Get my Aqua Man back
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by libra77777 on Monday, September 10, 2018 and has 20 replies.
I met my boyfriend in February - in the beginning he did all the chasing, he was constantly telling me he’d never felt this way about anyone and we had the perfect relationship.
He is still married (but separated for over 2 years) and has 2 children. I met his kids after a couple of months, they were fantastic and we still have a great relationship now. His ex has been fantastic too, I’ve never actually met her, but she has text me a few times to thank me for how I’ve been with the kids.
Mike (my ex) told me that his wife and him, had been in a rut for the last 5 years of there relationship. They weren’t in love but stayed together for the kids. They slept in separate rooms, spent a lot of time apart and argued a lot. They were never right for each other as their personalities clashed. She is materialistic, he is adventurous. When he met me he said all his dream came true, I was the girl he’d always wanted to end up with, we share so many similar interests, I’m great with his kids, kind, thoughtful, and we have great sexual chemistry.
He also told me that he did suffer a lot after the breakdown of his marriage, he had counselling and was in a dark place. He re-assured me though that his struggles were to do with missing his children and not feeling like a proper dad as he had to live separately from them.
I met Mike’s family and they all told me the same thing about how he’s struggled with the situation with the kids. They all thanked me for putting a smile back on his face.
I was on holiday when I realised I was in love with Mike, I missed him so much and even though it had only been 3/4 months was over the moon when I got back and he asked if he could move in with me. At the time my room mate was moving out, and Mike's contract on his flat was coming to an end. I needed someone else to move in to help with the rent, but I was worried that the only reason Mike was saying it was to help me out as I had been panicking about it. He re-assured me that this was not the case and that he saw a future with me, so didn’t want to wait another 12 months to move in together. We told the kids, they were so happy and Mike's ex was really pleased too.
He moved in whilst I was on another holiday, I’d made a special effort to leave housewarming cards and gift for him and the 2 children, so they felt welcome. He said it was things like this that made him love me so much.
Over the past month, Mike has been distant with me. He has communicated a few times that he didn’t feel like things were working, and I’ve done the typical crying and begging him to give things another go on 2 occasions.
I caught him once speaking to my friend about his ex, he referred to her as ‘my wife’, this bothered me as, although she technically is his wife, they are separated and I felt like it was a bit disrespectful. I communicated this to him and he couldn’t see my point of view, in the end we decided to agree to disagree, after I asked him whether he still had feelings for her and he said no.
I then looked through his phone. I went back 5 years and read all the texts between him and his ex. He was telling the truth, there was no love in that relationship, he never sent her anything like he did me and there wasn’t even kisses on the end of messages, it was volitile. This set my mind at rest.
Then on a recent trip together, we went to a festival, were having a great time, then all of a sudden, Mike started crying at a song, when I questioned him on this he got angry, but eventually told me that it reminded him of his old family life. We split up that night, then the next day he’d lost his passport, so was upset, I changed my flight to stay with him as he was worrying about everything, he was so thankful and kissed me, we were back together and had the best 2 extra days on holiday.
When we got back, I realised that Mike was losing attraction and that I had to give him space. He asked me if I would give me a lift to meet his friend for a drink, I said yes and when he got back made an effort to ask him how his night was and say’ “I’m pleased you had a good night, you should go out with him more often’. I could sense thought that things were still not great. I went to bed and thought about what I could do. Mike had promised me he would take me away for my birthday in October. I knew his friends were all planning a lads trip though and that Mike couldn’t take anymore time off work. I got out of bed and went and sat with him in the living room. I mentioned the trips, and said, “Mike I know things haven’t been the best lately, and I know you’re having a hard time at work too, I was thinking about our holiday and wondered whether we should book to do it early next year instead, I think going on the trip with your friends would benefit you and would like you to do that’. He said are you sure, I said yes and kissed him then went back to bed feeling happy.
The next day he said we need to talk, he dumped me, with no explanation just that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I cried a little, but didn’t ask him to reconsider. He said he was sorry and that he would be taking the kids away the following week to visit his family. It was the hardest week of my life. I didn’t contact him once. I did text his son on his birthday to say happy birthday and tell him I’d got a present, He replied and said thank you.
