I finally told the aqua my feelings and he said he wants a relationship but now he's acting weird

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by FitNebula on Tuesday, January 23, 2018 and has 50 replies.
You guys have been doing this for 7 years, he is who he is. You can't expect him to change. He will act the same way he's always acted, and he's doing just that. If you want to see him plan it. You just said he doesn't bail on important stuff.

Men follow along a lot of the time when it comes to planning things. So just plan something and tell him you want to see him. If he wasn't they type to make dates and plan stuff out, what makes you think he would now? Some people are planners and some people aren't.

I don't think he's gonna change, you've accepted him as he is for the last 7 years. There's no reason to change.
Posted by saggurl88
You guys have been doing this for 7 years, he is who he is. You can't expect him to change. He will act the same way he's always acted, and he's doing just that. If you want to see him plan it. You just said he doesn't bail on important stuff.

Men follow along a lot of the time when it comes to planning things. So just plan something and tell him you want to see him. If he wasn't they type to make dates and plan stuff out, what makes you think he would now? Some people are planners and some people aren't.

I don't think he's gonna change, you've accepted him as he is for the last 7 years. There's no reason to change.
Thanks. Those are really good points.

It's not that I want him to change, I guess I'm just insecure because he hasn't really spoken to me or asked me out... so I guess I'm just wondering if he still wants to try a relationship or what happened.

Mostly I am worried he is still seeing the other girl.

But thanks for the reply, it gives me something to think about for sure.

Posted by FitNebula
Posted by saggurl88
You guys have been doing this for 7 years, he is who he is. You can't expect him to change. He will act the same way he's always acted, and he's doing just that. If you want to see him plan it. You just said he doesn't bail on important stuff.

Men follow along a lot of the time when it comes to planning things. So just plan something and tell him you want to see him. If he wasn't they type to make dates and plan stuff out, what makes you think he would now? Some people are planners and some people aren't.

I don't think he's gonna change, you've accepted him as he is for the last 7 years. There's no reason to change.
Thanks. Those are really good points.

It's not that I want him to change, I guess I'm just insecure because he hasn't really spoken to me or asked me out... so I guess I'm just wondering if he still wants to try a relationship or what happened.

Mostly I am worried he is still seeing the other girl.

But thanks for the reply, it gives me something to think about for sure.

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He was honest and told you that he liked you more and he told you he would see her when she comes back. Just have faith that he meant what he said. He's not gonna forget that you guys are in a relationship, lol Make plans to see him!

Posted by saggurl88
Posted by FitNebula
Posted by saggurl88
You guys have been doing this for 7 years, he is who he is. You can't expect him to change. He will act the same way he's always acted, and he's doing just that. If you want to see him plan it. You just said he doesn't bail on important stuff.

Men follow along a lot of the time when it comes to planning things. So just plan something and tell him you want to see him. If he wasn't they type to make dates and plan stuff out, what makes you think he would now? Some people are planners and some people aren't.

I don't think he's gonna change, you've accepted him as he is for the last 7 years. There's no reason to change.
Thanks. Those are really good points.

It's not that I want him to change, I guess I'm just insecure because he hasn't really spoken to me or asked me out... so I guess I'm just wondering if he still wants to try a relationship or what happened.

Mostly I am worried he is still seeing the other girl.

But thanks for the reply, it gives me something to think about for sure.

He was honest and told you that he liked you more and he told you he would see her when she comes back. Just have faith that he meant what he said. He's not gonna forget that you guys are in a relationship, lol Make plans to see him!

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That is true... but she's been back since like 4 days after we had that conversation!! I don't know if he's seen her or what. I just feel like he would've asked me out by now if he meant what he said! But maybe I'll try to reach out this weekend or something. Thanks for your advice!

Posted by Senorita_LL
Wow! How did you manage to hold for that long? Or was it because he had someone else that made you finally confessed your feelings towards him?

I really want to understand, because being an air sign, I definitely don't have that patience. Lol
Trust me it was really hard!! I'm an air sign too (libra) but I never felt it was the right time because he lived far away and I was also scared to tell him how I felt. I always like to just "go with the flow" and kind of just hoped we would just eventually turn into a relationship. Haha. But then I realized that wasn't really working.

