Confused by Aquairus - should I just walk away?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Gemini1984 on Thursday, January 13, 2011 and has 7 replies.
I'm not sure how you can read any of that as a blow-off. It sounds like he was wishing you a good trip to Texas.
Do you want to see him everyday? Is that something you want? If not, you two do not sound compatible.
You also texted him kind of late while he was at that party - it may have sounded like YOU were booty-calling HIM. He didn't respond, I think, because he wants a relationship with you and not just sex.
Sounds like he likes you and you do seem a bit detached. You even said you didn't like him that much.
Don't play with the guy's heart, if you want something with him, get it or move on.
Do you want to see him everyday? Is that something you want? If not, you two do not sound compatible.
You also texted him kind of late while he was at that party - it may have sounded like YOU were booty-calling HIM. He didn't respond, I think, because he wants a relationship with you and not just sex.
Sounds like he likes you and you do seem a bit detached. You even said you didn't like him that much.
Don't play with the guy's heart, if you want something with him, get it or move on.
You said it best. He's noticing how standoffish & detached you are. And honey, regardless of how justifiable your reasons are for being that way, that's not something anyone wants to hear or see, especially if they're dating you. It's 1 thing to want to take things slow; I think everyone can appreciate someone who doesn't seem to be desperate for something and/or someone who doesn't rush into everything. BUT once someone has earned something (whether it's time, your trust, or whatever) they expect to reap the benefits of their hardwork. For instance, if someone has earned your trust, they expect for you to go about things in a way that you would persay with someone you actually trust. No one wants to earn something only to be denied of it.
Secondly, his pace for going about dating is a little faster than yours. I don't think that's any reason to throw in the towel. This guy just may not be as cautious as you are; that's not something to knock him for. Now if he was coming on so strong to the point where you started questioning his intentions OR getting suspicious at someone liking you so hard/so fast, that'd be a different story.
But I think this guy is doing everything he's supposed to be doing. He likes you. He's digging you. And when Aquas see something they like, they of course want to communicate (and they want the communication to increase the more & more their feelings for you/admiration increases. They want to spend more time with you. They start requiring that you give up more of yourself more & more simply b/c that's what happens when people start liking someone more & more.
Now the sex thing is a diff story. That topic is more of a "gray area." If you're not ready to give it up, don't. How much he likes you shouldn't dictate whether or not you give up the goods. How YOU feel about them should moreso be the basis for which you make that kind of call/decision.
Who knows, he might be in it for the sex, but then again I don't think so. Usually when a guy just wants sex, they could care less about increasing the communication and/or time spent together. They'll entertain you more if they get the sense that doing so is the ONLY way to get the benefits. But usually, a guy who only wants sex will NOT put in any extra work/effort if he doesn't have to. I think this guy is giving you & asking for so much b/c he really likes you & this is the only way he knows how to show you his admiration for you.
Secondly, his pace for going about dating is a little faster than yours. I don't think that's any reason to throw in the towel. This guy just may not be as cautious as you are; that's not something to knock him for. Now if he was coming on so strong to the point where you started questioning his intentions OR getting suspicious at someone liking you so hard/so fast, that'd be a different story.
But I think this guy is doing everything he's supposed to be doing. He likes you. He's digging you. And when Aquas see something they like, they of course want to communicate (and they want the communication to increase the more & more their feelings for you/admiration increases. They want to spend more time with you. They start requiring that you give up more of yourself more & more simply b/c that's what happens when people start liking someone more & more.
Now the sex thing is a diff story. That topic is more of a "gray area." If you're not ready to give it up, don't. How much he likes you shouldn't dictate whether or not you give up the goods. How YOU feel about them should moreso be the basis for which you make that kind of call/decision.
Who knows, he might be in it for the sex, but then again I don't think so. Usually when a guy just wants sex, they could care less about increasing the communication and/or time spent together. They'll entertain you more if they get the sense that doing so is the ONLY way to get the benefits. But usually, a guy who only wants sex will NOT put in any extra work/effort if he doesn't have to. I think this guy is giving you & asking for so much b/c he really likes you & this is the only way he knows how to show you his admiration for you.
If you're not up to speed with his pace of things, that's fine. Talk to him about it. And try to phrase it in a way that gives him the impression that YES, you're still interested just like he is, BUT that you show interest in more slower steps. It's all about delivery and/or how you word things.
I don't think any of what this guy has done so far would be bothering you as much if you weren't so cautious. I think you like him, BUT I think he likes you just a tad bit MORE than you like him. And hey, that happens. Rarely ever do 2 people like eachother at the same level & at the same time. There's usually always 1 person whose more willing to open up/give freely more quicker than the other person.
