Do Aquas hide or just need space at times?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by anew on Saturday, December 1, 2007 and has 48 replies.
Opionion. My aqua and I had a slight problem Thanksgiving eve but worked it out and he stayed until Saturday morning. He and I were both too tired to see each other Sat or Sun and spoke the last time Sunday night. We have been in this relationship 8 months and speak every day many times and get along so well. Yes love even though hasnt said it in words since june. We see each other every weekend and some weekdays. It was magical. Recently I have been insecure about him working in another city 5 hours away for 5 days a week. He had reassred me but it caused him to say I didnt trust him. I havnt heard from him since Sunday night and he wouldnt return my texts or emails. I spoke briefly to him yesterday and he was going to call so we could talk. He wont say if we are over or if he has moved on just a text saying the full court press gets tiring sometimes. He lives in another town 45 min away and has many obligations and we still have managed to always talk and see eah other. We are both in our 40s so respect is important. Is he just taking time to rest and be a guy? Why wont he just say I need some time? Or its over or something? I have an idea he just needs space but why torture me and not just say it? What is it about you Aquas or just men that you withdraw so? What should I do? This is new to our relationship. We have been so magical together until the last 3 weeks where there was just a little less magic. Can you guys help?
You are so very insighful. I think you are so correct with your view. You really know your stuff about not only about Aquas but about people and relationships in general. Yes I do also feel you are a professional. Where do I send the check? lol. Thank you so much and keep writing your incredible views for all of us to learn by.
You are right too. No texting or emailing or calling. Its hard sometimes but I will do it. I know Aquas dont like to be barraged and sometimes need time. It does worry me that he cant say "I just need time" I guess that is obvious now. Thanks for keeping my head from exploding.
i agree with spatchel...i am now in a long distane relationship with my aqua (very long distance, across country!) and we have been together for 3 1/2 yrs, and 6 months of that have been long distance. you have to be very secure in the relationship, or else it will not work. and it is hard sometimes, REALLY HARD...but you have to keep your cool and stay focused on being positive. and you have to continue to live your life and not get too caught up in his ways, such as his withdrawal. let him worry about that, and you just keep your focus. but, you really have to keep a positive outlook and believe in what you two have together.
give him his space for now for a couple of days, or however long he needs. don't call, text, e-mail...just try to take your mind off of him for a little while. he will come back around when he's ready.
give him his space for now for a couple of days, or however long he needs. don't call, text, e-mail...just try to take your mind off of him for a little while. he will come back around when he's ready.
"How well you both get over to the other side will also prove the strength of your love and determine the direction of your future together."
-so very true UC! it is an obstacle and it does prove the strength of your love for each other and also your own strength. and it does determine the outcome of your future together...it's a make it or break it situation.
-so very true UC! it is an obstacle and it does prove the strength of your love for each other and also your own strength. and it does determine the outcome of your future together...it's a make it or break it situation.
You are right..MAKE OR BREAK...I hope he gets his head clear about us by my 12/17 b-day and Xmas.
"Is he just taking time to rest and be a guy?" ------ huh? NO. why are you feeling the need to justify his behaviour? because a situation changes, so should his behaviour? If he was good at communicating before...why not now?
"Why wont he just say I need some time?" ------ that is a very GOOD question. Why won't he? if the relationship is healthy, so must the communication be, right? You apparently are coming from a healthy place as far as being open and communicative with your feelings - he must not be in this same place - just a guess on my part.
"Or its over or something?" ------ I certainly know how important and strong a woman's intuition is - something is up or off in your world with this man and you know it. You or anyone here can justify his actions but when it comes down to the wire, it is YOU who must go within and trust your feelings and honour them as well.
"I have an idea he just needs space but why torture me and not just say it?" ---- you feel tortured and you want to stay in this relationship? is this healthy for you? Ya know, honestly - there are wonderful relationships where one will NEVER feel tortured, ignored, stepped on, abused, unloved etc....they do exist. To keep from feeling this way, Anew - you need to share with him how important it is to you that he let you know what is going on. He cannot read your mind. Let him know and if he makes the changes to honor your needs great! this is a positive direction for growth.
"What is it about you Aquas or just men that you withdraw so?" ----- many reasons men or women withdraw - some cannot handle their emotions, some are no longer interested in the other person, some need time to think (when this is the issue, a healthy man WILL let his partner know his intentions).
