honesty over diplomacy?
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by lisabethur8 on Tuesday, October 31, 2017 and has 20 replies.
would you prefer if people were honest with you about topics, even if it hurts your feelings? or about your character flaws, or your choices ect.
or if they are nicey nicey about it? which do you prefer? How much does it hurt you so much that you'd prefer diplomacy?
https://www.speakingtree.in/article/honesty-and-diplomacy
We have always been taught that honesty is the best policy, and that to lie is a bad thing to do. As we grow older, we realise that in many situations it is a good idea to keep quiet or, better still, be diplomatic and tactfully handle sensitive issues. The line dividing honesty and diplomacy is a thin one. We have to be careful in deciding when to be honest and when to be at our diplomatic best. We also have to decide whether we should be absolutely candid, or use the truth as a matter of convenience.
Our relationships demand complete honesty, or else, we get into trouble.In a household, for instance, the oldest member Suresh was quite diplomatic in commenting on the new cooks unpalatable creations. Whatever he would cook, the cook would always be told that the food was not bad. Suresh would avoid criticising the cook for the mediocre food he dished out. The situation worsened to a point when what was cooked was almost inedible. Suresh could not take it anymore and screamed at the cook for serving such bad-tasting food. The cook was taken aback. From that day onwards, everything that Suresh had diplomatically papered over started to show huge cracks. Daily fights and arguments became the order of the day and, one fine day, the cook simply left.
Therefore, diplomacy or lack of honesty can lead to deterioration in our relationships. Before you decide to be totally frank, you must carefully analyse all consequences of your actions. While life needs a good mix of honesty and diplomacy, when to be honest and when to be diplomatic is a tough individual choice. Whatever we do must make us comfortable, peaceful and happy. An honest person will feel frustrated and restless when forced to be diplomatic against his will, while a diplomatic one will get highly stressed at the thought of speaking the plain truth. How to react in a situation also depends on what is at stake. If you want to be honest and speak your mind against your boss, you better be prepared to lose your job. If you tell your friend what you hate about him, it might end your friendship. Once you are ready to accept the consequences without regret or remorse, then you can be honest.
or if they are nicey nicey about it? which do you prefer? How much does it hurt you so much that you'd prefer diplomacy?
https://www.speakingtree.in/article/honesty-and-diplomacy
We have always been taught that honesty is the best policy, and that to lie is a bad thing to do. As we grow older, we realise that in many situations it is a good idea to keep quiet or, better still, be diplomatic and tactfully handle sensitive issues. The line dividing honesty and diplomacy is a thin one. We have to be careful in deciding when to be honest and when to be at our diplomatic best. We also have to decide whether we should be absolutely candid, or use the truth as a matter of convenience.
Our relationships demand complete honesty, or else, we get into trouble.In a household, for instance, the oldest member Suresh was quite diplomatic in commenting on the new cooks unpalatable creations. Whatever he would cook, the cook would always be told that the food was not bad. Suresh would avoid criticising the cook for the mediocre food he dished out. The situation worsened to a point when what was cooked was almost inedible. Suresh could not take it anymore and screamed at the cook for serving such bad-tasting food. The cook was taken aback. From that day onwards, everything that Suresh had diplomatically papered over started to show huge cracks. Daily fights and arguments became the order of the day and, one fine day, the cook simply left.
Therefore, diplomacy or lack of honesty can lead to deterioration in our relationships. Before you decide to be totally frank, you must carefully analyse all consequences of your actions. While life needs a good mix of honesty and diplomacy, when to be honest and when to be diplomatic is a tough individual choice. Whatever we do must make us comfortable, peaceful and happy. An honest person will feel frustrated and restless when forced to be diplomatic against his will, while a diplomatic one will get highly stressed at the thought of speaking the plain truth. How to react in a situation also depends on what is at stake. If you want to be honest and speak your mind against your boss, you better be prepared to lose your job. If you tell your friend what you hate about him, it might end your friendship. Once you are ready to accept the consequences without regret or remorse, then you can be honest.
Honesty hands down, even if it hurts. Hopefully I can learn from it to grow and improve. lol I have actually asked my friends what I do or say that might have offended them, I know my personality, I know I piss people off, what I don't know is what exactly it is I have done or not done, unless people are willing to tell me so I can work on that and hopefully correct it.
I find too many people are worried about hurting others so they don't speak up or they side step the real issues or blame it on a bad day, or bad mood. Not saying I haven't done the same to keep the peace, but sometimes it's enough to make you go WTF. That's when I typically say fuck it and make waves as I call it. I have lost friends over this, but that brings up another point, where they really friends if they cant handle what I have to say? I usually have those I call friend in my life because I respect what they have to say even if I don't agree with them. but if I don't get the same in return? Nawww, fuck that, they aren't friends.
