Do you allow

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by lisabethur8 on Tuesday, February 9, 2016 and has 41 replies.
Others to dictate your love life for you?

I am curious as to why SOME people, allow others to tell them what to do in their love life, or in the matters of the heart.

I understand that with earth energy, they need SECURITY, and that makes them feel happy. financial security gives them a sense of strength, having food, home, just the wonderful basic needs we humans need, but sometimes, they need more of course, to feel happy, so they can buy the "quality" things in life. But i see his with fire too... they dont like frugality, while earth does.

what is the astrology of this? That you allow someone to tell you who to love?

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and if a guy give you attention, do you already feel love so instantly?

Confused



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Posted by feby
No, never. I am very defiant in fact. I will consider what people say but I have always done what I wanted.

thank you.

i'm glad you feel that way.

but i do remember you are an 8th houser. Aquarius sun/mars in 8th.
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8th houser, 1st housers, MARS are warriors i notice and they FIGHT.

i wonder if the other fire houses are the same??

5th housers and 9th housers?
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Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??
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i love how the moon moved into pisces this morning...

[URL=http://s1213.photobucket.com/user/Amin555/media/album2/moon-gif--animiert_largejpg.gif.html]http://i1213.photobucket.com/albums/cc461/Amin555/album2/moon-gif--animiert_largejpg.gif[/URL]
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Posted by RumiLove
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??

You mean like arranged matches?
Its part of my culture......but in my house, my say is final regarding issues in this department.

It takes me a long time to fall in love. When I'm in love.. I'm in love, dictated or not Sad

I have 3 planets each in 5th house and 9th house btw 🙌

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i thought you were venus aries?

venus aries, when they see someone they DESIRE, they will go for it...

but then that's the MEN...

i guess for women it's how you flirt, same with 1st house venus.
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but i see what you mean about your culture.

you depend on your family's support and you trust/love them, so you hope that they choose wisely for you.

although in many cases, it's not Always love there. not romantic but an "arrangement" that is fine with them.

it will SUPPORT you throughout life...

and that is a sense of security there...

at least for your family's well being too.
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
If this extends to me and other cousins, twice removed, I second feby.

you mean it's in your family?
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my family is the same way i notice. they dont follow what other people say, in the matters of the heart.
so is my husband's family.
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Unfortunately yes.

I met this Pisces chick at a concert once and my Libra best friend was acting like suck a dick to me about her. It made me feel like he was angry out of jealousy or something. I honestly thought she was cute, on my level of looks which my friend said I could do much better and she's like a 3 out of 10.

My sag step dad also said I could do better, and naturally my Virgo mother loved her and so badly wanted me to hook up with her, but the men changed my opinion.
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I listen to those who are closest to me like my mum and brother I wouldn't date someone who they wouldn't approve of because we're a family and I'd like to keep everything as stress free as possible.

Though if I'm in love with someone and my mum and brother picks on them for something stupid I'll tell them to shut the fuck up and they will listen to me.
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Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I listen to those who are closest to me like my mum and brother I wouldn't date someone who they wouldn't approve of because we're a family and I'd like to keep everything as stress free as possible.

Though if I'm in love with someone and my mum and brother picks on them for something stupid I'll tell them to shut the fuck up and they will listen to me.

wow that sounds like you have libra, or a strong 7th house. on the first sentence.

im a strong 4th house but i dont let people tell me who to love, so it's not about family = 10th/4th issues.

and on the last sentence, once you fall DEEP in love, it's like yeah fuck you, i'll love who i love. lol


Posted by Soul
Unfortunately yes.

I met this Pisces chick at a concert once and my Libra best friend was acting like suck a dick to me about her. It made me feel like he was angry out of jealousy or something. I honestly thought she was cute, on my level of looks which my friend said I could do much better and she's like a 3 out of 10.