When he got back he text me to say he was back at the apartment and that he hoped I’d had a great week. I replied with just ‘OK'.
Since then things have been awkward, he spends a lot of time in his room. I’ve been civil but haven’t made conversation with him. I’ve made sure to go out and try and live my life (make him see the girl he fell for in the beginning). He has done a few things, that have made me think theres still hope:
1. He saved a score sheet from our first date (golfing) and had it stuck on the fridge, along with the postcards I’d sent him, a photo of him and his kids and a picture his niece had drawn for me. I noticed one day that he’d removed them, so I looked in the bin, they weren’t there. I then snooped in his room. He had kept them in his bedside table. I don’t understand why he would keep the score sheet etc if he had no feelings.
2. I have been updating my FB story (Mike doesn’t really understand FB so won’t know that I can see when he views it), he doesn’t usually go on FB, but he has been watching my story everyday. It has mostly been photos of walks in the countryside and food (2 of our passions)
3. He caught up with me on my walk to work the other day, and asked me how my family was how work was etc, then said we should start walking to work together again.
4. His ex has offered to move out of the house they share together and move in with her BF, so he can move out of my apartment and live back in the house until it sells. He said no (but this could also be because of the memories in that house)
But also things that have made me think there is no change of us getting back together:
1. He hasn’t seemed at all bothered at me going out and looks unhappy whenever in the flat
2. I told him that my friend Ed (that I went on 2 dates with before I met Mike) is looking for somewhere to live and would take over Mike’s tenancy if he subsidised the rent by £100 for the next 10 months. He agreed to do this without hesitation, and even started looking for a new flat. I explained to Mike that it wasn’t what I want, as Ed is not the type of person I’d want to live with and is not respectful or tidy etc, but the still wanted to do this. He did change his mind in the end (because he spoke to his daughter about it and she said I don’t think it’s fair on her and we should wait and things will get less awkward and you can be friends). I could still tell however that deep down this is what he would prefer.
3. He has been like a different person the past month, sometimes cruel and not the loving, kind man I fell in love with
His kids are devastated about our breakup and have been upset. They have spent 3 nights at the flat this week and have both said to their mum that it has been awkward, but that I have made a lot of effort to still make them welcome and tried to act normal with Mike in front of them, but their Dad has been staying in his room a lot. His daughter told me this.
This week is my 3rd week of trying to be as silence as possible with him. The only time I have tried to speak to him, is in front of his children as I want the living environment to still be a nice place for them, but even then it has just been things like “Oh Mike I’ve transferred you some bills money”, “Do you mind if I shut the balcony door” etc etc and I have tried not to spend too much time with them in the living room, just enough so they know I’m not in anyway mad at the children.
Yesterday was particularly difficult to not speak as his daughter confided in me about being bullied at school, she had pretended to be ill to have time off and asked me not to tell her dad. I persuaded her that her dad did need to know and we told him together, however his only response was brief. Simply he said not to worry and that she should go to school tomorrow, he then left me alone to speak to her about it. He thanked me this morning for everything I did last night.
I'm libra and he's Aquarius. What are everyone's thoughts on this? Do aqua men usually change their mind? Everyone of my friends are so shocked because he seemed so in love with me. Is there anything I can do to try and meant the relationship?
He is still married (but separated for over 2 years) and has 2 children. I met his kids after a couple of months, they were fantastic and we still have a great relationship now. His ex has been fantastic too, I’ve never actually met her, but she has text me a few times to thank me for how I’ve been with the kids.
Mike (my ex) told me that his wife and him, had been in a rut for the last 5 years of there relationship. They weren’t in love but stayed together for the kids. They slept in separate rooms, spent a lot of time apart and argued a lot. They were never right for each other as their personalities clashed. She is materialistic, he is adventurous. When he met me he said all his dream came true, I was the girl he’d always wanted to end up with, we share so many similar interests, I’m great with his kids, kind, thoughtful, and we have great sexual chemistry.