I can feel or sense when others are being dishonest in what they are saying or when or if they are upset with me or perhaps others around, the lack of response sometimes is enough alone to confirm things. The walking on eggshells to not make waves or hurt folks feelings.. ignoring shit does not make it go away.
Tactfully honest is my thing. (Sometimes not so tactful, but hey , work in progress)
I find too many people are worried about hurting others so they don't speak up or they side step the real issues or blame it on a bad day, or bad mood. Not saying I haven't done the same to keep the peace, but sometimes it's enough to make you go WTF. That's when I typically say fuck it and make waves as I call it. I have lost friends over this, but that brings up another point, where they really friends if they cant handle what I have to say? I usually have those I call friend in my life because I respect what they have to say even if I don't agree with them. but if I don't get the same in return? Nawww, fuck that, they aren't friends.
I can feel or sense when others are being dishonest in what they are saying or when or if they are upset with me or perhaps others around, the lack of response sometimes is enough alone to confirm things. The walking on eggshells to not make waves or hurt folks feelings.. ignoring shit does not make it go away.
Tactfully honest is my thing. (Sometimes not so tactful, but hey , work in progress)
Honesty ofcourse.
Being diplomatic carries a certain amount of fakeness with it. No bueno.
There are ofcourse exceptions when being diplomatic nets you capital of this and that kind but overall this is my rule of thumb.
Being diplomatic carries a certain amount of fakeness with it. No bueno.
There are ofcourse exceptions when being diplomatic nets you capital of this and that kind but overall this is my rule of thumb.
Too often people mistake brown nosing for diplomacy. If someone insults you and you ignore it for your OWN benefit or they do bad things and you ignore it for YOUR OWN benefit that is brown nosing and it's cowardly.
If you are being careful with words to build relations on behalf of a good cause or your country or another party. THAT is diplomacy.
My cousin is an advocate for terminally ill patients and constantly takes lip ...but she takes it for a higher purpose. That is being diplomatic.
I know another person who will literally let anyone he perceives to have influence to say shit about him...and sucks up to scum. But if you are a nice person with nothing to offer but that he will treat them like dirt. He will never be nice for no reason. THAT is a brown noser.
If you are being careful with words to build relations on behalf of a good cause or your country or another party. THAT is diplomacy.
My cousin is an advocate for terminally ill patients and constantly takes lip ...but she takes it for a higher purpose. That is being diplomatic.
I know another person who will literally let anyone he perceives to have influence to say shit about him...and sucks up to scum. But if you are a nice person with nothing to offer but that he will treat them like dirt. He will never be nice for no reason. THAT is a brown noser.
I prefer honesty.
Posted by justagirli prefer honesty in my relationships all the way.
Honesty hands down, even if it hurts. Hopefully I can learn from it to grow and improve. lol I have actually asked my friends what I do or say that might have offended them, I know my personality, I know I piss people off, what I don't know is what exactly it is I have done or not done, unless people are willing to tell me so I can work on that and hopefully correct it.
I find too many people are worried about hurting others so they don't speak up or they side step the real issues or blame it on a bad day, or bad mood. Not saying I haven't done the same to keep the peace, but sometimes it's enough to make you go WTF. That's when I typically say fuck it and make waves as I call it. I have lost friends over this, but that brings up another point, where they really friends if they cant handle what I have to say? I usually have those I call friend in my life because I respect what they have to say even if I don't agree with them. but if I don't get the same in return? Nawww, fuck that, they aren't friends.
I can feel or sense when others are being dishonest in what they are saying or when or if they are upset with me or perhaps others around, the lack of response sometimes is enough alone to confirm things. The walking on eggshells to not make waves or hurt folks feelings.. ignoring shit does not make it go away.
Tactfully honest is my thing. (Sometimes not so tactful, but hey , work in progress)
i married a man who loves nothing but. i really really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. it's so wonderful to be with that imo. i dont like things unresolved.
Posted by LittleFairyif you're gonna be a diplomatic, such as a president, or a leader then you have to be diplomatic for international /national relationships.
Too often people mistake brown nosing for diplomacy. If someone insults you and you ignore it for your OWN benefit or they do bad things and you ignore it for YOUR OWN benefit that is brown nosing and it's cowardly.
If you are being careful with words to build relations on behalf of a good cause or your country or another party. THAT is diplomacy.
My cousin is an advocate for terminally ill patients and constantly takes lip ...but she takes it for a higher purpose. That is being diplomatic.
I know another person who will literally let anyone he perceives to have influence to say shit about him...and sucks up to scum. But if you are a nice person with nothing to offer but that he will treat them like dirt. He will never be nice for no reason. THAT is a brown noser.
you catch more flies with honey saying.
