studdmuffin
@studdmuffin
18 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
Aquas suck at chasing girls.........
Emotions lead to bad things!
Men! you're all a bunch of IDIOTS!
Men! you're all a bunch of IDIOTS!
Ahhhh female alert! 🙂
On a more serious note - I don't believe that emotions leads to bad things - if you are in control of your emotions then you'll be fine. That's the key here.
Also everybody has different experiences with people - I've had a best friend and a girlfriend who are Virgo's, equally I've met some Virgo's that I couldn't be around for very long - doesn't make them all bad, that's just life - you cannot get along with everybody, in fact I've never had any major conflicts - just that we didn't have much in common or their personality didn't mix well with mine.
You have to be careful because IMO relationships should be equal in balance; I don't think playing games is ever a good idea, of course it's up to you to sometimes make a bold move or initiate something, that's important. Chasing happens in all situations, the more healthy it is the better IMO - if you are both putting in effort then that's good. Equally you cannot complain about "chasing" and then just expect someone else to do all the running and hard work. One person shouldn't have to do everything in the relationship because that is unfair. You both have to be committed.
I feel that I've learnt a lot about myself in the past year or so. I've had quite a few relationships - some long-term, some short-term. I think what Studmuffin says it true - we as Aqua's over think way too much. I believe in self-improvement which is why I've been bold enough to start making the first move more often - that's not to say that I haven't done so in the past but I've certainly upped my game on that level a lot recently. Why is that you might ask? Well I guess my new found attitude is to just go for it. Of course I'll never chase a girl day and night because that isn't my style or approach - but that doesn't mean that we can't make some effort.
If someone does take long to respond to a text then just reply back in good time; I know you probably don't want to look desperate or whatever by responding quickly but you have let your guard down and just go for it. It doesn't have to be straight away but I'm not sure that mirroring someone or taking 2-3 days to respond is a good idea at all. We've all been there but I think some of us Aqua's need to improve these little issues that many of us seem to have!
Good luck for the future anyway and hopefully you can learn from this experience, as we all should. 🙂
On a more serious note - I don't believe that emotions leads to bad things - if you are in control of your emotions then you'll be fine. That's the key here.
Also everybody has different experiences with people - I've had a best friend and a girlfriend who are Virgo's, equally I've met some Virgo's that I couldn't be around for very long - doesn't make them all bad, that's just life - you cannot get along with everybody, in fact I've never had any major conflicts - just that we didn't have much in common or their personality didn't mix well with mine.
You have to be careful because IMO relationships should be equal in balance; I don't think playing games is ever a good idea, of course it's up to you to sometimes make a bold move or initiate something, that's important. Chasing happens in all situations, the more healthy it is the better IMO - if you are both putting in effort then that's good. Equally you cannot complain about "chasing" and then just expect someone else to do all the running and hard work. One person shouldn't have to do everything in the relationship because that is unfair. You both have to be committed.
I feel that I've learnt a lot about myself in the past year or so. I've had quite a few relationships - some long-term, some short-term. I think what Studmuffin says it true - we as Aqua's over think way too much. I believe in self-improvement which is why I've been bold enough to start making the first move more often - that's not to say that I haven't done so in the past but I've certainly upped my game on that level a lot recently. Why is that you might ask? Well I guess my new found attitude is to just go for it. Of course I'll never chase a girl day and night because that isn't my style or approach - but that doesn't mean that we can't make some effort.
If someone does take long to respond to a text then just reply back in good time; I know you probably don't want to look desperate or whatever by responding quickly but you have let your guard down and just go for it. It doesn't have to be straight away but I'm not sure that mirroring someone or taking 2-3 days to respond is a good idea at all. We've all been there but I think some of us Aqua's need to improve these little issues that many of us seem to have!
