taxidermymermaid
@taxidermymermaid
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 55 · Topics: 10
Can giving him space makes things better?
I forgot to mention. I have been guilt-tripping him. I feel bad about that 😢 And just generally not making him feel good. Every day since he's been there I have been displeased. I know, my fault. Just looking for some suggestions on what would remedy this. thanks!
Yes, give him some space.
But understand that not only does your Aqua NOT appreciate feeling/being bombarded on his vacation, he also can't stand being bombarded when he's at home & living his daily life
If you give him space now, good. BUT if when he gets back, you're back to riding him again, you'll get the same cold-shoulder & you'll begin pushing him away
If pushing him away is the LAST thing you want to happen, get to work NOW on fixing yourself.
You seem insecure, demanding, needy & possessive. Understand that Aquas don't have to be around you or hear your voice every 5 seconds just to prove that they love you.
B/c they're not possessive/demanding themselves, they can't stand for others to be that way.
If he's truly not giving you the attention you deserve, don't back down & of course discuss this with him. And as with anything, if the other person just isn't "hearing you out" then that's when it's time to make a decision.
But if you're mistaking your insecurities for him not paying you enough attention, that means YOU'RE the problem. And trust me, your Aqua knows this, so don't be surprised if you see him making no efforts to "fix" the situation. He's not gonna "fix" anything b/c he knows deep down that he's not the problem & that he's damned if he does/doesn't simply b/c you're insecure
And if you find it too hard to fix the issues within you that are causing you to be so needy/emotionally-unbalanced, you either need to be single OR go find someone who doesn't mind all the attention.
Either way, Aquas are dead serious when they tell you that they don't like or appreciate someone who is constantly riding them. They'll never change into being people that don't mind posessiveness. No, they'll just go find another girlfriend that understands/appreciates the concept of space
But understand that not only does your Aqua NOT appreciate feeling/being bombarded on his vacation, he also can't stand being bombarded when he's at home & living his daily life
If you give him space now, good. BUT if when he gets back, you're back to riding him again, you'll get the same cold-shoulder & you'll begin pushing him away
If pushing him away is the LAST thing you want to happen, get to work NOW on fixing yourself.
You seem insecure, demanding, needy & possessive. Understand that Aquas don't have to be around you or hear your voice every 5 seconds just to prove that they love you.
B/c they're not possessive/demanding themselves, they can't stand for others to be that way.
If he's truly not giving you the attention you deserve, don't back down & of course discuss this with him. And as with anything, if the other person just isn't "hearing you out" then that's when it's time to make a decision.
But if you're mistaking your insecurities for him not paying you enough attention, that means YOU'RE the problem. And trust me, your Aqua knows this, so don't be surprised if you see him making no efforts to "fix" the situation. He's not gonna "fix" anything b/c he knows deep down that he's not the problem & that he's damned if he does/doesn't simply b/c you're insecure
And if you find it too hard to fix the issues within you that are causing you to be so needy/emotionally-unbalanced, you either need to be single OR go find someone who doesn't mind all the attention.
Either way, Aquas are dead serious when they tell you that they don't like or appreciate someone who is constantly riding them. They'll never change into being people that don't mind posessiveness. No, they'll just go find another girlfriend that understands/appreciates the concept of space
aquas are assholes 😛
fixed-fixed sign relationships are VERY difficult but of all pairings, they are truly textbook. i would suggest reading LOTS on scorpio woman aquarius man pairings. focus on understanding the negatives. this won't stop conflicts but if you're aware of the potential, it makes it easier to change course before/during an argument.
fixed-fixed conflicts can be summed up very simply, agree to disagree. listen to and try to understand the other person's position and if you can't reach an accord, agree to disagree and learn to accept one another for who you are.
with respect to aquas, they're emotional voids. as a water sign, you will need emotional reassurance or some signs of passion/intensity but sorry, it ain't gone happen...at least not to your satisfaction.
where he may not display his emotions in a way that is "normal," he will let you know in other ways that he's committed to and cares for you.
you also have to recognize that he's not a leo. he's not some over the top romantic but he can be your best friend.
unfortunately, we as women want friendship but we want the guy in the romance novel too. unless his chart has significant water/fire placements, their will be lots of deep friendship but non-traditional romance and this can be hard to accept. you'll feel as if he's withholding, that he just doesn't feel the same way you do...wrong.
learn to curb your desire to change the way he expresses himself. he's not you. you can't bully or manipulate him. he's just as fixed, just as stubborn, just as unrelenting and unchangeable as you.