He also told me that he did suffer a lot after the breakdown of his marriage, he had counselling and was in a dark place. He re-assured me though that his struggles were to do with missing his children and not feeling like a proper dad as he had to live separately from them.
I met Mike’s family and they all told me the same thing about how he’s struggled with the situation with the kids. They all thanked me for putting a smile back on his face.
I was on holiday when I realised I was in love with Mike, I missed him so much and even though it had only been 3/4 months was over the moon when I got back and he asked if he could move in with me. At the time my room mate was moving out, and Mike's contract on his flat was coming to an end. I needed someone else to move in to help with the rent, but I was worried that the only reason Mike was saying it was to help me out as I had been panicking about it. He re-assured me that this was not the case and that he saw a future with me, so didn’t want to wait another 12 months to move in together. We told the kids, they were so happy and Mike's ex was really pleased too.
He moved in whilst I was on another holiday, I’d made a special effort to leave housewarming cards and gift for him and the 2 children, so they felt welcome. He said it was things like this that made him love me so much.
Over the past month, Mike has been distant with me. He has communicated a few times that he didn’t feel like things were working, and I’ve done the typical crying and begging him to give things another go on 2 occasions.
I caught him once speaking to my friend about his ex, he referred to her as ‘my wife’, this bothered me as, although she technically is his wife, they are separated and I felt like it was a bit disrespectful. I communicated this to him and he couldn’t see my point of view, in the end we decided to agree to disagree, after I asked him whether he still had feelings for her and he said no.
I then looked through his phone. I went back 5 years and read all the texts between him and his ex. He was telling the truth, there was no love in that relationship, he never sent her anything like he did me and there wasn’t even kisses on the end of messages, it was volitile. This set my mind at rest.
Then on a recent trip together, we went to a festival, were having a great time, then all of a sudden, Mike started crying at a song, when I questioned him on this he got angry, but eventually told me that it reminded him of his old family life. We split up that night, then the next day he’d lost his passport, so was upset, I changed my flight to stay with him as he was worrying about everything, he was so thankful and kissed me, we were back together and had the best 2 extra days on holiday.
When we got back, I realised that Mike was losing attraction and that I had to give him space. He asked me if I would give me a lift to meet his friend for a drink, I said yes and when he got back made an effort to ask him how his night was and say’ “I’m pleased you had a good night, you should go out with him more often’. I could sense thought that things were still not great. I went to bed and thought about what I could do. Mike had promised me he would take me away for my birthday in October. I knew his friends were all planning a lads trip though and that Mike couldn’t take anymore time off work. I got out of bed and went and sat with him in the living room. I mentioned the trips, and said, “Mike I know things haven’t been the best lately, and I know you’re having a hard time at work too, I was thinking about our holiday and wondered whether we should book to do it early next year instead, I think going on the trip with your friends would benefit you and would like you to do that’. He said are you sure, I said yes and kissed him then went back to bed feeling happy.
The next day he said we need to talk, he dumped me, with no explanation just that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I cried a little, but didn’t ask him to reconsider. He said he was sorry and that he would be taking the kids away the following week to visit his family. It was the hardest week of my life. I didn’t contact him once. I did text his son on his birthday to say happy birthday and tell him I’d got a present, He replied and said thank you.
When he got back he text me to say he was back at the apartment and that he hoped I’d had a great week. I replied with just ‘OK'.
Since then things have been awkward, he spends a lot of time in his room. I’ve been civil but haven’t made conversation with him. I’ve made sure to go out and try and live my life (make him see the girl he fell for in the beginning). He has done a few things, that have made me think theres still hope:
1. He saved a score sheet from our first date (golfing) and had it stuck on the fridge, along with the postcards I’d sent him, a photo of him and his kids and a picture his niece had drawn for me. I noticed one day that he’d removed them, so I looked in the bin, they weren’t there. I then snooped in his room. He had kept them in his bedside table. I don’t understand why he would keep the score sheet etc if he had no feelings.
