Decided to Stop Friendship

I don't really know if I did the right thing, but I have (well had, I guess) a friend that some "more than friends" stuff went on with and one night she decided she couldn't handle it. I've been pining for her for two months since then and I've noticed that the behavior that showed she likes me as more than friends has started to dwindle. Now, she's a Cancer, so I don't know if she's just hid it or if her hiding in her shell has made her emotions weird, because she has been hiding whenever she can for quite a while. (sometimes I wonder if she's hiding because of her feelings towards me)

Anyway, last night she sat with me and listened while I spilled my guts and cried about some stuff that's going on in my life and when we were done I told her I wanted a hug. Usually she hugs me long and close, this time it was like she wanted to know how soon it would be over. So, when I got home I sent her a text saying I couldn't be friends anymore because I felt like I was just torturing both of us as my feelings hadn't subsided.

Part of me feels like she needs to see that she can't just start up relationships and end them whenever she wants and then have those people go along with her desires to stay friends. Then, another part of me says we had SO much in common that I should have been a better friend and just stuck around.

She only responded to the text to tell me that she heard it. I told her I thought she'd say something and she said she hadn't figured out what to say. It's been half a day since then and nothing.

Anyone have any wise words or experiences that would shed new light on the situation?

Maybe she is mulling it over?

I would guess that she still hasn't found words. I just don't know if I made the right decision. :/

Posted by MuchLovetoGive
I would guess that she still hasn't found words. I just don't know if I made the right decision. :/

It is never the wrong decision if you told her how you truly felt. I hope the outcome is what you expect but regardless, you stay true to your feelings and who you are. Everything else will fall into place.

I guess I didn't really tell her how I truly felt, because I felt like she was a soulmate, I love her. I would have learned to deal with her "crabby" ways instead of being impatient or irritated if she would have been willing to explore her feelings.

I just told her I cared, that she was one of the most important people in my life, and that I would defend her to the ends of the earth. But, here I am, I already said I was moving on.

Make that _protect_ her to the ends of the earth.

I screwed the brains out of one of my friends, wow that was awkward, but we are just friends, it took awhile but we are back to being like normal. We both didnt make it weird towards each other. If your looking for more from her take your time and let her process what the hell just happened.

It's been two months since the last time we kissed and she's starting to pull away more and more. It took her 10 days to process the first encounter. She's either acting this way because she doesn't want to deal with what she's feeling or she's been able to turn it off. I, unfortunately, can't. I don't interact that way with people casually. I think the main thing that is difficult is she never really allowed me to understand how she felt about the whole thing, so I wasn't able to sort through it.

Good stuff, Metoo.

We see each other three times a week as part of a sports team, so it's hard to not have any contact, but I think I'm going to give a tiny break this next week, where I leave immediately following practice and don't hang around to chat and such.

I was sitting texting my friends after last night's practice and she finally came up, once everyone left, and talked to me. When she walked up, she looked angry-ish. She said, "You really weren't going to talk to me anymore?" I said, "Yeah." We ended up talking for about an hour. The first part was me trying to explain my confusion. The second part was her opening up about stuff that's going on in her life.

I still feel like I'm caving to her desires by deciding to be just friends. She felt something too, but is too afraid of the complications of everything. At this point, I've written a long letter explaining myself once more and I was going to message it to her and start my break.