"What should I do?" ----- depends on what type of relationship you want to be in and what feels good to you. Personally, I feel if you have a question or something is confusing to you, you have every right to bring it up and have it discussed so that you have understanding. If you are unable to do this in a relationship - you will feel tortured quite a bit. Set the ground work for what is important to you - lay it out there, if he truly cares about you and the relationship the both of you are experiencing, he will listen, he will share his feelings, he will communicate with you.
You must ask yourself what you will settle for and what you are worth.
"Why wont he just say I need some time?" ------ that is a very GOOD question. Why won't he? if the relationship is healthy, so must the communication be, right? You apparently are coming from a healthy place as far as being open and communicative with your feelings - he must not be in this same place - just a guess on my part.
"Or its over or something?" ------ I certainly know how important and strong a woman's intuition is - something is up or off in your world with this man and you know it. You or anyone here can justify his actions but when it comes down to the wire, it is YOU who must go within and trust your feelings and honour them as well.
"I have an idea he just needs space but why torture me and not just say it?" ---- you feel tortured and you want to stay in this relationship? is this healthy for you? Ya know, honestly - there are wonderful relationships where one will NEVER feel tortured, ignored, stepped on, abused, unloved etc....they do exist. To keep from feeling this way, Anew - you need to share with him how important it is to you that he let you know what is going on. He cannot read your mind. Let him know and if he makes the changes to honor your needs great! this is a positive direction for growth.
"What is it about you Aquas or just men that you withdraw so?" ----- many reasons men or women withdraw - some cannot handle their emotions, some are no longer interested in the other person, some need time to think (when this is the issue, a healthy man WILL let his partner know his intentions).
"What should I do?" ----- depends on what type of relationship you want to be in and what feels good to you. Personally, I feel if you have a question or something is confusing to you, you have every right to bring it up and have it discussed so that you have understanding. If you are unable to do this in a relationship - you will feel tortured quite a bit. Set the ground work for what is important to you - lay it out there, if he truly cares about you and the relationship the both of you are experiencing, he will listen, he will share his feelings, he will communicate with you.
You must ask yourself what you will settle for and what you are worth.
Bottom line, every relationship whether it be between man and woman, man and man or woman and woman must have a healthy foundation for it to be successful. We enter into realtionships to grow - we learn to ask for what we need and then see if this will happen - sometimes it will, sometimes it will not. You then must decide if this is something you can live with or not. One must never sacrifice what is truly important to them just to be in a relationship.
The circumstances for you both have changed - this does not mean the communication changes. Anew, just be true to yourself.
The circumstances for you both have changed - this does not mean the communication changes. Anew, just be true to yourself.
Yes I am sure he is feeling weak and vulnerable and doesnt know which way to go. He lives 45 minutes south of me and the new job he is building is 4 hours south of where he lives and where his children live. And he may also be building hotel in another town south of there. He has been divorced 2 years. He has worked hard to see me and his children each weekend. I have looked at all the answers and today I need to let him be and see what happens for a couple of weeks. You are right it is a good thing. When I cant handle it anymore...I wont and find the path that best suites me. But if it hadnt been for all of yur insights I wouldnt have been this calm. By the way I have been so very good to him and very sweet and he knows it was a good thing. He is a tall gorgeous 43 year old man that woman take a second look at. He would have no problem replacing me with a body but three weeks ago he said he didnt want to start over with someone new and lose someone he cared about, me. It is time for me to be the woman he knows I am and let him breath. Thanks all of you for helping.
Thanks hmmm maybe if it doesnt work with Aqua i should sweek that Cancer man. Are they as well balanced as you?
just say NO to cancer men 
seriously, keep your aqua guy...it will be all worth it in the end!
seriously, keep your aqua guy...it will be all worth it in the end!
I know they are workaholics!!!!! But very tender when need be.
I am a true Saggitarean, Horses, dogs, sports nature, a polyana, the glass is always half full. Energetic and excited about everything. I will try anything and men are no competition but buddies. Thats why guys enjoy my company but its just one guy that I care about now. ut there has been a cancer man waiting in the wings. Successful and handsome and if I need a shoulder or more and my Aqua and I end it he is a real thought.
