Did he think I was being ridiculous?

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by IAmMystified on Thursday, February 27, 2014 and has 27 replies.
So I was talking to my immediate supervisor yesterday who I also believe is an aqua. I told him because I was bored at work I decided to pursue prof development and I wanted to know what he thought because it was important to me to do this but I didn't want to create a lag in performance.
All he said was talk to hr. I asked y did it matter when it's up to him if He could deal with me being gone occasionally. He said it was because our positions state we have to be there 40 hrs a week. I was surprised at his blank statement. He should care more about me being gone 6 hours a week since he's my boss. HR doesn't get involved on that level so I was shocked at his response.
As we talked I said I pursued prof dev because he never challenged me enough, I see him overwhelmed all the time and he never asks me for help. So I'm stuck with doing rudimentary things when I can do so much more. He asked what did I want to do
I said it's not about what I want specifically it's about me not understanding why he doesn't ask for my help on big projects when that's what I was hired for but all he has me doing is answering phones and filing. I even asked if he didn't think I could handle it.
He said no I think you could. So I asked him again so why didn't you ever ask me. He said because he's ways being pulled into 20 diff directions. So I said yes but you take the time to explain things to the designer but you can't find the time to involve someone who could make things easier for you
So he said ok first thing tomorrow let's talk about this tomorrow. So I'm happy I may get higher projects but in a weird way I felt stupid for wanting to be challenged
Do aquas judge people a lot? Cause he had this weird look when I was talking to him.
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I read it and it does sound flaky. You're all over the place with what YOU need. Why would he accommodate you to pursue other things? Funny you asked him that. He gave you the professional answer. Go discuss it with hr. that's why he's a boss, he sticks by the rules. He's not a councillor or a friend to guide you, he's your supervisor at work.
Then you bring up you were hired as a designer but are answering phones. Are we talking graphic design? If so, I understand the business very well. He might feel you aren't good enough or fast enough or whatever so he keeps giving you other responsibilities just so he doesn't have to get rid of you. If you have an issue with the work you are doing versus the work you were hired to do, then I would address it with him on a professional level, not whine about it.
If its graphic design, you have to prove yourself, take on jobs and do them without asking him too many questions. If he has to keep babysitting you, then he might as well do it himself. Time is pressing, customer is waiting.
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I think you misinterpreted the content above. Let me be concise and clear.
We work in local politics and goverment related work and in my department its just my boss in I. Which is less staff you see in other departments. WAY LESS. But we manage to do well and better than other departments becuase we are the most skilled in the organization and the more work focused whereas almost everyone else and he'd agree they are only thinking about themselves and don't even work as hard as we do.
Anyway because of such the other departments always bug us for help with their own projects and don't even think about they are taking away time from us being away from ours. I have learned how to get people to understand to approach me in a more considerate way or schedule time with me versus my boss hasn't learned to say no or be upfront with people. Problem too is he's very disorganized, flaky too so when he gets pulled in many directions, he's never doing anything in a way that meets deadlines so by the end of the day he has spent the whole day h elping every other department other than the one he works in.
Other problem is, I was hired to share the workload with him, because I was skilled. But yet somehow all I've been doing was answering phones and filing (administrative stuff) at the point where people think I'm his secretary. I'm not his secretary and my title isn't even that either.
That's why I wanted to get his opinion yesterday because we do have the type of working relationship where I can be open and frank with him. That's why I told him its at the point where I'm bored all the time because I'm underutilized that I decided to join a professional development program that may require me to be gone several hours a week and I wanted to know if he was okay with that. But he kept referring to HR being okay with that. HR has no impact on what I do here. I could use my vacation time for the time i'd gone for the several weeks I was in this program and it typically wouldn't be a problem, that's why I said i was shocked he kept referring to HR and was less concerned about the impact as to me being gone would have on the department running smoothly.
As we talked more about it then he finally started to say, when you get more info as to the logistics let me know then I can give you more of an opinion. Later in the conversation I mentioned part of the reason why I was bored all the time was because I wasn't being utilized in what I was hired for.
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I also told him that I also was concerned because he is always overwhelmed all the time and always talking about how the people he pulls in from other departments take forever, and I have the same skillsets as them. I even asked him if he didn't think I could handle it and he said he knows I could handle anything I give him but he never really gave me a solid reason why he never asked me other than being too busy but yet he would pull in the slow, stupid people from other departments.
He's always telling people that what he appreciates about me is that I always knew what to do and I worked hard but if that's the case, utilize me.
Anyway my point was that even though we had a frank conversation, he had a weird expression on his face like "why are we even talking about this?" kind of look.
I don't know I felt embarrassed and almost regret being honest about things.
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You fit into peoples' stereotypes of us Aquarians overthinkin shit. Take it easy. Who gives a fuck about his ridiculous facial expression? You should be happy with yourself takin initiative, cuz very few people do that.
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Posted by tsar322
You fit into peoples' stereotypes of us Aquarians overthinkin shit. Take it easy. Who gives a fuck about his ridiculous facial expression? You should be happy with yourself takin initiative, cuz very few people do that.