If I didn't hear that he had started seeing someone else.... I don't know when I would tell him! I kept going back and forth but that made me realize I need to do it now or else he's going to be in a relationship with someone else.
Classic thread title lol
Posted by MyStarsShine
Classic thread title lol
After almost 7 years lol
Posted by FitNebula

He sent me a snapchat yesterday, which is rare, but I didn't respond.

I guess I figured we would talk more or he would at least make plans?


Idk it might be just me or the fact i'm wearing glasses but i see a slight contradiction here.
Someone is going to have to take the lead here, and it’s not him lol
Posted by AerialView
Posted by MyStarsShine
Classic thread title lol
After almost 7 years lol
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Seven

Year

Itch

Lol
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by AerialView
Posted by MyStarsShine
Classic thread title lol
After almost 7 years lol
Seven

Year

Itch

Lol
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Monroe lol
OP how many more years are you going to give this boy to make his mind up ?
Posted by Moonbutter
Someone is going to have to take the lead here, and it’s not him lol


Sooo I should ask him out?! Why not him lol Sad
Posted by HaziiFlo
So you get in a relationship with this guy after 7 yrs and still have problems with him because he won’t mold into the “boyfriend” you imagined?

Just because y’all received an official title, doesn’t mean he was going to change.

I once received some great advice from an older Aries man that had me thinking now and forever about future potential men;

When you first date a guy, how he is now, he will most likely be later or years down the road.

Ex; if you know you don’t really like that he clubs every weekend and/or is super social, you still won’t like 2-10 years down the line. He may not club as much but, he will always be that social butterfly from the beginning. That’s just reality.

So when I’m dating a guy, I always think long run even if it may not get there because there’s always a possibility. That means I need to be absolutely content with who he is now.
Very good points! Thanks.

Yeah, he is who he is and I've liked him for such a long time and no I don't want him to change!! All I want is to hang out more often and start talking more. I think I'm insecure about the other girl and just the fact that we haven't hung out so I'm overthinking and paranoid that he's with her instead!! Sad

Posted by Mr_Pinchy
Posted by FitNebula

He sent me a snapchat yesterday, which is rare, but I didn't respond.

I guess I figured we would talk more or he would at least make plans?


Idk it might be just me or the fact i'm wearing glasses but i see a slight contradiction here.
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I know I know but it's just snapchat, he just sent me a picture of his beer and didn't say anything so I didn't respond. Maybe I should've though because he barely snapchats

Posted by FitNebula
Posted by HaziiFlo
So you get in a relationship with this guy after 7 yrs and still have problems with him because he won’t mold into the “boyfriend” you imagined?

Just because y’all received an official title, doesn’t mean he was going to change.

I once received some great advice from an older Aries man that had me thinking now and forever about future potential men;

When you first date a guy, how he is now, he will most likely be later or years down the road.

Ex; if you know you don’t really like that he clubs every weekend and/or is super social, you still won’t like 2-10 years down the line. He may not club as much but, he will always be that social butterfly from the beginning. That’s just reality.

So when I’m dating a guy, I always think long run even if it may not get there because there’s always a possibility. That means I need to be absolutely content with who he is now.
Very good points! Thanks.

Yeah, he is who he is and I've liked him for such a long time and no I don't want him to change!! All I want is to hang out more often and start talking more. I think I'm insecure about the other girl and just the fact that we haven't hung out so I'm overthinking and paranoid that he's with her instead!! Sad

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If you want him to hang out more, keep in mind that admitting wanting a relationship with you doesn't change his habits, but by agreeing with this he gave you some power towards it. So be bold and step up. You are now allowed to initiate. Ask him out, talk to him, and use the hints he drops! You cannot just lay there and expect to be showered with whatever you might expect from a boyfriend smile

Many Aquas are quite passive, especially after some sort of routine has been established. And yes, even though they are unpredictable, they enjoy a certain pattern/routine as well, as long as they don't feel cornered. So you have the possibility to create that routine, in your favor.
Posted by compy
Posted by FitNebula
Posted by HaziiFlo
So you get in a relationship with this guy after 7 yrs and still have problems with him because he won’t mold into the “boyfriend” you imagined?

Just because y’all received an official title, doesn’t mean he was going to change.

