Aqua's evaluation is incorrect and hurts

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by ScorpioFemale79 on Monday, March 18, 2013 and has 28 replies.
Aqua man will probably asked by management to do an eval on me again in a couple if weeks. I never look forward to it because he puts things he knows nothing about
I can take criticism but what he does hurts me. As I said in the past for whatever reason he has high standards of me more than anyone else. Why?
But in past ones he put things that upset me so much because he suggestions in like leading more when he knew that I couldn't lead because he kept telling the other staff something diff so why would they listen to me? I also told him about incidents with other staff that was against policy and he did nothing. So that's why I got upset cause I can't lead because he prevents it. He also put I need to work on communication when he was the one who always talked to everyone but me. Anyway as you can see past evals have really hurt me to the point where I still can't move past it. Especially when if he's asked to do other staff's evals and he puts all nice things. Even the bad staff members.
You'd think he hated me right? But that's not even it.
I wish I knew what it was because I can't handle another disappointment like that. But I'll be ready.. It may spark a conversation about stuff we may be beating around the bush about
Thoughts? Advice?
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I do remember that thread about it. At the end of the day he's not in charge and what an AQUA would do is to confront the person doing the evaluation and ask for a clear explanation as to why and be specific, tell them to be specific. Counter argue what you feel isn't right.
If you're still not satisfied I would just take it above him. You can't put up with him forever!
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Are you allowing your feelings for him to interfere with what happens at work? Are you taking it too personally?
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Posted by aquasnoz
I do remember that thread about it. At the end of the day he's not in charge and what an AQUA would do is to confront the person doing the evaluation and ask for a clear explanation as to why and be specific, tell them to be specific. Counter argue what you feel isn't right.
If you're still not satisfied I would just take it above him. You can't put up with him forever!


That's the problem mgmt doesn't do anything about anything
Mgmt sat in all evals last year cause mgmt was new. He just sat there til the end and at the end mgmt asked if there was anything I want to say and by then I was so frustrated by then I kinda broke down a little in tears and I said something like "the reason why he'd put things like this is because he's not aware of how I perform everyday. He isn't aware because we have poor communication. We don't really talk for whatever reason and ill take 50% if the blame on that..." And then I look at aqua dead in the eye and I say
"But you have to want to talk to me. You need to think its important and I do not know why you don't". Tears still Rollin and aqua with a doe in headlights expression kinda gulps and says "okay." As if he understood. But me saying that didn't change things. It still got turned in with that bs on it
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Posted by truecap
Are you allowing your feelings for him to interfere with what happens at work? Are you taking it too personally?


Yes and no. Back then I was sad that he put criticism on there that he was the obstacle itself. I was also disappointed that everyone else had 100% good evals. Even the bad employs he wished didn't work there anymore and yet I'm the only one he gave any criticism to. That hurt me personally. For whatever reason he doesn't treat me like any other coworker. Like a while ago I don't really say hi/bye for a while (was distracted by personal problems). Ppl don't say it all the time here but he was offended by me not saying it only
For once on my evals I'd like for him to point out things I actually did need to work on and maybe this time around some solutions too
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Well, at least he's not going to be accused of treating you special. He may be afraid that his superiors or your coworkers will catch on to yalls relationship. If I had a friendship or feelings for someone that I was doing a work evaluation for, I would definitely feel as if I had to find something critical so there is no accusations later down the road of an inappropriate relationship.
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I understand your fustration but he may not have anything that you really need to work on and like I said above, he is covering up, possibly.
But remember I'm a cap and I am career minded.
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Posted by truecap
Well, at least he's not going to be accused of treating you special. He may be afraid that his superiors or your coworkers will catch on to yalls relationship. If I had a friendship or feelings for someone that I was doing a work evaluation for, I would definitely feel as if I had to find something critical so there is no accusations later down the road of an inappropriate relationship.



I think its more rather he expects more out of me for whatever reason. That's not right. I don't care if he has feelings or not, he needs to be fair and just and if he's going to put any criticism he needs to give a solution to it. But he never does, most days when I try and rebuttal he just sits there like a doe in headlights.
its like Geez come on...what a way to drive me away!
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Posted by truecap
I understand your fustration but he may not have anything that you really need to work on and like I said above, he is covering up, possibly.
But remember I'm a cap and I am career minded.