Because I'm a sensitive individual and so I don't want to be thought of one of those people who makes things a big deal. All I was looking for is to know why I'm not being utilized especiallyw hen I know he's overwhelmed and to utilize me more so that
A. he gets the help he needs
B. I actually learn something for a change
C. Our department doesn't suffer in the long term
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Hey iammystified, thank you for clearing up.
He sounds like your typical Aquarius boss who's like this mad scientist totally engrossed in his work and can't relate to what you conveyed. He was probably surprised you are thinking of other options especially if he values having you around. He might have taken it personally and that is why he kept redirecting you to HR.
If you want to keep working with him, I would try to solve the real problem which sounds like he's not using you to full capacity. Focus on streamlining that. I don't think he appreciates you taking time away for other pursuits.
I hope I make sense smile
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@aquapiscescup.
No problem. I think my confusion is as a scorpio, I want to know why people make the choices they do. I care about my organization. He and I work well because we both are there to accomplish something great and not fulfill our own egos like the other people in the company. He's always making comments about how the other departments half ass things.
But yet him being overwhelmed, he pulls them into our projects but doesn't talk to me about it or doesn't utilize me. The big problem is communicating. He's not communicating his needs, he's not communicating what he envisions, he's not communicating what's important to him.
So what I said to him had impact cause when I came in. The first thing he did was put a bunch of work on my desk. Which is great but he missed the point:
1. He didn't even explain to me what all this stuff was, I can figure it out but the big problem i conveyed to him is he needs to take the time to explain what things are and the status of things, so i don't waste time having to figure things out. It's not efficient.
2. What he gave me was still "busy work". Busy work is what causes me boredom. Which I can handle all this extra work but, I'm still not learning anything.
3. This busy work isn't what's overwhelming him. I wanted to do something that actually will make a dent in his work load, that has real impact on what our organization does.
I guess I have to talk to him about it again.
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Hahaha!
Your response is so scorpio
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@NYAA what do you mean?
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I thought it would've been the right thing to do. If this unnecessary workload is only out of charity then I suppose it doesn't concern you so you could focus on what your actual work is. Which by the way you're still being vague as hell about. What is your job title? If you're hired as an assistant that can entail many things unless it's a 2IC which seems weird for a small department because it sounds like a specialised department.
Also I don't know why you don't think HR was the right call. Human Resources exist to handle situations like this.
Some Aquas, at least the ones I work with bitch for the sake of bitching, they're not actually overwhelmed apart from wanting to be lazy and complain about it. If he's not utilising all his resources then he's just a shit boss.
Also out of curiosity have you posted here as another user before ages ago? It's either that or you share the same problem with another person and again like I said in the other thread: If you don't want to speak up, we're not going to second guess your hidden intention. No matter how good we are at reading between the lines we'd rather take things at face value.
(Generalising I know)
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I don't think there's any vagueness. People always accuse Scorpios of not being open when in fact I'll answer anything asked of me.
To answer your question, the busy work as I call it has to be done but its not important to do right away. Its the type of work that if you don't do eventually it'll add up quickly. My title is program coordinator and he's director. Consider it an informal way of saying i'm like an assistant manager without having any real authority. But because I'm doing most of the answering of phones and filing (becuase there's only 2 of us - although he does answer phones and does filing sometimes) people naturally assume I'm his secretary or his assistant when he will quickly tell people that they are incorrect and says if anything he listens to whatever I say.
But seriously, I do understand the concept of HR and I have worked for Corporate America for years but becuase of the nature of our organization and for the sake of privacy I wont say exactly how the structure works, we don't really have an HR. We are using the facilities of another organization and utilizing their built in account and HR departments for structural reason. Point being, what surprised me is that me being gone should first be Ok'd by him or his boss. But the question is since he mentioned HR, then it must men that if HR is okay with it then he would?
I never really thought that when he complained it was just for show, i really thought that's what he really thought since aren't aquas the type to take everything everyone says at face value but yet they aren't direct? I didn't understand your comment.
When I did speak to him about my work load and being concerned that if we don't do something about this, eventually things are going to fall apart. People are already complaining that the hadn't gotten back to them and I am the one that usually gets the earful. So he might as well let me help him or delegate work that is challenging on a continual basis and all will be well. I won't be bored and he wont be overwhelmed.
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Well have a read here What does the Human Resources Department do? - Going by the descriptions there I'm assuming that's how HR works in your country because that's how it works here. Your boss may have the authority to say I want to hire this person but given your situation it's best talking to HR. All government jobs should adhere to proper guidelines when it comes to employment. If it is your choice to cut down on hours in pursuit of another position and your boss agrees, it is then up to HR to review your paper work.
But for the sake of it I'll assume your HR department is useless.
Also, vagueness is when you want an opinion and personally for me not knowing all the intricate details, It's something I don't really like to do (e.g. almost assuming you are the assistant given the way you described your work environment).
I've learnt a harsh lesson (a few in the past) that workplace relationships should stay just that: professional. If I'm not appreciated for my work or if something I feel is not right I'd document them and bring it up with whoever is in charge without getting my personally feelings involved. So what you're doing here now should be exactly what you do with your Aqua boss. As impersonal as it all sounds there is just no room for personal feelings in the corporate world.
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Posted by aquasnoz
Well have a read here What does the Human Resources Department do? - Going by the descriptions there I'm assuming that's how HR works in your country because that's how it works here. Your boss may have the authority to say I want to hire this person but given your situation it's best talking to HR. All government jobs should adhere to proper guidelines when it comes to employment. If it is your choice to cut down on hours in pursuit of another position and your boss agrees, it is then up to HR to review your paper work.
But for the sake of it I'll assume your HR department is useless.
Also, vagueness is when you want an opinion and personally for me not knowing all the intricate details, It's something I don't really like to do (e.g. almost assuming you are the assistant given the way you described your work environment).
I've learnt a harsh lesson (a few in the past) that workplace relationships should stay just that: professional. If I'm not appreciated for my work or if something I feel is not right I'd document them and bring it up with whoever is in charge without getting my personally feelings involved. So what you're doing here now should be exactly what you do with your Aqua boss. As impersonal as it all sounds there is just no room for personal feelings in the corporate world.