My sag step dad also said I could do better, and naturally my Virgo mother loved her and so badly wanted me to hook up with her, but the men changed my opinion.
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oh it sounds like family's approval is more important, Soul.

and other's opinion....do you have 7th house or libra personal placements?
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i say 7th /libra because they like to keep the peace, and make "others" happy.
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oh and i notice that other libras/7th housers get pissed at me for not being so "polite" either.
i've noticed this in real life with my family members too. They want me to be very polite and all that.
i have found this beneficial for social events and gatherings.
or Venusians in general, unless they are very MARS ruled themselves.

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i remember when i was a child and i called this boy who was in love with me, (i really didnt like him that way and i wanted him NOT to like me) but oh well...
so i called him ugly and smelly. it was mean. yes, but i really was trying to make him NOT like me. it didnt really work.
but my Capricorn grandmother would scold me, and say "do not say that! it's not nice,"
i guess she didnt understand me deeply that i was trying to get the boy not to like me THAT way...

it was a lesson that no matter what, boys/guys love you even if you are trying hard to get them off your back. lol

so my grandmother's words, may have been lost on me, but i try to keep it nice. if for polite society sake... sigh.

and i also learned my lesson, or TRIED to, that if someone likes you THAT way, it cannot be helped. they love you, even if it's UNREQUITED.

just let them love you. as long as they know you're not interested. no need to be so mean. but gosh i try so hard
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my capricorn mercury is not very sweet and lovable when i'm trying to tell it like it is. lol


its nice that they like me as a person, but i dont want them to like me THAT way you know? it's a good lesson.

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Posted by RumiLove
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??

You mean like arranged matches?
Its part of my culture......but in my house, my say is final regarding issues in this department.

It takes me a long time to fall in love. When I'm in love.. I'm in love, dictated or not Sad

I have 3 planets each in 5th house and 9th house btw 🙌


i thought you were venus aries?

venus aries, when they see someone they DESIRE, they will go for it...

but then that's the MEN...

i guess for women it's how you flirt, same with 1st house venus.

My Venus is Aries...but in 10th house! It thinks of all the consequences of flirting so it cannot especially with so much water already putting of the fireBig Grin I cannot flirt.. I want marriage Nerd


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i hope you get it!! Big Grin
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by lisabethur8
my family is the same way i notice. they dont follow what other people say, in the matters of the heart.
so is my husband's family.

My immediate family has a ton of fixed suns and/or moons. Not a lotta permission seeking.
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hm i dont know if it's fixed sun or moon


is it really??

i'm more gearing towards the "individual" and upbringing.
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by lisabethur8
my family is the same way i notice. they dont follow what other people say, in the matters of the heart.
so is my husband's family.

My immediate family has a ton of fixed suns and/or moons. Not a lotta permission seeking.

hm i dont know if it's fixed sun or moon


is it really??

i'm more gearing towards the "individual" and upbringing.

Ha. I was too, but then you brought up your family so I chimed in. And I do think it has to do with fixed nature. Can't remember all their Venus and Mars so left it at suns and moons, but we all have a stubborn streak that wouldn't mesh well with being told we can't do something. It's our natural inclination to wanna prove that person wrong.
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for me it's the matter of the heart, but im not fixed moon, or fixed venus and mars.

only in sun. but my chart has a stubborn streak there. lol

it's NOT a matter of trying to prove anything.

it's just that when i love someone, who the hell are you to tell me who to love??

i will even RUN AWAY from home if my parents tell me who to love. that is how i love. with true conviction.
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in a way i can understand Pat Benatar's love style here...but im not a Scorpio moon.

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Posted by Westsidekodak
Posted by lisabethur8
but i see what you mean about your culture.

you depend on your family's support and you trust/love them, so you hope that they choose wisely for you.

although in many cases, it's not Always love there. not romantic but an "arrangement" that is fine with them.

it will SUPPORT you throughout life...

and that is a sense of security there...

at least for your family's well being too.