Once you start liking this guy more & more & once you start feeling more comfortable to let your guard down, you'll stop picking apart every little thing he does. You'll stop analyzing the small things. You'll be so on cloud 9 that you'll actuall appreciate his outward admiration for you moreso than questioning it.
I don't think any of what this guy has done so far would be bothering you as much if you weren't so cautious. I think you like him, BUT I think he likes you just a tad bit MORE than you like him. And hey, that happens. Rarely ever do 2 people like eachother at the same level & at the same time. There's usually always 1 person whose more willing to open up/give freely more quicker than the other person.
Once you start liking this guy more & more & once you start feeling more comfortable to let your guard down, you'll stop picking apart every little thing he does. You'll stop analyzing the small things. You'll be so on cloud 9 that you'll actuall appreciate his outward admiration for you moreso than questioning it.
One thing is for sure! When a guy is just in it for the booty, they DON'T like waiting very long to get the benefits. Remember, for every girl that makes them "wait," there's another 5 girls that won't make them wait or work as hard to get the exact same benefit (sex).
If you continue to keep a gate around your cooch (lol) & yet he STILL keeps asking for you to show him the side of you that deals with your personality, character, time, energy, conversation, etc. that's a GOOD thing. A man that only wants sex won't be interested in truly getting to know you nor will he find it worth it or necessary to open up to you on an emotional level.
Guys who just want sex might test you for a little bit. There's no secret that some guys will cuddle with you, sweet talk/game you, & tell you everything you want to hear just for the sake of getting women to give up the goods. There's no secret that some guys will play the "role" & go about things as if they were actually feeling you on a relationship level when in reality they just want sex. Yes, guys are like this sometimes. BUT still, you can usually always tell a person's intentions over time. If over time, you still haven't given him any sex but yet he STILL seems to be interseted in exploring YOU (vs. just your body) than boom, you'll know that he's in it for all the RIGHT reasons.
Some people don't mind opening up sexually when they really like someone. Doesn't always mean that just b/c someone is willing to sleep with you or mess around with you early on that they're only about that 1 thing. With some people, when they're attracted to you as a whole, they'll naturally want to explore EVERY avenue with you--the physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual AND the sexual.
You'll just have to wait & see.
If you continue to keep a gate around your cooch (lol) & yet he STILL keeps asking for you to show him the side of you that deals with your personality, character, time, energy, conversation, etc. that's a GOOD thing. A man that only wants sex won't be interested in truly getting to know you nor will he find it worth it or necessary to open up to you on an emotional level.
Guys who just want sex might test you for a little bit. There's no secret that some guys will cuddle with you, sweet talk/game you, & tell you everything you want to hear just for the sake of getting women to give up the goods. There's no secret that some guys will play the "role" & go about things as if they were actually feeling you on a relationship level when in reality they just want sex. Yes, guys are like this sometimes. BUT still, you can usually always tell a person's intentions over time. If over time, you still haven't given him any sex but yet he STILL seems to be interseted in exploring YOU (vs. just your body) than boom, you'll know that he's in it for all the RIGHT reasons.
Some people don't mind opening up sexually when they really like someone. Doesn't always mean that just b/c someone is willing to sleep with you or mess around with you early on that they're only about that 1 thing. With some people, when they're attracted to you as a whole, they'll naturally want to explore EVERY avenue with you--the physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual AND the sexual.
You'll just have to wait & see.
Girl appreciate he is moving quick and wants to be with you. After chasing an aqua for how many months and gettin my head fucked with... I think you should go with it and appreciate him being so open and showing how much he wants you.
Id say stick with him, start seeing him everyday etc and once you are together, THEN pull back a bit. But for now, id dive in head first lol and explore the situation while he is giving you the chance.
Havent you read all the women on here posting about aqua men and how detached they are and why they wont call, or come to see them etc etc
Id say stick with him, start seeing him everyday etc and once you are together, THEN pull back a bit. But for now, id dive in head first lol and explore the situation while he is giving you the chance.
Havent you read all the women on here posting about aqua men and how detached they are and why they wont call, or come to see them etc etc
I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but what do you think he was referring to when he said you were pushing him away? I'm just not seeing it. Although, I know you told him that you don't like to be smothered, but what happened to him liking the idea of taking it slow?
However, I do think you took a wrong turn when you decided to 'have some fun' before you left his place. Thats sending mixed messages. I think its perfectly fine to take things slow and whatnot, but don't go changing your rules based on what someone else is doing.
However, I do think you took a wrong turn when you decided to 'have some fun' before you left his place. Thats sending mixed messages. I think its perfectly fine to take things slow and whatnot, but don't go changing your rules based on what someone else is doing.
He is just used to dating women who move very fast. He's just not used to having to be patient. He should respect that fact that you want to take things slow. Dont react to him just keep the relationship at a pace that is comfortable for you. The relationship is not just about him and what he wants and needs, its about you too.
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