Awwwww...thanks LK and SP for your very kind words.
*Experience is and has been my bestest teacher
*Experience is and has been my bestest teacher
As typical aqua I do hate myself sometimes.I don't even know why I need so much space & those little time away.All I know is that I need it & it helps me keep balancing lots of things in me & in relationship.Aqua needs lots of understanding what the heck so needy.This would create less problem only if we know how to express feeling & emotion properly but gosh NO! most of people find us somewhat too detach...I really do hate myself.
My newest aqua "situation"
Hadn't seen him in 6 months - i let him do his thing, i did mine....still sent the occasional quirky emails we always send to eachother....He finally invited me to his place last week....was GREAT. Caught up, flirted a bit...shared our intense hugs that make me want to jump him (but i don't want to push him).
Anyhow - so I saw him yesterday at a store christmas shopping....he was chatting to a girl who worked there, i assumed they were friends because he's a regular customer....so i walk over to them and give him a friendly punch in the shoulder....so he's all "hey!"...then he gets down on the floor and starts looking at suitcases and leaves me and this girl standing there staring at eachother! ha ha.....then he asks her if she's going on her break and if she wanted to grab some food...she was like ya i can go now and went away to get her stuff i suppose....then he stood up and started chatting to me....but it was the most awkward thing ever....
I felt a huge case of the cold shoulder when that girl was standing there...i'm sure she did too. So i just made small talk and then went on my way to leave him to his shopping...
I admit - i was a little ticked off (and jealous but never let that get ot me)....Did he ask a girl out right infront of me? I think it was just a casual friendly thing considering they weren't even facing eachother when they were talking before i came up...yes i'm being insecure!!!!!!
Someone slap me and tell me to snap out of it! Thats all i ask
Let me ask this - I've "thought" my aqua guy would know how i feel about him by now....early in the year i suggested we go on a casual date just to see how it goes...he never objected to it but i never said anything about it after that (chickened out).....so we never did.........so now its the end of the year...does he think i'm not interested anymore? Or was i way too vague about the whole thing? And seriously aquas? Would you ask someone out infront of your "friend" who liked you?
Slap me and shed some light please?!?
Hadn't seen him in 6 months - i let him do his thing, i did mine....still sent the occasional quirky emails we always send to eachother....He finally invited me to his place last week....was GREAT. Caught up, flirted a bit...shared our intense hugs that make me want to jump him (but i don't want to push him).
Anyhow - so I saw him yesterday at a store christmas shopping....he was chatting to a girl who worked there, i assumed they were friends because he's a regular customer....so i walk over to them and give him a friendly punch in the shoulder....so he's all "hey!"...then he gets down on the floor and starts looking at suitcases and leaves me and this girl standing there staring at eachother! ha ha.....then he asks her if she's going on her break and if she wanted to grab some food...she was like ya i can go now and went away to get her stuff i suppose....then he stood up and started chatting to me....but it was the most awkward thing ever....
I felt a huge case of the cold shoulder when that girl was standing there...i'm sure she did too. So i just made small talk and then went on my way to leave him to his shopping...
I admit - i was a little ticked off (and jealous but never let that get ot me)....Did he ask a girl out right infront of me? I think it was just a casual friendly thing considering they weren't even facing eachother when they were talking before i came up...yes i'm being insecure!!!!!!
Someone slap me and tell me to snap out of it! Thats all i ask
Let me ask this - I've "thought" my aqua guy would know how i feel about him by now....early in the year i suggested we go on a casual date just to see how it goes...he never objected to it but i never said anything about it after that (chickened out).....so we never did.........so now its the end of the year...does he think i'm not interested anymore? Or was i way too vague about the whole thing? And seriously aquas? Would you ask someone out infront of your "friend" who liked you?
Slap me and shed some light please?!?
I only do that to guys I dont have any romantic interest for...to try and let them see that. I dont know what his deal is. Its just rude that he didnt introduce you two to each other and just ducked behind suitcases.
I would ignore him for now.
I would ignore him for now.
Yup, pretty sure its worthy of ignoring as well.....I will do my best, although a hard time of year to do that!
I'll drop off his christmas gift soon....but other than that no contact from me.
I'll drop off his christmas gift soon....but other than that no contact from me.
