Gemgal101
@Gemgal101
8 Years
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Calling for clariry
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Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.click to expand
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Posted by Leo188881Yep. That's the one. We started seeing each other about 7 months after she passed. I know that still hurts him too and her anniversary is coming up but I think maybe I just need to remove the intimate side and see if he wants me and just me. It's killing me because I am so in love with him and I can't just turn it off.Posted by Gemgal101Maybe she was shit and he has realised what he's missing... or maybe they're just friends and he's being honest?Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Just a quick recap, his ex partner passed away and you guys got together soon after? Was that your Aqua?click to expand
Posted by Leo188881He's pushed away but he says it's him figuring himself out so it's been quiet but he has been initiating all the phone calls and catch ups. I've cut back on texts and phone calls just to give him space.Posted by Gemgal101Last time we talked, i suggested talking to him and not being afraid and i think you did that. Did it bring him closer or further?Posted by Leo188881Yep. That's the one. We started seeing each other about 7 months after she passed. I know that still hurts him too and her anniversary is coming up but I think maybe I just need to remove the intimate side and see if he wants me and just me. It's killing me because I am so in love with him and I can't just turn it off.Posted by Gemgal101Maybe she was shit and he has realised what he's missing... or maybe they're just friends and he's being honest?Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Just a quick recap, his ex partner passed away and you guys got together soon after? Was that your Aqua?
click to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI somehow think that too but is it because he can see that this situation is hurting me and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore because he can't give me an exclusive official relationship?
I’d say he’s trying to let you off easy.
Posted by Leo188881
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
This made me chuckle. Ty for the candidness
He's asking you to initiate more.
Posted by Leo188881I don't know. We had a massive argument last night because he thought I was flirting with some guy at this party (which no way in he'll I was) and he rang later and said "we're done. I know what you're like now.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by Leo188881He's pushed away but he says it's him figuring himself out so it's been quiet but he has been initiating all the phone calls and catch ups. I've cut back on texts and phone calls just to give him space.Posted by Gemgal101Last time we talked, i suggested talking to him and not being afraid and i think you did that. Did it bring him closer or further?Posted by Leo188881Yep. That's the one. We started seeing each other about 7 months after she passed. I know that still hurts him too and her anniversary is coming up but I think maybe I just need to remove the intimate side and see if he wants me and just me. It's killing me because I am so in love with him and I can't just turn it off.Posted by Gemgal101Maybe she was shit and he has realised what he's missing... or maybe they're just friends and he's being honest?Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Just a quick recap, his ex partner passed away and you guys got together soon after? Was that your Aqua?
So now have the tables turned and he feels pushed away?
click to expand
Called me a liar. Essentially breaking it off.
Not in my finest form I had a panic attack on the phone, hung up. He tried to call back multiple times but I didn't answer. He came around and said he was really worried about me. That i was scaring him and wasn't going to leave so he stayed til early morning. He apologised for going off at me then today he was litterally all over me like what he used to do months ago but thats when the comment about me needing to initiate sex and the ball being in my court came about.
I feel like he wants me to leave cos he feels he's hurting me. I've lost weight. No appetite and can't sleep and he hates all that cos it worries him.
Posted by LadyNeptuneReally. This is a fwb situation though. Can this ever be anything more? I took it more as though he was trying to let me go gently?
He's asking you to initiate more.
I thought aqua men didn't like being chased because it makes u seem desperate and not independent?
Posted by WaterbearerwearerTaking into consideration his wife passed almost 2 years ago? I am listening to u and believe me it's on the cards. Is it then because of me or because he Does have to figure himself out or both?Posted by Gemgal101Guuuuuuurl as soon as you hear those wordsPosted by Leo188881He's pushed away but he says it's him figuring himself out so it's been quiet but he has been initiating all the phone calls and catch ups. I've cut back on texts and phone calls just to give him space.Posted by Gemgal101Last time we talked, i suggested talking to him and not being afraid and i think you did that. Did it bring him closer or further?Posted by Leo188881Yep. That's the one. We started seeing each other about 7 months after she passed. I know that still hurts him too and her anniversary is coming up but I think maybe I just need to remove the intimate side and see if he wants me and just me. It's killing me because I am so in love with him and I can't just turn it off.Posted by Gemgal101Maybe she was shit and he has realised what he's missing... or maybe they're just friends and he's being honest?Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Just a quick recap, his ex partner passed away and you guys got together soon after? Was that your Aqua?