Good luck for the future anyway and hopefully you can learn from this experience, as we all should. 🙂
You fear rejection just like most of the world. BUT your fear of rejection is LITERALLY consuming you so much so that you're willing to lose out on "good" things all in the name of saving face or keeping your pride. As an Aqua, I can identify with how annoying it is to chase after others & I've heard it's worse for males. All I can say is this...you need to take a look in the mirror & figure out why your fear of rejection is so strong..where is it stemming from? Sure, we can break this down all day but I think we both know this whole thing is DEEPER than you just being an Aquarius. It's not like we Aquarius just sit & watch good things go down the drain. We're not complete idiots. A little shy at times? Yes. But so detached that we let pride run our world? No. You might need to change your perspective on things so that the things you're examining will change and/or look different. It's not that she's standing there & being a queen b/c she's not chasing after you. Have you ever took her feelings into consideration? She might only be used to men chasing after her just like you're only used to being chased. The reality is, in order for you to have any fulfilling friendships/relationships, you've got to learn how to sacrifice, compromise & let the walls of pride down. Pride kills everything it touches..and so does fear, too much caution & stubbornness. With anything else in life, if you want her then do YOUR part. You don't have to do her part, no just do YOUR part. When you do YOUR part you've already noticed that she responds & allows the situation b/w you two to move along. She's not asking you to do her part. She's seeing if you'll have the courage to be a go-getter (despite the past) & if you'll be fair enough to do some of the work. You might be a really great guy, but imagine if this was the other way around (and you were the good woman)? You'd run like hell.
One, you have to stop assuming that she's asking you for 1 million bucks. No, she's only asking for you to do YOUR part, which means being true to yourself. If you want to call her, then do so. If you want to see her, then make that move. Once you actually get past all of this fear of rejection, you'll realize that you put wayyyy more energy into those fears than you did into the things that actually bring you happiness. Obviously, your strategies & way of thinking aren't working for you so just try to find a balance. No, don't do ALL the work but do YOUR part. Don't play mind games. Don't turn everything with women into cat & mouse. That way if you lose a good one, you'll atleast be able to walk away with a clear conscious, knowing that you did your part. That's the best feeling in the world. If your shy & want to show your self to her very slowly, then just tell her that so she'll know what to expect. BUT, if you keep everything in, she's going to translate all of what your doing and NOT doing into you just playing games. And any woman with a backbone & whom knows what she wants WILL walk away. Someone needs to have the courage to go first. We live in a world today where women are naturally expecting the man to make all the moves. It's kind of unfair to you guys but then again, it gets you what you guys want, right? It'd be different if you did your part & in turn, she didn't respond or do her part, but I don't think that's the case. Sure, she's probably being a little stubborn. Hell she's probably trying to figure out what your problem is. THAT's probably why she's playing the same games you are playing. Take the risk. If you ever want to find love then you're going to have to learn how to take certain risk & lay the pride down. If you can't do it, then step away & let the guys who will step in & step up
@Aqua-alex...well I completely understand how you feel. Because you're new to this whole astrology thing, I do agree that learning about Aquarian ways could be very helpful in helping you to figure out what's really going on here. BUT, like I said before I really do think that your issue here is alot deeper. Do we Aquas have pride? Yes. Are we stubborn as hell? Yes. Do we fear others hurting us once they get that close access? Yes. But honey that's life. Sure, you won't ever lose by not playing the game but remember, you won't ever win either if you don't play. Try to think about what initially started this behavior in you? What happend to you that sort of caused you to slip into this alternate personality behind closed doors? It sounds like you are very self-aware of what's going on. You're being up front about things & you don't seem to be in denial, so that's the good thing. You've acknowledged your faults & what it is exactly that you're doing wrong. That's the hardest part. You know exactly which behaviors & which things push you away & WHY they push you away from others. The answer to your problem may not be simple but then again it might be. Sounds like you know the answer, you just need to work on actually putting some ACTION into it. You're spending 100x's more energy into channels of pride & fear than you are into having faith & you don't even realize it. You've got to come to a point where you're tired of being tired & to where it finally hits you that yes, while you may not get hurt b/c you chose not to get close to others, you aren't necessarily HAPPY either by being that way. And everything in life is all about finding that inner peace & happiness.
try a gemini,.,we know what we want and can work for it. =)
I dont know where women get this notion about men preferring to do the approach. A lot of guys I know would be a lot of happier if there were more women taking initaitive.
I hate how some people say the best relationship material girls are ones who you have to approach. And ones who do arent. What a load of crap.
"Quiet" girls can be just as unhealthy relationship material as the next. AKA my cap ex. With her I literally had to do everything. And she played the biggest head games. Never knowing where I stood with her.
I like women with backbone who show no shame in being attracted to you. I'd rather be with a flirtatious girl who's direct and honest with me, vs a "quiet" one.