Damn straight.
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Posted by IAmMystified
@NYAA what do you mean?


At him "Not doing what you wanted him to do"
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Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Posted by IAmMystified
@NYAA what do you mean?


At him "Not doing what you wanted him to do"
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@NYAA its not what I wanted him to do, I only stated what any average person would do. When someone asks to take over workload especially the ones that would challenge a highly skilled individual, then you give them projects or incorporate them into projects that are challenging that take up alot of time, you don't give them more "busy" or rudimentary work lol.
@aquanoz its not personal feelings if the people our organization services are constantly calling and yelling at me because he isn't returning their emails and phone calls. If he isn't returning their requests or inquiries then its bad customer service. What I was offering was taking a load off his plate so that things don't get worse and he can actually do things on a timely basis like call people back.
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I was making a point of you taking it personally. Surely it's fine to discuss it online with a bunch of randoms but if it is affecting your capacity to work you need to address it. If it's none of your concern seeing your boss took on the responsibility of those projects then simply tell the people yelling at you that it's not your fault. On the other hand if it is meant to be your job and your boss is preventing you from doing so then address it, plainly "Boss, you are not letting me do my job and I'm frustrated when people from other department is pinning the blame to me". If he doesn't listen, guess what, HR is again a friend.
This is what I don't get, you're asking for our perspectives but it's hard to do so and we're not even sure what you really want apart from perhaps a space to rant. If you need to get the situation out of your system by all means rant away.
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Posted by aquasnoz
I was making a point of you taking it personally. Surely it's fine to discuss it online with a bunch of randoms but if it is affecting your capacity to work you need to address it. If it's none of your concern seeing your boss took on the responsibility of those projects then simply tell the people yelling at you that it's not your fault. On the other hand if it is meant to be your job and your boss is preventing you from doing so then address it, plainly "Boss, you are not letting me do my job and I'm frustrated when people from other department is pinning the blame to me". If he doesn't listen, guess what, HR is again a friend.