if you want him to bend, you have to look inwardly and figure out where you're lacking and what you're doing that results in his not giving you what you desire because if he loves you, he WILL give you what you want...on his terms and when you least expect it.
lastly, when pushed, an aqua will claim to change, but go right back in place when your back is turned. when pushed too far/too hard/too much, they simply leave.
fixed-fixed sign relationships are VERY difficult but of all pairings, they are truly textbook. i would suggest reading LOTS on scorpio woman aquarius man pairings. focus on understanding the negatives. this won't stop conflicts but if you're aware of the potential, it makes it easier to change course before/during an argument.
fixed-fixed conflicts can be summed up very simply, agree to disagree. listen to and try to understand the other person's position and if you can't reach an accord, agree to disagree and learn to accept one another for who you are.
with respect to aquas, they're emotional voids. as a water sign, you will need emotional reassurance or some signs of passion/intensity but sorry, it ain't gone happen...at least not to your satisfaction.
where he may not display his emotions in a way that is "normal," he will let you know in other ways that he's committed to and cares for you.
you also have to recognize that he's not a leo. he's not some over the top romantic but he can be your best friend.
unfortunately, we as women want friendship but we want the guy in the romance novel too. unless his chart has significant water/fire placements, their will be lots of deep friendship but non-traditional romance and this can be hard to accept. you'll feel as if he's withholding, that he just doesn't feel the same way you do...wrong.
learn to curb your desire to change the way he expresses himself. he's not you. you can't bully or manipulate him. he's just as fixed, just as stubborn, just as unrelenting and unchangeable as you.
if you want him to bend, you have to look inwardly and figure out where you're lacking and what you're doing that results in his not giving you what you desire because if he loves you, he WILL give you what you want...on his terms and when you least expect it.
lastly, when pushed, an aqua will claim to change, but go right back in place when your back is turned. when pushed too far/too hard/too much, they simply leave.
and i disagree with krys. i don't think that aquas "need space." they're pretty predictable. yes, they have their random spurts of "OH I'M AN AIR SIGN SO I NEED TO BE FREE!," but after their momentary spazz, you will find them exactly where you expected them to be. they're FIXED-air...which is why they're weird as shit.
if he needs "space," it's probably because you're demanding that he change in some way. you're trying to capture "air" and he is stubbornly resisting your need to do so.
he doesn't exactly want to roam free, he just needs the illusion that he is/can. in other words, trust him...if he's trustworthy that is. the more you trust him, the less insecure you will be. the less insecure/needy you are, the more attractive you will be to him and the more he will give you what you want.
so just relax! stop questioning, stop wondering, stop trying to force him to be more expressive. sure, when you "push his buttons," he will show you his frustration but trust me, you don't want him to. i'm sure it makes you feel as if he cares but, that's not how to get to his true emotions. it is how to make him leave though.
when pushed, aquas will seemingly change but mischievously move back into place (fixed-air). when pushed too hard, too far, too often, they'll simply leave.
if you're in a cycle where you go "bipolar" on him, you NEED to change this cycle asap. are you on your period? well then, during that time of the month, you need take some space. you do NOT want your arguments to enter a pattern. you do NOT want to continuously question if he loves/cares for you. you do NOT want to continually demand that he emote more or make definitive plans regarding your relationship.
why? he will inevitably get sick of this cycle, he will get sick of the emotional displays and your desire to RIP his feelings out of him and he will leave.
if he needs "space," it's probably because you're demanding that he change in some way. you're trying to capture "air" and he is stubbornly resisting your need to do so.
he doesn't exactly want to roam free, he just needs the illusion that he is/can. in other words, trust him...if he's trustworthy that is. the more you trust him, the less insecure you will be. the less insecure/needy you are, the more attractive you will be to him and the more he will give you what you want.
so just relax! stop questioning, stop wondering, stop trying to force him to be more expressive. sure, when you "push his buttons," he will show you his frustration but trust me, you don't want him to. i'm sure it makes you feel as if he cares but, that's not how to get to his true emotions. it is how to make him leave though.
when pushed, aquas will seemingly change but mischievously move back into place (fixed-air). when pushed too hard, too far, too often, they'll simply leave.
if you're in a cycle where you go "bipolar" on him, you NEED to change this cycle asap. are you on your period? well then, during that time of the month, you need take some space. you do NOT want your arguments to enter a pattern. you do NOT want to continuously question if he loves/cares for you. you do NOT want to continually demand that he emote more or make definitive plans regarding your relationship.
why? he will inevitably get sick of this cycle, he will get sick of the emotional displays and your desire to RIP his feelings out of him and he will leave.
do you watch television?