If he has no criticism then I should get good evaluations. I mean seriously..the lazy/bad/abrasive coworkers all recieved nothing but "rave" reviews. He even nominated some of them for awards...those same ppl who had alot of complaints from clients about their aggressive/abrasiveness.
It's like what? I bust my butt everyday...I work hard...I get rave reviews...I work 200% and not once did I ever get nominated...not that I care but he will never nominate me because he sees me in the same "bubble" as himself. He'd never nominate himself so I guess he wouldn't nominate me either.
The point is, I'm the same as anyone else that works alongside him. If he truly wants to continue being the lead...then he needs to know how to lead properly. You treat people the same way and if they dont fall in line, then you ding em for it. If they do exceptionally well then you praise them for it.
As hard as I work you'd think I'd get praised alot...nope, all I get is high expectations, criticism and if I make one mistake i get dinged.
Ya way to win me over AQUA!
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
How can someone's evaluation be incorrect? I don't understand?? Help.


Like previous evaluations, he was asked to do it when Management was new. He probably will get asked to do it again cause our management is kind of a dingbat (long story).
The last time aqua was asked to do my evaluation he put the following things:
- Needs to communicate more (he was the one that was never talking to me at the time)
- Needs to lead more (I tried to lead the other staff members more but he would always say something that was different than what i'd say instead of supporting my "view" point and I told him for months about different things I'd do regarding the other employees or mention some things that clients complained about but he never did anything so how can one expect me to lead if he was the one thing that was preventing me from doing so).
- He said that I need not work overtime and leave at 5pm when we close (there are other staff members who stay til 7pm sometimes 10pm and he never says anything to them)

So you can see why it aggravated me. He points out things he was the obstacle too or it was things everyone in the department does but only noticed it when I was the one doing it.
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In part of evaluations, I thought the whole point was to provide feedback to assist a staff member to grow and work on their strengths and eventually get rid of their weaknesses and not point out things when you are the person that's preventing someone from doing so.
I know aqua's are very logical and are clueless sometimes but geezus. A good evaluation is something like:

Scorpio exudes very strong analytical skills but what I would like to see her do is to take charge of strategic planning for the department and create some objectives and goals for us to accomplish in the 2013 fiscal year in the areas of operations and professional development.

But what he has put in the past is:
I would like to see Scorpio lead the other staff members more.

And that's it. How does that help me LOL.
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How do you know what he did or didn't put in other people's evaluations?
Isn't that supposed to be private and protected by human resources. Everywhere I work, you can get fired for discussing issues such as that.
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"But what he has put in the past is:
I would like to see Scorpio lead the other staff members more."

I think this is a positive. He sees your potential and recognizes your skills. It is an opportunity and encouragement to take the lead and set examples and be a mentor to others.
At it's worse, it is still a positive. It still recognizes your potential. Keep in mind, though, regardless how good your leadership skills, if others don't follow, then you are not an effective leader and those skills need to be fine tuned. It is an encouragement and permission to step forward and start exercising those skills.
From my history in management, when doing an evaluation you have to set goals for people. EVERYONE has room for improvement no matter how good or talented they are. Sometimes it was difficult to find something to put in this spot. This is a vague, benign, easy, standard one. Everyone could improve on leadership skills. That could be all it is.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by ScorpioFemale79
Posted by IntriguedScorp
How can someone's evaluation be incorrect? I don't understand?? Help.


Like previous evaluations, he was asked to do it when Management was new. He probably will get asked to do it again cause our management is kind of a dingbat (long story).
The last time aqua was asked to do my evaluation he put the following things:
- Needs to communicate more (he was the one that was never talking to me at the time)
- Needs to lead more (I tried to lead the other staff members more but he would always say something that was different than what i'd say instead of supporting my "view" point and I told him for months about different things I'd do regarding the other employees or mention some things that clients complained about but he never did anything so how can one expect me to lead if he was the one thing that was preventing me from doing so).
- He said that I need not work overtime and leave at 5pm when we close (there are other staff members who stay til 7pm sometimes 10pm and he never says anything to them)

So you can see why it aggravated me. He points out things he was the obstacle too or it was things everyone in the department does but only noticed it when I was the one doing it.



O_o Are you serious? He is pointing out areas he thinks you need improvement on. What others in your department are doing has absolutely no relevance here. Also, you get aggravated? How about taking what someone in a position to evaluate your job performance has to say and using that information to IMPROVE your work or don't you think you need improving?

click to expand


I'd be happy if that's all the negative my boss put in my job eval!!! I'd be like, "that's it? That's it? That's all you can find?" Wahooooo!!! smile
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Posted by truecap
How do you know what he did or didn't put in other people's evaluations?
Isn't that supposed to be private and protected by human resources. Everywhere I work, you can get fired for discussing issues such as that.