I don't think your really getting it. I'm trying to understand why someone would want to overwhelm themselves when you have a highly skilled bored person out of their mind right there willing and wanting to help and not let them. It's a concept I've never understood. The only thing I've ever understood is he's a self acknowledged control freak but my theory is if your a control freak then don't bitch about being overwhelmed.
As far as HR, I'm not the kind of person that likes rocking the boat and its not even the rocking the boat kind of situation.
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Posted by IAmMystified
I also told him that I also was concerned because he is always overwhelmed all the time and always talking about how the people he pulls in from other departments take forever, and I have the same skillsets as them. I even asked him if he didn't think I could handle it and he said he knows I could handle anything I give him but he never really gave me a solid reason why he never asked me other than being too busy but yet he would pull in the slow, stupid people from other departments.
He's always telling people that what he appreciates about me is that I always knew what to do and I worked hard but if that's the case, utilize me.
Anyway my point was that even though we had a frank conversation, he had a weird expression on his face like "why are we even talking about this?" kind of look.
I don't know I felt embarrassed and almost regret being honest about things.


I dunno...sorry that line made me Lol a little. He's so bad. And you notice!!!
He probably feels that you should "get" it and the conversation is what is making him go...what? you know you're skilled. I know you're skilled. So.....yeah?
Maybe he doesn't want the others to feel jealous of you. if he always gave you everything, and burdened it on you, then the others would take notice...even if they are a bit dense, but they'll NOTICE and the jealousy will set in. Therefore, other people will make sure you have a hard time at the office because of their jealousy. *shrug* Who knows?
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I'm not sure what there isn't to understand? People have given you their interpretation of the situation but you keep bringing your personal feelings into this which make it seem like a rant.
He made you an offer to talk to HR when you said it affected your work thus giving you the chance to sort this out but you are stuck on wanting to understand it on some absurd mental level which seems to be eating at you because you don't understand his intentions on a personal level.
I still say he's a shit boss after everything you said because not sharing the workload after hiring you as a person to do that is unprofessional. I'm not sure how much more you can look into this.
If I say "maybe you need to earn his trust", "maybe you need to prove your worth", wouldn't that just entice you to say you are a hard worker so why wouldn't he trust you? You keep setting yourself up for answers like this where you constantly defend yourself. WHICH makes it seem like it's all personal.
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Posted by aquasnoz
I'm not sure what there isn't to understand? People have given you their interpretation of the situation but you keep bringing your personal feelings into this which make it seem like a rant.
He made you an offer to talk to HR when you said it affected your work thus giving you the chance to sort this out but you are stuck on wanting to understand it on some absurd mental level which seems to be eating at you because you don't understand his intentions on a personal level.
I still say he's a shit boss after everything you said because not sharing the workload after hiring you as a person to do that is unprofessional. I'm not sure how much more you can look into this.
If I say "maybe you need to earn his trust", "maybe you need to prove your worth", wouldn't that just entice you to say you are a hard worker so why wouldn't he trust you? You keep setting yourself up for answers like this where you constantly defend yourself. WHICH makes it seem like it's all personal.


it might just be Office politics you know.
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Which is what I STILL can't understand lol. So we've got - government - politics - designers - program coordinator - director - and that's as much insight I have on the job, and the team consists or 2 people most likely running the logistics of the said 'other' departments.
Sorry I'm not taking a stab at anyone but that's still vague as hell to me. Because I would've thought you'd be 'assistant director' or something similar to warrant any sort of involvement on a higher level such as a 'director' would.
But given it's a 2-man team, I would've thought the Aqua is the one with authority here and your purpose is to co-ordinate for him and to me it almost seems like it entails delegating with other departments.
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Posted by lisabethur8

I dunno...sorry that line made me Lol a little. He's so bad. And you notice!!!
He probably feels that you should "get" it and the conversation is what is making him go...what? you know you're skilled. I know you're skilled. So.....yeah?