Posted by caligula
and i disagree with krys. i don't think that aquas "need space." they're pretty predictable. yes, they have their random spurts of "OH I'M AN AIR SIGN SO I NEED TO BE FREE!," but after their momentary spazz, you will find them exactly where you expected them to be. they're FIXED-air...which is why they're weird as shit.
if he needs "space," it's probably because you're demanding that he change in some way. you're trying to capture "air" and he is stubbornly resisting your need to do so.
blockquote>
Do you think its space they want or freedom? Im trying to attune myself to airsigns to get some insight ie if I see the world through airsign for a short time I will understand where they are coming from.
One aqua I know sits all day daydreaming. But he follows people around all day and does whatever they require..but he has no idea of other peoples needs unless they tell him and if its something practical he helps but if its a token gesture such as making a phone call to ask 'how are you' he just gives a blank look..he cant relate to that. He does the same routine physically because hes not putting much thought into it. Very unconfrontational and passive. Always been with a partner and always will. He contacts his daughter daily to talk about the weather via text.
My 2nd aqua has the most amazing hair style and maintains it as a self image. She is in conflict with others frequently including long term family and talks badly about them without caring if they can hear her. Then she says I am a bad person. Gossiping gets her in a lot of trouble. She is a spinster.
My 3rd aqua is someone who has been married for 35 years. She is private and does projects. If someone disagrees with her she can become hysterical and raging. Her philosophy is live and let live. Be happy and dont care about what others think. Dont think so much she says to me (capricorn). She doesnt go out much and is generally laid back and potters around doing her own thing, a variety of projects around the house. She likes birthday cards with beautiful words expressing love..she sends them too
My 4th aqua is someone who wants the world to be a better place and has given up on the idea. He has been married 35 years and also says do what makes you happy. He is hardcore in the workplace but at home he is a mouse and even thrives on people using him as a 'slave'. He is a deep thinker and has lengthy dis
My 4th aqua is someone who wants the world to be a better place and has given up on the idea. He has been married 35 years and also says do what makes you happy. He is hardcore in the workplace but at home he is a mouse and even thrives on people using him as a 'slave'. He is a deep thinker and has lengthy discussions. He likes birthday cards with beautiful words expressing love..he sends them too
Basically 1 3 and 4 all have someone they are with constantly.. all day and night since all 4 are retired people.
This is why I question this need for space. These 3 people obviously feel there is enough space as they hang out with the other person all day and night...The people give them freedom and do not ask them to change...they let them be themselves..so what is this space exactly?
Basically 1 3 and 4 all have someone they are with constantly.. all day and night since all 4 are retired people.
This is why I question this need for space. These 3 people obviously feel there is enough space as they hang out with the other person all day and night...The people give them freedom and do not ask them to change...they let them be themselves..so what is this space exactly?
I think the aqua sees being able to care for yourself as an important skill in life and important for well being. So if you look as if you cant manage aone they will see this as a weakness or a frailty that BECAUSE they love you they want to help you overcome. If they see a man on crutches they will try to help the man strive to not need the crutches rather than encourage him to rely on them. They wont let themselves become your crutch because then you are a burden rather than a comanion and equal. I tink this is where they are coming from Im still studying it myself
Posted by michellemabelle
Do you think its space they want or freedom? Im trying to attune myself to airsigns to get some insight ie if I see the world through airsign for a short time I will understand where they are coming from.
neither and both. they're kind of misnomers.
imo, they want the "illusion" of space/freedom rather than actually having it. an aqua isn't going to seek space/freedom for no reason. it's not as if they breakaway from people/situations for the hell of it. if a rule/control makes sense, they will abide just like the rest of us. in relationships, they will "stay" as long as it makes sense, benefits them, leads to growth, etc...
on the other hand, where clear controls exist that they feel threatens their space/freedom, they will eventually attempt to breakout of these controls and to the loved one, when they finally do decide to "be free," it will feel abrupt, erratic, non-nonsensical. why? because they had previously been so predictable and steadfast. all of sudden, you can't predict their movements/actions and the natural reaction is to control/limit them more.
with respect to your situation, you need to work on your insecurities and determine what it is that you "REALLY" need from him. what are you trying to change in him? what do you believe you need/want from him that he's not currently providing?
depending on your answer, the problem or issue that needs to be fixed could be you...not him.
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