Because he leaves it sitting on his desk and cause he tells me everything. I don't even really want to know.
Plus sometimes he asks for my help in putting evaluating other people.
So when he gives me the eval to add my input all he put were good things especially with the staff members who are abrasive with clients. That's a big no no but yet nothing happened.
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Oh, Scorp, I'm not dogging on you, hope you don't think that. I like you and am trying to give you another perspective. smile
Sometimes happiness is all in perspective.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by ScorpioFemale79
Posted by IntriguedScorp
How can someone's evaluation be incorrect? I don't understand?? Help.


Like previous evaluations, he was asked to do it when Management was new. He probably will get asked to do it again cause our management is kind of a dingbat (long story).
The last time aqua was asked to do my evaluation he put the following things:
- Needs to communicate more (he was the one that was never talking to me at the time)
- Needs to lead more (I tried to lead the other staff members more but he would always say something that was different than what i'd say instead of supporting my "view" point and I told him for months about different things I'd do regarding the other employees or mention some things that clients complained about but he never did anything so how can one expect me to lead if he was the one thing that was preventing me from doing so).
- He said that I need not work overtime and leave at 5pm when we close (there are other staff members who stay til 7pm sometimes 10pm and he never says anything to them)

So you can see why it aggravated me. He points out things he was the obstacle too or it was things everyone in the department does but only noticed it when I was the one doing it.



O_o Are you serious? He is pointing out areas he thinks you need improvement on. What others in your department are doing has absolutely no relevance here. Also, you get aggravated? How about taking what someone in a position to evaluate your job performance has to say and using that information to IMPROVE your work or don't you think you need improving?

click to expand


That's what im saying. He said last year I need to communicate more. He was the one that wasn't talking to me at the time. He would never say anything to me. I would have to force him to talk. I would even ask if we could meet regarding certain projects. He kept cancelling becuase he wanted to go to lunch or cause he hated meetings. How is that not communicating?
He said I should lead more...I was already trying to lead but everytime i would, he would tell the same person something different and since he was the lead of course they'd listen to him. So how can I lead if
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Posted by truecap
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by ScorpioFemale79
Posted by IntriguedScorp
How can someone's evaluation be incorrect? I don't understand?? Help.


Like previous evaluations, he was asked to do it when Management was new. He probably will get asked to do it again cause our management is kind of a dingbat (long story).
The last time aqua was asked to do my evaluation he put the following things:
- Needs to communicate more (he was the one that was never talking to me at the time)
- Needs to lead more (I tried to lead the other staff members more but he would always say something that was different than what i'd say instead of supporting my "view" point and I told him for months about different things I'd do regarding the other employees or mention some things that clients complained about but he never did anything so how can one expect me to lead if he was the one thing that was preventing me from doing so).
- He said that I need not work overtime and leave at 5pm when we close (there are other staff members who stay til 7pm sometimes 10pm and he never says anything to them)

So you can see why it aggravated me. He points out things he was the obstacle too or it was things everyone in the department does but only noticed it when I was the one doing it.



O_o Are you serious? He is pointing out areas he thinks you need improvement on. What others in your department are doing has absolutely no relevance here. Also, you get aggravated? How about taking what someone in a position to evaluate your job performance has to say and using that information to IMPROVE your work or don't you think you need improving?



I'd be happy if that's all the negative my boss put in my job eval!!! I'd be like, "that's it? That's it? That's all you can find?" Wahooooo!!! smile
click to expand


LOL that wasn't it, that was all I could remember. I just wish I had gotten criticism on things that actually were things I had to work on. The ironic thing is he put stuff that he never even mentioned before. These are annual evals...why couldn't he have mentioned these things anytime during the 365 days.
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Posted by truecap
Oh, Scorp, I'm not dogging on you, hope you don't think that. I like you and am trying to give you another perspective. smile
Sometimes happiness is all in perspective.