Thats what im thinking too 
Can't return it, too bad - but i'm not wrapping it all pretty now 
And i'll just leave it on his doorstep.
sigh. so rude. that wasn't even an aquarius moment...it was a jerk moment.
And i'll just leave it on his doorstep.
sigh. so rude. that wasn't even an aquarius moment...it was a jerk moment.
Could it no possibly have been his friend? He obviously knew her....i don't want to jump to conclusions. At the same time i don't own him.
WHY are you buying him a present. I thought you two were exclusive??
Sell it on ebay
lmao! He just might.
I miss my bling
I miss my bling
Ha HA you guys are awesome.
We are just friends - but he must know i have feelings for him....i thought so anyways.
Always do the christmas gift thing though - nothing major, but something.
Believe me i've had boyfriends and dated along the way....no worries there. Just expected more consideration from him....Geez
We are just friends - but he must know i have feelings for him....i thought so anyways.
Always do the christmas gift thing though - nothing major, but something.
Believe me i've had boyfriends and dated along the way....no worries there. Just expected more consideration from him....Geez
"but he must know i have feelings for him"
piscesdork - yes he does know that you have feelings for him and that is exactly why he did what he did by asking the other girl out in front of you. Actions speak much louder than words - pay attention!
LadyM also said that she would have done the same thing to a guy that she was not interested in ....honestly, I would do the same. He is just not that into you. I agree with the others.....I would not give him a gift - you will be wasting your time. Is there someone else that may appreciate your kindness more? find that person and share your joy with them.
*if he truly were a FRIEND - he would have introduced you two and he would have included you - he would have been more thoughtful - he did not act like a true friend.
"We are just friends." really? hmmmmm.....okies.
piscesdork - yes he does know that you have feelings for him and that is exactly why he did what he did by asking the other girl out in front of you. Actions speak much louder than words - pay attention!
LadyM also said that she would have done the same thing to a guy that she was not interested in ....honestly, I would do the same. He is just not that into you. I agree with the others.....I would not give him a gift - you will be wasting your time. Is there someone else that may appreciate your kindness more? find that person and share your joy with them.
*if he truly were a FRIEND - he would have introduced you two and he would have included you - he would have been more thoughtful - he did not act like a true friend.
"We are just friends." really? hmmmmm.....okies.
This is the #1 question on the Aqua board...!
You guys are right - he's always been great to me - never had any major problems aside from the typical aqua stuff. This time he definitely wins the jerk award.
Its just funny how his friends would tell me he had a big thing for me.... but never did anything about it...I guess i missed the boat on that one, but still didn't deserve that. I guess between the both of us not going for it....5 years of being "Friends" was too long.
Its just funny how his friends would tell me he had a big thing for me.... but never did anything about it...I guess i missed the boat on that one, but still didn't deserve that. I guess between the both of us not going for it....5 years of being "Friends" was too long.
yes, 5 years of being "friends" is way too long. you are now strictly in the friends category. if he was intereted in more than that, he would have made a move.
Sad girl right here
Its a long time to get past.
I did call him earlier to tell him what he did was not cool - and that i wasn't sure if he valued our friendship if he couldn't even tell me he was seeing someone...I told him to call me....not sure when that will be or even if he will.
Its a long time to get past.
I did call him earlier to tell him what he did was not cool - and that i wasn't sure if he valued our friendship if he couldn't even tell me he was seeing someone...I told him to call me....not sure when that will be or even if he will.
Its just rude that he didnt introduce you two to each other and just ducked behind suitcases.
I agreed with Lady M. Now instead of hating myself I hate the guy.
I agreed with Lady M. Now instead of hating myself I hate the guy.
"that wasn't even an aquarius moment...it was a jerk moment."
couldn't agree more
couldn't agree more
Well I wasnt trying to speak for the guy; who knows what he was thinking. BUT I've definitely been where he is and done the same thing to a FRIEND who I wanted to get the picture that we are JUST friends.
Ive also done the not introducing thing...It was just social awkwardness at the time. AND again I wanted him to go away...
okay, im not helping her situation so i'll stop now...
Ive also done the not introducing thing...It was just social awkwardness at the time. AND again I wanted him to go away...
okay, im not helping her situation so i'll stop now...
