aquas and the L word...

So, I've been with my aqua for 4 months, before that we had a year of on and off before we officially started dating...I know that aquas take their time...but how do you all feel about the whole "I love you" statement? Do you generally take your time with feeling and saying that too? My aqua has admitted to me that he feels like he doesn't have emotions like other people do, and definitely is not very in touch with his "feelings"...just wondering how long it took for any of you to talk about Love...

ANd...I should probably throw in here that I told him I loved him this week...I really felt like he was feelign the same way too...I've been holding my tongue for a few weeks now, but I just had to say it because I wanted him to know. He seemed happy, but unable to tell me he felt the same way back yet. He said he wasn't ready to say those words yet. I told him because I felt it, and I do feel it- I'm not focusing on when he's going to say it and I probably woudln't say it again any time soon...I just wondered if this was a bad move. He hasn't acted any differently really, I spent the last four nights and days wit him since, but I do sense a little distance...before I said it, he would be extra sweet and mushy, I could be imagining it but I did sense all weekend he wasn't as freely loving as usual...could it be that I screwed things up wtih Aqua...Ive heard the horror stories of them pulling away- I just hope he doesn't because in my mind it doesn't change anything because whether or I said it or not I still feel it. any thoughtS?!

are you a libra? 🙂

Well, generally "Love" is something that we Aquas usually don't just fall into or let happen over night. We feel that Love is something that should be done right, or not at all & we believe that Love done RIGHT is love that comes with time, energy & full comprehension of what it means to REALLY see the advantages of investing our time with & in others. Some Aquas get "attached" fairly easy, but that usually only happens when the compatibility is there & recognizable quickly by both people. But loving another person takes way more than just 3 or 4 months of good conversation or that person not getting on our nerves yet. When we love we love HARD so we take enough time out to really see if that person can handle us, once we've already figured out that we can handle them.

Me, personally, it didn't take that long for me to get attached to my boyfriend. But actually having that "ride or die" and/or unconditional love for him, took almost 9 months to a year. Aquarians are not "break-up-to-make-up" type creatures & it's because we take relationships very seriously. The first stage of an Aquarian relationship is mostly all about us seeing if we can handle them, if our flaws or moral beiefs & opinions are compatible or workable with theirs. Once we feel that it is, it's on to stage 2: Figuring out if that person feels the same way about us, figuring out if that person takes relationships as serious as we do, figuring out if that person can handle us the way we need them to be able to & THAT part usually takes the longest!

yes, I'm a libra! Is it that obvious? Kryseree, I think everything you're saying makes sense now that I think back to how we even got to where we were. My aqua put a lot of thought into taking things to the next step, it was a very thought out, concious decision on his part. I think we may in that first phase, to see how much I can handle his neediness for independence, I'm scared that I'm failing though! See, I do let him have his independence, but emotionally, I ask for a lot. I think he's starting to see that. What's interesting though, is that there are aquas out there like you! Who can actually figure themselves out! My aqua seems to put zero effort into analyzing situations unless it has to do with physics or something academic. He doesn't have much self-awareness is what I'm getting at. I guess I'm just trying to take one step at a time, but it's hard. He may have to move when he graduates from law school for a job, he doesn't want to leave and is a total hometown guy, very naive in the ways of the world...it's somethign we talked about for maybe a minute and he said we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't believe in worrying about somethign that hasn't happened yet, but I wonder if part of him is pulling away already-knowing that he may have to relocate for work. I do care for him greatly though. I think he cares for me a lot too. Thanks for your outlook though🙂

"I think we may in that first phase, to see how much I can handle his neediness for independence, I'm scared that I'm failing though! See, I do let him have his independence, but emotionally, I ask for a lot. I think he's starting to see that. What's interesting though, is that there are aquas out there like you! Who can actually figure themselves out! My aqua seems to put zero effort into analyzing situations unless it has to do with physics or something academic. He doesn't have much self-awareness is what I'm getting at."

Perfect wording when it comes to Aquas. You're absolutely right. This is how I see it as an Aqua. When I get into a relationship I take on that "what you see is what you get" type of attitude. I don't do alot of self-awareness because in a sense I already know what I have to offer & what I can offer to the relationship IF and only if I feel going into the commitment is serious & unconditional. We have that "well, you show me what you can offer FIRST & show me what you can change about yourself if I need you to" philosophy because we are naturally stubborn creatures. All the times when we're single, we do all of the self-awareness checks on ourselves & we spend a great deal of time working on our inner selfs because for one, we're trying to find out why we're still single. BUT once someone shows interest in us, we're already assuming that that person has taken into consideration that we have already done the changing that we are going to do & once we see that that person can work with us in terms of a committed relationship, the rest of the time spent before we say the "L" word is spent on actually being convinced that they love as hard as we do. We never take a man's word for it. Of course we let him/her tell us how they are, what they can offer & what they need to change, but we always do our own little investigation & see if our opinions & results matched what they originally said. Once there is a match, we usually THEN say "I love you"

I concur with K7.

I wouldnt feel all insecure about what you said. Its how you felt and its what you needed to do at the time. He should be able to respect you for your openness and emotional awareness, Im sure he secretly envies you for it.

Give him time and let it all digest.

sakes, you did you, that's the main thing...if that's what you felt, you did it...if you start to feel insecure about your words, somehow they make manifest in your actions where you start to over-observe/analyse his reactions since you uttered those words......
about what he feels, he is responsible for that, figuring things out, etc...

