How to show....
This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by Oakley01 on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 and has 13 replies.
how to show your ex Aquarian that you still really and deeply love him, nomatter if he dumped you for nothing? how to show him again that you're not angry or sad, but that you understand him and love him? nway, how an Aquarian could even thing it is over if he didn't tell you right and straight into your face that is over? He didn't call or text 5 days to me. Should I send him an email that I would like to know why he left me and why he didn't tell me into my face?
thanks !
thanks !
Thank you Starfish.
I move on with my own, no matter how much I love him. i am not trying to be desperate or show him that any how. He was this fool this time (since I find him very nice and kind person!) to allow himself to loose such a person. i just say to my friend, she meet with him tonight, to say him "hallo" from me and that I'm shining like never before. I am so sorry for him cause I am sure 100 percent this time that he could have great time and great life with me. I am confident. My kisses to all Aquarians which can't understand deep and true love without the limits! :-)
I move on with my own, no matter how much I love him. i am not trying to be desperate or show him that any how. He was this fool this time (since I find him very nice and kind person!) to allow himself to loose such a person. i just say to my friend, she meet with him tonight, to say him "hallo" from me and that I'm shining like never before. I am so sorry for him cause I am sure 100 percent this time that he could have great time and great life with me. I am confident. My kisses to all Aquarians which can't understand deep and true love without the limits! :-)
Well at this point you shouldn't even be worried about WHY he left you high & dry like that. If anything, you should be fuming so bad that your inner-strength kicks in & realizes that hey, if that's the kind of person he is then I oughta THANK HIM for showing me his true colors earlier on, instead of not knowing for another day, month or year. This Aquarian guy either didn't care about you at all and/or you're not telling the whole story.
How long were you two together? And how serious was the relationship?
If you 2 got into a fight, or if he's been going through some rough times in his life (that you weren't the cause of) then it's kind of normal for us Aquas to just up & disappear but not in this manner. Right now, playing the desperate & "I need you" role to him is not such a good idea. Either way, his decision to leave you high & dry was final & even though Aqua men might make this decision w/o considering your feelings, he'll always be content in his decision, especially when it comes down to who he'll walk away from, when it will happen & how long he'll need his space. And if he made the decision to let you go temporarily (b/c he's got some issues to work out OR b/c he simply just doesn't want to be with you anymore) then you trying to get him back will actually annoy him even more.
Aquas need their space & when they detach like that, it's best to just let them be & just hope that they'll realize what they're missing out on. Anytime you try to force or guilty an Aqua into coming back to you, it'll always backfire b/c it always comes back to an Aqua feeling content in their decisions & making those decisions final, no matter how much he loves the person. Just move on & let go. Only you know if this guy is worth all of this trouble. If he is, then WAIT for him to come back to you. If he's not, then let it go & make sure that if AND when he comes back, that chapter in your life will already be closed
How long were you two together? And how serious was the relationship?
If you 2 got into a fight, or if he's been going through some rough times in his life (that you weren't the cause of) then it's kind of normal for us Aquas to just up & disappear but not in this manner. Right now, playing the desperate & "I need you" role to him is not such a good idea. Either way, his decision to leave you high & dry was final & even though Aqua men might make this decision w/o considering your feelings, he'll always be content in his decision, especially when it comes down to who he'll walk away from, when it will happen & how long he'll need his space. And if he made the decision to let you go temporarily (b/c he's got some issues to work out OR b/c he simply just doesn't want to be with you anymore) then you trying to get him back will actually annoy him even more.
Aquas need their space & when they detach like that, it's best to just let them be & just hope that they'll realize what they're missing out on. Anytime you try to force or guilty an Aqua into coming back to you, it'll always backfire b/c it always comes back to an Aqua feeling content in their decisions & making those decisions final, no matter how much he loves the person. Just move on & let go. Only you know if this guy is worth all of this trouble. If he is, then WAIT for him to come back to you. If he's not, then let it go & make sure that if AND when he comes back, that chapter in your life will already be closed
My kisses to all Aquarians which can't understand deep and true love without the limits "
Well, honey you need to find/figure out why left you first. Don't go assuming that all Aquas are idiots that don't know a good thing when they see one. This Aqua might've given you warnings that he was about to detach & often times, we give these warning indirectly, thus the person is so wrapped up in fantasy & love-land that they miss these warnings, just to later be shocked when we finally do SHOW you better than we could tell you that we meant business. And plus, it's highly unlikely that you 2 had such a good thing & that he'd all of the sudden just bounce. Something doesn't add up. Either he seen something in you that he didn't want to tolerate and/Or he didn't see the relationship as all "roses" the same way you did. But whatever the case, don't start assuming that he just left for no reason & will miss out on you, b/c he might actually believe that he had a valid enough reason to leave, thus YOU will end up being the ONLY one who believes he was missing out on a good thing (when the whole purpose was for HIM to believe so).