I hate how some people say the best relationship material girls are ones who you have to approach. And ones who do arent. What a load of crap.
"Quiet" girls can be just as unhealthy relationship material as the next. AKA my cap ex. With her I literally had to do everything. And she played the biggest head games. Never knowing where I stood with her.
I like women with backbone who show no shame in being attracted to you. I'd rather be with a flirtatious girl who's direct and honest with me, vs a "quiet" one.
w00t almost 30 comments, my thread's a hit!
"There's nothing wrong with a quiet girl, FB I can be very subtle about whether or not I like someone or am attracted to them, and that's how I like it! I'm not going to put any emotions into it until I know for sure things will be reciprocated. Call me a wuss or old-fashioned, but that's how I roll!"
I sincerely hope things go well with your aries and you live happily ever after. Because if there was a break up, you would have a hard time in the dating game again. Just based on how you interact with men.
I'm sure you do get approached often. But at the same time, maybe not by the type of men you like. From my point of view, if I see an attractive woman and she's being ambigious about liking me, forget it.
If a man is going to approach, he needs a strong sign of interest. Subtlety doesnt work, men dont usually catch on in that sense If you're not blatantly showing attraction, then you cant really complain about not getting dates when single.
I think women who use "Well, I'm a woman, I shouldnt have to approach" are cowards. Hiding behind outdated perceived gender roles is weak. These are the same women who will call women that have the balls to approach sluts. Jealous because those women have courage and they dont. FeistyAqua, I'm not saying you're them at all BTW.
The bottom line is if I have to go and humiliate myself approaching, so should a woman. You are responsible for your own happiness in this world irregardless of gender.
I sincerely hope things go well with your aries and you live happily ever after. Because if there was a break up, you would have a hard time in the dating game again. Just based on how you interact with men.
I'm sure you do get approached often. But at the same time, maybe not by the type of men you like. From my point of view, if I see an attractive woman and she's being ambigious about liking me, forget it.
If a man is going to approach, he needs a strong sign of interest. Subtlety doesnt work, men dont usually catch on in that sense If you're not blatantly showing attraction, then you cant really complain about not getting dates when single.
I think women who use "Well, I'm a woman, I shouldnt have to approach" are cowards. Hiding behind outdated perceived gender roles is weak. These are the same women who will call women that have the balls to approach sluts. Jealous because those women have courage and they dont. FeistyAqua, I'm not saying you're them at all BTW.
The bottom line is if I have to go and humiliate myself approaching, so should a woman. You are responsible for your own happiness in this world irregardless of gender.
Thanks normal appreciate someone understanding where Im coming from.
Feisty, BTW I wasnt trying to attack you in the last thread, so that's not misconstrued. I just wanted to give you a guy's perspective. Which I dont think is heard enough sometimes in relationship to dealing with men.
Feisty, you are in a much better position to approach being a woman. Even though it's shallow, men tend to overlook things when an attractive woman appraoches.
Whereas a guy who's good-looking that is even a bit nervous, and doesnt make the conversation nonstop stimulating will get rejected harshly unless the gal is drunk.
That in there lies the fundamental difference.
Feisty, BTW I wasnt trying to attack you in the last thread, so that's not misconstrued. I just wanted to give you a guy's perspective. Which I dont think is heard enough sometimes in relationship to dealing with men.
Feisty, you are in a much better position to approach being a woman. Even though it's shallow, men tend to overlook things when an attractive woman appraoches.
Whereas a guy who's good-looking that is even a bit nervous, and doesnt make the conversation nonstop stimulating will get rejected harshly unless the gal is drunk.
That in there lies the fundamental difference.
I also want to mention..........Venus and Mars plays a part of how you approach/chase someone..............look into that too!
