cryin cryin cryin

Last night Aqua male called and called and called, I did not answer the phone, not once, I did cry each time it rang.............


Will he stop? IDK, I guess we shall see.............



Breaks my heart to treat someone like this, even if they have done it to me. I just dont like to do others like i dont wanna be done. I hate feeling like i "lowered" to his level.


It rained here in Texas, all night long, and all day today, didnt help my broken heart one bit............


Okay, tell me i did the right thing........a little support? And what about this eclipse, what does that mean in all of this? and how is it gonna effect my future? A little insight folks? From those who have a clue more than myself, which is most of you here?

Well, a relationship is breaking up - it's almost a normal female reaction to cry over it, don't you think?

Have any gfs that you can hang out with, take a vacation, etc...?

'I just dont like to do others like i dont wanna be done.''

On the other hand, you could treat people the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you want...

http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1350968

Some info on eclipses and what they mean, typically they signify beginnings and endings.

Thetis, I read that, thanks, Dont know if my timing is good or not according to the article, and only time will tell that story.


ZC~I like the way you put that and reversed it!


Ash~ LK is right, and thanks for your words of support, I really do appreciate every thing said.

LK~ RIGHT! I am a bit jumpy and looking over my shoulder when i go to and from. This too will pass, been here before, he gave me the reasons to feel that away, this too i need to remember, cause i thought i really was passed that feeling of fear w/him. ANother lesson learned, just when ya think........


Interesting enough, I have a guy I have talked to for several months, and we are suppose to get together, his birthday is the 20, fourth day after the eclipse.....that is kinda scary and yesterday he said to me "he cared a lil" well, hmmmmmmmmmmmm, very scary with the place i currently sit in my personal life. Maybe I will reconsider that meeting w/him.

My career is at a stall, but, i did just come into money after having NO source of income for over a month and it came to me on friday and i had it in had after midnight last night, interesting enough.........

Thanks for the support w/this aqua, this whole thing is in the IDK category of my life. I know I love him, I know i do not want to hurt him. What i don't know is, what he really wants......or feels.......time and peace, that is what is needed right now. He will figure it out, he is grown. I hate that I did lower myself and can not take that back, but the lesson is in the learning, this i know too. I do believe, better for it in the end for us both. It just hurts so dang much and so deep within me.

My g/f is aware of what i am going through and she does not believe this is the "end" of "us" but she has feared for me for sometime where he and his actions are concerned, she stated she believes this is good for me and good for him. I hope so, if good comes from it, it will have been worth every tear!
It rained here again last night, this has made it more difficult,but, I do love the rain, so i opened my windows and let the sound pour into my head, slept good, but sad.

Thanks Ash!

Update~ Last night was the last night a friend of mine whom use to work w/aqua was working, he is security and we always walk at night and talk for years, so i promised i would go spend a couple hours w/him on his last night doing exactly that, so, low and behold, i get a call from the property they had, notice had, both worked at which he was gonna go to turn his stuff in at that property to his boss, well, i answered thinking there must have been a change in his plan and it was my friend calling to inform me of that, NOPE, trick, it was aqua, needless to say, i gave him the time of day, he stated he knew i was avoiding his phone calls and he. He persisted to want to come over again, all night this went on, i was out til 3a.m. w/friend on his last night working.

7:45 a.m. this morning, i in my sleep answer the dang phone, its aqua, he is coming over,again, i decline, we finally talked more on the phone, he is still not wanting to accept it, he persisted, but did not come over. More explanation given in conversation, as he attempts to get me to allow him to come, i decline persistently with reasons he has already heard and read in text which he wants to deny getting, says he didn't open them and read them, i call B!S!

I did tell him, in a voice mail btw that i would be treated no less than i treat others, and for him not to call after his persistence and not say he was not coming after so long of coming anyway, well, we would end up not speaking at all if this continued. SO, in doing me, i am true to me, and warning has been giving even after actions and he knows why i no longer wish to see him in "that" manner, as i also told him, he was either going to accept it, and quite forcing his way to what he wanted at my expense, that would only end up in permanent disconnection between us.

I AM SO PROUD OF ME!!!!!!

good for ya!

Okay, wed night, midnight straight up, he calls, again, in my sleep, answered the phone, sheeeze, spoke to him thursday morning, had a good chat, nice friendly talk. Let it go.

This morning, 4:53 a.m. OMG, i said "really, really at five a.m. you are calling me" MAN!, this morning we chatted a bit, if hearing me makes him feel better, i know i feel better knowing he is okay, good, etc....then well, okay. Dang him, "you want me to come over and F*CK u? me answers "uh, no!" he ask "why?" OMG, i answer, "u r not mine" and "I told you in and since May, i cant handle it" his reply, "ok".

Do i need to say more?