Confused by an Aquarius (again) Please give input

IDK..something seems kind of off. Aside from all the other red flags, the one that stands out the most and concerns me the most is the fact he feels a "game" is being played in terms of sex. Most aquas I know are more than willing to wait sexually with someone if they're really into them...they actually probably prefer it, but that's just the aquas I've come across.

However, I think it's different when a woman gets a man all "hot and bothered," only to leave and say she has to go. Maybe the first time it's acceptable, but after a few times I think that is playing unfair. Do you think he is the type of guy to TALK about how much he wants a relationship blah blah blah, but it's only a tactic to get into a girl's pants. Your intuition can usually sense if this is the case.

these are all possibilities that need validation. one thing is for sure...at least with me..i tend to be oblivious on the comments i make till confronted..

for instance

my gem bf was talking about surfing at lunch and how he wanted to go, and im like cool we talked in depth about it. My day before we hung out was :restless and bored. I even cut my hair due to boredom.

so 1 second after he said something i said "im bored"

then i get upset he just walked out while i was asking him something

a few hours later,

he said "im sorry im boring you"

i said "WAIT what> no your not!"

he told me thats what i said

anyways, i realized shit...i can so see how that would've came across as!

so now...after many experiences of these type of situations ...i am learning to censor what comes out of my mouth, how i deliever it, and TIMING!

if i said "that is cool...i feel bored and woke up restless, that would be cool"

rather than just saying "im bored


how does this tie in with your guy?

as an aqua (not sure for everyone) i sometimes find myself stating points but am missing connections that would help others get my train of thought...

jealousy:
he probably really wanted to say is "this girl checked me out so she probably finds me either interesting and charming or what not. but is that really the case (seeing how aquas need to see every angle..get so convoluted..and back on track again) let me test my ideas out. So i would like to know what you think of me...its just interesting to see different perspectives "

vs. what he said and did.

best way : ask him and shed ego barriers be vulnerable and be real. ask him...this is how i felt is this the case? if not what did you mean?

As for all the rest: same advice ask....tell him you dont get it. what does he mean?


i know that he is definitely playing not mind games but has these ideas in his head..observations and is testing them out. to see which is right and wrong..

i feel she is playing games..playing by the book: why?

"but you know what im too weak to admit that i would like her to stay...but perhaps if i just say i want to go sleep and she says "YES" then i not only know she likes me for real, but i also see she is being real with her emotions with me. then i also know if she isnt playing by the book...playing by the book would be: being logical, social etiquette: its 4 am logically its best to just give space and do as told and call it a night"( all could be su

rule of thumb for aquas: you just never know, ask and you will have, 🙂 gl i know my advice probably made no sense...hope it helped a little bit!

I agree. Something is def. off.

Sounds like this guy was putting on a show for either your friends OR his. Sounds like he was purposely trying to make it known to others in public that you 2 were NOT exclusive and/or that he isn't serious with you.

Him not being into PDA is 1 thing & doesn't necessarily mean that he's embarrassed to be seen showing affection to you when in public, BUT the mere fact that he was calling you out on not giving enough affection just days before, only to make you feel bad or like he isn't "into it" as much conveinantly around the time his friends/your friends are around, speaks volumes!

He may be right that you're holding back. Expect for others to pick up on it whenever you have a wall up. BUT, a woman choosing not to give up the goods too early has NOTHING to do with going by the book. Her not giving it up doesn't reflect on any dating books she may have read. Wtf, it reflects on her level of self-esteem, self-worth & how in tune she is with the friendship/relationship. So he needs to understand that like yesterday (RIGHT NOW)!

I don't think you should be dating around if you haven't fully tackled your inner issues with fear, insecurity, rejection, etc. The other person almost ALWAYS picks up on this & easily misunderstands things or gets you all wrong, so then you're left to always have to explain yourself and/or give more than you're really ready to give. Sounds like you're doing all of these things for HIM & not b/c you really want to & that's NOT a good thing. Tackle your issues with vulnerability, intimacy & insecurity so that when you DO give things like affection and/or extra time, it'll seem natural & not rehearsed or like something you're only doing just to please someone else. At NO time should you ever forget who you are, what you want & your standards just b/c someone else slightly has a problem with it.

