getting to know an aqua man...
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by pinkleopard on Sunday, October 29, 2006 and has 12 replies.
Hi guys, I am new to the board. Been reading many of the posts...fascinating!
Anyway, a little background to begin. I am a Cancer in a long distance relationship with an aqua man. It is fairly new...a couple months. He contacted me constantly for a few weeks. And then everything got less and less frequent. I would call or email, sometimes first, sometimes a reply. He was always happy to hear from me. I never hound him, only call if he asks me to. This is the longest we have gone w/out speaking. I sent him an email 4 days ago...nothing personal in the email at all. No response. I haven't called and I know he was away most of the weekend.
So my questions begin...
When, and if, he calls, do I just blow off that he never called and just be happy to hear from him? I really don't mind. I mind more that the consistency has changed. He set the tone in the relationship, so I followed. I can back off, I just think its a little strange to be so gung ho and then presto! dissappearing act.
I know aquas like debate, but not conflict. And I know this guy likes an assertive woman who stands up for herself. I am a little more of a pushover...Cancer in me. But I guess sometimes its not worth a fight, not that I necessarily let people walk all over me. But I can be combative and tough. So, with an aqua man, what can I be tough about? I don't want to tip the scales too much. I know I already take things way more seriously, but I like the idea of speaking my mind with him.
So this relationship to me is really just for fun on the side. I want to date other guys. I don't care who he sees. Of course I will be a little jealous, but mostly, I just want him in my life. As a friend and lover occasionally, whatever. I would love to talk to him a couple times a week and meet up a few times a year. So, do I tell him this? Is this too much to reveal? It seems like it would be a perfect setup for him with no committment at all. I think I am seriously most interested in him as a friend...and after reading this board I am scared of even losing that. So in a sense I would like the security of knowing our future a bit, without the committment.
Why do I like this aqua? He is teaching me a ton about self control and not letting my emotions rule me. And this is HUGE for a Cancer. Thanks guys and let the replies begin!!
Anyway, a little background to begin. I am a Cancer in a long distance relationship with an aqua man. It is fairly new...a couple months. He contacted me constantly for a few weeks. And then everything got less and less frequent. I would call or email, sometimes first, sometimes a reply. He was always happy to hear from me. I never hound him, only call if he asks me to. This is the longest we have gone w/out speaking. I sent him an email 4 days ago...nothing personal in the email at all. No response. I haven't called and I know he was away most of the weekend.
So my questions begin...
When, and if, he calls, do I just blow off that he never called and just be happy to hear from him? I really don't mind. I mind more that the consistency has changed. He set the tone in the relationship, so I followed. I can back off, I just think its a little strange to be so gung ho and then presto! dissappearing act.
I know aquas like debate, but not conflict. And I know this guy likes an assertive woman who stands up for herself. I am a little more of a pushover...Cancer in me. But I guess sometimes its not worth a fight, not that I necessarily let people walk all over me. But I can be combative and tough. So, with an aqua man, what can I be tough about? I don't want to tip the scales too much. I know I already take things way more seriously, but I like the idea of speaking my mind with him.
So this relationship to me is really just for fun on the side. I want to date other guys. I don't care who he sees. Of course I will be a little jealous, but mostly, I just want him in my life. As a friend and lover occasionally, whatever. I would love to talk to him a couple times a week and meet up a few times a year. So, do I tell him this? Is this too much to reveal? It seems like it would be a perfect setup for him with no committment at all. I think I am seriously most interested in him as a friend...and after reading this board I am scared of even losing that. So in a sense I would like the security of knowing our future a bit, without the committment.
Why do I like this aqua? He is teaching me a ton about self control and not letting my emotions rule me. And this is HUGE for a Cancer. Thanks guys and let the replies begin!!
"But I guess sometimes its not worth a fight" You're right. It's not worth the fight. Especially since it sounds like you and he haven't made the decision to be exclusive.
"So this relationship to me is really just for fun on the side. I want to date other guys. I don't care who he sees. " So what's exactly your dilemma if you want to see other people and you don't care who he sees? You say he's a long-distance thing. Are you seeing others locally? He possibly could already be doing the same thing, hence the delay or infrequency of emails. It's a possibly, not a certainty.
You said that it would be a perfect set up for for him to have no committment to you to be an occasional lover, but then you contradict your comment about not being a pushover, because it sounds to me you are giving in to him just to keep him around. If you want to just be friends with him, then speak up and tell him that. If you want more from him, chances are you won't get more than friendship anyway.
"So this relationship to me is really just for fun on the side. I want to date other guys. I don't care who he sees. " So what's exactly your dilemma if you want to see other people and you don't care who he sees? You say he's a long-distance thing. Are you seeing others locally? He possibly could already be doing the same thing, hence the delay or infrequency of emails. It's a possibly, not a certainty.
You said that it would be a perfect set up for for him to have no committment to you to be an occasional lover, but then you contradict your comment about not being a pushover, because it sounds to me you are giving in to him just to keep him around. If you want to just be friends with him, then speak up and tell him that. If you want more from him, chances are you won't get more than friendship anyway.
hey pinkleopard...i am a cancer who has been dating an aqua on and off for 2 1/2 years. if you have any questions, feel free to ask...but most of your questions can probably be answered just by looking at most of the aqua posts on here!