Haha you are right. My boss is like that. He naturally assumes I get it which is why he doesn't say much about anything when he is giving me projects. But he doesn't give me projects. He just assumes I know what his projects are. If that makes sense.
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Posted by aquasnoz
Which is what I STILL can't understand lol. So we've got - government - politics - designers - program coordinator - director - and that's as much insight I have on the job, and the team consists or 2 people most likely running the logistics of the said 'other' departments.
Sorry I'm not taking a stab at anyone but that's still vague as hell to me. Because I would've thought you'd be 'assistant director' or something similar to warrant any sort of involvement on a higher level such as a 'director' would.
But given it's a 2-man team, I would've thought the Aqua is the one with authority here and your purpose is to co-ordinate for him and to me it almost seems like it entails delegating with other departments.


Ok lol I'll break it down ALOTTTTTTTTT more. He is a director for OUR department. I am a program coordinator for OUR department. I am not a secretary or administrative assistant or anything of that nature. Even though there is a heirarchy in a department of 2 people, 75% of the time he treats it as a team type of situation (almost an equal level kinda thing). There are other departments in the organization that bug both of us for help because they are all stupid people. Seriously! But on the rare occasion he asks for help instead of asking me he pulls people from other departments (i.e. the designer I mentioned). When like I said they are all slow and dumbasses (which he vents about all the time).
So it makes me wonder like I said if he has a skilled individual such as myself that can help him and do the same things that he pulls the other departments into why not utilize me, I'm much faster.
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Posted by IAmMystified
Posted by lisabethur8

I dunno...sorry that line made me Lol a little. He's so bad. And you notice!!!
He probably feels that you should "get" it and the conversation is what is making him go...what? you know you're skilled. I know you're skilled. So.....yeah?


Haha you are right. My boss is like that. He naturally assumes I get it which is why he doesn't say much about anything when he is giving me projects. But he doesn't give me projects. He just assumes I know what his projects are. If that makes sense.


he probably feels you are so skilled, that you are a mind reader too. *smh*
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What? That broke down nothing apart from what I've already confirmed. Jesus christ okay let me be clear
1. What does your company do
2. What does your department do
3. what are the other departments
4. Just what is your job
Because from the sounds of things this company is full of incompetent people or you are reaching far out from your pay grade. Honestly, a program co-ordinator might be a prestigious title but its functions serves to handle the mundane tasks for the director.
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This is my take on it so far disregarding specific details.
- Your department specialises in in programs, whether it be a campaign, rules and policies or project management for other departments or your special subset of departments
- He being the program director has the responsibility to oversee all projects given to him, that is his job. Perhaps this specialised department serves to oversee the implementation of said projects that are designated to them and where possible can help out with other departments (hence why people ask for help)
- You are the program co-ordinator where by you handle much of the same tasks but only when the director leaves certain projects to oversee, perhaps it's ironing certain details or the 'busy work' you suggested.
So this is where I can see potential problems arising. You believe your job to serve the same functions as his. And to him he believes it's not your job nor your position to tell him what he wants or doesn't want to do with these projects.
When you said you wanted more, he gave you the work without explanation because he's leaving you in charge of how to run the said project because he believed you can handle all aspects of his work.
Which is why this all sounds like a clusterfuck when you have no clear designation from the way you are describing it which then in turn to the original question might be we he does think you are being ridiculous because it might in fact be that you are reaching far out of your original job description.
Hence the clash and hence why I'm asking you to clarify if you actually know what your job is and just exactly what it is that you do. From one extreme to the other it could be you over-reaching vs your boss being an asshole and not letting you perform.
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