2. I have been updating my FB story (Mike doesn’t really understand FB so won’t know that I can see when he views it), he doesn’t usually go on FB, but he has been watching my story everyday. It has mostly been photos of walks in the countryside and food (2 of our passions)
3. He caught up with me on my walk to work the other day, and asked me how my family was how work was etc, then said we should start walking to work together again.
4. His ex has offered to move out of the house they share together and move in with her BF, so he can move out of my apartment and live back in the house until it sells. He said no (but this could also be because of the memories in that house)
But also things that have made me think there is no change of us getting back together:
1. He hasn’t seemed at all bothered at me going out and looks unhappy whenever in the flat
2. I told him that my friend Ed (that I went on 2 dates with before I met Mike) is looking for somewhere to live and would take over Mike’s tenancy if he subsidised the rent by £100 for the next 10 months. He agreed to do this without hesitation, and even started looking for a new flat. I explained to Mike that it wasn’t what I want, as Ed is not the type of person I’d want to live with and is not respectful or tidy etc, but the still wanted to do this. He did change his mind in the end (because he spoke to his daughter about it and she said I don’t think it’s fair on her and we should wait and things will get less awkward and you can be friends). I could still tell however that deep down this is what he would prefer.
3. He has been like a different person the past month, sometimes cruel and not the loving, kind man I fell in love with
His kids are devastated about our breakup and have been upset. They have spent 3 nights at the flat this week and have both said to their mum that it has been awkward, but that I have made a lot of effort to still make them welcome and tried to act normal with Mike in front of them, but their Dad has been staying in his room a lot. His daughter told me this.
This week is my 3rd week of trying to be as silence as possible with him. The only time I have tried to speak to him, is in front of his children as I want the living environment to still be a nice place for them, but even then it has just been things like “Oh Mike I’ve transferred you some bills money”, “Do you mind if I shut the balcony door” etc etc and I have tried not to spend too much time with them in the living room, just enough so they know I’m not in anyway mad at the children.
Yesterday was particularly difficult to not speak as his daughter confided in me about being bullied at school, she had pretended to be ill to have time off and asked me not to tell her dad. I persuaded her that her dad did need to know and we told him together, however his only response was brief. Simply he said not to worry and that she should go to school tomorrow, he then left me alone to speak to her about it. He thanked me this morning for everything I did last night.
I'm libra and he's Aquarius. What are everyone's thoughts on this? Do aqua men usually change their mind? Everyone of my friends are so shocked because he seemed so in love with me. Is there anything I can do to try and meant the relationship?
It's hard on him going through the divorce process while involved in a relationship with someone else. I know when I divorced I really needed to be alone to heal even though I had left a very unhappy marriage. Also I wasn't ready to get serious about someone else too soon and wanted a chance to date around first to make sure I ended up with the right partner. I think your Aqua is probably feeling that he moved too fast getting into a new relationship so soon, has regrets, still processing what happened in his marriage and wants to be alone for a while.
this is what I don't like about all that.
"He has been like a different person the past month, sometimes cruel and not the loving, kind man I fell in love with"
if he's not even the man you loved, you really want to work on that relationship? the "man you fell in love with" lasted a couple of months, less than most infatuations, I think you're seeing the TRUE man behind that lovely mask
"He has been like a different person the past month, sometimes cruel and not the loving, kind man I fell in love with"
if he's not even the man you loved, you really want to work on that relationship? the "man you fell in love with" lasted a couple of months, less than most infatuations, I think you're seeing the TRUE man behind that lovely mask
🤨
It seems from where I sit that he used you for a place to land. Imo you shoulda waited till he had finalized his divorce before moving him in.
Live and learn.
Live and learn.
....and remember his children will always come before you, well if he's a decent man, they will...if they don't I'd not rate him at all ...
Posted by ACsquareplutoThanks for your advice. I am not proud of the fact I looked through his phone at all, however at the time I felt so anxious that he was still in love with his ex that I felt that was my only way of finding out if what he told me was true. I do not condone what I did, however at the time it did really settle my mind.
Snooping through his phone and his bedside table is unacceptable. I wouldn't read into anything you consider "hope" as anything more than platonic interest. Be good to his children selflessly, not without expectation that he will repay you by being official with you. Attempts to make him jealous might diminish his respect for you. All you can do is act on love with no expectations. Don't know if he'll surprise you with a change of heart, but if you treat him with respect the future should be positive even if your relationship is only platonic.