ITs ok guys, i know you're just speaking the truth. I'm cool with that...
It is sad...but we always move forward.
The funny thing is - i know i'll hear from him. And i know sometimes i make no sense but thats partially because i've never had so many mixed messages from a guy ever!
I guess this Aqua guy is missing one trait - blunt honesty - I've questioned him on things like if i should be getting the "hint" etc before a few times....but he's always telling me i'm being silly and he's just busy focusing on his career and that i should know that he cares about me and to stop reading into things. All i was looking for was some blunt honesty! And i guess i wasn't getting it.
Don't worry, i wasn't giving him a gift! ha ha...i decided that already when that happened. I'm giving it to my Virgo!
LK - thats a little harsh...i think you have the wrong idea. Yes i have feelings for him BUT he's always liked my lightheartedness and NOT being moonstruck by him because so many girl have been in the past and we used to laugh about it together. And no i didn't see him for 6 months...but we talked....and he used to tell me A LOT and i told him tons - I guess he was leaving some things out.
Oh well...sad it may be...i'm still curious of what he will say to me next....if not for awhile. We always seem to have our run ins.
It is sad...but we always move forward.
The funny thing is - i know i'll hear from him. And i know sometimes i make no sense
but thats partially because i've never had so many mixed messages from a guy ever!I guess this Aqua guy is missing one trait - blunt honesty - I've questioned him on things like if i should be getting the "hint" etc before a few times....but he's always telling me i'm being silly and he's just busy focusing on his career and that i should know that he cares about me and to stop reading into things. All i was looking for was some blunt honesty! And i guess i wasn't getting it.
Don't worry, i wasn't giving him a gift! ha ha...i decided that already when that happened. I'm giving it to my Virgo!
LK - thats a little harsh...i think you have the wrong idea. Yes i have feelings for him BUT he's always liked my lightheartedness and NOT being moonstruck by him because so many girl have been in the past and we used to laugh about it together. And no i didn't see him for 6 months...but we talked....and he used to tell me A LOT and i told him tons - I guess he was leaving some things out.
Oh well...sad it may be...i'm still curious of what he will say to me next....if not for awhile. We always seem to have our run ins.
Agreed - thanks guys.
I've done the not introducing thing myself!
I'm awake LK Just needed a slap in the face like i said before!
I'll keep you posted if he does talk to me. For now i will work on the moving on deal.
I've done the not introducing thing myself!
I'm awake LK
Just needed a slap in the face like i said before!I'll keep you posted if he does talk to me. For now i will work on the moving on deal.
Just dont put all your eggs in one basket, ya know.
I would give him the opportunity to explain himself....if he ever decides to respond to your voicemail.
Hears a little motto I live by:
Never let a guy know your into him more than he is into you....
(saves you alot of trouble.)
I would give him the opportunity to explain himself....if he ever decides to respond to your voicemail.
Hears a little motto I live by:
Never let a guy know your into him more than he is into you....
(saves you alot of trouble.)
I admire LK and her honesty...this is one woman who knows herself and will not compromise her beliefs or herself.
Good on you LK!
Good on you LK!
"I admire LK and her honesty...this is one woman who knows herself and will not compromise her beliefs or herself.
Good on you LK!"
There is a fine line between honesty, and just plain being rude and inconsiderate.......
"if you give him that present you are a dumbass."
That's class.
How about try: "In my opinion, giving him a gift is a big mistake on your part, and you will likely regret it in the end."
I think your point is lost the minute you pass judgement on people who's stories you don't fully know, or understand.
However, I suppose some people do get off on this type of behaviour....
Good on you LK!"
There is a fine line between honesty, and just plain being rude and inconsiderate.......
"if you give him that present you are a dumbass."
That's class.
How about try: "In my opinion, giving him a gift is a big mistake on your part, and you will likely regret it in the end."
I think your point is lost the minute you pass judgement on people who's stories you don't fully know, or understand.
However, I suppose some people do get off on this type of behaviour....
LK you make me laugh...seriously.
And make note - I am NOT giving him a christmas gift! I'm adding to my dads gifts!
Lady M - I know - I would always give him the opportunity to explain himself - because everyone is different and he might have meant nothing of the whole situation.
