Can you ever go back?

Just curious....

What are your thoughts on ex-partners trying again? Do yous think it could work? I was with a guy for four years and it seemed like forever. We were never in any doubt we were going to get married and have babies and all that. Actually if we'd stayed together I would probably be engaged and pregnant right now (yea i know a bit young but, as Id tell my doubting friends, if you're really happy and after 4 years are sure what you want, why wait?)

Anyway I ended up breaking up with him like 15 months ago, BUT I still cant get him out of my system. After the break-up I did think maybe I was too young, and maybe this was better as what if we had got married etc, realised we were too young and wondered if the grass was greener etc etc.....So okay Ive dribbled enough....do yous think another go after a long break could work? Esp. when you kind of always thought youd get back together and still miss eachother every day? Or is it best to think the chance is gone and let the proverbial sleeping dogs lie.......?? I mean we were inseparable and happy for four years, it just seems like a waste.

I think yeah why not if you were always happy when you were together for the 4 years. Did you just break up because you felt you were too young or was there some other reason behind the break-up? Do you still keep in contact with him since? I don't see why you shouldn't give it a go. There's no law saying that you can't be re-united with an old flame. Sure didn't Liz Taylor and Richard Burton marry eachother a few times after acrimonious divorces! If him going through your mind is causing you any kind of upset then perhaps you should resolve it in some way, whether that means talking it out with him or making a firmer decision to move on.

It may work, it may not work... however in my experiences, going back didn't. Sure, the old chemestry was still there, but so were the old wounds... and some unhealed.

However, on the up-side, I have a friend who broke up with her long term boyfriend.. I think they met when she was 16, they dated until she was 21. She broke up with him for about year because she wanted her freedom, but they also got back together. 3 Years ago they were married and they had a daughter.

So.. it may work, it may not. Like MD says, I don't see anything wrong with trying to reconsile if you feel that this is what you're ready for.

I don't see why it wouldn't and if anything is a test of the relationship becoming stronger knowing you can work out something that went to the point of a break up.And your both a bit older now and still turned out to be looking towards each other for another go,it's possibly a very good thing when you really think about it on a deeper level.

Thanks guys! You guys alllllll rock! Hahaha.

Yeah well we got together when I was 17 and split just before my 21st so we were pretty young. I think theres something about growing up with someone like that as if it makes a really strong bond or something. Well I just thought after this long, we'd be over eachother but maybe we just needed to try life alone for a while, and I guess if it doesn't go away we'll end up back together.

But then my gorgeous aquarius boy pops into my head and Im all confused again! Its like I want them both for totally different reasons! Ohh stupid Librans with their stupid indecisiveness!!

Well if you want some fun then I'd say your aqua guy's a good bet. What star sign in your former boyfriend if I may ask?

Yeah the Aqua guy is always fun. He called me last nite to tell me he was eating some nice hotdogs, hes so sweet though I thought when I moved away I would hear like nothing from him, but instead he has kept in touch every few days for over a month now! Awww.

Um my ex is a Sagittarius. But quite a shy one. Not shy to me but to alot of other ppl he is, so not really extroverted like astrology makes them out to be sometimes.

Is he a November Sag? Yeah I see what you mean about Sag's not being that extroverted although the ones that I know are quite physical and/or sporty and also can express themselves very bluntly without meaning to cause any offence

Well I didnt really get the chance to get over him and I really didnt wanna break up with him but I was forced in a way.

To add detail: We were bad into drugs then (I know drugs are BAD) and I went to see my best mate (an aqua btw) for a chat and she was like I cant not tell you this babe, last night I saw (my ex) and (my best friend) making out. They asked me to go find someone at the niteclub and apparently she was all over him when I left. He was wrecked on e's that night worst I ever saw him..so he wouldnt have known what was going on. When I found out I confronted them both told her seeya later, told him we were over and turned off my phone.

SOOO see I know he wouldn't have done it when straight and I knew he really had no idea it happened, but at the same time I was mad that he let himself get into a state where he could do something like that and not even know.

Then for months he was like this big mess, and eventually we started seeing other people but we never really stopped sleeping together either. It seemed normal cos we were together so long. I KNOW I broke all the break-up rules and now Im paying for it. We still talk every week or so and I just dont know how to get over him, or if I really want to at all.......sighhhhhh

Libra chicky:
DO he still use drugs?

He swore he wouldn't ever again if I would give it another chance and he went off them for months but since then hes even worse than before. He's hanging out with a BAD group, lost thousands and has basically just totally fallen off track so Im a bit stressed that its cos of me now too.

And I left town to try and get over everything but I feel like I abandoned him sometimes. He was this great guy and now hes a mess. Like last week I spoke to him and asked what he'd been up to he was like ohh not much smoking rock..etc.

What I meant was after the night it happened he stopped taking any drugs instantly he saw them as the reason we'd broken up which is pretty true, and was showing me that I meant more to him than anything. And he is the kind of guy that keeps to his word.

BUT after months, when he saw we weren't getting back together he started again worse than ever and I cant judge him cause I did the same for a ages.

I know its not my fault hes into it again now, and one of the big reasons I havent gone back to him is that I worry that he's changed too much, and hes not the guy I had anymore.

I just posted cause Im worried its been 15 months and Im still not over it, I just didnt think it was normal for it to take so long. Even when I meet a guy I like I wont ever commit because deep down I cant imagine being serious with anyone else...like Im not scared or anything I just dont want to move on. And THAT is my problem.

I left to help him too in a way. Its not exactly good for us, living in a small place and seeing eachother every day.

I did try to help him when I was there. He would come stay with me on weekends and he wouldn't touch drugs but then his mates would get to him. I know its up to him to help himself now but Im in this limbo at a point where I need to either get over it somehow or try again because its dragged on way too long and I want to get on with life and I dont know which to do.

But thanks for all your advice you's all make sense, I love other peoples opinons theyre so unbiased and straightforward.