Eye-batting?

So...I've started talking to my aqua ex who said we should build up a foundation first before "jumping the gun" and just be friends...his words where "as much as I would love to get back with you, I feel we're both not ready, and should just build up as friends and see where it goes, and I'm not going to say anything concrete because I dont want it to blow up in my face"...I know I should just go with the flow :/ but being a cancer makes me worry?

How exactly do I approach this situation?

The ex part is my fault, and I always have hope things can change and be better, quite possibly the only time I'm optimistic.
I've answered those questions already, which is why I decided to try once again.
I just dont know how to handle this, as Ive never been in this situation before :/

How do you approach the situation? Well answer these questions?

1. Why did the breakup happen?
2. Are you sure you really want him back for him or do you want the kind of love HE can give you back? (there's a difference)

How do you approach the situation? You do exactly as he said & just let things pawn out. The WORST thing 2 people can do after a break up is immediately get back together b/c they are only getting back together out of emotions instead of logic, clear thinking & a rational mind-set. Part of the reason he believes that you 2 need time a part is for the very reason that you don't understand why you need time a part. He feels that you are reacting from your emotions & even though he wants to do the same thing, he knows that someone has to be the rational thinker, if his/her partner won't. he feels that if there's any chance of saving the connection you two have got, then it's best to see what life is like w/o it so that the appreciate of having it will come back. It sucks for you b/c all you want is his temporary presence and the "title" be official again. But any time couples immediately get back together they are skipping the healing, forgiving & emotions-in-check process that if ignored or skipped, will only make things worse. You don't see it yet b/c you are not thinking with your logic. And thinking with all emotions might be part of the reason he is an "X' in the first place. Do you want this guy back b/c you need him or do you want him back so bad out of habbit? Figure that out first. Prove to yourself that you can live w/o him & start healing & taking the risk that things might not ever be the same again. Then you'll understand where he's coming from

Relax and somehow take care of you and your life.
(The mind of an aqua where possibilities and things in mind are endless means anything can happen)
There is always a posibility...If they believe it, so be excited but look out for you as this could mean anytime, I know its hard for you being a cancer but you should live your life as if his mind is elsewhere and i think your lucky this dude was honest.

Better to have him be real than be with you and him still have other things in his life or thoughts going on that could mess it up again

So dont worry or stress but dont get to caught up in what he said. An aquarian goes as far as his mind ive been out with one also.
and one thing i can say you could never guess what they want or plan or do next.
So yes belive him, dont worry its not worth it as none of his actions will reasure you.

Thanks guys for all the responses, especially waterbaby and krysnee 🙂

I must admit it is too much for my brain to grasp, one minute he's asking me if I am going to bother to fix anything and the next he tells me we arent reading, that we should talk as friends and then now that we should talk as if we were "talking talking," but yet in his mind this doesnt mean "lets talk everyday and go from there" this means that he doesnt have to talk to me everyday and I guess I'm left in limbo. I brought it up to him because I find it odd, he said it was all in my head and to stop trying to rush things. He says if we want to we can text eachother, and if we want to we can hang out, blah blah. He said that if he didnt have any aspirations or hopes of getting back he wouldnt be wasting his time, that he isnt talking to anyone else, to just relax and quite my craziness >😢


Idk if at this point I'm being seriously delusional or seriously immature about the situation, or if hes just...who knows?

And I guess thats you meant waterbaby, to not worry because in the end none of his actions will reassure me? Hehe I could have read it wrong...twice 🙂

i dont think the cancer is a good partner for an aquarius,,if the connection where there,he wouldnt have to say you where just friends or bla bla bla,.then you would just be friends ,,enjoy eachother and things wouldwork out in wich ever way without having to make a statement about it.

The mere fact that he's trying to "plan out" how often or little you guys should & can talk spells trouble! It sounds like he wants to have his cake & eat it too. Sounds like he doesn't want you but yet gives you enough hope so that you won't go out & find someone else (he doesn't want anyone else to have you either). It seems like this guy has already 50% detached & b/c he is only halfway gone, he only wants you 50% . He doesn't want to let you go completely b/c he knows that in the middle of all this "thinking things through" he might change his mind & it'll kill him to find out later that you got over him fast & moved on to someone new. So what will he do? He'll try his hardest to keep you around but not around in the way you used to. And yes, this is very selfish of him b/c he needs to make up his mind & quit dragging you through this just b/c HE can't get his emotions in check.