Arranged marriages are statistically more fulfilling, happier, and long lasting compared to the Western cultured marriage

User Submitted Image


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but that's in India....

and that's just a way of life for them. it's "conditioned" and it is beneficial for them, especially if they come from wealth. Wealthy families support eachother to keep the "wealth" in....

i find that cold alot.
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but yes, it will keep you happy and wealthy and live a good life, but i dont personally believe they are all happy inside.

many of those men have affairs and mistresses i bet. as i've read on asian countries. But that's just by word of mouth and some sites say it too.
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but you'll be happy that you won't starve and you will have the love and support of your family.

so i'm not gonna complain about that. It is their will and their right, and to do what they please in their families, and love life./culture.
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??
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It depends on whose paper. My paper? Sure why not, statistically speaking I have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince I want. I'd take advice on getting set up on a date, but not my final decision, that's mine, and mine alone.

I don't think marrying for love is what causes divorce, it's throwing in the towel, instead of being like the generations before us and actually working on marriage. There is a distinct lack of commitment to the long haul and a pervasive theory that Happily Ever After happens on it's own.
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Posted by Gennie
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??

It depends on whose paper. My paper? Sure why not, statistically speaking I have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince I want. I'd take advice on getting set up on a date, but not my final decision, that's mine, and mine alone.

I don't think marrying for love is what causes divorce, it's throwing in the towel, instead of being like the generations before us and actually working on marriage. There is a distinct lack of commitment to the long haul and a pervasive theory that Happily Ever After happens on it's own.
click to expand

you're pretty airy...so i imagine, it is how it is with you all. you dont feel that "connection" or that feeling that he feels "right". no matter how rich or ambitious or good he is in bed, ect. that kind of thing.
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Posted by Westsidekodak
Posted by lisabethur8
but yes, it will keep you happy and wealthy and live a good life, but i dont personally believe they are all happy inside.

many of those men have affairs and mistresses i bet. as i've read on asian countries. But that's just by word of mouth and some sites say it too.

Lol men will always cheat no matter the culture. You just have a negative stigma to arranged marriage, but it's still your choice technically. You meet with your spouse and decide if it is right with the family.
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yes you're right. i do have that negative view because i dont believe in arranged marriages. But that is their choices and their way of life, culture. I respect that and dont intrude on it. but i still have my own say on it of what i think of it. I'm sure they see what Westerners think of their way of life, and they see Westerners and think the same? So they dont impose on it but are curioius i'm sure.

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and yes PLENTY of men in western countries who dont believe in arranged marriages do alot of that bad stuff with mistresses....gosh looking at all the celebrities in Hollywood, is enough to make you go huh?? Confused O__O


but i see how arranged marriages, they STILL have a choice, in SOME.

although i dont think that all of them really have a choice, you see.
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I'm with Feby. Never allow others to dictact my love life, i do what i want.

Sometimes depending on what we are talking about, if someone tells me i can't have or shouldn't have it makes me want it more...

Laughing
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Posted by justagirl
I'm with Feby. Never allow others to dictact my love life, i do what i want.

Sometimes depending on what we are talking about, if someone tells me i can't have or shouldn't have it makes me want it more...

Laughing

no that sounds like wanting what you can't have.
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that's UNREQUITED love.

which i dont like.
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i had this discussion with Copperdove a few days ago,

where it sounded like she was wanting what she cant have.

so i pointed out maybe it's her gemini moon trine libra mars.

she admitted that it was that, or something to that effect.

why are people going after someone that doesn't want them??
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by justagirl
I'm with Feby. Never allow others to dictact my love life, i do what i want.

Sometimes depending on what we are talking about, if someone tells me i can't have or shouldn't have it makes me want it more...

Laughing

no that sounds like wanting what you can't have.
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i know but that's not what i meant lol

you know like when a kid gets told you shouldn't do this and they do the opposite... my mischivious nature comes out when a friend says hey don't do thatttttt ..
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Posted by lisabethur8
that's UNREQUITED love.

which i dont like.

i do not mean in the matters of the heart. other things.
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Posted by justagirl
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by justagirl
I'm with Feby. Never allow others to dictact my love life, i do what i want.