Need to figure myself out
Thats your cue to find the closest exit. With any sign and any man.click to expand
Posted by Leo188881Oh I told him he I wasn't flirting but it took a lot to convince him and I thought "why does he care if I was or wasn't. Is he jealous or looking for a reason for me to leave because he exploded or him leave me in this case because he thinks I'm a flirt and that just won't do?Posted by Gemgal101Posted by Leo188881I don't know. We had a massive argument last night because he thought I was flirting with some guy at this party (which no way in he'll I was) and he rang later and said "we're done. I know what you're like now.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by Leo188881He's pushed away but he says it's him figuring himself out so it's been quiet but he has been initiating all the phone calls and catch ups. I've cut back on texts and phone calls just to give him space.Posted by Gemgal101Last time we talked, i suggested talking to him and not being afraid and i think you did that. Did it bring him closer or further?Posted by Leo188881Yep. That's the one. We started seeing each other about 7 months after she passed. I know that still hurts him too and her anniversary is coming up but I think maybe I just need to remove the intimate side and see if he wants me and just me. It's killing me because I am so in love with him and I can't just turn it off.Posted by Gemgal101Maybe she was shit and he has realised what he's missing... or maybe they're just friends and he's being honest?Posted by Leo188881It is like an unofficial relationship but it's come to light that there is someone else who has made her move on him (for the last 2 months) The whole town is suspecting it and I pretty much got enough info the other day to suggest it was true. He has denied it completely.Posted by Gemgal101Sorry. That was a while ago so i don't remember all the details. I can't see why a FWB would care about you not making an effort for booty calls. It sounds like to him, you are in relationship but he just doesn't believe in labels. Screw with his head and ask if he wants to move in together and then neither of you will need to worry about the effort stuff.Posted by Leo188881Hi Leo188881. It's Not an official relationship per say though. We see each. Call each other all the time. We are fantastic friends and hes told me I'm in his most inner circle of close friends but we are intimate and have been for 18 months. Yes, I didn't walk away from it last time I was on here.
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
I know he doesn't believe in labels and is not ready for an official relationship but why ask me to make the effort if he is possibly shagging someone else?
Just a quick recap, his ex partner passed away and you guys got together soon after? Was that your Aqua?
So now have the tables turned and he feels pushed away?
Called me a liar. Essentially breaking it off.
Not in my finest form I had a panic attack on the phone, hung up. He tried to call back multiple times but I didn't answer. He came around and said he was really worried about me. That i was scaring him and wasn't going to leave so he stayed til early morning. He apologised for going off at me then today he was litterally all over me like what he used to do months ago but thats when the comment about me needing to initiate sex and the ball being in my court came about.
I feel like he wants me to leave cos he feels he's hurting me. I've lost weight. No appetite and can't sleep and he hates all that cos it worries him.
Wow! Ok so he's not committed but getting jealous and then chasing you to apologise because he thinks he just fucked it all up and he's asking you to make effort so he knows you want him too... he sounds insecure to me.
Tell him you weren't flirting and even if you were he hasn't commited to you and you've waited 18months anyway so that's proof enough. And if he wants your effort, it needs to come with a commitment of loyalty to each other.