As it stands now - i haven't heard from him, which is typical aqua dude but I'm not expecting to hear from him either and i will not make contact with him whatsoever. If he wants to explain he knows where to find me! I do admit i read some old emails today he sent me at work before - they made me smile and shake my head wondering "where did that guy go?"
Sadge - I appreciate the support - but thats just how LK communicates - i know how its meant for me to take.
Was a hard day to get through at work but a true pisces like me can distract myself with some daydreaming
And make note - I am NOT giving him a christmas gift! I'm adding to my dads gifts!
Lady M - I know - I would always give him the opportunity to explain himself - because everyone is different and he might have meant nothing of the whole situation.
As it stands now - i haven't heard from him, which is typical aqua dude but I'm not expecting to hear from him either and i will not make contact with him whatsoever. If he wants to explain he knows where to find me! I do admit i read some old emails today he sent me at work before - they made me smile and shake my head wondering "where did that guy go?"
Sadge - I appreciate the support - but thats just how LK communicates - i know how its meant for me to take.
Was a hard day to get through at work but a true pisces like me can distract myself with some daydreaming
I agree with you LK - none of us are here to baby eachother. LK gives her cold hard facts and advice - which i find very effective. I employ this type of advice on people as well.
If someone is my friend - i'll obviously be more tactful. Other are here to empathize with eachother - i think both methods are great....and i appreciate both sides.
Today i realized i had no right to act the way i did to him. The man can do what he wants! So thats just how it is. I'm taking my own space for now - because i let him get to me and thats my problem. And seriously, i don't even care about him not introducing me to this "girl"....I don't even think it was rude anymore! I do it all the time, because i just simply forget to introduce people!
I figure - if our friendship is strong enough - eventually we will be friends again. Just not now.
I do disagree with LK saying that ppl on here have little self respect. Everyone deals with things differently - and not knowing eachother personally nobody should be passing judgement like that. I'm sure some ppl do have little self respect - but others do not fall into that category and just let emotions get the best of them.
If someone is my friend - i'll obviously be more tactful. Other are here to empathize with eachother - i think both methods are great....and i appreciate both sides.
Today i realized i had no right to act the way i did to him. The man can do what he wants! So thats just how it is. I'm taking my own space for now - because i let him get to me and thats my problem. And seriously, i don't even care about him not introducing me to this "girl"....I don't even think it was rude anymore! I do it all the time, because i just simply forget to introduce people!
I figure - if our friendship is strong enough - eventually we will be friends again. Just not now.
I do disagree with LK saying that ppl on here have little self respect. Everyone deals with things differently - and not knowing eachother personally nobody should be passing judgement like that. I'm sure some ppl do have little self respect - but others do not fall into that category and just let emotions get the best of them.
"I feel her anger and antagonistic approach is due to her pain from her failed relationship with her Aqua-Ex."
UC...just my opinion but do you not feel that maybe you are being a bit judgemental here? yes, these are your thoughts and you have every right to express them however, do you really KNOW that she is coming from a place of anger? could it be possible that this is how she (LK) personally has chosen to communicate?
UC...just my opinion but do you not feel that maybe you are being a bit judgemental here? yes, these are your thoughts and you have every right to express them however, do you really KNOW that she is coming from a place of anger? could it be possible that this is how she (LK) personally has chosen to communicate?
i don't know if LK had made mistakes with her aqua guy...he just wasn't right for her. she didn't want to be patient and wait for him to give her what she wanted. that's why only certain girls are suited for aqua guys. she wasn't one of them.
so, her cancer probably is better suited for her. cancers aren't for me, but everyone is different.
so, her cancer probably is better suited for her. cancers aren't for me, but everyone is different.
For some reason.....I do not think that LK will view her relationship with Mr. "ex-aqua" as a "failed" one but rather as one that was an opportunity for growth for both her and him. I really do not know forsure.....she will no doubt let us know her thoughts
Every relationship is in our life for a positive reason and that is to allow us to know what we desire and do not desire - we live in a world of contrast. She (we all) took/take a ride, infact if I remember correctly, she took the ride a few times and then realized....this ride doesn't float my boat and got off. This what we need to do if we want to experience growth.