There is no predictability or control in relationships...that is taken away the minute we commit, it becomes about 2 not 1. No matter how much time is taken to analyse, no matter how much time a relationship has existed, there will always be something we can't conclude on.

As people, I doubt we can actually figure out ourselves because frankly there's not enough time, and people or situations don't remain the same. We can only trust that the person will make the best decision given each situation.

At this point, I would take it lightly on the astro thing because Libra and Aqua are both air signs, you have the same emotional outlook......

Just don't expect him to express as you do, no human expresses exactly the same way. Some value actions over words, etc, work with what is in front of you and every now and then, if you find yourself thinking of his sign, think 'what is there was no astro?'......

don't attempt to guesstimate the future either, you'll only drive yourself insane, you gotta take it as it comes whatever happens, remember the good times you had right?

It took me about a year and a half to tell my significant other I loved her

My aqua loves me..after the 3rd date he bought himself a toothbrush to keep at my place and only 9 months later we are expecting our first baby!! He moved so fast, we both did, but its great!!

Your pregnant sola??!!

Now that I think about it, my ex libra did the very exact same thing, told me he loved me first, I can't say I was in love with him though, it took time for me to catch up, I can't say I ever really loved him but he was a comfortable fit which made me feel secure which is very hard to do, the connection was great plus we looked alike which helped, weird but it balanced itself out. If the connection is good, you should get an I love you eventually, be patient, it was a bad move because you imbalanced the situation but Aqua's and Libra's tend to fit nicely so you shouldn't really worry about it.

Yes, im pregnant!! Due end of June 09, whIch means we have a Cancerian in the way, YUK!!!

I guess that means its working out. Good luck with cancer-ling!

This is a guy thing (the male not being in touch with his feelings) because I can assure you---me, being a fem aqua and my male aqua friends ARE VERY IN TUNE WITH their feelings (Oprah FYI is an Aqua and everyone knows how touchy feely she is)....

Looks like this guy is just being a guy---and hey we females KNOW what that's all about (they are just lazy with their feelings!)

Took my guy almost two years lol I told him first. I figured that I might as well get it over with.waiting for him to say it was'nt going to change how I felt. I would always get this huge grin from him instead of him saying it back. I started to get antsy about it (im very very impatient) and pressured him about it but then I just let it go and he said it when he was ready. it was worth the wait. Now he says it more than me. its interesting how taking my time with him doesn't bother me. Its interesting how patient he is with my crazies and "panic attacks"

Ok a bit off topic. Sorry

Oh wow Sola, you are expecting—? My goodness, congrads 😄!!!!!

Are you two married yet or .......?

I've yet to say it to anyone...other than my mother and she forces me.

lmao ladyM, even now you're grown? is she a water sign or Libra?

Wo tai - have yet to say it to anyone - including my parents - well they never said it to us so meh...

probably one of the 3 most overrated words to be strung together. what does it mean really?!

I concur zen very overrated.

Yes, im grown she wont hang up unless I give her one that she can :feel" SMH. Now I make sure I d it wel the first time, lol.

She's a cancer, yeah, you see now. 🙂

LOL ! The one she can feel - that's good stuff...you should pinch her next time you say it - will definitely feel that 😉

Cancer eh, could be worse --- erm, *coughscorps*

She prolly did you some good there - you won't have as much dislike as a Cancer or another emotional sign you're dating to force that out of ya, right?

I've met a few Aqua kids with non-emotionally expressive parents...they're ending up turning to their intellect to get them affection. Bet you krysrenee7 had a non-emotional parent...hope she doesn't kick my butt... 🙂

My lil Aqua cousin doesnt get much from his Virgo mom...xmas day I asked him how he was, he said he was trying to educate us common men and did I know who rasputin was, then he would quote bible passages...the more he said stuff like that, the more everyone would laugh...then we realised he just needed attention, gave him a hug, and he just shut up and smiled a lot... 😕
And his mom is always telling us he's independent so she leaves him...no KID's independent...who's going to teach the kid other stuff he doesn't read from books?

Met two other Aqua kids like that too... one 7yr old Aqua wanted me to take her home and be her big sister just for giving her like 2hrs of uninterrupted time 🙂 her opinions on adults are already fixing 😢

LOL @ your aqua cousin

I was called an independent child as well, but I dont think my mom's emotional-ness helped much. You kinda just work it out on your own. But its good to interact with the children like this now, before they become adults and see any display of emotion a sign of weakness. They will never really change.

Sola...now that you two are expecting have you decided where you're going to live— Is he still going to Argentina and are you going to follow?

As for Aqua males telling you they love you...
Mine has said it in silly ways...over SMS for instance, worded as follows,"I love you in vodka tots" or "I think I may love Hooch (his dog) just a little more than you" with a naughty smile on his face.
As for coming right out and saying I LOVE YOU. Never.
I've often sms'd him saying I love you and he's replied "me too".
As for saying it out right to him I've done that twice. Once was when I told him I love his bum then said well actually I love you. He's reply was, "well that's fantastic".
The second time was last night. I just blurted it out as we were falling asleep. His reply was, "do you?". I said yes and he just gave me a dorky grin.

So I think, for me anyway and this is a year and half into the relationship I might add, that they do indeed like to hear it (once the relationship's established that is) but will not say it until they truly truly feel they mean it - and perhaps that is the right way afterall—?
No harm and as Honeypot pointed out...when he did say it, it was worth the wait. In the meanwhile I happy with the silly little hidden innuendos.

^^^ they're just words afterall - waiting for it or hearing it, no matter the sign, makes that much of a difference to actions? idk