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Posted by Leo188881Hate games but i guess I don't initiate because he has a child and not that easy to just go over. Have to make sure it's cool and he doesn't have friends around either.Posted by Gemgal101I dunno... my aqua and i are kind of equal. He calls at night and i start the texts in the morning. He always comes over to my place. Sometimes i ask him to, sometimes he asks if he can. I told him I'm dropping in to him at work tomorrow. So we kind of keep it balanced. There's no games unless you want to play them
I thought aqua men didn't like being chased because it makes u seem desperate and not independent?click to expand
Posted by Leo188881Posted by WhorpioPosted by Leo188881
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
This made me chuckle. Ty for the candidness
🤷 that's what he said though. I didn't mean it in a bad way. That's just how i understood it.click to expand
I agree. You just worded it like a motivational speaker or Oprah 😅😅
Posted by Leo188881I already feel like i know what the answer will be and he won't be able to provide that exclusivity but I have gone by his terms up until now.
I dunno. I'd tell him if he wants my effort, i need his loyalty. Reading this, i have realised i should appreciate my boring routine.
You've given this guy 18 months on his terms. Just demand what you want. You have nothing to lose if you're already thinking you've lost him
Posted by Leo188881Posted by WhorpioPosted by Leo188881
🤷 that's what he said though. I didn't mean it in a bad way. That's just how i understood it.
I agree. You just worded it like a motivational speaker or Oprah 😅😅
Lol. I'd love to be Oprah 😂click to expand
Posted by Leo188881True..Posted by Gemgal101Posted by Leo188881I already feel like i know what the answer will be and he won't be able to provide that exclusivity but I have gone by his terms up until now.
I dunno. I'd tell him if he wants my effort, i need his loyalty. Reading this, i have realised i should appreciate my boring routine.
You've given this guy 18 months on his terms. Just demand what you want. You have nothing to lose if you're already thinking you've lost himclick to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI am stressing him out cos he's told me and he says how concerned he is constantly asking when I've eaten and why won't I eat. Last night when he drove over he was intoxicated and shouldn't have driven but he did because he was so worried when I didn't answer my calls.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by LadyNeptuneReally. This is a fwb situation though. Can this ever be anything more? I took it more as though he was trying to let me go gently?
He's asking you to initiate more.
It’s become too convoluted. If you’re becoming unhealthy it will and would stress him out.
Aqua prefer drama in the sheets not in relos.click to expand
He doesn't need drama so I need to pull my head out and stop being an emotional mess.
Posted by SeleukosI've been thinking this too. The other day he got shirty with me about Something and I stood up for myself and defended what it was. He ending up apologising. I feel like he's doing this more - kinda testing whether I will stand up or be a mouse.
My one cent:
He wants you to start fighting so you both may reach relatiionship level once you have proven yourself.
In this situation though, what do you think I should do? Begin to initiate more?
Posted by WaterbearerwearerSo, do i say I want exclusivity because fwb is not healthy for me because I over think as to who else there might be with him (not from my self though cos I'm totally exclusive to him). I want hope I guess that this relationship will go to the next level. That he Does want me as much as I want him. He knows i am in love with him and he said a few months ago that he is not there yet with me.Posted by Gemgal101Be no filters about what you want.Posted by WaterbearerwearerI am stressing him out cos he's told me and he says how concerned he is constantly asking when I've eaten and why won't I eat. Last night when he drove over he was intoxicated and shouldn't have driven but he did because he was so worried when I didn't answer my calls.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by LadyNeptuneReally. This is a fwb situation though. Can this ever be anything more? I took it more as though he was trying to let me go gently?
He's asking you to initiate more.
It’s become too convoluted. If you’re becoming unhealthy it will and would stress him out.
Aqua prefer drama in the sheets not in relos.
He doesn't need drama so I need to pull my head out and stop being an emotional mess.
Figure out what that is... it’s not this drama surely.
Aqua men can get very caught up in the cycles too. He can’t and won’t help you emotionally file anything, he would struggle with that in himself.
Your physical needs he can ameliorate cos you know he’s generous af in the sheets or you wouldn’t be tripping this bad.
Just figure out if FWB is a healthy option for you.
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Posted by tizianiWho's firing though?
He sounds like a mess. Something tells me you'll have to dodge a bullet on this one eventually.
Posted by tizianiJust being a smartarse.Posted by Gemgal101Well then, you sound like you're enjoying yourself. Fair play.Posted by tizianiWho's firing though?