Every relationship is in our life for a positive reason and that is to allow us to know what we desire and do not desire - we live in a world of contrast. She (we all) took/take a ride, infact if I remember correctly, she took the ride a few times and then realized....this ride doesn't float my boat and got off. This what we need to do if we want to experience growth.
"I believe, we have to understand that when someone appears to be struggling through a particular relationship, it could very well be they are experiencing growth and not necessary fools who need to be told they are wasting their time."
I agree with what you have said UC and ALL relationships will be experiencing growth. I cannot agree with your statement - "and not necessary fools who need to be told they are wasting their time." reason being, often times they are - they for some reason cannot "let go" of a relationship that is going nowhere...and they FEEL miserable. A healthy relationship will FEEL GOOD to both people involved. If it hurts and is emotioanlly abusing then said person is "wasting their time" and enegy in a go nowhere situation.
Side note* in Shakespeare's writing....the "fool" was the smartest of them all.
I agree with what you have said UC and ALL relationships will be experiencing growth. I cannot agree with your statement - "and not necessary fools who need to be told they are wasting their time." reason being, often times they are - they for some reason cannot "let go" of a relationship that is going nowhere...and they FEEL miserable. A healthy relationship will FEEL GOOD to both people involved. If it hurts and is emotioanlly abusing then said person is "wasting their time" and enegy in a go nowhere situation.
Side note* in Shakespeare's writing....the "fool" was the smartest of them all.
UPDATE time - so my aqua emailed me - a short one for sure - but just to let me know that we will be talking soon - and that he had no intention of being rude to me. I also apologized for over reacting - i had no right to do that.
I also learned that his job has taken him to another office - not close to me anymore - which explained the disappearance of our lunch dates. AND that girl - he didn't think of introducing her - there was nothing more to it than that....and they're friends because she's always in the store when he goes.
So overall - he gets that i over react sometimes - that damn emotional pisces in me. But i also make the effort to understand his side. We're kind of OK now - but i will wait for him to talk to me, its a busy time of year for all of us. He at least let me know he cared in his funny way.
And thats my story about that. Thats what i like about my Aqua - loyal friend to the end.
I also learned that his job has taken him to another office - not close to me anymore - which explained the disappearance of our lunch dates. AND that girl - he didn't think of introducing her - there was nothing more to it than that....and they're friends because she's always in the store when he goes.
So overall - he gets that i over react sometimes - that damn emotional pisces in me. But i also make the effort to understand his side. We're kind of OK now - but i will wait for him to talk to me, its a busy time of year for all of us. He at least let me know he cared in his funny way.
And thats my story about that. Thats what i like about my Aqua - loyal friend to the end.
Perhaps UC you may have understood my post. I do not recall saying that one will "NEVER feel bad." There is a huge difference between feeling bad (and I am "assuming" you mean something like hurt feelings...something very minor - am I correct here?) and being hurt to the point of low self-esteem or being emotionally abused. It is in these specific situations that I am suggesting one leave the relationship - this is for self presevation.
"I agree healthy relationships should make both people feel good. But I also feel it's important to learn how to work through conflicts and understand that a certain degree of struggle is also healthy and normal in any relationship that is serious and long-term."
Agreed, this however will ONLY work if the foundation of the relationship is a HEALTHY one meaning, it is based on trust, respect, and the love for the other person and loving oneself. If these qualities are absent...the relationship will be full of conflicts. The right relationship is EASY. If you find this hard to believe, then you have not yet experienced it.
"I agree healthy relationships should make both people feel good. But I also feel it's important to learn how to work through conflicts and understand that a certain degree of struggle is also healthy and normal in any relationship that is serious and long-term."
Agreed, this however will ONLY work if the foundation of the relationship is a HEALTHY one meaning, it is based on trust, respect, and the love for the other person and loving oneself. If these qualities are absent...the relationship will be full of conflicts. The right relationship is EASY. If you find this hard to believe, then you have not yet experienced it.
understood - meant to be read as, misunderstood.
"I feel her anger and antagonistic approach is due to her pain from her failed relationship with her Aqua-Ex."
that's quite the presumption UC. i didn't interpret any anger or pain in kitten's replies. perhaps i don't know her as well as you do
excellent posts freebird
that's quite the presumption UC. i didn't interpret any anger or pain in kitten's replies. perhaps i don't know her as well as you do
excellent posts freebird
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