Loladoll
@Loladoll
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 175 · Topics: 8
Breaking up with Aqua
honest and straight to the point.
he will let you go if he's true aqua.
they're liberators after all lol you'll be ok.
he will let you go if he's true aqua.
they're liberators after all lol you'll be ok.
OP, what's your sign? What do you mean specifically by , "there's no ground to stand on?"
I guess what I'd like to know is what's really going on?
I guess what I'd like to know is what's really going on?
Straight to the point I'm an aqua and I'd appreciate that . What to expect in return ? I think he'd understand
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Posted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
Posted by starwarsIt was more a go with the flow thing. I gave him a key because I'm chornically late and it grew from there. I don't mind sharing but this is way too stressful.
why did you let him move in?
where you aware that you were going to share all your resources with him? did you make any agreements beforehand or just went with the flow like all virgos/aquas out there?
It's not like he has access to my bank account or anything like that. I also don't give him money.
But was definitely a mistake.
Posted by LoladollPosted by starwarsIt was more a go with the flow thing. I gave him a key because I'm chornically late and it grew from there. I don't mind sharing but this is way too stressful.
why did you let him move in?
where you aware that you were going to share all your resources with him? did you make any agreements beforehand or just went with the flow like all virgos/aquas out there?
It's not like he has access to my bank account or anything like that. I also don't give him money.
But was definitely a mistake.click to expand
Def a mistake on both parts coz your decision in that ruined what could have been amazing. You both just did t the wrong way.. I will say to ask for a break, as him get him to move out from your place, tell him you still love him but want sometime alone. Do not put a demand, as it will back fire. He will grow up and man up on his own if he truly loves you. The energy will shift back to what it shud be. (Masculine and feminine) and it will get better.
You need to let him be a man and treat him as one. Aquarius are fixed masculine energy and deep down he's craving it. How do you expect him to be a man if you are the one playing the masculinity in a relationship. Do some research on that ( YouTube ) and such. This happens with alot of couples. ESP if they stop having sex, men lose their masculinity , woman takes over and the problems start from there..
Posted by saweetz1988Hmm...interesting.
You need to let him be a man and treat him as one. Aquarius are fixed masculine energy and deep down he's craving it. How do you expect him to be a man if you are the one playing the masculinity in a relationship. Do some research on that ( YouTube ) and such. This happens with alot of couples. ESP if they stop having sex, men lose their masculinity , woman takes over and the problems start from there..., anyway you can pm me, I'm
Actually running a relationship coaching business lol n put alot of efforts in that department. I can give you a few phone calls sessions to discuss about it. 😉
We haven't stopped having sex. Lol. But I can see your point. I have zero interest in being the masculine energy in the relationship or in babying an adult.
Not sure that you meant it as me taking his role but I support myself because I'm an adult. I do believe in sharing and helping our SO but that should go both ways.
@infires
Thank you. That's very helpful
Thank you. That's very helpful
Posted by LoladollPosted by saweetz1988Hmm...interesting.
You need to let him be a man and treat him as one. Aquarius are fixed masculine energy and deep down he's craving it. How do you expect him to be a man if you are the one playing the masculinity in a relationship. Do some research on that ( YouTube ) and such. This happens with alot of couples. ESP if they stop having sex, men lose their masculinity , woman takes over and the problems start from there..., anyway you can pm me, I'm
Actually running a relationship coaching business lol n put alot of efforts in that department. I can give you a few phone calls sessions to discuss about it. 😉
We haven't stopped having sex. Lol. But I can see your point. I have zero interest in being the masculine energy in the relationship or in babying an adult.
Not sure that you meant it as me taking his role but I support myself because I'm an adult. I do believe in sharing and helping our SO but that should go both ways.
click to expand
Before quiting just do some research on it. Masculine /feminine energy etc. I was the same. Subconsciously we r doing it as women.... and talking or demanding about it will not get you want you want or need. His needs and her needs are also a great book. love languages r also a great book. He may not be giving what u need as he isn't receiving his love language need and you arnt either though those things if put in efforts and communication it can work. 🙂 there's no signs of cheating, physical abusive or verbal abuse that's why it can work n can b amazing 🙂 as I said pm, I spend a lot of time doing research, work and have a few similar clients .