I once received some great advice from an older Aries man that had me thinking now and forever about future potential men;

When you first date a guy, how he is now, he will most likely be later or years down the road.

Ex; if you know you don’t really like that he clubs every weekend and/or is super social, you still won’t like 2-10 years down the line. He may not club as much but, he will always be that social butterfly from the beginning. That’s just reality.

So when I’m dating a guy, I always think long run even if it may not get there because there’s always a possibility. That means I need to be absolutely content with who he is now.
Very good points! Thanks.

Yeah, he is who he is and I've liked him for such a long time and no I don't want him to change!! All I want is to hang out more often and start talking more. I think I'm insecure about the other girl and just the fact that we haven't hung out so I'm overthinking and paranoid that he's with her instead!! Sad

If you want him to hang out more, keep in mind that admitting wanting a relationship with you doesn't change his habits, but by agreeing with this he gave you some power towards it. So be bold and step up. You are now allowed to initiate. Ask him out, talk to him, and use the hints he drops! You cannot just lay there and expect to be showered with whatever you might expect from a boyfriend smile

Many Aquas are quite passive, especially after some sort of routine has been established. And yes, even though they are unpredictable, they enjoy a certain pattern/routine as well, as long as they don't feel cornered. So you have the possibility to create that routine, in your favor.
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Thank you for the advice! I am now realizing that it was very unrealistic of me to think that just because he said he wants a relationship means he is going to all of a sudden be blowing up my phone.

I guess I thought since I asked him out last, he would ask me out this time! But that is unfair and not how relationships have to work.

When we were talking, I actually said to him "sorry if you felt cornered but I just had to get that off my chest!" And he said "that's the thing, I don't feel cornered at all." So hope that is a good sign.

Thanks again smile

@leo188881 -- thanks, that could be possible... although, we did talk the day after he didn't come to my friend's party and I think it was obvious I wasn't mad as I told him all about the party! BUT the night before I was telling our mutual friend that I was upset he didn't come, and the mutual friend talked to the aqua before he texted me that day.. so maybe our mutual friend mentioned it but I don't know.

But I didn't respond to his snapchat and I always respond so maybe now he thinks I'm mad.. not sure!

**SIGH** thanks for your input! smile
@Leo188881 -- Very true. My stupid pride is getting in the way!! >:O
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Move on
Posted by FitNebula
@Leo188881 -- Very true. My stupid pride is getting in the way!! >:O
That’s the biggest thing I had to get over... I had to make a decision; was my pride more important or the man I wanted to be with. If you know the answer, then you know what you need to do 😉
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
You gotta listen to your heart and head... Is this guy worth it? Do you have genuine feelings for him? Do you want him to be happy? Look, I went through this uncomfortable not knowing and I swear to goodness I was depressed, couldn’t eat, etc but it didn’t take too long( maybe 2-3 month) he was also getting over a break up so I gave him space...and I reached out and he responded and then I realized he was intimidated/scared of rejection as was I. But let me tell you, it was totally worth it and the breakthrough we needed to get over that hump. Just reach out, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain 🤗
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Wow. You've been messing with this guy for 7 years on and off, finally got him to commit and be in a relationship and now you're wondering if you should move on cause you kind of like someone else lol.

Smh. What was the point in getting into the relationship then?? You should definitely move on since you've been in a relationship for about a week or maybe less and are already checking other guys.

Now I feel bad for the Aqua.
Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
You gotta listen to your heart and head... Is this guy worth it? Do you have genuine feelings for him? Do you want him to be happy? Look, I went through this uncomfortable not knowing and I swear to goodness I was depressed, couldn’t eat, etc but it didn’t take too long( maybe 2-3 month) he was also getting over a break up so I gave him space...and I reached out and he responded and then I realized he was intimidated/scared of rejection as was I. But let me tell you, it was totally worth it and the breakthrough we needed to get over that hump. Just reach out, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain 🤗
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Yesss I have genuine feelings for him! But I'm wondering if he is worth it just considering he isn't putting in any effort really even though he's the one who said he wanted a relationship. It just makes me think he's with the other girl and not telling me and if that's the case then he's definitely not worth it!