Try to figure out why he left you. And no, don't start using messengers to get to him. If this guy even cared a lick about you, he'd communicate with YOU & would want you to do the same directly as well. Messengers make things even worse especially if you're flipping out over something that might not be as bad as you thought. Go to him directly for the answer to why he suddenly left you & hey, if you can't contact him or get those answers, then tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be & move on. But don't spend all your nights trying to figure out how to convince him that you love him b/c technically, if he doesn't want to see it OR doesn't see it at all, you'll only annoy him & turn him off more. Either way, something is being left out of this story
Well, honey you need to find/figure out why left you first. Don't go assuming that all Aquas are idiots that don't know a good thing when they see one. This Aqua might've given you warnings that he was about to detach & often times, we give these warning indirectly, thus the person is so wrapped up in fantasy & love-land that they miss these warnings, just to later be shocked when we finally do SHOW you better than we could tell you that we meant business. And plus, it's highly unlikely that you 2 had such a good thing & that he'd all of the sudden just bounce. Something doesn't add up. Either he seen something in you that he didn't want to tolerate and/Or he didn't see the relationship as all "roses" the same way you did. But whatever the case, don't start assuming that he just left for no reason & will miss out on you, b/c he might actually believe that he had a valid enough reason to leave, thus YOU will end up being the ONLY one who believes he was missing out on a good thing (when the whole purpose was for HIM to believe so).
Try to figure out why he left you. And no, don't start using messengers to get to him. If this guy even cared a lick about you, he'd communicate with YOU & would want you to do the same directly as well. Messengers make things even worse especially if you're flipping out over something that might not be as bad as you thought. Go to him directly for the answer to why he suddenly left you & hey, if you can't contact him or get those answers, then tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be & move on. But don't spend all your nights trying to figure out how to convince him that you love him b/c technically, if he doesn't want to see it OR doesn't see it at all, you'll only annoy him & turn him off more. Either way, something is being left out of this story
ego trip, immaturity, not-real-life person
great one, kind, good, attractive, but inert and egoistic
he admit that he cannot follow my great sense for life and all this colors!
great one, kind, good, attractive, but inert and egoistic
he admit that he cannot follow my great sense for life and all this colors!
????
Krys, thank you again for your insights, I really appreciate 'em! Sorry for above, I was hurt and in pain so much, cause he was first man in my life (we are both over 30) which I love so easily and free. IOf course that I'm not thinking that Aquas are idiots or something like that. never!
I am so sorry loosing him, he meant to me a lot, and I still love him, no regrets. Even I understand him. Yesterday I picked up my things at his flat, he open the doors with bright smile on his face, touched my shoulders, made a coffee, we talked more than a hour, in the end I asked him "what was the main reason that you left me?" he said that was that we didn't understand each other in some things, but there's always a possibility to continue together sometimes somewhere...He even suggest me that I can sleep at his place when I go on vacation in his birth-city (??) He kept a bag saying that he need it, and I can come another time to pick up it. He also told me that he never ever met such a great woman in his life, and his feelings for me did not changed at all. But ...
I am so sorry loosing him, he meant to me a lot, and I still love him, no regrets. Even I understand him. Yesterday I picked up my things at his flat, he open the doors with bright smile on his face, touched my shoulders, made a coffee, we talked more than a hour, in the end I asked him "what was the main reason that you left me?" he said that was that we didn't understand each other in some things, but there's always a possibility to continue together sometimes somewhere...He even suggest me that I can sleep at his place when I go on vacation in his birth-city (??) He kept a bag saying that he need it, and I can come another time to pick up it. He also told me that he never ever met such a great woman in his life, and his feelings for me did not changed at all. But ...
Well Aquas can be coldly distant towards someone they are no longer with, but not actually cold acting to the person, especially if the breakup was mutual and/or peaceful. He's offering his house to you b/c he still respects you in all areas. But in his mind, just b/c he thinks you're a great woman & sees you as a "great" thing doesn't mean that he sees the need to actually have the title of "boyfriend/girlfriend" with you.