I don't agre he's been using her at all. When she hands her the keys it's her choice not his. Stupid choice and when he did that he automatically lost the masculine side and the respect he needed as a man. And things must have went down hell from there. Women give and nature a man but that's not what a man need. They need respect. A lot of it, how do they get that? By us women trusting in their ability and step back and let them lead. The society now doesn't look like that anymore. Doesn't mean we women are not strong ! We totally are. We have to use a lot of mjsculine energy esp Virgo to manage household and life ! I'm a single mum and I have to use extreme musculine energy, though when I'm with my Aqua, I step back completely let go and let him lead the way! He loves that, he craves it he gets what he needs which in turns gives me what I need as a woman. Does this make sense? It took me a while to understand this. you giving him the keys is all musculine energy ! But u can turn it around trust me
And we have alot of conversation about this. !! Esp we talked about your situairon in a lot of married couples. I work with them as my clients. Continuing doing research. If there's no abusive, relationships can be worked at. It neeeds both parties though the only power you have is how you choose to react. We can get what we want, we just have to do it the right way
Posted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
click to expand
Posted by saweetz1988Just because she offered doesn't mean he had to oblige. He is using her. What is she getting out of this other than being used? She just complained that she's spent and drained. She feels unappreciated. What is he giving her? There is no even exchange here.
I don't agre he's been using her at all. When she hands her the keys it's her choice not his. Stupid choice and when he did that he automatically lost the masculine side and the respect he needed as a man. And things must have went down hell from there. Women give and nature a man but that's not what a man need. They need respect. A lot of it, how do they get that? By us women trusting in their ability and step back and let them lead. The society now doesn't look like that anymore. Doesn't mean we women are not strong ! We totally are. We have to use a lot of mjsculine energy esp Virgo to manage household and life ! I'm a single mum and I have to use extreme musculine energy, though when I'm with my Aqua, I step back completely let go and let him lead the way! He loves that, he craves it he gets what he needs which in turns gives me what I need as a woman. Does this make sense? It took me a while to understand this. you giving him the keys is all musculine energy ! But u can turn it around trust me
She's being used. I don't see the point in sugar coating it.
If you don't feel used OP continue to offer yourself on a platter and come back to tell me how things progress. He will continue to use and lose respect for you. And this thread isn't about how to fix it it's about how to end it, y'all here telling her to fix something that is so one sided to begin with, horrible advice but please do carry on. Most people here including you are in denial about their relationships. You hang around the aqua board because you too are being strung along by one.
Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
click to expand
Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
click to expand
Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
click to expand
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
Posted by bkbella86agree with everything you said.Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
click to expand
just curious, are you dating aqua man?
since you are one of our regular visitor here.
Posted by AerialViewLol, I am talking to two or three. But not seriously dating them. I just broke up with a gem in Jan. I'm feeling people out right now. And I like to get as much insight on any sign I date.Posted by bkbella86agree with everything you said.Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
just curious, are you dating aqua man?
since you are one of our regular visitor here.click to expand
Posted by AerialViewPosted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I end up feeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
click to expand
Exactly. This is her side of the story. She has a son because she treated him as one. Didn't give him a chance to be a man and that's also not his fault. Virgos r perfectionist. need to control everything. Aquas r very different . So you can't blame the man for everything. No men like to have a woman dominate or tell them what to do. Ask any man out there.
Posted by AerialViewit was her choice to allow him to be in her house and so everything for him in the first place. Now with sharing resources, she allowed that too. So you can't go n blame a man for * using * Her ..! If he was truly an asshole he would be cheating, abusing her n all that. But he's not doing that. He's enjoying her pleasing him. And that's not all his fault, she allowed that. and now shes using those things to brake it off, how can a man give, if she is the one giving everything. Step back and don't give or do anything at all, then we r talking. If he still doesn't man up and help out and give the love she needs then she can walk.Posted by bkbella86agree with everything you said.Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
just curious, are you dating aqua man?
since you are one of our regular visitor here.click to expand
** ps, I know this is a board about breaking up, but if couples out there run and break up when things get tough without working it out in the right way. Understand men and women r different n work at it... then I guarantee, we won't be having a relationship that last for more than 6 months .. if she was married to him, will you also suggest she get a divorce too? Seriously?
Umm... of course it's one sided. It's my side. No denying that.
I will disagree on one point because if I'm allowing him to share/ use. He has a choice to stand on his own two feet. I've never dated a man before who didn't and he wasn't like that early on.
When we first started dating he was contributing more, has since lost his stable gig but hasn't been hustling to make money or contribute. And is treating my home, things and food like they are his. It's been about 3-4 months of this. He is struggling with making money vs focusing on his art. I had the same struggle. I got a job.
You can contribute without money. Someone sharing and helping when time are rough is not a reason to take that time/ energy/ support as a given.
Sharing a key was a convience because I worked long hours at the whim of my bosses and couldnt always be on time, not an open call for him to move in. The move in was gradual with him spending more and more time here.
He's not a bum, which is why I said taking advantage. He is a loving and kind person. Hes not a stranger off the street. I've known him for 2 years. He seems to be comfortable with the current situation or unable to share a concrete plan for changing. I'm not comfortable with that or not being able to communicate with my boyfriend.
