Boriska
@Boriska
12 YearsAquarius
Comments: 0 · Posts: 81 · Topics: 4
How I met and lost my soulmate
We liked same things, shared same outlook on how life should be. He likes sports, so I do. He started open to me more and said things to me, which he didn't tell to others.We couldn't show off in public, so we were just looking into each other eyes when we were around our friends, sometimes gazing more then 10, 20 sec.
We kissed again few times and it was amazing and the chemistry was really strong. I was intrested in him, but kept saying to him, that I known he has many girls and I will not ever sleep with him.
He got my number from my brother and he started to text me few times each week. Firstly I answer his texts just casually and he kept trying to get closer.
Now the bad part I'm not really proud of, I started to want sex with him, because of the connection and very strong chemistry I felt. I was still in another relationship, but for first time in my life I decided to cheat on my boyfriend. I was thinking of one night stand with the guy and expected that the sex wouldn't be something special and then I would end it and would go back to my boyfriend (me and my boyfriend are not together any more, I ended it about month ago).
Anyway, I never thouth sex is something too important, maybe because I never met someone who would please me fully. How wrong was I in my expectations. Our first sex was something, that I can't fully describe, like we known how to please each other without even saying it. He made me come just like that and I have to say I got lost again. The soul connection plus the mind blowing sex, I started catch really strong feelings for him.
I didn't know what to do with it all, with all those feelings and I didn't understand how two people can get lost in each other so quick. I hate this about me, being Aqua, sometimes over analyzing things. I found on web something about astrology and I found out he is GEMINI. Now all the stuff about relationship between Aquarius and Gemini. Everything started to make sense, but it scared me even more and I didn't want to get hurt so I backed off from him. He said ok, but left the back door open for me, if I want to come back.
But at the sometime I think he slowly started to move on, maybe he thouth I just played with him. I changed my mind, but stupid cow, I was telling him I want just sex, because I thouth it is all he wants from me and I didn't want to show all my feelings to him. I was trying to prevent myself from geting hurt.
we done more things together beside the sex, like hangin
We kissed again few times and it was amazing and the chemistry was really strong. I was intrested in him, but kept saying to him, that I known he has many girls and I will not ever sleep with him.
He got my number from my brother and he started to text me few times each week. Firstly I answer his texts just casually and he kept trying to get closer.
Now the bad part I'm not really proud of, I started to want sex with him, because of the connection and very strong chemistry I felt. I was still in another relationship, but for first time in my life I decided to cheat on my boyfriend. I was thinking of one night stand with the guy and expected that the sex wouldn't be something special and then I would end it and would go back to my boyfriend (me and my boyfriend are not together any more, I ended it about month ago).
Anyway, I never thouth sex is something too important, maybe because I never met someone who would please me fully. How wrong was I in my expectations. Our first sex was something, that I can't fully describe, like we known how to please each other without even saying it. He made me come just like that and I have to say I got lost again. The soul connection plus the mind blowing sex, I started catch really strong feelings for him.
I didn't know what to do with it all, with all those feelings and I didn't understand how two people can get lost in each other so quick. I hate this about me, being Aqua, sometimes over analyzing things. I found on web something about astrology and I found out he is GEMINI. Now all the stuff about relationship between Aquarius and Gemini. Everything started to make sense, but it scared me even more and I didn't want to get hurt so I backed off from him. He said ok, but left the back door open for me, if I want to come back.
But at the sometime I think he slowly started to move on, maybe he thouth I just played with him. I changed my mind, but stupid cow, I was telling him I want just sex, because I thouth it is all he wants from me and I didn't want to show all my feelings to him. I was trying to prevent myself from geting hurt.
we done more things together beside the sex, like hangin
But at the sometime I think he slowly started to move on, maybe he thouth I just played with him. I changed my mind, but stupid cow, I was telling him I want just sex, because I thouth it is all he wants from me and I didn't want to show all my feelings to him. I was trying to prevent myself from geting hurt.
we done more things together beside the sex, like hanging out with friends, playing sports, he even played on guitar and singing to me. When I finally tried to tell him how much I like him, in a way only aqua can:-) (very badly), it was too late.
I love him from all my heart, I would die to spend rest of my life with him, but I don't think it ever happen. He has another girl already.
We are still friends, when he speaks to me he always looks directly in my eyes, but it's not there anymore, not so strong how it used to be.
I wish him all best and I will not ever forget about him.
I'm sad that I lost him due my own stupidity, on the other hand it was something I never ever thouth could exist and I'm happy I experience it, maybe TRUE LOVE.
I'm just curious, did you ever feel something like this with someone?
we done more things together beside the sex, like hanging out with friends, playing sports, he even played on guitar and singing to me. When I finally tried to tell him how much I like him, in a way only aqua can:-) (very badly), it was too late.