I would say honesty but in a diplomatic way. You can tell harsh truths without being so blunt and hurtful
You reek fella = bad
I dont want to say it in front of everybody but please buy a deodorant.
like trump. however sometimes bluntness is good to wake somebody up. I heard of a doctor who said to his patient: You either follow my prescriptions or you will be a dead fucker in two years and your children will grow up without their father. Unfortunately many people perceive diplomacy as weakness.
Posted by Parkourlertrump can't be a diplomatic to save his life. smh.
I would say honesty but in a diplomatic way. You can tell harsh truths without being so blunt and hurtful
You reek fella = bad
I dont want to say it in front of everybody but please buy a deodorant.
like trump. however sometimes bluntness is good to wake somebody up. I heard of a doctor who said to his patient: You either follow my prescriptions or you will be a dead fucker in two years and your children will grow up without their father. Unfortunately many people perceive diplomacy as weakness.
his position as president of U.S. is just not for him. because his mouth is running all the time.
diplomacy should be for leaders that need to deal with international /other cultures.
i think this is his way, or way of path that he wants to see/learn the world by taking this position.
just yesterday my man told me that there was something in the news about Trump and one of his advisors or those in his office connected to Russia espionage.?? wtf??
if he keeps this up, he'll be kicked out of office.
edit
i was talking more about personal relationships. lol
i dont want a man who is cruel to me though but he is always honest and resolves issues easily and doesn't shy away about it. we confront them.
I’ve always been taught by my mum not to lie but having a Gemini for a mother I understand that the truth is elastic because we all have our truths and that knowledge is power and having the wisdom to know when and when to hold back that power can alter your reality for good or for bad.
The trait I look for in everyone is transparency, it’s a true test of humanity is being completely open and vulnerable is what I look for in awesome people not so much the truth.
The trait I look for in everyone is transparency, it’s a true test of humanity is being completely open and vulnerable is what I look for in awesome people not so much the truth.
Signed Up: Oct 25, 2017
Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 11
Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 11
My Aqua broke up with me 2 weeks ago for 2nd time and once again over text and without giving an explanation. I tried to get her to explain it to me but she kept saying that wrong words are coming out, kept changing subject to other things (ie. saying good qualities of me, talking about her past relationships with nice guys, definition of being cruel, etc). I wanted her to be honest and direct but she couldnt. I did tell her that she cant even face me to say what's going on and she said she can see me if I wanted. I sent her a text taking her up on her offer but she never responded after that. Next day I had an accident and my phone died and right now with a loaner phone I don't even have her phone number anymore.
I plan on calling her after I get her number again and asking for us to meet face to face.
I plan on calling her after I get her number again and asking for us to meet face to face.
Posted by HopelessRomantic2017Honestly, as an Aqua we know we can handle the truth no matter how bad it hurts but we don't like conflict. So the truth will hurt you and she knows and can't take your reaction. Nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. Only if you piss her off or promise you will and can take the truth at face value without reacting angry or emotional will you get the truth. I'm not one to bite my tongue but I will if I know what I have to say will destroy you. 9/10 if you admit what you see as flaws and faults she may agree and elaborate if it's a hard truth. We are not weirded out about the truths, we're weirded out by your reaction to the truth because hey... we love and take it why not you?
My Aqua broke up with me 2 weeks ago for 2nd time and once again over text and without giving an explanation. I tried to get her to explain it to me but she kept saying that wrong words are coming out, kept changing subject to other things (ie. saying good qualities of me, talking about her past relationships with nice guys, definition of being cruel, etc). I wanted her to be honest and direct but she couldnt. I did tell her that she cant even face me to say what's going on and she said she can see me if I wanted. I sent her a text taking her up on her offer but she never responded after that. Next day I had an accident and my phone died and right now with a loaner phone I don't even have her phone number anymore.
I plan on calling her after I get her number again and asking for us to meet face to face.
i am married to a man who doesn't shy from conflict.
if i ask him a question he will tell me straight.
no getting angry over confrontation.
if i ask him a question he will tell me straight.
no getting angry over confrontation.
Honesty. I don't trust diplomatic individuals.
@housecleaning agrees.
@housecleaning agrees.
Screw diplomacy. That ain't our thing.
Honesty is only acceptable when it's me telling other people lol!
Posted by LibWmanhouseclenaing?
Honesty. I don't trust diplomatic individuals.
@housecleaning agrees.
Posted by Soulalot of you leo men on this site sound like libra men (diplomacy)
Honesty is only acceptable when it's me telling other people lol!
Posted by lisabethur8Housecleaning is bae. He will know this when he orders for the injunction.Posted by LibWmanhouseclenaing?
Honesty. I don't trust diplomatic individuals.
@housecleaning agrees.click to expand
Posted by shakedownExactly 👍🏻Posted by Dead_KermitWow. Well said.
Being diplomatic doesn't exclude being honest about something. It may just mean to state things in a way less harsh.
The opposite of honesty is a lie. The opposite of diplomacy is tactless barbarism.click to expand
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