But the consensus seems breaking up is the best move and just being direct would be best way.
I will disagree on one point because if I'm allowing him to share/ use. He has a choice to stand on his own two feet. I've never dated a man before who didn't and he wasn't like that early on.
When we first started dating he was contributing more, has since lost his stable gig but hasn't been hustling to make money or contribute. And is treating my home, things and food like they are his. It's been about 3-4 months of this. He is struggling with making money vs focusing on his art. I had the same struggle. I got a job.
You can contribute without money. Someone sharing and helping when time are rough is not a reason to take that time/ energy/ support as a given.
Sharing a key was a convience because I worked long hours at the whim of my bosses and couldnt always be on time, not an open call for him to move in. The move in was gradual with him spending more and more time here.
He's not a bum, which is why I said taking advantage. He is a loving and kind person. Hes not a stranger off the street. I've known him for 2 years. He seems to be comfortable with the current situation or unable to share a concrete plan for changing. I'm not comfortable with that or not being able to communicate with my boyfriend.
But the consensus seems breaking up is the best move and just being direct would be best way.
Damn, shame on OP for caring and bringing him in. Aqua is perfect, how dare she care so much and take away his masculinity by feeding him. Shame. (sarcasm)
Posted by saweetz1988I agree with everything except he doesn't have to accept everything she offers or gives him.Posted by AerialViewit was her choice to allow him to be in her house and so everything for him in the first place. Now with sharing resources, she allowed that too. So you can't go n blame a man for * using * Her ..! If he was truly an asshole he would be cheating, abusing her n all that. But he's not doing that. He's enjoying her pleasing him. And that's not all his fault, she allowed that. and now shes using those things to brake it off, how can a man give, if she is the one giving everything. Step back and don't give or do anything at all, then we r talking. If he still doesn't man up and help out and give the love she needs then she can walk.Posted by bkbella86agree with everything you said.Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
just curious, are you dating aqua man?
since you are one of our regular visitor here.click to expand
He could decline politely. That's why I felt he was using her.
That's a lot to deal with OP and I definitely understand. If you two have already spoken about how you feel about him not helping more, standing in his role as the man, not being on the same page and other things you guys don't agree on, and he hasn't changed then it is time to part ways. It's not fair to you to have to continue in a relationship that you feel unfulfilled in. Just tell him straight up how you feel, I'm sure he will appreciate your honesty more than anything.
Posted by infiresI agree
he could help you out with and pay/share his bills, he is a artist which is fine but does he make a living out of it or is it just a hobby?
What if you ever have kids with him? Will you be providing for him and the kids? Do you think the kids will have any respect for the dad? Do you feel you are starting to lose respect for him- for girls I think once you lose that respect for your man.. it's really hard to get that back .and really make your relationship work. Reason why you are here ,is because you've already reached that point
If you are completely still in love with him and happy to be the breadwinner that's another story. Clearly you're unhappy
Posted by LoladollVirgo here and dated an Aqua for 5 years. Your Aqua sounds like him.
Hi All,
I've been with my Aqua for a bit over a year and although I really love him but we aren't compatible. The last few months have been especially draining (relationship, finances, everything). I feel better when we're apart.
We've been arguing a lot and when I say our relationship isn't working he ignores it. If we could communicate I would try to work it out but he just plays word games and refuses to acknowledge his role in anything.
I want to break up with him and I don't want to be friends. I just can't deal anymore.
Should I just cut to the chase with cold logic?
Should I explain or keep it to straight to the point?
Are there any Aqua- specific behaviors I can expect in return?
There is a lot of love but no ground to stand on, so to speak. I'm really sad but can't see any other way.
The fact that you’ve already made up your mind and is firm on it means you've checked out of the relationship. You need to be direct, but not cold. Let him down gently, but be firm enough where he understands you're serious and make it a clear message with no room for ambiguous hope. He will try to coax you to stay and like the Virgos we are we want to stay to help to make our partners a better person because we feel like a failure otherwise. But don't play into his emotions if he tries to reel you in. Stay firm. Even after the breakup he will try to send you messages and pics reminiscing the great times, but continue to move forward. I wish you the best.
Posted by bkbella86Posted by saweetz1988I agree with everything except he doesn't have to accept everything she offers or gives him.Posted by AerialViewit was her choice to allow him to be in her house and so everything for him in the first place. Now with sharing resources, she allowed that too. So you can't go n blame a man for * using * Her ..! If he was truly an asshole he would be cheating, abusing her n all that. But he's not doing that. He's enjoying her pleasing him. And that's not all his fault, she allowed that. and now shes using those things to brake it off, how can a man give, if she is the one giving everything. Step back and don't give or do anything at all, then we r talking. If he still doesn't man up and help out and give the love she needs then she can walk.Posted by bkbella86agree with everything you said.Posted by AerialViewAgreed but Isn't that almost every OP on here?Posted by bkbella86to be fair this is very one sided. it's obvious he couldn't speak for himself here.Posted by AerialViewHmmm back at yaPosted by bkbella86hmmmPosted by LoladollWow he's using you. I wouldn't worry about how I break it to him.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon and Scorp Venus.
