Fellow Aquas, please help an Aqua out
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by putiputi on Monday, June 3, 2013 and has 4 replies.
I am an Aqua and I have been talking to my Virgo guy for six months. We are several states apart from California to Texas, and have only physically spent time together twice (first time in Vegas in February and second time when he came to Cali last week). Vegas was just me and him, but when he came to Cali it was more for a fraternity event that he and I are both in. Therefore, we didn't exactly get to spend time together one on one, and I was a slightly disappointed. He doesn't talk to anyone else and neither have I. We are both pretty much exclusive.
A couple nights ago, we had a talk on Skype. There were some things that I wanted to let him know. I had caught him twice with his arms around another girl's at the party. I felt uncomfortable about it and told him. I asked him to not do it again because I just wanted him to respect me. As simple as that, but it may have sound like a commitment issue for him. On top of that I had brought up about moving forward and taking it to the next step considering that we've been talking for six months so I thought it would be a good time to talk about it. I guess I was wrong because he was hesitant and said that we were moving too fast. It didn't make sense at all because we are clearly moving at a very slow pace. He said that we've only seen each other twice and that's not enough so I'm assuming that he needs to spend more time with my physically in order to be more serious about things. We do text almost everyday and we currently Skype once a week. Perhaps I was asking too much at once and he couldn't take it all in? It was because of this that he started having second thoughts about where things were going between us.
A couple nights ago, we had a talk on Skype. There were some things that I wanted to let him know. I had caught him twice with his arms around another girl's at the party. I felt uncomfortable about it and told him. I asked him to not do it again because I just wanted him to respect me. As simple as that, but it may have sound like a commitment issue for him. On top of that I had brought up about moving forward and taking it to the next step considering that we've been talking for six months so I thought it would be a good time to talk about it. I guess I was wrong because he was hesitant and said that we were moving too fast. It didn't make sense at all because we are clearly moving at a very slow pace. He said that we've only seen each other twice and that's not enough so I'm assuming that he needs to spend more time with my physically in order to be more serious about things. We do text almost everyday and we currently Skype once a week. Perhaps I was asking too much at once and he couldn't take it all in? It was because of this that he started having second thoughts about where things were going between us.
So we had a long talk time last night and he ended up telling me that he just can't seem to handle a long distance relationship. It's difficult for him that I'm not there with him in person because he really wants me to be there with him. Me, being an independent Aqua woman have no problem with long distance relationship. Although, it could be difficult for me at times I try my best to be optimistic about things and keep myself busy. He continued on and said he played some scenarios out in his head over and over and none of the outcomes were good. He didn't tell me what were those scenarios were... so I was confused. I told him that he was just being pessimistic but he claimed that he was being a realist. That is what I call a stubborn Virgo; constantly over analyzing things and instead looking at what could be improved on and become better, he chooses to look at the worst. It breaks my heart to see him give up this easily and right now I am trying my best to make things work. There is something special about him and that he's definitely different than all the guys that I have previously dated so I don't want to lose this opportunity. I asked him if he would like to Skype with me more often so that we can actually see each other more and he agreed to it. I also asked him if he still wants to see me next month since I had originally planned on going to Texas to visit him and he agreed to that as well.
What should I do at this point? In order to convince him that this long distance relationship will work? I don't want him to give up easily and I want him to see this as a challenge. There is a possibility that he will be moving to California and find a job here. He has been unemployed since January but will be getting a job soon. He thinks he's a mess right now because he's on probation and that his criminal record is preventing from getting a job (in Texas). I am constantly being supportive and understand his situation. I hope he doesn't take for me granted and come to a realization.
Thank you for reading. Sorry this was so long.
What should I do at this point? In order to convince him that this long distance relationship will work? I don't want him to give up easily and I want him to see this as a challenge. There is a possibility that he will be moving to California and find a job here. He has been unemployed since January but will be getting a job soon. He thinks he's a mess right now because he's on probation and that his criminal record is preventing from getting a job (in Texas). I am constantly being supportive and understand his situation. I hope he doesn't take for me granted and come to a realization.
Thank you for reading. Sorry this was so long.
I also forgot to mention that he told me that he is in love with me.. so pretty much the ball is in my court right now. I feel that he's been stressing out about this too much so I'm going to stop talking to him since I'm usually the one initiating the conversation, and just give him some space.
As a fellow earth sign, I can totally see his point of view. I don't think long distance relationships are very doable and I just don't see the point in it. There are a lot of angles to consider and eventually one of you will have to move in order for the relationship to work and sometimes its just not very realistic.
He has obviously put a lot of thought into this. It doesn't have anything to do with whether he likes you or not and its definitely not personal. Its just the logistics. You're not likely going to convince an earth sign that its a good idea because believe me, he's analyzed every pro and every con and has made is decision that it's not going to be feasable. Plus, he's tried it and its just not working for him. Remain friends, though. He could end up being one of the best friends you'd ever have.
I'm sorry and I know you are disappointed.
He has obviously put a lot of thought into this. It doesn't have anything to do with whether he likes you or not and its definitely not personal. Its just the logistics. You're not likely going to convince an earth sign that its a good idea because believe me, he's analyzed every pro and every con and has made is decision that it's not going to be feasable. Plus, he's tried it and its just not working for him. Remain friends, though. He could end up being one of the best friends you'd ever have.
I'm sorry and I know you are disappointed.
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