But you do have a point, I think he is just as scared as I am of rejection. When we had our talk he said he thought I knew he liked me (I didn't explicitly know) so I guess he was just never going to tell me unless I brought it up first!

Yeah, I'm glad you decided to reach out to yours. Maybe I will too, but I just feel like he knows I like him so what's stopping him?

Thanks for all your advice!
Posted by airycap82
Posted by AerialView
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Move on
Agree. ☝🏽

I was reading the orginal post and he lost me at “smoke weed and play video games” all night.
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Yeah, I totally appreciate wanting to relax and do your hobbies, but if it takes precedence over other things and makes you act like an asshole then it's probably not a great thing to be doing ALL the time. And I don't think I want to deal with that mess
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Wow. You've been messing with this guy for 7 years on and off, finally got him to commit and be in a relationship and now you're wondering if you should move on cause you kind of like someone else lol.

Smh. What was the point in getting into the relationship then?? You should definitely move on since you've been in a relationship for about a week or maybe less and are already checking other guys.

Now I feel bad for the Aqua.
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I don't think we are in a relationship though? He has barely spoken to me in the past 1.5 weeks and he hasn't even asked me to hangout after he said he wanted to come to my friends' house but blew me off to play video games and smoke weed.

If we were actually in a relationship there's no way I'd be looking at other guys! But it just seems like he might be seeing that other girl so I put myself out there and actually did meet a really nice guy who I clicked with instantly.

I'm just wondering if I'll miss out on someone else who will treat me better if I keep waiting around for the aqua. I just don't even know if he's ready for a relationship at this point!
Posted by FitNebula
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Wow. You've been messing with this guy for 7 years on and off, finally got him to commit and be in a relationship and now you're wondering if you should move on cause you kind of like someone else lol.

Smh. What was the point in getting into the relationship then?? You should definitely move on since you've been in a relationship for about a week or maybe less and are already checking other guys.

Now I feel bad for the Aqua.
I don't think we are in a relationship though? He has barely spoken to me in the past 1.5 weeks and he hasn't even asked me to hangout after he said he wanted to come to my friends' house but blew me off to play video games and smoke weed.

If we were actually in a relationship there's no way I'd be looking at other guys! But it just seems like he might be seeing that other girl so I put myself out there and actually did meet a really nice guy who I clicked with instantly.

I'm just wondering if I'll miss out on someone else who will treat me better if I keep waiting around for the aqua. I just don't even know if he's ready for a relationship at this point!
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I don't know girl, I'm sure he's still doing the same old shit he always has. You seem to have met this other dude before you got into a relationship, so it seems like you just wanted to see if Aqua liked you more then he liked the other girl.

So I guess do your Libra thing and balance those scales lol. You guys can be in an open relationship, secretly lol

Posted by saggurl88
Posted by FitNebula
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by FitNebula
There’s this other guy who is showing interest and i kind of like him... should I just move on from the aqua? :/ i did want to try with him but can’t wait forever Sad has anyone ever been in this situation?
Wow. You've been messing with this guy for 7 years on and off, finally got him to commit and be in a relationship and now you're wondering if you should move on cause you kind of like someone else lol.

Smh. What was the point in getting into the relationship then?? You should definitely move on since you've been in a relationship for about a week or maybe less and are already checking other guys.

Now I feel bad for the Aqua.
I don't think we are in a relationship though? He has barely spoken to me in the past 1.5 weeks and he hasn't even asked me to hangout after he said he wanted to come to my friends' house but blew me off to play video games and smoke weed.

If we were actually in a relationship there's no way I'd be looking at other guys! But it just seems like he might be seeing that other girl so I put myself out there and actually did meet a really nice guy who I clicked with instantly.

I'm just wondering if I'll miss out on someone else who will treat me better if I keep waiting around for the aqua. I just don't even know if he's ready for a relationship at this point!
I don't know girl, I'm sure he's still doing the same old shit he always has. You seem to have met this other dude before you got into a relationship, so it seems like you just wanted to see if Aqua liked you more then he liked the other girl.

So I guess do your Libra thing and balance those scales lol. You guys can be in an open relationship, secretly lol

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Yeah, he probably is just doing the same thing as he usually does!