He's a Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Moon.
The three major things for me "no ground to stand on" are
1. I'm working full time 9-5 while he does art. He lives with me and all my resources are shared. (He has an office/ car, that I don't have shared access to) I do all the traditional woman stuff and am the sole breadwinner. And also have little time for my own art.
2. We don't seem to be on the same page about how to move forward on goals: saving, prioritizing, building, or even establishing a clear idea of what life looks together
3. When we try to talk about the above it's like we don't speak the same language. I efeeling like he full of shit and he seems to think I'm too concrete.
So I'm stressed, tired and feel a bit taken advantage. He acts very self-righteous, free-spirited, etc without acknowledging all the freaking effort that goes into him having thing like a bed, food, apartment.
Women are not supposed to build men up that way, that is why he is treating you like you don't matter right now. A man should build himself up.
You don't have a man, you have a grown son.
Drop him.
We aren't ever able to get the full story but based on the details provided I can conclude she is being used. She's has taken on the role of both male and female in the relationship. Working and taking care of home. The resources he does have he doesn't share with her but he has free reign on everything including her body I'm sure. This is crazy the more I type it out.
I gaurentee if OP asked her dad or brothers what they think of this scenario they would advise her the same. In addition to being pissed that their sis or daughter is getting got by a dude.
Just cray.
just curious, are you dating aqua man?
since you are one of our regular visitor here.
He could decline politely. That's why I felt he was using her.click to expand
He could have but it was there for him. It was her choice to give it all. N I'm sure at the time she was happy with her decision. if he was abusing her, cheating on her n using her money then that's him using her.
Stop giving everything. Ask Him to pay half if the bills. Go out with girlfriends a lot.. stop doing his chores and work...express what u need from him in writing... without trying to sound demanding... give it a month. If he doesn't improve, then brake up completely. ( my 2 cents)
Posted by VirgoreanThank you! I wrote out a long letter explaining both so I could clear my head and have something firm to say to him.Posted by LoladollVirgo here and dated an Aqua for 5 years. Your Aqua sounds like him.
Hi All,
I've been with my Aqua for a bit over a year and although I really love him but we aren't compatible. The last few months have been especially draining (relationship, finances, everything). I feel better when we're apart.
We've been arguing a lot and when I say our relationship isn't working he ignores it. If we could communicate I would try to work it out but he just plays word games and refuses to acknowledge his role in anything.
I want to break up with him and I don't want to be friends. I just can't deal anymore.
Should I just cut to the chase with cold logic?
Should I explain or keep it to straight to the point?
Are there any Aqua- specific behaviors I can expect in return?
There is a lot of love but no ground to stand on, so to speak. I'm really sad but can't see any other way.
The fact that you’ve already made up your mind and is firm on it means you've checked out of the relationship. You need to be direct, but not cold. Let him down gently, but be firm enough where he understands you're serious and make it a clear message with no room for ambiguous hope. He will try to coax you to stay and like the Virgos we are we want to stay to help to make our partners a better person because we feel like a failure otherwise. But don't play into his emotions if he tries to reel you in. Stay firm. Even after the breakup he will try to send you messages and pics reminiscing the great times, but continue to move forward. I wish you the best.click to expand
I'm sorry it didn't work out with your Aqua. Wishing you a wonderful day and happy healing.
Posted by saweetz1988My respect level for him has dropped, as other posters have mentioned. You make it sound like I'm waiting on him hand and foot without friends or a life.
Stop giving everything. Ask Him to pay half if the bills. Go out with girlfriends a lot.. stop doing his chores and work...express what u need from him in writing... without trying to sound demanding... give it a month. If he doesn't improve, then brake up completely. ( my 2 cents)
In times of difficulty people reveal who they really are. And he is someone who will take advantage. If I can't give support to a partner when they need it without them taking advantage then they aren't the partner for me. Same standard that I would hold a friend or family too. Selfishness is not a problem with me. It's a problem with him.
I've had two other serious relationships one with a Cap (5 yrs) and one with a Scorp (3 yrs) and never had to teach them not to take advantage, how to be adults or play the withholding game so they would "behave."
They are men not dogs.
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Should I just cut to the chase with cold logic?
Should I explain or keep it to straight to the point?
Are there any Aqua- specific behaviors I can expect in return?
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