Remember, an Aquarian won't care how good you look, how much money you have and/or how beautiful you are in other areas if they generally don't feel a connection and/or deep understanding with/of you. An Aquarian needs to be with someone who deeply understands them (b/c it gives them motivation to work towards deeply understanding you) & when they don't feel that understanding or connection, they will emotionally detach, regardless of all the other good things about you. They do this b/c an emotional connection/understanding is the MOST important to an Aquarian & if they don't feel, see or sense one, they will not feel bad for honoring their own expectations of wanting anything less than what they asked for. You may never understand what he meant when he said that you two didn't understand eachother in somethings. B/c he loved you in other areas, he's willing to open his heart to you & still show you his genuwine side in other areas (other than being in a relationship with you). The only area that you'll notice him no longer offering is an official title as boyfriend/girlfriend with him. And I know it sucks for you, b/c it's hard to NOT want that title with someone whom you deem a great person & great love
Remember, an Aquarian won't care how good you look, how much money you have and/or how beautiful you are in other areas if they generally don't feel a connection and/or deep understanding with/of you. An Aquarian needs to be with someone who deeply understands them (b/c it gives them motivation to work towards deeply understanding you) & when they don't feel that understanding or connection, they will emotionally detach, regardless of all the other good things about you. They do this b/c an emotional connection/understanding is the MOST important to an Aquarian & if they don't feel, see or sense one, they will not feel bad for honoring their own expectations of wanting anything less than what they asked for. You may never understand what he meant when he said that you two didn't understand eachother in somethings. B/c he loved you in other areas, he's willing to open his heart to you & still show you his genuwine side in other areas (other than being in a relationship with you). The only area that you'll notice him no longer offering is an official title as boyfriend/girlfriend with him. And I know it sucks for you, b/c it's hard to NOT want that title with someone whom you deem a great person & great love
What I realized recently, after stop seeing him, is that I never actually show him how much I do understand him. It's just like I'm looking myself in the mirror. The same kind of face, behavior, attitude, emotions. But within this 5 months I didn't open myself enough just because I'm such a person who don't want to bother other people, specially close one, with too much talking about emotions, inner fears, past experiences, feelings, etc. I just started to open myself this way last few weeks... I know where his fears and his sadness are placed , why he acted detached several times, and so on.. I know that and I deeply understand that, cause my father is the same type of person, and this is the man I know the most. I just know all this things, But I never told him.
Now, in this stage, I'm considering to write him a letter. Not emotional love letter, but letter of me and regarding my understanding of him. Do you think that would be ok?
Is there any chances to "reconnect" with my Aqua? I am aware that he is the crucial turning point in my whole life, and I do not want to lose him. This person is spiritually and emotionally almost similar as I am! I would really like to show him everything that I missed during our relationship. Does it make it any sense right now?
And, what do you think I should feel or behave next time when I see him, cause it will be so (we have mutual friends)? I know that I will not show him how much I'm in love, how much I care and want to be together, but also I cannot act like I don't care at all! That would be a lie. I cannot wear the mask. Not in fromt of him, neither in front of me as an adult woman.
Now, in this stage, I'm considering to write him a letter. Not emotional love letter, but letter of me and regarding my understanding of him. Do you think that would be ok?
Is there any chances to "reconnect" with my Aqua? I am aware that he is the crucial turning point in my whole life, and I do not want to lose him. This person is spiritually and emotionally almost similar as I am! I would really like to show him everything that I missed during our relationship. Does it make it any sense right now?
And, what do you think I should feel or behave next time when I see him, cause it will be so (we have mutual friends)? I know that I will not show him how much I'm in love, how much I care and want to be together, but also I cannot act like I don't care at all! That would be a lie. I cannot wear the mask. Not in fromt of him, neither in front of me as an adult woman.
Just to add, maybe could help:
he has:
Sun - Aqua
Moon - Scorpio
Venus - Saggitarius
Asc. - Libra
he has:
Sun - Aqua
Moon - Scorpio
Venus - Saggitarius
Asc. - Libra
What's the point of writing him that letter??
I know you have hopes of winning him some how with you amazing knowledge of him... and I know you won't admit this because this is how I felt as well not too long ago, when I was going to give a certain Virguy a pie and I convinced myself it was just because I'm a caring friend, bullshit I wanted and was hoping for something more and now I've come to realize it and you will too...
There is no point in writing that letter! If these points are accurate you are telling him things he already know. But it will not change the way he feels about you.
Though, you say it will not be emotional he will see it as emotional, mushy... I am sure it will make things more awkward for him. I know you want closure but... it will not change the situation.
He does not care for you as you do for him.
I know right now that might be hard to understand and you feel it in your heart that there is hope, because that is how much you care about him...
Nothing we say in honesty will satisfy you because you want to be with him. But there is nothing you can do, you can't force a man to love you....
All I can say is that time will mend your broken heart and will only make you stronger.
I know you have hopes of winning him some how with you amazing knowledge of him... and I know you won't admit this because this is how I felt as well not too long ago, when I was going to give a certain Virguy a pie and I convinced myself it was just because I'm a caring friend, bullshit I wanted and was hoping for something more and now I've come to realize it and you will too...
There is no point in writing that letter! If these points are accurate you are telling him things he already know. But it will not change the way he feels about you.