It's simple. You 2 may want the same things but you both go about getting those things DIFFERENTLY. Your pace in relationships is different than his. His expectations are different than yours. Doesn't mean that you 2 shouldn't date, BUT before things go further you guys need to really have that "talk" so that these minor differences won't come b/w you

Like I said, something is off. Continue to take things slow. Maybe he's playing the same game he THINKS you're playing. Maybe he's testing your or pretending to not be that into you b/c that's his OWN way of protecting himself

I agree with CandyApples...He needs to understand RIGHT NOW that sex is NOT a game to you. You base whether or not you have sex with someone on how you feel about them and/or how comfortable you are with them; NOT that you use sex as a tool for manipulation.

And honey, if you're sending him mixed messages/signals or ANYTHING that suggests you're teasing him or playing games with him (sub-consciously) atleast make sure you're really not b/c half the time these guys are just douche bags & think they're "entitled" to having your goods, BUT hey, sometimes they really are concerned & feel that someone is playing games.

So make sure you're not sending off the wrong signals b/c if you are, you can't blaim him for expecting the things you've hinted that you wanted to give him. Still doesn't mean he's entitled (people CAN change their mind) but still, put yourself in his shoes & make sure your not falsely sending out the wrong signals.

I really don't know what to tell you as far as whether he's really into you or not. It seems like he is behind closed doors, BUT in public he changes & that's NOT a good thing. He could be the type that's saying all these sweet nothings in your ear behind closed doors but yet when you're in public or around people HE cares about, the TRUE TEST comes out.

When someone cares about you, they'll act like it especially when their best buddies are around. When someone believes they've found a "good thing" they like to make it known immediately that he/she's "mine"/mark their territory. They want their friends opinions on their new date, they want their friends to like their new date...there's NO way his friends can really give him the heads up or not on you if they DON'T even think you 2 are serious. They'll observe you differently if they know you're "just a friend" vs. a potential girlfriend.

I'm not encouraging you to keep your wall up (that never helps) BUT, since you're seeing some red flags, THAT is a good enough reason to continually take things slow. Don't ignore your intuition. NEVER do that. You know what happens when women do that only to regret it later

Thanks everyone for your input. One thing I'd like to add is that he wasn't tryng to make his friends think he wasn't with me. He was sitting with me the whole time and we were flirting with eachother. And I think his friends know there's something between us (what that is I don't know) . I was offended when he said the "I don't like kissing in public" but he did say this after a few long kisses. When he said it again in the cab when it was just us two I started to think maybe he really just don't like kissing in public since he doesn't even know this cab driver! So i don't know....

Your twisting yourself to be a certain way when realistically you don't want to see a man your dating anymore than a few days at a time, maybe it's making the both of you feel uncomfortable because your "trying" to be someone that your not, like calling more and seeing him more when really you probably would rather not do that....

IMO it all feels forced and maybe he's just responding to that in a negative way by distancing himself, if you can't be vulnerable then why should he. The effort your making says a lot about how much you care about the relationship but maybe and it's just a maybe it's not giving him a positive feeling so he's chosen to stop himself from feeling comfortable with you, his attempts at not bonding and remaining aloof/detached towards you.

Mixed signals can make a man or anyone for that matter feel like on some level games are being played, in your case I don't think it's intentional, your young and you want your freedom and you want to feel wanted and be with someone at the same time, that's natural, maybe your just not ready yet to be with a guy on a more stable one on one gf/bf basis, something you have to figure out b/c if your going to be with a man at some point you have to be willing to be vulnerable and show him you are equally as interested in him as he is you.

"I don't think you should be dating around if you haven't fully tackled your inner issues with fear, insecurity, rejection, etc. The other person almost ALWAYS picks up on this & easily misunderstands things or gets you all wrong, so then you're left to always have to explain yourself and/or give more than you're really ready to give."

Very true

krysrenee7 gave some really great insight...