@Aqua-Alex..I completely understand where you are coming from. I am an Aqua too & I too experience times when I allow my fear of rejection, hurt & getting close to others to sort of hold me back from the things I really want. What I was stressing to you is that no matter what you've been through (to trigger these fears in you), it's all about finding that inner balance. You can be true to yourself & still be your Aqua self (still very cautious & careful not to let your emotions cloud out your judgement) BUT at the same time finding that balance that allows you to yes, still be careful BUT YET NOT be so cautious & so content in your fears that you let the actual good things get away. That's what this is all about. I wasn't saying that in order for you to have inner peace you need to drop everything & go be with her. No, it's more like, this whole "fear" thing with you is obviously eating you alive (for understandable reasons), thus in order to find that inner peace so that you won't have to beat up on yourself or feel so bad (like something is wrong with you), it'd be best to try to find that balance. Find a way to still hold on to who you are & how you deal with situations/emotions (like not opening up all the way for example), but yet also at the same time knowing when to say "Enough is enough" when your fears start to get so overpowering that you feel it'll take more energy to try & fight those fears. You're right, we've all been through the ups & downs of life BUT you don't necessarily have to let those fears or those "Aqua traits" about you control you, especially in a negative way. You already know the answer to your own questions. You know what you need to do. Now, it's just a matter of putting some action with your words =)
knowing the path and walking the path are two separate things. I've known what path i should walk for so long but it's hard for me to stay on track. I feel obliged to carve a new unknown path and see what lies there
Amen Satori!
As for you Aqua-Alex: at least you are aware of what's going on inside of you. A lot of people tend to turn a blind eye to their own personal truths, because it can be too painful for them to see themselves (warts and all). I commend you for your initiative to at least chase after yourself...i.e., the real you to know your real motives and intentions. This personal journey WILL be necessary if you ever hope to be able to share yourself openly and comfortably with someone else. I'm confident that you will get to that point in the near future. Cheers :-)
As for you Aqua-Alex: at least you are aware of what's going on inside of you. A lot of people tend to turn a blind eye to their own personal truths, because it can be too painful for them to see themselves (warts and all). I commend you for your initiative to at least chase after yourself...i.e., the real you to know your real motives and intentions. This personal journey WILL be necessary if you ever hope to be able to share yourself openly and comfortably with someone else. I'm confident that you will get to that point in the near future. Cheers :-)
Posted by Aqua-Alex
I started by asking for her number, and for the first day we were texting each other every ten mins or so. Then after some time during our texting, she took 2 hours to text me back. I decided to reciprocate, and took about 3 hours to text her back. She then took an entire DAY to text me back in which i responded by taking 2-3 days to text her back!!
hahahahahahahahahaha i laugh because i've done that too even tho i knew how ridiculous it was
hey i've read the whole topic u guys have some pretty interesting ideas :p , anyway I just thought i share my story as well, in my lifetime lol (like i'm 70 or somethin' :p), i've had 2 experiences with Virgo and of them is very similar with your experience Aqua-Alex i've had that phone messaging thing wich i really don't think it's cuz of a aqua virgo connection, i've known people who had that, everyone has pride and u need to know in wich situation u need that pride and in wich u need to drop it cuz it's not going to do good, with the virgo i was 'involved' lol that word is correct cuz i can't say that we were dating, i really liked her from the beginning the minute we saw each other, we met at a learning conference and she had a part to present since everyone at my school is pretty dumb, after a few mins she saw me and she only looked at me she didn't pay attention to everyone else cuz she saw that i'm interested in the presentation, anyway after that we just kept looking at each, it was like when she looked in my eyes she could see thru me and saw me who i really am and vice versa, later she gave me her phone no. when we talked on the IM, loooooooong story, the thing is that when we talked on IM or phone everything was good we could connect talk for hours but when we met, and someone did mention it here there was this mutual tension between us, it's like she wasn't the same person i talked on the phone, she was mysterious even tho i knew almost everything about her that there is to know, so yeah u could say that we didn't date we were friends who often talked and rarely saw each other, and i started to like her until the point i fall for her,anyway I couldn't resist I was afraid of rejection but i wanted to let her know so i told her, she was suprised, and than simply nothing came out of it only sleepless nights for me lol, but i'm sure that she will not forget me cuz she somehow knew that she's not going to find someone like me at the corner, this was 2 years ago, after that i messaged her on her b-day, she got my message she called we talked,than she messaged me on christmas so u can't say that we did remain friends but we talk once in a while btw she was 22, this years she will turn 23.
Around 3 years ago I started to have interest in psychology and i've read alot of books and I also learned alot of things so it's easy for me to figure out a person in no time, and even before that i had that talent, and i was exactly like that, i didn't chase girls at all,
and my stepfather was the one who thought how to have character when i was around 11-14 he was a scorpio,and
few months ago i don't remember where i read that if there's a sign who can help build character for an aquarius
that is scorpio. After studying psychology i discovered astrology and i have to say it's pretty true what astrology
says about the signs but we don't need to forget that there are always exceptions among us.