Though, you say it will not be emotional he will see it as emotional, mushy... I am sure it will make things more awkward for him. I know you want closure but... it will not change the situation.
He does not care for you as you do for him.
I know right now that might be hard to understand and you feel it in your heart that there is hope, because that is how much you care about him...
Nothing we say in honesty will satisfy you because you want to be with him. But there is nothing you can do, you can't force a man to love you....
All I can say is that time will mend your broken heart and will only make you stronger.
Thank you Xtina.
I know that writing him a letter could be a pathetic expression of my wish to connect with him again, and all what is done/said is done. But one thing that still makes confusion in my head right now is that like he left door open... He said that there will be certainly some period in our lives when we will reach this subject of "not-understanding", to discuss about it and maybe even solve it... that he didn't change his feelings about me (two days before break up he wrote me a mail with deep and loving insights about how he sees me and how much he loves me, saying Forever Yours...) and that it's like you're sitting in the room and somebody knockin on you doors, and you open but you don't like this conversation right now, and then close the door, but then you decide again to open it and let this person out there to enter your hose... his words... So, that's why Im still confused regarding his feelings and attentions. Of course, I am pretty sure that he left me because he didn't call me even to tell me or ask me hey how are you doing, 3 weeks from now (only my visit to his home to pick up my things was the only break of this silence)... but i'm still wondering what will be our conversation or interaction between us when we meet together again somewhere outside with our mutual friends...? don't know. I do still love him so much, miss him sooo much, never before in my life I experienced such interesing and "another-me" kind of man.
I know that writing him a letter could be a pathetic expression of my wish to connect with him again, and all what is done/said is done. But one thing that still makes confusion in my head right now is that like he left door open... He said that there will be certainly some period in our lives when we will reach this subject of "not-understanding", to discuss about it and maybe even solve it... that he didn't change his feelings about me (two days before break up he wrote me a mail with deep and loving insights about how he sees me and how much he loves me, saying Forever Yours...) and that it's like you're sitting in the room and somebody knockin on you doors, and you open but you don't like this conversation right now, and then close the door, but then you decide again to open it and let this person out there to enter your hose... his words... So, that's why Im still confused regarding his feelings and attentions. Of course, I am pretty sure that he left me because he didn't call me even to tell me or ask me hey how are you doing, 3 weeks from now (only my visit to his home to pick up my things was the only break of this silence)... but i'm still wondering what will be our conversation or interaction between us when we meet together again somewhere outside with our mutual friends...? don't know. I do still love him so much, miss him sooo much, never before in my life I experienced such interesing and "another-me" kind of man.
Don't get me wrong Oakley I understand you completely... it's just my heart break has had some time overlapped where I can heal, take a step back reflect and analyze the wreckage, objectively. YOU on the other hand you still have feelings for him therefore it's difficult for you to look at this with an objective eye, I'm not saying you have to, you should take all the time you need to cope. You just need to do that doing your own thing and try to avoid him.
But it is good that you came on here to talk about your feelings... it's a healthy vent.
Let me start off with saying Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus... we express our emotions differently. We women like to talk about our feelings, we are better at communicating it than most men. Men on the other hand express their emotions through action. And Action speaks louder than words.
You are confused because you don't understand why he would tell you those things yet show something completely different. The truth is men are cowards when it comes to letting down women. There are good guys out there who are not afraid of letting down a girl, but the majority are cowards.
I had a very similar situation to yours where things were not closed and he still kept calling me even though he would never want to meet or date. It was very frustrating on my part. So I've come to the conclusion that, if a man is not showing his love through actions, than he is not in love with you... maybe infatuated, but not love. And we all know how fickle infatuation can be.
It's okay if you keep venting, exploring, and reflecting upon what happened, that is the only way to get over this... just as long as you realize that he never loved you like you deserve and it's better you find someone that will.
But it is good that you came on here to talk about your feelings... it's a healthy vent.
Let me start off with saying Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus... we express our emotions differently. We women like to talk about our feelings, we are better at communicating it than most men. Men on the other hand express their emotions through action. And Action speaks louder than words.
You are confused because you don't understand why he would tell you those things yet show something completely different. The truth is men are cowards when it comes to letting down women. There are good guys out there who are not afraid of letting down a girl, but the majority are cowards.
I had a very similar situation to yours where things were not closed and he still kept calling me even though he would never want to meet or date. It was very frustrating on my part. So I've come to the conclusion that, if a man is not showing his love through actions, than he is not in love with you... maybe infatuated, but not love. And we all know how fickle infatuation can be.
It's okay if you keep venting, exploring, and reflecting upon what happened, that is the only way to get over this... just as long as you realize that he never loved you like you deserve and it's better you find someone that will.
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