clothes and big winter jackets that look like i got it at the salvation army....it helps alot, and my hair is messy and i look like i woke up.




Lol. U remind me of my aquaman. He was fat when he was young. Many teased him, so he did something to get thin. When he became what he wants, he attracted girls whom doesn't like him before.

Then He realize he wasn't happy being chased by bad women who was only attracted physically. So he ate a lot and got fat again
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hahaLaughing i was never fat unfortunately, but as i got past my 30s, i was much more 'filled" out than a skinny stick.
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Posted by Gem20Redux
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by truecap
Your just miss the attention. Life will go on without it. Eventually there will be another man who will give you the attention you want.


i think this is it.

you want the attention he gave you.

and you miss it.

as an aquarius, i'll tell you truthfully, if you're not intuitive enough or emotionally "get it." that i'm not interested, i'm gonna get pissed off.

i've had guys stalk the shit out of me in the past and i hated it, i wanted to get fat and ugly so i wouldn't get attention even walking down the street.

but my 1st house venus wouldn't allow it dammit!!!!

anyway, i've just worn old clothes and big winter jackets that look like i got it at the salvation army....it helps alot, and my hair is messy and i look like i woke up.




Ahh My Venus is in the first House as well! So superficial we are. Got to be hot shit even if it's just a little. Our looks are definitely an important aspect to our sex appeal which consumes us a bit haha. But I hear you on that note being an air sign even if it's just little old Gemini... we all have our aspects that make us for whatever reason intriguing to whoever is in pursuit of us to the point of stalking. I'm sure it's far worse being a woman and all who are far more on the receiving end of the obsession but believe me I've been there. It's never fun and it ain't easy to get over someone. Ever.... Deep breaths and distractions help a lot though.
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aren't you also aries in venus? so double trouble.Laughing
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Well, you mention he is at the age of 45. Based on what I have experienced with my aqua who is at same age like yours; I think, they are trying to catch up with their life now.
I mean, of their age, they are awaken of having a serious relationship then someday to have a family of their own

My guy dreamt of having a child because his parents(specially his mother) longs to have a grandchild from him. It is because he is their only child.

1st he wanted to adopt a child but later on, he d


*Plan to live with the girl whom he loves then to have a child from that woman

I suggest, you wait for him since he have been trying to reach you before. If the guy wants you he will contact you again
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