He sounds like a mess. Something tells me you'll have to dodge a bullet on this one eventually.click to expand
I Love him to bits but it's killing me so not enjoying in a way.
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI won't be hostile but I think it is time I stood up for myself. He appreciates when I do and I know he'll appreciate my honesty. A lot of people have noticed my health has deteriorated but that's me being so anxious and stressed about it all but they don't know what's going on.Posted by Gemgal101Hell yeah you tell him that you’ve realised that you’re not cut out for FWBPosted by WaterbearerwearerSo, do i say I want exclusivity because fwb is not healthy for me because I over think as to who else there might be with him (not from my self though cos I'm totally exclusive to him). I want hope I guess that this relationship will go to the next level. That he Does want me as much as I want him. He knows i am in love with him and he said a few months ago that he is not there yet with me.Posted by Gemgal101Be no filters about what you want.Posted by WaterbearerwearerI am stressing him out cos he's told me and he says how concerned he is constantly asking when I've eaten and why won't I eat. Last night when he drove over he was intoxicated and shouldn't have driven but he did because he was so worried when I didn't answer my calls.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by LadyNeptuneReally. This is a fwb situation though. Can this ever be anything more? I took it more as though he was trying to let me go gently?
He's asking you to initiate more.
It’s become too convoluted. If you’re becoming unhealthy it will and would stress him out.
Aqua prefer drama in the sheets not in relos.
He doesn't need drama so I need to pull my head out and stop being an emotional mess.
Figure out what that is... it’s not this drama surely.
Aqua men can get very caught up in the cycles too. He can’t and won’t help you emotionally file anything, he would struggle with that in himself.
Your physical needs he can ameliorate cos you know he’s generous af in the sheets or you wouldn’t be tripping this bad.
Just figure out if FWB is a healthy option for you.
You tell him you need boundaries and limit settings cos you’re not a robot with an on and off button. Your health has suffered enough.
Keep it very simple. Just lay it the fuk out Aqua love courage. Don’t be hostile though and maintain eye contact.
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I think I'm just afraid of losing him altogether but I know he truly loves our friendship.
Thank you. You have given me courage.
Posted by bumboklattWhat's the Gemini card we play? Don't mean that sarcastically either.Posted by Leo188881yeah Geminis stop playing the whole gemini card with your fellow air signs
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
just be legit for once
its alright weve seen both facesclick to expand
Posted by Leo188881Just to add, but he has always said he wished he hadve met me later than what he did so yes, the timing was wrong but no one can ever see that though. I wasn't looking and neither was he.Posted by Senorita_LLPosted by Leo188881So, it's not mutual? Normally, one of them will expect more? Is that it?Posted by Senorita_LL
Why is it that FWB seemed to always have issue more than those who's in exclusive relationship?
I'm sorry but can anyone make me understand please? Aren't FWB supposingly to be just for sex with no emotions involve? No? 🤔🤔
Because they don't usually start like that. It starts with the expectation of a relationship. One party discloses they don't want relationship but the other wants to stay anyway hoping it's status will eventually change. Sometimes it works out but usually it doesn't.
When it's a FWB agreement with boundaries from inception then it's less complicated.
If that was the case, it isn't FWB then. More to one sided, imo. But okay.
Your understanding is correct. It's one person thinking they're in a relationship with someone who isn't in it with them. A situationship.
This one is a bit different because i think the timing was just really bad but he likes her too. His wife died 7 months prior so it's probably deeper because of the vulnerability. That usually creates stronger attachments
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Posted by Gemgal101Could it be you don't initiate very often?
If an aqua male says to you "Im not doing the chasing anymore (for sex). You need too." What exactly does that mean?
Does it mean they are bored with you and giving me an out option? Are they interested but testing me to see my response?
Posted by tizianiSince we started seeing each other he has been on the biggest rollercoaster. He talks about his deceased wife still and he is seeking counselling. His ups and downs are better now but now there is more anger and frustration when he is down.Posted by Gemgal101From what I made of your story he just seems emotionally high maintenance and a mess. Dunno what else to say other than I would keep a very big buffer between me and someone acting like that.Posted by tizianiJust being a smartarse.Posted by Gemgal101Well then, you sound like you're enjoying yourself. Fair play.Posted by tizianiWho's firing though?