No shade intended: I made similar mistakes with an aqua mercury-Mars who didn't return.
I am acting selflessly with his kids, and would never, ever try to use them. I've even stuck up for him when speaking to his daughter and told her that this break up is best for both of us (as she was blaming her Dad a lot and I didn't want that)
No judgements on snooping I would have done the same. Oh well.
But I wouldn’t bank on him changing back to the facade he presented in the beginning. Get him out your space for your piece of mind.
But I wouldn’t bank on him changing back to the facade he presented in the beginning. Get him out your space for your piece of mind.
Mentioning ed was a bad move. Making aquas jealous to get a positive reaction does the complete opposite. You pushed him away even further.
Posted by libra77777Posted by ACsquareplutoThanks for your advice. I am not proud of the fact I looked through his phone at all, however at the time I felt so anxious that he was still in love with his ex that I felt that was my only way of finding out if what he told me was true. I do not condone what I did, however at the time it did really settle my mind.
Snooping through his phone and his bedside table is unacceptable. I wouldn't read into anything you consider "hope" as anything more than platonic interest. Be good to his children selflessly, not without expectation that he will repay you by being official with you. Attempts to make him jealous might diminish his respect for you. All you can do is act on love with no expectations. Don't know if he'll surprise you with a change of heart, but if you treat him with respect the future should be positive even if your relationship is only platonic.
No shade intended: I made similar mistakes with an aqua mercury-Mars who didn't return.
I am acting selflessly with his kids, and would never, ever try to use them. I've even stuck up for him when speaking to his daughter and told her that this break up is best for both of us (as she was blaming her Dad a lot and I didn't want that)click to expand
Aqua man is never stupid. He could sense that u didn’t really trust him ..’I also think u made it too easy for him. And him moving into ur house makes him lose his masculine side. I feel libra does toooo much for their romantic interests.. you made it all too easy for him. Being nice is good but not all the time. You need to mix things up a bit with Aquarius. If there’s nothing else to figure out they will get bored,( think they lose attraction ) coz they r bored and move elsewhere who offer them more challenge.... anyway, these are my two cents....
Very nice of you to think about his children.
I think he just rushed into your relationship and he is regretting it.
Just do what you are doing, but think about your self and move on.
If is meant to be he will come back to you, but right now you just have to let him be and figure what he wants by himself. Anything you do to try to bring him back will backfire because he’s in a dark place right now.
Do your life and don’t try to make him jealous or play any games.
I think he just rushed into your relationship and he is regretting it.
Just do what you are doing, but think about your self and move on.
If is meant to be he will come back to you, but right now you just have to let him be and figure what he wants by himself. Anything you do to try to bring him back will backfire because he’s in a dark place right now.
Do your life and don’t try to make him jealous or play any games.
Posted by JanMayMarryI look at it like Checks and balances. In the words of Jayz “ no disrespect to you, gotta make sure your word is true”Posted by bkbella86LooL! I snoop on my Aqua's phone as well cos' he did the same thing on mine, but I couldn't find anything to create a chaos...neither did he.
No judgements on snooping I would have done the same. Oh well.
But I wouldn’t bank on him changing back to the facade he presented in the beginning. Get him out your space for your piece of mind.
I need to find something now. Oh my! Me and my annoying mind!click to expand
Posted by saweetz1988Posted by libra77777Posted by ACsquareplutoThanks for your advice. I am not proud of the fact I looked through his phone at all, however at the time I felt so anxious that he was still in love with his ex that I felt that was my only way of finding out if what he told me was true. I do not condone what I did, however at the time it did really settle my mind.
Snooping through his phone and his bedside table is unacceptable. I wouldn't read into anything you consider "hope" as anything more than platonic interest. Be good to his children selflessly, not without expectation that he will repay you by being official with you. Attempts to make him jealous might diminish his respect for you. All you can do is act on love with no expectations. Don't know if he'll surprise you with a change of heart, but if you treat him with respect the future should be positive even if your relationship is only platonic.