I didn't think that LOL.
I just think like my experience in the past 1-2 evals he was asked to do, I believe he put things that were based on his PERSONAL perception. Cause like I said he said i need to communicate more...when we weren't even talking because of HIM. I tried for months to figure out why we never talked anymore....so when I saw that on my eval and he had to tell me that in front of management, amongst the other 12 points on the eval that were similar in nature its no wonder I got so frustrated when alot of the points on the eval were things I tried for months and months to talk to him about (as mentioned in other posts).
It was as if he didn't remember all of our conversations and used the evaluation to say what he really wanted to say.
That's why i got so frustrated. And that whole "time period" when things were bad, even tho I barely think about it anymore....I can't help remember it knowing that I have another evaluation coming up that he might be asked to do again.
It's rough having to sit there only to hear someone say stuff that you tried to get them to understand for a long time.
Im just not looking forward to it.
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Posted by Metoo
Its gonna be ok, let it bounce off you because it sounds like if you've communicated and done all you could, he is going to give you more of the same no matter what.
It isnt gonna matter whats on that paper, it wont be any less hurtful but you've still be trudging through each day despote his past reviews...so keep doing the same, and try and just keep a good attitude, know your OWN value, most performance evaluations are for the birds anyways...but use it to inspire you to get out, reach for new and better opportunities. Dont waste your precious youth worrying about things you cant change.
It already sounds like the management team is not one you respect and admire so again, channel your anger/hurt/frustration into pushing you to move somewhere you can use your awesome talents and be supported and appreciated. Plan a night out with the girls the same night as your evaluation so you can have some wine and laugh it off and remember who is REALLY important in your life.



You are right. It's not my fault he uses evals as opportunities to say what he really wants to because he's chicken shit!
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Posted by Metoo
Yep, I think he is doing that too. And He sees it affects u so its a form of control. Take back the control by refusing to have ANY emotion toward it at ALL. Do you! Eff it! Its paper. And empty words.


Fuck that indeed. I was grumpy today cause of this shit. What does he do??? Something cute!!! Ugh.
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Life is too short for this type of drama.
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Posted by firewaterearthpiscesvenus
Life is too short for this type of drama.


Life is too short!
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hmmmm he is more critical of you? sounds like he has dominant virgo or at least virgo moon, or rising or mars.
sorry to virgo influenced people, as that's usual suspect for criticism too much. *sigh*
might be too much for your libra moon (which expects fairness) and he's overtly critical.
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although, in general, if virgo influenced people are critical then they really love you.
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Posted by lisabethur8
although, in general, if virgo influenced people are critical then they really love you.


LOL to be honest I do not know the reason. I doubt he even knows. Maybe its some yearning deep inside him he can't act upon hahahahha. I'm kidding.
Who knows. I do know that he has me on some higher standard and pedestal all at the same time.
I don't know what about me got me there but alrighty then.
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Posted by ScorpioFemale79
Posted by lisabethur8
although, in general, if virgo influenced people are critical then they really love you.


LOL to be honest I do not know the reason. I doubt he even knows. Maybe its some yearning deep inside him he can't act upon hahahahha. I'm kidding.
Who knows. I do know that he has me on some higher standard and pedestal all at the same time.
I don't know what about me got me there but alrighty then.
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He probably sees you are competent and responsible, and all the many qualities he looks up to. Plus, if he looks down or sees other co-workers as beneath him, he might be comparing them to you. Which is not fair either, because not everyone is capable or as competent in their job as the next person might be. He definitely sounds like a very earthy Aqua, as earthy individuals really love competence and responsibilities and hates flightiness.
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by ScorpioFemale79
Posted by lisabethur8
although, in general, if virgo influenced people are critical then they really love you.


LOL to be honest I do not know the reason. I doubt he even knows. Maybe its some yearning deep inside him he can't act upon hahahahha. I'm kidding.
Who knows. I do know that he has me on some higher standard and pedestal all at the same time.
I don't know what about me got me there but alrighty then.


He probably sees you are competent and responsible, and all the many qualities he looks up to. Plus, if he looks down or sees other co-workers as beneath him, he might be comparing them to you. Which is not fair either, because not everyone is capable or as competent in their job as the next person might be. He definitely sounds like a very earthy Aqua, as earthy individuals really love competence and responsibilities and hates flightiness.
click to expand


LOL but he's flighty!
I do agree with you. It isnt fair. I mean its true I am one of the few truly skilled people in the company (which includes him) but its a burden by him I never asked for. I'm on the same level as everyone else and I should be treated as such or maybe the shitheads need more structure so they can be on the same effort level.
Either case he drives me nuts.
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