He sounds like a mess. Something tells me you'll have to dodge a bullet on this one eventually.
I Love him to bits but it's killing me so not enjoying in a way.
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Posted by enfant_terribleI don't because I guess I feel like he has control and likes it that way and I mentioned earlier that he has a child so I can't just rock up at his anytime. It has to be planned.Posted by Gemgal101Could it be you don't initiate very often?
If an aqua male says to you "Im not doing the chasing anymore (for sex). You need too." What exactly does that mean?
Does it mean they are bored with you and giving me an out option? Are they interested but testing me to see my response?click to expand
Posted by bumboklattI thought aquas didn't like ultimatums?Posted by Gemgal101well im not a gemini so take this entirely from an Aquarians point of view:Posted by bumboklattWhat's the Gemini card we play? Don't mean that sarcastically either.Posted by Leo188881yeah Geminis stop playing the whole gemini card with your fellow air signs
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
just be legit for once
its alright weve seen both faces
were lazy, we are not chasers, we are getters
Aquarians tend to be consistent to the point where we expect solidarity and for our partner to sit still for a good while so that we can think ahead
the fact that we make an effort at all is cause we know we will get it
we know things and if you keep wearing him out hes gonna get over it
also hes testing you. ultimatums are our thingclick to expand
I thought he might be testing me and if so, he has for a while. But what is he testing me for?
That I'll iniate more?
That I should make the effort more?
That I'll say I want more and want exclusivity?
I said I'd never give him an ultimatum cos I thought if I did, he would say see ya!
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowI am very emotionally attached. I have said to him months ago that I wanted more but I guess it wasn't in a very direct manner.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by bumboklattWhat's the Gemini card we play? Don't mean that sarcastically either.Posted by Leo188881yeah Geminis stop playing the whole gemini card with your fellow air signs
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
just be legit for once
its alright weve seen both faces
Looks like you are emotionally attached... He is giving you enough to keep you on your toes.
If you want more, tell him. Be strong! Either you are gonna get it all or nothing.
click to expand
Posted by bumboklattYes. We are full of questions but I love what u wrote.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by bumboklattI thought aquas didn't like ultimatums?Posted by Gemgal101well im not a gemini so take this entirely from an Aquarians point of view:Posted by bumboklattWhat's the Gemini card we play? Don't mean that sarcastically either.Posted by Leo188881yeah Geminis stop playing the whole gemini card with your fellow air signs
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
just be legit for once
its alright weve seen both faces
were lazy, we are not chasers, we are getters
Aquarians tend to be consistent to the point where we expect solidarity and for our partner to sit still for a good while so that we can think ahead
the fact that we make an effort at all is cause we know we will get it
we know things and if you keep wearing him out hes gonna get over it
also hes testing you. ultimatums are our thing
I thought he might be testing me and if so, he has for a while. But what is he testing me for?
That I'll iniate more?
That I should make the effort more?
That I'll say I want more and want exclusivity?
I said I'd never give him an ultimatum cos I thought if I did, he would say see ya!
geminis geminis sooo many questions lol
we dont like to be given ultimatums cause that interferes with ours, were pretty arrogantly fixed(not a bad thing necessarily)
its not so much about initiating
its like he found a fault in himself that he sees reflected in you and now he needs to test that fault to see if he can exploit it (shameful i know)
tolerate it (unlikely) or
change it
its funny cause its our way of telling you guys to be yourselves, this is your performance
were just guys and we need feedback just like all human beings
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He said to me that there's certain things he Does that he doesn't like doing to me. He wouldn't say what but it was a certain behaviour and he didn't like treating me like that.
I almost feel like he's pushing my buttons to wait for me to stand my ground and then he'll say "about time woman ".
So stand my ground and say what I need to say?
The iniating thing is all part of this test though? He did say the balls in my court now followed directly by the comment that he doesn't want a relationship.