Sometimes depending on what we are talking about, if someone tells me i can't have or shouldn't have it makes me want it more...

Laughing

no that sounds like wanting what you can't have.

i know but that's not what i meant lol

you know like when a kid gets told you shouldn't do this and they do the opposite... my mischivious nature comes out when a friend says hey don't do thatttttt ..
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that sounds more like my husband. lol
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Posted by justagirl
Posted by lisabethur8
that's UNREQUITED love.

which i dont like.

i do not mean in the matters of the heart. other things.
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mischevious nature.....you have lilith virgo and sag placements...and you have a Scorpio vibe....

hnmmmmm my husband has some of those.... Confused
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by justagirl
Posted by lisabethur8
that's UNREQUITED love.

which i dont like.

i do not mean in the matters of the heart. other things.

mischevious nature.....you have lilith virgo and sag placements...and you have a Scorpio vibe....

hnmmmmm my husband has some of those.... Confused
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lololol

im a big kid sometimes.

I giggle when i play practical jokes- and i ruin them because i giggle like a school kid.

But then other times people can't even tell if im serious or joking , RBF in action!
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Posted by justagirl
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by justagirl
Posted by lisabethur8
that's UNREQUITED love.

which i dont like.

i do not mean in the matters of the heart. other things.

mischevious nature.....you have lilith virgo and sag placements...and you have a Scorpio vibe....

hnmmmmm my husband has some of those.... Confused

lololol

im a big kid sometimes.

I giggle when i play practical jokes- and i ruin them because i giggle like a school kid.

But then other times people can't even tell if im serious or joking , RBF in action!
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lol

of course my man is a MAN and you're a woman TongueLaughing

rbf = poker face?? Tongue



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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Gennie
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by RumiLove
Aquarius off all signs do not allow others to dictate their love life from what I've seen. Its just not Aquarius-ish lol

what about you??


and i dont know about that....

i bet there are some aqua suns out there that follow like sheep and just say ok, he/she sounds good to me on paper, lets do it.

um.. wha??

It depends on whose paper. My paper? Sure why not, statistically speaking I have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince I want. I'd take advice on getting set up on a date, but not my final decision, that's mine, and mine alone.

I don't think marrying for love is what causes divorce, it's throwing in the towel, instead of being like the generations before us and actually working on marriage. There is a distinct lack of commitment to the long haul and a pervasive theory that Happily Ever After happens on it's own.

you're pretty airy...so i imagine, it is how it is with you all. you dont feel that "connection" or that feeling that he feels "right". no matter how rich or ambitious or good he is in bed, ect. that kind of thing.
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Love for me is like a tree, it starts out as an acorn, sprouts into a sapling and over time, puts down roots and grows a trunk that will not break. Early in the beginning, that love is killable if its not nurtured and tended. I can easily let it go, and wistfully wonder "what if" before moving along. Fully matured, the tree changes minutely between old growth and new, but it's sturdy, with leaves made for shelter. Being a fixed sign is not only about stubbornness, it's also about strength.

Often, Aqua Suns and Moons are equated with being as flighty or fickle as the other air signs. That isn't necessarily true, we're adaptive until circumstances dictate that we stand our ground and keep the line. Rosa Parks, Abraham Lincoln, Jimmy Hoffa, Susan B Anthony, Charles Darwin, Jackie Robinson to name a few. Aquarius Men fall out of love easier than the women of our sign, however I think it's a lack of understanding their own tree (the ladies are more instinctive about it) and a failure to communicate how it must be nurtured. Also lay some of the blame at society, Men are not supposed to be all into their emotions Confused

I explained all this to Scorpie, seeing as how he seemed to be getting the deep feels first before me. His response "Ok so how water the damn tree?" Laughing

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Posted by feby
No, never. I am very defiant in fact. I will consider what people say but I have always done what I wanted.


I do the opposite of what people want me to do. smile
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