I love him from all my heart, I would die to spend rest of my life with him, but I don't think it ever happen. He has another girl already.
We are still friends, when he speaks to me he always looks directly in my eyes, but it's not there anymore, not so strong how it used to be.
I wish him all best and I will not ever forget about him.
I'm sad that I lost him due my own stupidity, on the other hand it was something I never ever thouth could exist and I'm happy I experience it, maybe TRUE LOVE.
I'm just curious, did you ever feel something like this with someone?
Ok don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way b/c I mean it all with love!
1. I do believe that 2 people can feel an intense spiritual (or whatever) connection by simply looking at each other. However, add the fact that he's a player in the mix & that players are known to give every girl that special feeling, some how & in some way. Players have a way of making each woman feel like she's the most special girl in the world. The fact that they have mastered "charm" is ultimately what makes them players.
2. When you're not happy in your relationship, it's almost impossible to see others in a true light. Others will either look wayyyyy better OR wayyyy worse than they really are b/c you were just sub-consciously comparing them to your boring partner the whole time. Again, it's a sub-conscious thing, meaning that you may not have even realized that you were doing it. This is the reason they advise against comparing others to your partner. There is NO comparison against someone you've known & shared your life with for 9 years vs. someone you've superficially known for 6 months or even 4 years. NO COMPARISON
3. He never asked you for a commitment. He clearly knows how to ask for it b/c if he didn't, he wouldn't be committed to someone else. He might've liked you but not enough to want to commit to you, thus explains the reason he suddenly lost that spark in his eye for you once he got the goodies for awhile. I'm sure he liked you a little, but I doubt that he was madly in love with you. If he was, he would've waited & not given up on you all b/c you're like most humans in that expressing emotions may not come so easily
If this guy never asked you to be his woman & if he never told you that he loved you, it's NOT b/c you did something wrong. It's b/c he didn't feel the same way about you that you felt about him. He didn't say those things b/c he didn't feel that way. Again, there's a difference b/w liking a woman vs. liking her ENOUGH. Keyword is ENOUGH.
You're looking at this from 1 point of view as if the only explanation for him moving on is b/c you must've messed things up & that him moving on to be with someone else is somehow related to you not giving your all to him. I doubt that. Seems like that's only what you wanna tell yourself b/c it may be too embarrassing or hurt too bad to acknowledge/admit that you might've just fell for/gave all of yourself to a player who was only good when he was getting the benefits.
1. I do believe that 2 people can feel an intense spiritual (or whatever) connection by simply looking at each other. However, add the fact that he's a player in the mix & that players are known to give every girl that special feeling, some how & in some way. Players have a way of making each woman feel like she's the most special girl in the world. The fact that they have mastered "charm" is ultimately what makes them players.
2. When you're not happy in your relationship, it's almost impossible to see others in a true light. Others will either look wayyyyy better OR wayyyy worse than they really are b/c you were just sub-consciously comparing them to your boring partner the whole time. Again, it's a sub-conscious thing, meaning that you may not have even realized that you were doing it. This is the reason they advise against comparing others to your partner. There is NO comparison against someone you've known & shared your life with for 9 years vs. someone you've superficially known for 6 months or even 4 years. NO COMPARISON
3. He never asked you for a commitment. He clearly knows how to ask for it b/c if he didn't, he wouldn't be committed to someone else. He might've liked you but not enough to want to commit to you, thus explains the reason he suddenly lost that spark in his eye for you once he got the goodies for awhile. I'm sure he liked you a little, but I doubt that he was madly in love with you. If he was, he would've waited & not given up on you all b/c you're like most humans in that expressing emotions may not come so easily
If this guy never asked you to be his woman & if he never told you that he loved you, it's NOT b/c you did something wrong. It's b/c he didn't feel the same way about you that you felt about him. He didn't say those things b/c he didn't feel that way. Again, there's a difference b/w liking a woman vs. liking her ENOUGH. Keyword is ENOUGH.
You're looking at this from 1 point of view as if the only explanation for him moving on is b/c you must've messed things up & that him moving on to be with someone else is somehow related to you not giving your all to him. I doubt that. Seems like that's only what you wanna tell yourself b/c it may be too embarrassing or hurt too bad to acknowledge/admit that you might've just fell for/gave all of yourself to a player who was only good when he was getting the benefits.
He might've really felt that you were special, BUT remember that it's gonna take a helluva lot more than a simple connection & good sex for a player to change his ways overall.