Posted by tizianiWhether he accepts me and what I want?Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowI guess this is the real story of most long-term relationships in truth. Acceptance.
Why do girls care about passing a guy's test? I failed all the test a guy kept for me and he was still with me!
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Posted by Gemgal101Posted by enfant_terribleI don't because I guess I feel like he has control and likes it that way and I mentioned earlier that he has a child so I can't just rock up at his anytime. It has to be planned.Posted by Gemgal101Could it be you don't initiate very often?
If an aqua male says to you "Im not doing the chasing anymore (for sex). You need too." What exactly does that mean?
Does it mean they are bored with you and giving me an out option? Are they interested but testing me to see my response?
click to expand
Control over your urges?
Just projecting here but it kinda sucks that I have to take it on me to constantly initiate sex just bc Im a guy and SUPPOSEDLY more sexual. So basically with passive girls you never get to learn how often is too often, and when u don't initiate neither do they.. and then you start asking yourself whether or not maybe she just isn't up for it as often and so you take a step back.. and things get to a halt. I mean I don't like feeling like a total Taliban in the sack, like she's my cattle or somethin
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI like that you said that fear doesn't exist unless u create it. I think too look much and am so negative about everything that I lose myself.Posted by Gemgal101If he’s coming to you when you’re stressed and it’s not ending in sex you can be assured he cares.Posted by WaterbearerwearerI won't be hostile but I think it is time I stood up for myself. He appreciates when I do and I know he'll appreciate my honesty. A lot of people have noticed my health has deteriorated but that's me being so anxious and stressed about it all but they don't know what's going on.Posted by Gemgal101Hell yeah you tell him that you’ve realised that you’re not cut out for FWBPosted by WaterbearerwearerSo, do i say I want exclusivity because fwb is not healthy for me because I over think as to who else there might be with him (not from my self though cos I'm totally exclusive to him). I want hope I guess that this relationship will go to the next level. That he Does want me as much as I want him. He knows i am in love with him and he said a few months ago that he is not there yet with me.Posted by Gemgal101Be no filters about what you want.Posted by WaterbearerwearerI am stressing him out cos he's told me and he says how concerned he is constantly asking when I've eaten and why won't I eat. Last night when he drove over he was intoxicated and shouldn't have driven but he did because he was so worried when I didn't answer my calls.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by LadyNeptuneReally. This is a fwb situation though. Can this ever be anything more? I took it more as though he was trying to let me go gently?
He's asking you to initiate more.
It’s become too convoluted. If you’re becoming unhealthy it will and would stress him out.
Aqua prefer drama in the sheets not in relos.
He doesn't need drama so I need to pull my head out and stop being an emotional mess.
Figure out what that is... it’s not this drama surely.
Aqua men can get very caught up in the cycles too. He can’t and won’t help you emotionally file anything, he would struggle with that in himself.
Your physical needs he can ameliorate cos you know he’s generous af in the sheets or you wouldn’t be tripping this bad.
Just figure out if FWB is a healthy option for you.
You tell him you need boundaries and limit settings cos you’re not a robot with an on and off button. Your health has suffered enough.
Keep it very simple. Just lay it the fuk out Aqua love courage. Don’t be hostile though and maintain eye contact.
I think I'm just afraid of losing him altogether but I know he truly loves our friendship.
Thank you. You have given me courage.
Try and not fear what will go wrong. It doesn’t exist until you create it. We always assume that our spoken truth is too unsettling or controversial in relationships.
It frees you so embrace it. Just shoot from the hip.click to expand
Truth will set u free??
Posted by enfant_terribleI don't necessarily iniate what night we catch up but I can initiate when we are there together and how often...Posted by Gemgal101Posted by enfant_terribleI don't because I guess I feel like he has control and likes it that way and I mentioned earlier that he has a child so I can't just rock up at his anytime. It has to be planned.Posted by Gemgal101Could it be you don't initiate very often?
If an aqua male says to you "Im not doing the chasing anymore (for sex). You need too." What exactly does that mean?