No shade intended: I made similar mistakes with an aqua mercury-Mars who didn't return.
I am acting selflessly with his kids, and would never, ever try to use them. I've even stuck up for him when speaking to his daughter and told her that this break up is best for both of us (as she was blaming her Dad a lot and I didn't want that)
Aqua man is never stupid. He could sense that u didn’t really trust him ..’I also think u made it too easy for him. And him moving into ur house makes him lose his masculine side. I feel libra does toooo much for their romantic interests.. you made it all too easy for him. Being nice is good but not all the time. You need to mix things up a bit with Aquarius. If there’s nothing else to figure out they will get bored,( think they lose attraction ) coz they r bored and move elsewhere who offer them more challenge.... anyway, these are my two cents....click to expand
I was thinking the same thing. She’s making it wayyy to easy for him. And going out on top of that, he’s going to start loosing respect big time. I would put my foot down, it’s your house....
Posted by JanMayMarryExactly.Posted by bkbella86Yeah, I mean if we are already together as one, there shouldn't be any secrets. We should be transparent, no?Posted by JanMayMarryI look at it like Checks and balances. In the words of Jayz “ no disrespect to you, gotta make sure your word is true”Posted by bkbella86LooL! I snoop on my Aqua's phone as well cos' he did the same thing on mine, but I couldn't find anything to create a chaos...neither did he.
No judgements on snooping I would have done the same. Oh well.
But I wouldn’t bank on him changing back to the facade he presented in the beginning. Get him out your space for your piece of mind.
I need to find something now. Oh my! Me and my annoying mind!
For me, I don't have issue for my man to check on me because I am sure I have no shit I'm hiding. So...I expect the same thang.
I agree with your sentiments.click to expand
Posted by Antiochusyeah that part was not good. (going through someone's phone and snooping)
Going through someones phone without their permission is never acceptable.
Your stoty gives the impression that there was something that upset or put him off balance but I have no idea what that could have been unless he knew that you snooped through his phone since that could be a reason.
The only chance is to just let him do whatever he has to do while you do what you have to do.
i saw that part and eehhh.
our advice, that is really helpful, and I agree with your comments.Posted by saweetz1988Posted by libra77777Posted by ACsquareplutoThanks for your advice. I am not proud of the fact I looked through his phone at all, however at the time I felt so anxious that he was still in love with his ex that I felt that was my only way of finding out if what he told me was true. I do not condone what I did, however at the time it did really settle my mind.
Snooping through his phone and his bedside table is unacceptable. I wouldn't read into anything you consider "hope" as anything more than platonic interest. Be good to his children selflessly, not without expectation that he will repay you by being official with you. Attempts to make him jealous might diminish his respect for you. All you can do is act on love with no expectations. Don't know if he'll surprise you with a change of heart, but if you treat him with respect the future should be positive even if your relationship is only platonic.
No shade intended: I made similar mistakes with an aqua mercury-Mars who didn't return.
I am acting selflessly with his kids, and would never, ever try to use them. I've even stuck up for him when speaking to his daughter and told her that this break up is best for both of us (as she was blaming her Dad a lot and I didn't want that)
Aqua man is never stupid. He could sense that u didn’t really trust him ..’I also think u made it too easy for him. And him moving into ur house makes him lose his masculine side. I feel libra does toooo much for their romantic interests.. you made it all too easy for him. Being nice is good but not all the time. You need to mix things up a bit with Aquarius. If there’s nothing else to figure out they will get bored,( think they lose attraction ) coz they r bored and move elsewhere who offer them more challenge.... anyway, these are my two cents....click to expand
Posted by pinkbird03Thanks for your reply. I am also regretting this.
Mentioning ed was a bad move. Making aquas jealous to get a positive reaction does the complete opposite. You pushed him away even further.
Posted by pisceswoman123Thank you. Yes, I really agree - it's just so hard. He came into my bedroom at midnight last night and when I asked him why he kept making stupid excuses about wanting to speak about his daughter. I said to him, just tell the truth, you didn't come in at midnight to discuss her and he's apologised today and said he came in to check whether I was still out or whether I was in bed and he's unsure why he did it or why it would even matter.
