Expressing Feelings

Over the past year and a half on this site, I have seen many Aquas state that they don't share their feelings for someone or say the L-word very often, if ever, even though they feel those feelings.

My question is why can't you or why won't you share those feelings? What holds you back?

Is it fear of being trapped? Fear of rejection? Fear the other person will push to move the relationship forward? Don't think its necessary? Don't think about it? Not sure if you feel it? Don't feel it? Etc. —??

I realize Aquas (like us caps) would rather show how they care than say it. However, the difference in aquarius and capricorn is that once a cap has processed through feels sure, they will tell their significant other how they feel and will do so often once we are 100% sure and comfortable.

My question is intended to encourage you to reach into yourself and discover what holds you back. Realize, it is important to your partner to hear it occasionally. Hopefully, this self discovery can assist to create deeper connections for you.

Yes, actions say so much more and mean so much more, but words are nice too.

And I don't want to hear things like "I'm here aren't I? Doesn't that show you I care?"

Yes, it does, but I am looking for deeper answers than that.

lol!!!!

I agree with Tigress. Another reason why I don't express much is lack of the right words to say, I hate being cliche lol. Feelings for me are really hard to vocalize, makes me feel uncomfortable & like Tigress said, yeah..embarrassed. If I'm with you it means I love you, but I just don't wanna say it.

I don't like putting words to my feelings or emotions as they are constantly changing. I find words limit the depth of an emotion.

Thanks for your honest answers.

From the other side, when you don't express it, it leaves your partner in limbo and unsure.

Posted by truecap
Thanks for your honest answers.

From the other side, when you don't express it, it leaves your partner in limbo and unsure.

I have never had a complaint 🙂 Even though I don't express my feelings, the person I love deeply knows that for sure. It comes through in many ways.

Yeah, I understand. You just know they do, but it would be nice to hear confirmation. 🙂

Wonder if the guys think the same way?

I'll express my feelings if I feel like it can resolve a certain issue. I can see it as being a selfish act but all I can really say sometimes my feelings are mine and I'd rather not share them or involve third parties in working my own feelings out.

Say for instance with my family issues, I don't really talk a whole lot about it unless it's driven me to me limits that I need to let off some steam. In which case it always creates negativity which I don't like so I'd be more inclined to keep those thoughts to myself.

If it has to do with the relationship at hand, provided we're both thinking straight, then I'll start talking about my feelings for the sake of clearer communication.

Also half the time when I do share some inner thoughts others tend to jump in wanting to fix things or express their opinion. That I don't like. You can express whatever the hell you want but don't try and change what's going on in my mind and just understand I'm only sharing because you asked 😛

Good point, aquasnoz. Something to definitely keep in mind.

+1 aquasnoz. Does anybody know why feb16 deleted?

I hope she returns

what the hell is going on around here lately lol. I liked feb 😢

I always thought I was super expressive until the current situation I'm in with a cancer woman. I mean, I'm very expressive, but there's this back room of emotions that I won't let anyone into. I'll say, "I'm going to just put everything out on the table," and then it's mild and bland and doesn't come near expressing what I'm truly feeling. Some others have explained some of what I feel here, for example, words not truly holding the depth of the feelings inside.

It's like I need a translator or something. I feel - I love you. I say - I care for you deeply. It does seem like a form of embarrassment or fear of rejection. It's sad, because I'm making myself sick holding my true feelings inside. All my friends know how much I care about her, but I've never shown her "the secret room."

She isn't one to talk much at all, so I guess that just adds to my fear of rejection and the thought that I might end up embarrassing myself.

Anyway, I'm pretty expressive about how I feel about people and family and news stories and movies, everything, but having such deep feelings for someone creates a massive expression problem for me.

truecap..

i guess i can't really feel accepted if i were to communicate those feelings, so i just simply adapt and move on. I suppose the root is not trusting or giving others a chance to show capabilities of caring.Because at the end, its simple..others will respond to my needs or feelings with reasons and logic. Something along the lines of "you misunderstood, what i meant is..."

so i figure if i can just see that as their response then why bother expressing?

interesting thread.. I likee

Posted by Metoo
True Cap did you ever sweetly tell him you'd like to hear his thoughts more or that even though you love your relationship you would love the assurance of his feelings sometimes. Im not sure of what his reaction would be but I think its ok at this point to ask for what you need. He wants to please you but cant read your mind. Tell him what would make things even better in a fun sweet way, and qive him some time to deliver. He prob assumes you know.
If you need the words, tell him you need the words.

I have not come right out and told him that. However, I have hinted. For instance, one time we were talking. He teased me and said he was going to see how long it would taken me to ask about why he didn't do something I had asked him to do a couple weeks before. I told him I would have never brought it back up. He said he went ahead and did it because he didn't want me to thank he didn't care. I told him well, you might want to let a girl that know every now and then! He laughed and said Okay, I hear ya!