Does it mean they are bored with you and giving me an out option? Are they interested but testing me to see my response?
Control over your urges?
Just projecting here but it kinda sucks that I have to take it on me to constantly initiate sex just bc Im a guy and SUPPOSEDLY more sexual. So basically with passive girls you never get to learn how often is too often, and when u don't initiate neither do they.. and then you start asking yourself whether or not maybe she just isn't up for it as often and so you take a step back.. and things get to a halt. I mean I don't like feeling like a total Taliban in the sack, like she's my cattle or somethin
click to expand
Posted by SeleukosSo start iniating more and see how that goes?Posted by Gemgal101Standing up is always a must in my opinion.Posted by SeleukosI've been thinking this too. The other day he got shirty with me about Something and I stood up for myself and defended what it was. He ending up apologising. I feel like he's doing this more - kinda testing whether I will stand up or be a mouse.
My one cent:
He wants you to start fighting so you both may reach relatiionship level once you have proven yourself.
In this situation though, what do you think I should do? Begin to initiate more?
Starting to initate would be my advice since that gives him more security.
I judge people based on how much their actions support the claims of what they value.
If you fight for what you claim to like I can start trusting you a bit more.click to expand
And then at a later date tell him what I want?
Not sure what to do. Is it the iniating thing that he's testing me on?
He wants you to come on to him, jump on him, what's wrong with that?
It's sexy
I rarely wait to be asked
😈
It's sexy
I rarely wait to be asked
😈
Next time you meet, grab him, push him up against a wall, kiss him and grab his crotch
He will get the message
I loved doing that
haha
😛
He will get the message
I loved doing that
haha
😛
Posted by MyStarsShineI did meet up with him again and let's just say he appreciated my efforts 😉
Next time you meet, grab him, push him up against a wall, kiss him and grab his crotch
He will get the message
I loved doing that
haha
😛
Posted by bumboklattSorry to be a pain but your saying that my actions will prove to him that he is what I want because he feels that I'm kinda taking what we have for granted? Is it just all part of the test or is it that he is feeling somewhat like I'm losing interest?Posted by Gemgal101classicPosted by bumboklattYes. We are full of questions but I love what u wrote.Posted by Gemgal101Posted by bumboklattI thought aquas didn't like ultimatums?Posted by Gemgal101well im not a gemini so take this entirely from an Aquarians point of view:Posted by bumboklattWhat's the Gemini card we play? Don't mean that sarcastically either.Posted by Leo188881yeah Geminis stop playing the whole gemini card with your fellow air signs
Maybe he feels like you aren't making any effort and if you don't start, he's leaving.
just be legit for once
its alright weve seen both faces
were lazy, we are not chasers, we are getters
Aquarians tend to be consistent to the point where we expect solidarity and for our partner to sit still for a good while so that we can think ahead
the fact that we make an effort at all is cause we know we will get it
we know things and if you keep wearing him out hes gonna get over it
also hes testing you. ultimatums are our thing
I thought he might be testing me and if so, he has for a while. But what is he testing me for?
That I'll iniate more?
That I should make the effort more?
That I'll say I want more and want exclusivity?
I said I'd never give him an ultimatum cos I thought if I did, he would say see ya!
geminis geminis sooo many questions lol
we dont like to be given ultimatums cause that interferes with ours, were pretty arrogantly fixed(not a bad thing necessarily)
its not so much about initiating
its like he found a fault in himself that he sees reflected in you and now he needs to test that fault to see if he can exploit it (shameful i know)
tolerate it (unlikely) or
change it
its funny cause its our way of telling you guys to be yourselves, this is your performance
were just guys and we need feedback just like all human beings
He said to me that there's certain things he Does that he doesn't like doing to me. He wouldn't say what but it was a certain behaviour and he didn't like treating me like that.
I almost feel like he's pushing my buttons to wait for me to stand my ground and then he'll say "about time woman ".
So stand my ground and say what I need to say?