Very nice of you to think about his children.
I think he just rushed into your relationship and he is regretting it.
Just do what you are doing, but think about your self and move on.
If is meant to be he will come back to you, but right now you just have to let him be and figure what he wants by himself. Anything you do to try to bring him back will backfire because he’s in a dark place right now.
Do your life and don’t try to make him jealous or play any games.
I kind of feel that if he's wondered where I am, then he must still care and maybe there is hope. I said 'I don't want to argue, just don't come in my room at that time again, let's forget it even happened and move on'
He was really grateful that I didn't let it escalate, but I'm just unsure as to whether I'm being too nice about everything.
Posted by libra77777Posted by pisceswoman123Thank you. Yes, I really agree - it's just so hard. He came into my bedroom at midnight last night and when I asked him why he kept making stupid excuses about wanting to speak about his daughter. I said to him, just tell the truth, you didn't come in at midnight to discuss her and he's apologised today and said he came in to check whether I was still out or whether I was in bed and he's unsure why he did it or why it would even matter.
Very nice of you to think about his children.
I think he just rushed into your relationship and he is regretting it.
Just do what you are doing, but think about your self and move on.
If is meant to be he will come back to you, but right now you just have to let him be and figure what he wants by himself. Anything you do to try to bring him back will backfire because he’s in a dark place right now.
Do your life and don’t try to make him jealous or play any games.
I kind of feel that if he's wondered where I am, then he must still care and maybe there is hope. I said 'I don't want to argue, just don't come in my room at that time again, let's forget it even happened and move on'
He was really grateful that I didn't let it escalate, but I'm just unsure as to whether I'm being too nice about everything.click to expand
Tell him he can call you if he’s wondering where you are.... this is the way i see it...
Look if you’re going to open your house to him and the kids then he can’t be going back and forth. It’s not fair for you or the kids. They need a stable environment and you acting like everything is okay between you two isn’t helping at ALL, if anything it’s making things worse and more confusing. He’s the one bringing around his kids and you have accepted them as your own, put your foot down. That kind of behavior where he’s not really speaking isn’t acceptable.
Posted by MoonshineLeoI agree with this. Dude knew he wasn't ready to jump into a new relationship deep down but it's very selfish and rash to drag the kids into this and then keep them in this awkward position. It's gotta be hard enough dealing with the separation of their parents then this smh. Plus I don't like his handling of his daughter being bullied. Not saying he's a bad father just that the whole decision seems immature for a parent.Posted by libra77777Posted by pisceswoman123Thank you. Yes, I really agree - it's just so hard. He came into my bedroom at midnight last night and when I asked him why he kept making stupid excuses about wanting to speak about his daughter. I said to him, just tell the truth, you didn't come in at midnight to discuss her and he's apologised today and said he came in to check whether I was still out or whether I was in bed and he's unsure why he did it or why it would even matter.
Very nice of you to think about his children.
I think he just rushed into your relationship and he is regretting it.
Just do what you are doing, but think about your self and move on.
If is meant to be he will come back to you, but right now you just have to let him be and figure what he wants by himself. Anything you do to try to bring him back will backfire because he’s in a dark place right now.
Do your life and don’t try to make him jealous or play any games.
I kind of feel that if he's wondered where I am, then he must still care and maybe there is hope. I said 'I don't want to argue, just don't come in my room at that time again, let's forget it even happened and move on'
He was really grateful that I didn't let it escalate, but I'm just unsure as to whether I'm being too nice about everything.
Tell him he can call you if he’s wondering where you are.... this is the way i see it...
Look if you’re going to open your house to him and the kids then he can’t be going back and forth. It’s not fair for you or the kids. They need a stable environment and you acting like everything is okay between you two isn’t helping at ALL, if anything it’s making things worse and more confusing. He’s the one bringing around his kids and you have accepted them as your own, put your foot down. That kind of behavior where he’s not really speaking isn’t acceptable.click to expand
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