Had you even finally gotten him all to yourself, the fact that he was a player when you met him would've came back to your memory. It's only something you're overlooking now b/c you & him never made it to that point
Had you even finally gotten him all to yourself, the fact that he was a player when you met him would've came back to your memory. It's only something you're overlooking now b/c you & him never made it to that point
to krysrenee7
thank you, I really like your posts
I never compared someone to my partner. My relationship with my partner was dead maybe for last 2 years. I don't know why I was staying in, I just didn't want to hurt anybody, maybe I was scared to be alone. Stupid, I know. I doubt when I grow up.
I didn't write really everything what I would like to, coz for me it is quiet hard to express myself in english, but you are probably right at all you said.
I ended both rs, now i'm single and I enjoy it. Hope I learned something from all this and sure from your advice.
thank you, I really like your posts
I never compared someone to my partner. My relationship with my partner was dead maybe for last 2 years. I don't know why I was staying in, I just didn't want to hurt anybody, maybe I was scared to be alone. Stupid, I know. I doubt when I grow up.
I didn't write really everything what I would like to, coz for me it is quiet hard to express myself in english, but you are probably right at all you said.
I ended both rs, now i'm single and I enjoy it. Hope I learned something from all this and sure from your advice.
Posted by Boriska
to krysrenee7
thank you, I really like your posts
I didn't write really everything what I would like to, coz for me it is quiet hard to express myself in english, but you are probably right at all you said.
I ended both rs, now i'm single and I enjoy it. Hope I learned something from all this and sure from your advice.
Oh no worries! I'm sure there is more to the story. There always is
I think that you being so self-aware will work in your favor in your future relationships & just in general.
Next time though, don't settle. Don't apologize for not feeling content in a relationship. Even if you're not content for shallow reasons, that's ok! Own that! Deal with the truth! If it means you have to separate from them in order to deal with shallowness or whatever issues you're having then so be it! But whatever it is, don't apologize for how you feel about someone b/c suppressing your truth is how you end up resenting your partner, the relationship & yourself in the long run
And to answer your original question...yes I have met that 1 guy before that I had very short relations with but yet felt that we'd known each other for a life time. I wouldn't necessarily call that a soul mate though b/c it's hard for me to accept that a soul mate is something that you'd never even be in a committed relationship with! Who wants to think someone is their soul mate if you can't have or have never had them? lol
Some people just share intensely deep connections from the beginning. The hard part is in recognizing that sometimes that's ALL it is & will ever be. May not make sense to us b/c it's human nature to wanna go further (commitment or intimacy) with someone whom we share such a rare connection with, but hey whose to say that the OTHER aspects of him would've meshed well with you?! For all you know, he could've ended up the crazy type or the cheating type...and if that would've been the case, the fact that you guys had a great connection wouldn't have mattered or seemed so good, ya know?
Good luck =)
Posted by krysrenee7Posted by Boriska
to krysrenee7
thank you, I really like your posts
I didn't write really everything what I would like to, coz for me it is quiet hard to express myself in english, but you are probably right at all you said.
I ended both rs, now i'm single and I enjoy it. Hope I learned something from all this and sure from your advice.
Oh no worries! I'm sure there is more to the story. There always is
I think that you being so self-aware will work in your favor in your future relationships & just in general.
Next time though, don't settle. Don't apologize for not feeling content in a relationship. Even if you're not content for shallow reasons, that's ok! Own that! Deal with the truth! If it means you have to separate from them in order to deal with shallowness or whatever issues you're having then so be it! But whatever it is, don't apologize for how you feel about someone b/c suppressing your truth is how you end up resenting your partner, the relationship & yourself in the long run
And to answer your original question...yes I have met that 1 guy before that I had very short relations with but yet felt that we'd known each other for a life time. I wouldn't necessarily call that a soul mate though b/c it's hard for me to accept that a soul mate is something that you'd never even be in a committed relationship with! Who wants to think someone is their soul mate if you can't have or have never had them? lol
Some people just share intensely deep connections from the beginning. The hard part is in recognizing that sometimes that's ALL it is & will ever be. May not make sense to us b/c it's human nature to wanna go further (commitment or intimacy) with someone whom we share such a rare connection with, but hey whose to say that the OTHER aspects of him would've meshed well with you?! For all you know, he could've ended up the crazy type or the cheating type...and if that would've been the case, the fact that you guys had a great connection wouldn't have mattered or seemed so good, ya know?
Good luck =)click to expand
Thanks
just some explanation:
The main reason I wrote the story wasn't because of I would like to know how to deal with the situation.
I love people, I like to socialize, I love to make people around me happy but I don't get too close with the
Thanks
just some explanation:
The main reason I wrote the story wasn't because of I would like to know how to deal with the situation.
I love people, I like to socialize, I love to make people around me happy but I don't get too close with them.