"Why do I like this aqua? He is teaching me a ton about self control and not letting my emotions rule me. And this is HUGE for a Cancer"
-YES!!! this is why i think aqua/cancer is a great match...b/c ultimately it is a learning experience and a great deal can be gained from it. but, it does take a lot of patience, and compromising in the process...
-YES!!! this is why i think aqua/cancer is a great match...b/c ultimately it is a learning experience and a great deal can be gained from it. but, it does take a lot of patience, and compromising in the process...
My mother is a cancer and so is my sister (one of them) and Cancers have the purest hearts but they let other people's judgment cause such an emotional dispair that as an aqua it boths annoys me and strengthens me. I will never be as kind or as selfless as my mother because sometimes her good hearted nature makes no logical sense whatsoever and being cautious can interfere. I respect how well y'all just see with your heart. (According to astrology I'm supposed to marry a cancer man, but since this is a new found discovery of descendant houses, I never found one worth my time.)
I think that cancer and aquarius can learn to respect and love each other, but then I'm speaking of my sister and my mother who I love very much. Cancers are always remembering the little details and are happy with small gestures. I'm often so busy that I could never express the emotional happiness that my sister and mother can.
I can see why an aqua man would be drawn to the cancer woman. I have a hard time picturing myself as an aqua female ever having the emotional strength to be with a cancer man but it could be that I just never met him yet. The opposite of cancer, a capricorn man fascinates me endlessly as I can't figure him out or why I act in certain ways when I'm around him, but that's a different story.
I wish you cancer women luck in connecting with the aqua males.
I think that cancer and aquarius can learn to respect and love each other, but then I'm speaking of my sister and my mother who I love very much. Cancers are always remembering the little details and are happy with small gestures. I'm often so busy that I could never express the emotional happiness that my sister and mother can.
I can see why an aqua man would be drawn to the cancer woman. I have a hard time picturing myself as an aqua female ever having the emotional strength to be with a cancer man but it could be that I just never met him yet. The opposite of cancer, a capricorn man fascinates me endlessly as I can't figure him out or why I act in certain ways when I'm around him, but that's a different story.
I wish you cancer women luck in connecting with the aqua males.
duh... my recommendation to y'all would simply be yourself and be open and heartfelt. It's what I recognize as my mother and sister's greatest strength. I'm not saying be needy or anything with the guy, but show your emotional strength and heart.
oh you speak the truth ladyvie...thats so true about cancers and how I react to them.
yes, ladyvie...i have shown my aqua that my heart is open to him...and i truly think that i am the first girl in his life to have done that. i believe that i am the only girl, out of all the girls he has had serious relationships with, to have touched his heart in a very special way and show him what unconditional love is like.
it has been tough b/c we are such different creatures who think, feel, and act completely different in just about every situation...but i think we have deeply frown as individuals over the time we have spent together. and i think that i have taught him the act of true love...or at least i hope that i have!
it has been tough b/c we are such different creatures who think, feel, and act completely different in just about every situation...but i think we have deeply frown as individuals over the time we have spent together. and i think that i have taught him the act of true love...or at least i hope that i have!
*grown
Then yeah... I know that what aggravates me about my mother and sister is the never ending 'woe is me' emotions that can be so overwhelming. As a little girl I wanted to beat that out of my baby sister with her constant neediness when I just wanted to see what was going on with the world. But as we grew older, I realized that she has more heart than I do, like my mother, and they keep us all connected no matter how far apart we become. She loves with her whole heart, but she takes everything so personally that it can be a negative. But please excuse my aquarian standoffishness because I also wish that I was more like my mother and sister.
If you are being open and letting your genuine heart show then seriously who can walk away from that? He would be a fool to lose the one person whose heart is pure y'know? (Cancer women have such power that I am a bit jealous.)
If you are being open and letting your genuine heart show then seriously who can walk away from that? He would be a fool to lose the one person whose heart is pure y'know? (Cancer women have such power that I am a bit jealous.)
well, i don't know...he has already walked away from me once before. but i think this time around he is much more in touch with his feelings for me, and i think he has come to the realization that he cannot ignore his heart any longer...
All I can say is that my father (a judgmental hardheaded scorpio) says that it's his job from letting people hurt my mother which makes my mother light up like an idiot (when I don't think my own father realizes that it's his own judgmental nature that can cause my mom stress and doubt, until he apologizes for it.) He wants to protect my mother and believes she's the most innocent person alive because she is all heart. Guys often treat my sister the same way when I'm often the friendly good natured kind of girl.
The aqua guy needs to face up to the fact that he wants to protect your heart forever. It's a scary thing for us to be face with so much emotion, but if you are strong then he's not going to walk away forever. Cancers just have to believe in themselves and your worth and then it's so darn easy for you. Tell him that you want to trust in him, but let him earn it. It will take some time for a guy to figure out that he wants that, but you know what you have it girl.
The aqua guy needs to face up to the fact that he wants to protect your heart forever. It's a scary thing for us to be face with so much emotion, but if you are strong then he's not going to walk away forever. Cancers just have to believe in themselves and your worth and then it's so darn easy for you. Tell him that you want to trust in him, but let him earn it. It will take some time for a guy to figure out that he wants that, but you know what you have it girl.
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