Before I get fussed at: I know! I know!! He's telling me right there he cares!!!!! But that was four months ago. I'm not a demanding woman, but a little reassurance really is nice to hear and more often than once a quarter!

Posted by MuchLovetoGive
I always thought I was super expressive until the current situation I'm in with a cancer woman. I mean, I'm very expressive, but there's this back room of emotions that I won't let anyone into. I'll say, "I'm going to just put everything out on the table," and then it's mild and bland and doesn't come near expressing what I'm truly feeling. Some others have explained some of what I feel here, for example, words not truly holding the depth of the feelings inside.

It's like I need a translator or something. I feel - I love you. I say - I care for you deeply. It does seem like a form of embarrassment or fear of rejection. It's sad, because I'm making myself sick holding my true feelings inside. All my friends know how much I care about her, but I've never shown her "the secret room."

She isn't one to talk much at all, so I guess that just adds to my fear of rejection and the thought that I might end up embarrassing myself.

Anyway, I'm pretty expressive about how I feel about people and family and news stories and movies, everything, but having such deep feelings for someone creates a massive expression problem for me.

You should tell her. She needs to hear it. Especially since she's a Cancer, she REALLY needs to hear it!!!

Thanks for explaining your point of view. His family treats me very well. For instance, his mother always gives me a big, big hug when she sees me.

Posted by candi3bb
truecap..

i guess i can't really feel accepted if i were to communicate those feelings, so i just simply adapt and move on. I suppose the root is not trusting or giving others a chance to show capabilities of caring.Because at the end, its simple..others will respond to my needs or feelings with reasons and logic. Something along the lines of "you misunderstood, what i meant is..."

so i figure if i can just see that as their response then why bother expressing?

Have you been humiliated or embarrassed before? I feel like if you don't take risks you will never know. There's always a way to come out gracefully. Just have your exit strategy planned. Like "I love you"..."you misunderstood"..."duh! like a friend doofus! I love all my friends!"

He was doing something really nice for me one day and it almost popped out "you DO love me, don't you?" But I caught myself and said "you do the nicest things for me. Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate you?"

I think basically I just want to make sure we're on the same page feelings-wise. I'm not in a hurry for more than that and I don't want to push anything either.

I didn't mean for this thread to be about my relationship, I just wanted some insight into the aquarius mind. I appreciate everyone for being honest with me. It has helped tremendously!!

I once told a friend of mine that I loved her. I cannot express the guilt I felt after I told her... I realized I didn't really mean it.

I'm not really the most emotionally aware person I know.

@ metoo - thank you so much for your honesty. I think you have me pegged.

I appreciate that yall. Wow! I am thankful for the moral support and the advice!

I share my thoughts with people including Aquas becuase I want to know their thoughts too. YOu'd think if you asked an aqua what their opinion or feelings were on a subject they would say something. Most of the time they just sit there listening to you.

So the conversations always felt pointless.

Also as far as what the OP is asking, what I don't get is how other people notice "things" about aquas that involve me but I never see the same actions. So I never believe those other people.

Sure I believe that they use actions to show how they feel vs. saying it outright but most of the time their actions are completely random or are the same with everyone they know.

So how do you know what it actually means?

They read character instinctively, and for this reason they "see through" people too easily to be really happy.

I think this is the main problem.
that and being overly sensitive contrary to popular belief.

http://www.gotohoroscope.com/aquarius-meanings.html<BR>

@TrueCap

My apologies. I suppose what I said made it sound like... since your guy can supposedly "read your character" he will not share his feelings with you. I wasn't really trying to say that sorry for not thinking enough about it :/

I think he probably is thinking about it in one of two ways which you know all two well hun. I think I would only be repeating that for which you already know.

I know this much I have always eventually expressed my feelings for someone and not just by actions but with words. So I could not tell you why he is being so slow. I know this much, if he has been a quote on quote "item" with you for as long as you say, then he cares a lot about you whether you always feel it or not. I have found though as I've gotten older I am less likely to jump in with how I feel about someone only because I have felt this way before and yet I am somehow not with the person anymore that I loved so much. For an idealistic personality like mine and a typical Aquarius... that is a 'do not compute' moment. So, being in love in a relationship that did not work, it will always bring us or me to question how I feel in the future. I'll come up with all sorts of reasons why how I'm feeling is not love, how it's just infatuation or any other excuse I could come up with. I dunno it's pretty immature I suppose.

I'm sure if your guy has been in love, been married, or had enough serious relationships for this to be a possibility then it is most likely the kind of thing you are dealing with then... and with how I am about it right now at my age... I can only imagine what it would be like for him in his mind lol.

One thing I know for sure is love is real because I feel it and I give it... you can quote me on that.

Thank you NYAA. I think you may be onto something. I kind of suspect this too and I think he's still processing.