The iniating thing is all part of this test though? He did say the balls in my court now followed directly by the comment that he doesn't want a relationship.
i was gonna say the ball is in your court lol
its a great test
just be yourself, be naturalclick to expand
What if there is someone else that he's seeing that is highly suspected at the moment? Is he seeing whether I'm worth it in comparison to her? I think he knows I'm suspect of it (but has denied it completely) and so are a lot of people in town (small town) but is it if he wants to see whether I'll fight for his attention or walk away?
Thank you for your insight. I almost feel like he knows I know that there was/is someone else but he actually felt a little guilty perhaps? and now he's testing me to see if I believe he's worth being with. I don't want to end it and I will begin to show my actions as to how I truly feel and see if my actions to him speak enough. Just hurts that he did that instead of just getting rid of me but I somehow thought he may have been seeing if I was worth something to him and how he would feel.
Thank you for your insight. Appreciate it
Thank you for your insight. Appreciate it
Step up your game! You're being lazy!
Posted by AerialViewI didn't think I was doing anything that he didn't want. He said he wanted space at one stage. That i was too clingy but maybe cos I've been too emotional and wanting more instead of going with the flow.
Step up your game! You're being lazy!
Any game on suggestions that aren't too mushy that he would appreciate it (apart from the bedroom game)??
Posted by Gemgal101I thought this was all about sex? Judging by the subtitle.Posted by AerialViewI didn't think I was doing anything that he didn't want. He said he wanted space at one stage. That i was too clingy but maybe cos I've been too emotional and wanting more instead of going with the flow.
Step up your game! You're being lazy!
Any game on suggestions that aren't too mushy that he would appreciate it (apart from the bedroom game)??click to expand
I haven't read all the comments.
Posted by AerialViewNo. It's Not. Please read.Posted by Gemgal101I thought this was all about sex? Judging by the subtitle.Posted by AerialViewI didn't think I was doing anything that he didn't want. He said he wanted space at one stage. That i was too clingy but maybe cos I've been too emotional and wanting more instead of going with the flow.
Step up your game! You're being lazy!
Any game on suggestions that aren't too mushy that he would appreciate it (apart from the bedroom game)??
I haven't read all the comments.click to expand
Posted by WittyGem88What do u mean by this? Does it mean this attachment scares them?Posted by Senorita_LLAquas dont do well in fwb. I noticed they are the ones who get attached first especislly if a gem is involved.
Why is it that FWB seemed to always have issue more than those who's in exclusive relationship?
I'm sorry but can anyone make me understand please? Aren't FWB supposingly to be just for sex with no emotions involve? No? 🤔🤔click to expand
Posted by dilettanteVenus in Aries. Does that help?
how have i come 7 pages and no one asks if this aqua has any piscean placements??
if this fools venus is in pisces, that will clarify a whole lottttaaaaa mess
1.5 years of a non labelled relationship— that sounds like a dream piscean relationship if there ever was one.
ps if someone did mention it, sorry #mercinsag oversight
I have learned that being direct is great. I have said I crave more than sex to gauge their reaction
What I have said and it worked
"I want you but not just sexually. I want to know you mentally, spiritually, emotionally and see what you're about. I'm not interested in just hooking up. You down for that or not?"
His answer will determine everything you need to know. You have spent 18mo with this guy, get yourself a direct answer.
What I have said and it worked
"I want you but not just sexually. I want to know you mentally, spiritually, emotionally and see what you're about. I'm not interested in just hooking up. You down for that or not?"
His answer will determine everything you need to know. You have spent 18mo with this guy, get yourself a direct answer.
Posted by dilettanteNo Pisces placementsPosted by Gemgal101lmao nopePosted by dilettanteVenus in Aries. Does that help?
how have i come 7 pages and no one asks if this aqua has any piscean placements??
if this fools venus is in pisces, that will clarify a whole lottttaaaaa mess
1.5 years of a non labelled relationship— that sounds like a dream piscean relationship if there ever was one.
ps if someone did mention it, sorry #mercinsag oversight
disregard my comments... unless he does have some pisces placements... but you'd probably have mentioned that.
click to expand
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