You guys probably should take a break but you guys either need to completely cut off the communication (so that you both can get your heads clear w/o having to worry about the other person's words or actions clouding your judgement) or keep the flow going the way it used to. The reason you are so confused & not content with what he's suggesting is b/c what he's suggesting isn't along the lines of your comfort zone & what you're used to with him. And at this point, he's already shown you that he's being indecisive & selfish, so what you've got to do is take control & take the power back. Don't forget that YOU have some control too. If you want him the way you used to or not at all, then let him know & SHOW him BETTER than you can tell him. You'd be suprised at how quick he either gets it together (and wants to go back to the way things used to be) or speeds up his "Getting over you" process & completely lets go. Either way, it's not fair for him to leave you hanging like this. But at the same time if you continue to stay & let him dictate & control your emotions, then it'll be your fault if you get your heart broken at the end of all this. Take some control so you'll be better prepared just in case he decides weeks/months from now that it's "just not going to work out."

What he's doing is the OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK. He already knows deep down if he wants to get back with you & if that answer was yes, he'd immediately be jumping on the bandwagon to make things right or to give you the chance to make things right. It's kind of hard to make things right if the relationship is no longer standing. I truly believe that this guy doesn't want you back, but isn't ready to 100% detach yet, so what he's doing is so common: he's giving you just enough to make you stay, but not too much to give you the wrong impression. This guy is not going to let you go completely until he's 100% detached from you & if you play into his games, you're only giving him more motivation & amunition to play them.

How dare he put you on a texting/phone call schedule. If you guys want to talk 56 times a day, then talk 56 times a day. Trying to map out & schedule & place limits on love is NOT love. What he's doing right now is selfish & is probably something he's done with his past partners. It's a mind game that he's playing. With him being a Cancer, trust me if he had some issues with you but yet couldn't bare the thought of losing you, he'd suck it up & still be with you & have faith that things would work out. Any time a Cancer detaches from the relationship & gives those "We need space" talks, it's because they are slowly but surely detaching. Don't believe me? Watch, as time goes on, he's going to become less available. Whereas he'd usually call you back in 5 minutes when he said he would, he'll start returning your calls 5 hours later. He'll start to change & start to show more & more hesistation at the thought of getting back together, but yet at the same time pretend like he's not b/c he's playing mind games with not only you, but also with himself. And when this starts to happen the relationship is basically over. You're probably only staying b/c he's giving you hope (even if it's 1% ) that there's a chance, but what you don't foresee is how fast this guy is just going to disappear the minute he gets the strength to not need you at all anymore in his life & then it will hit you like a ton of bricks. I just hope you take control before it gets to that point

i would just go out one night,,find a one nighter,then next day call the "friend" and tell him all about it...

I let him go today, I am not one to want to have my heart being squashed ESPECIALLY with how damn sensitive I am lol. Its sad yes, but I told him I didnt like the situation, and that though mentally I understood it to a certain extent, I couldnt do it emotionally.

Thanks again for all the advice, even though IM the cancer krysnee hehe
🙂

but yes, that does sound like something I would do to detach myself :/

Thanks again guys, I would have loved to continue that relationship but it was completely wrong, it wouldnt take care of my needs and it would only be a matter of time before I would get exhausted.

Well I'm glad that you are letting your logic lead you through this situation vs. just your raw emotions. At the end of the day, you can love somebody to pieces but your own intuition never lies to you. You know deep down that even if this guy chose to come back around that you weren't being fulfilled & that your needs weren't being satisfied to your standards! If anything, he did you a favor by leaving you high & dry b/c it gave you a chance to really think about what you want & what you don't want. Sometimes it takes situations like this for you to realize that "wait a minute, I'm with the wrong person anyways." And yeah, I figured that HE was the Aquarian after I had already responded the 2nd time.

Yeah, him being the Aquarian won't change anything that I said. He's already detached himself to some extent & he is not ready to let you go completely, so he figures that he'll be selfish & that you are naive & vulnerable enough to stay around for his games. A man will treat you the way you teach him too. And this is the best time as ever to let him see how strong of a person you are. Sometimes men wait too late to take you seriously & I think that is the case. But oh well, it's not fair that you have to sit & wait. It's not fair that his own screwed up emotions are being put out there at your expense.

Thank you krysnee for all the responses, I wish I had you in my pocket 🙂 haha