So the reason I wrote the story was mainly because I didn't feel such a connection in my life with someone. I didn't ever think something like this can exist.
Like I wrote before we are still friends and I hope we remain friends in the future.
He is not so bad. He is good friend, he is always sweet to me, cheers me up when I need it, encurage me in lots of things. I enjoy our conversations, he make me smile and we have lots of fun together.
Good luck to you all
just some explanation:
The main reason I wrote the story wasn't because of I would like to know how to deal with the situation.
I love people, I like to socialize, I love to make people around me happy but I don't get too close with them.
So the reason I wrote the story was mainly because I didn't feel such a connection in my life with someone. I didn't ever think something like this can exist.
Like I wrote before we are still friends and I hope we remain friends in the future.
He is not so bad. He is good friend, he is always sweet to me, cheers me up when I need it, encurage me in lots of things. I enjoy our conversations, he make me smile and we have lots of fun together.
Good luck to you all
Thanks for the story and yes those days are gone and it is nice to have memories of days that have gone. It is good to hear that you have both remained friends through out this and continue to do so.
Sorry but i must ask when did this happen?
There is NO comparison against someone you've known & shared your life with for 9 years vs. someone you've superficially known for 6 months or even 4 years. NO COMPARISON
This, when did this happen-the 6 months or even 4 years.
This, when did this happen-the 6 months or even 4 years.
Posted by mfwb55
Sorry but i must ask when did this happen?
troughout this year
Why do you ask? if I may ask =)
aha...the 6 months or little bit more back
4 years was just a example that is not enought in the comparision to 9 years
4 years was just a example that is not enought in the comparision to 9 years
I get it...you were just venting...you were just trying to make sense of an unexplainable feeling that has taken hold of your heart in a way nothing/no one ever has. I get it
Use those moments/memories as a reminder that true love & a true soul mate connection IS real, IS out there & CAN be felt again with someone else. Only next time, hopefully you can/will end up with the person for the long haul so that you don't have to deal with that rare moment/feeling coming, but then leaving! Use the situation as an incentive to not give up on love whenever you are feeling blue or are having a pessimistic day =)
Use those moments/memories as a reminder that true love & a true soul mate connection IS real, IS out there & CAN be felt again with someone else. Only next time, hopefully you can/will end up with the person for the long haul so that you don't have to deal with that rare moment/feeling coming, but then leaving! Use the situation as an incentive to not give up on love whenever you are feeling blue or are having a pessimistic day =)
I think you get it right...the feelings were so strong in a way I never felt before and I couldn't resist it.
I'm looking to the future to find those feelings again with someone else...I'm just afraid if it is posible find that again but I will believe in it.
thanks guys
I'm looking to the future to find those feelings again with someone else...I'm just afraid if it is posible find that again but I will believe in it.
thanks guys
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This will be quiet long, so if you don't want to read it, never mind.
I just want to share my story with someone, otherwise I think I'm going to blow up.
And you know, as Aqua, I can't find anyone who would understand me.
I found this forum a few months ago, I read all topic here and I feel like I'm home:-)
I'm not really looking for any advice, just to share the story, but any feedback will be appreciated.
Where to start the story...maybe from the begining.
I was in relationship with Taurus man for about 9 year till previous week and the relationship just didn't work well. OK, I admit that I was bored.
So more then half a year ago I started to live my own life again without the Taurus man, enjoying myself with my friends. But was still remaining in relationship with the Taurus man.
I hang out with my two brothers and friends and there I met a guy, who is one of my brother's best friend.
I was dancing with my brother and this guy came around and he wanted to dance with me. So we were dancing and we didn't even talk, he just looked deeply into my eyes (steady gaze is what i really like) and I have been lost and I kissed him. My brother saw how we were kissing and he was warning me, that the guy is known to have many and many girls. I think you understand, nobody would tell me what schould I do. After that I didn't see the guy for few months and I was thinking, "That's ok, I'm in relationship, I should not be doing this and the guy is not worth it anyway, he is a player, so forget about him".
Next time I hang out within this group of friends, this guy started to ask me lot of questions about me. I'm little bit shy and secretive around people I don't know well and I don't want to let them know personal stuff about me. But everytime he was speaking to me, he has been looking streight to my eyes and I started to feel more comfortable with him. I was like WOW, "I don't even know this guy, but I feel like I know him for years, I can talk to him about everything, he makes me smile and when he is smiling at me I have to smile back. When he looks into my eyes I have not to speak at all because it feels like he can read my mind and I can read his." It was really something like spiritual connection.
We liked same things, shared same outlook on how life should be. He likes sports, so I do. He started open to me more and said things to me, whic