My Advice is that next time u ask a girl out or she asks out don't let your mind think about how it is going to be
if i say this what will happen, don't analyze, relationships are not based on logic u can't analyze it like
if i say that she will think that, if she said that i wonder did she really mean it or she just said it because...
stop with that, go there let loose and have fun, and don't think about the outcome,cuz if u don't think about the outcome
u don't put too much emotions to it and even if nothing happens u two don't get together, u will not be
dissapointed....
And i recommend you to read David DeAngelo's book Double your Dating or watch the 6, 2 hour session videos
and as aquas we learn fast u'll see result in no time, i now that this book sounds weird i was skeptic too at first but when i read
it i really did saw the whole picture how it is all coming together with men,women and their relationships. Have Fun and Good Luck ! 🙂
and my stepfather was the one who thought how to have character when i was around 11-14 he was a scorpio,and
few months ago i don't remember where i read that if there's a sign who can help build character for an aquarius
that is scorpio. After studying psychology i discovered astrology and i have to say it's pretty true what astrology
says about the signs but we don't need to forget that there are always exceptions among us.
My Advice is that next time u ask a girl out or she asks out don't let your mind think about how it is going to be
if i say this what will happen, don't analyze, relationships are not based on logic u can't analyze it like
if i say that she will think that, if she said that i wonder did she really mean it or she just said it because...
stop with that, go there let loose and have fun, and don't think about the outcome,cuz if u don't think about the outcome
u don't put too much emotions to it and even if nothing happens u two don't get together, u will not be
dissapointed....
And i recommend you to read David DeAngelo's book Double your Dating or watch the 6, 2 hour session videos
and as aquas we learn fast u'll see result in no time, i now that this book sounds weird i was skeptic too at first but when i read
it i really did saw the whole picture how it is all coming together with men,women and their relationships. Have Fun and Good Luck ! 🙂
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I don't know if its been done on here if it has oh well, I'm bored. Libra - Barbie girl - Aqua Scorpio - Womanizer -
What's the normal Aquarian behavior in relationships? I have to know so I can compare it w/ my Aquarius. lol So feel fre
Hello out there. I'm new to this forum. I'm really looking for advice of how to keep this amazing, cool, cute, and popul
So, is it all a game with Aquarius's? Because it's a really frustrating game. My aqua asked me to come visit him this w
Hey, just after a bit of feedback really..just broken up with my boyfriend after 5 years and although it was my choice I
Oprah winfrey and I am........well that makes two. who else is? and this is a very important discussion!
i am still trying to get used to giving my cap space. he has venus in aqua too, so freedom is a necessity. i am sometime
I have been friends with a certain aquarius on and off for the past 10+ years..we went to high school together. We lost
So we're officially together for 10 months now. I thought you guys like space.Why this Aqua boyfriend just wants to spen
Yesterday I called my aqua friend and invited him over and he said he would then he doesn't show up. This happens often
and its with an aquarian girl!!!!!!!! (well i would say its more of a crush) what to doooooo—?? i need high Aquarianl
By another Aqua. So. Fuckin'. Hot. Not just in terms of looks either. This girl's got me reeling and I just met her this
I thought it would not pertain to me and it does, i'm engaged almost a year to a Scorpio (suppose to be incompatible)an
whoever... bf, gf, friend, celebrity, dxp user, historical person, humanitarian, writer, artist, singer, musician, poli
1. They care too much what other people think. 2. They conform too much to society's structure. 3. They want to be
I love looking at celebrities and picking out theyre aquarian traits.....Oprah is a left handed aquarian like me! shes m
Hi everyone I been looking for a place like this for ages so i got some things i wanna get off my chest! as an Aquarian
Yes, I am aware of the nature of Mercury and its effects on Aquarians, Geminis and Virgos. However, I find this inter
For all of you that have had the chance to romp with us? ;-P
Misunderstood?
i also don't think we are very good at chasing girls. we're not good at letting our guards down and we over think everything. the relationships that have been the best have been the ones where i was pursued. it's nice to know that somebody wants to get to know me. i realize i'm difficult to get to really know and asking somebody to get to know me is a lot to ask. if there is someone you are interested in spontaneity is the key imo and remember, emotions lead to bad things.