I am a happy aqua woman who wants a depressed aries man that I use to date 12 years ago. He is depressed because he is not where he want to be financially and his divorce was final 1 year ago. Some people say i come off as though financially I am great but I am not and he did not ask me that . And I do not focus on my have nots I try to be happy with what I got. He disappeared after talking for about a month and that is normally me and I can not take it.
But I want to know can I an aqua female bring him out of his depression the aries man?
Sorry can she be with an aries man?
I know that its not my job to fix him mainly because I am not together myself. But do I call every now and then just to check on him as a friend or just walk away from him completely?
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Feb 26, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
You can't withdrawl what he's NOT willing/ready to deposit.
If he's not ready yet to fully invest himself in you or a new relationship just yet, don't take it so personal. It's not you, it's him. And if you care about him so deeply, you'll back off enough so that he'll have time to get himself together. Besides, he won't be excited about fulfilling anything long-term with you until HE gets himself together & until HE knows that he's coming into the situation being the best man that he can be OR until he gets back to where he used to be.
It's great that you aren't knocking him for his current circumstances, BUT he IS. So respect that his ability to commit entirely depends on how he defines his manhood. And like most men, how financially AND emotionally stable they are is what determines whether or not they feel in the "mood" to start a commitment with someone else.
There's really nothing you can do to bring him out of his depression. Sure, you can be there for him, listen to him vent, & support him that might help. But ultimately HE is the 1 who has to be ready to lift himself out of this depression. And he must 1st acknowledge the source of his true depression before he OR you can reap the fruits/benefits of that.
The after-math of divorces can be rough. It takes some people (especially men) long periods of time to fully heal & get over a previous marriage, especially if they lost alot financially or emotionally during the marriage. And other women being in his face & asking him for commitment (even if they're great women) just over complicate things b/c it adds more things to his plate.
I understand & I have stepped back and I havent heard from him in 5weeks until I text him and said "R u ok? Just checking." And he did respond to say that he has been working alot. Then he called and said the samething and that he will call me back. I don't know if he locked my number in or if he just caught my voice and now it has been a week and he haven't called back so I want be calling anymore. I thought about calling every now and then but I am having second thoughts about that.
The main thing is that I have backed off.
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Oct 19, 2010Comments: 14 · Posts: 937 · Topics: 33
dated one...the only thing i cannot stand is their child-like behavior during arguments.logical fallacies all over the place.