Actually I just met the other guy on Sunday -- I was feeling down about the aqua so I just decided to go out and meet someone and we actually really clicked and he's been texting me all week.

I would much prefer to be with the aqua but not if this is how it's going to be! Haha yeah maybe we could try an open relationship smile Thanks!

the thing I like about aquas is if you TALK to them about what youre fucking stewing about they will be honest about it.

it seems like youre making zero effort to talk to him and assuming a lot of things. okay he bailed on something and you called it, whatever but complaining hes not coming to you to make an effort, also assuming hes banging some other chick without facts in like a weekish is ridiculous, you want your facts straight go talk to him.

its not a difficult thing to grasp.
Posted by locusthive
the thing I like about aquas is if you TALK to them about what youre fucking stewing about they will be honest about it.

it seems like youre making zero effort to talk to him and assuming a lot of things. okay he bailed on something and you called it, whatever but complaining hes not coming to you to make an effort, also assuming hes banging some other chick without facts in like a weekish is ridiculous, you want your facts straight go talk to him.

its not a difficult thing to grasp.
Yeah you’re right, I am making a lot of assumptions. I guess I’d rather assume the worst than get my hopes up and get my heart broken although it will be broken either way.

It was hard enough for me to even ask him to come over and then to tell him my feelings but that conversation actually turned out to be very easy. Being vulnerable is so hard but worth it in the end I suppose.

If I ever get to see him again then I’m going to ask him what’s up. Although knowing me I’ll just end up going with the flow and never mention it if things are going alright between us. But we’ll see what happens... hopefully I hear from him soonish..

Posted by LoyalEnlightenedOne
Fuck, that was such a long read. You highschoolers crack me up.
The sad part is we are both 25 now... lol
I stopped reading after the 1st paragraph. Is this a joke?
OK, I know who you are and we've all tried to help you with this over the course of the year. And you claim to get it and commit to doing stuff and you flake out. I'm done and dusted.

Conclusion: you're not compatible. It isn't working, it didn't work, and it never WILL work. Make your decision and move on. Stay friends if you like because it seems like you get along well enough, but maintain your boundaries if you feel like it could he more with him. This is all unnecessary and unhelpful drama.



You can tell your feelings to an Aqua all you like but it doesn’t get you anywhere, people say they are truthful. Yes to an extent they are. But if you are putting your feelings on them it DOES scare them and they run away to think about it , in the moment he will agree with you and detest to however you feel he’s acting but it doesn’t actually mean he’s telling the truth

I told my Aqua friend how I feel and he said he felt the same way then totally pushed me away and didn’t speak to me for weeks after
@klh1203 - so you're saying he wasn't being honest when he said he liked me too? I dunno, since I'm the one who said we didn't need to be in a relationship and then he cut me off and said we should. He's not the type of guy who tells you what you wanna hear... TRUST ME. lol. And he kept texting me that week after we had that conversation so I thought he was being truthful. Maybe you have a point though. THank you

Did your aqua friend come back?
Posted by sultrykitty
OK, I know who you are and we've all tried to help you with this over the course of the year. And you claim to get it and commit to doing stuff and you flake out. I'm done and dusted.

Conclusion: you're not compatible. It isn't working, it didn't work, and it never WILL work. Make your decision and move on. Stay friends if you like because it seems like you get along well enough, but maintain your boundaries if you feel like it could he more with him. This is all unnecessary and unhelpful drama.



Hmm I've only posted here one or two other times so maybe you're mixing me up with someone else? Or those might be the posts you're referring to.

But thanks for the advice, I will probably move on because it's not working. The only thing that bothers me is I haven't really given much effort so if that's the reason it's not working then I'm just being an idiot. I think I'm going to suck up my pride and reach out to him and give it one last shot.

Thanks and I'm sorry if I am wishy-washy. I think my main issue is that I am insecure, and so is he.
Posted by FitNebula
@klh1203 - so you're saying he wasn't being honest when he said he liked me too? I dunno, since I'm the one who said we didn't need to be in a relationship and then he cut me off and said we should. He's not the type of guy who tells you what you wanna hear... TRUST ME. lol. And he kept texting me that week after we had that conversation so I thought he was being truthful. Maybe you have a point though. THank you

Did your aqua friend come back?
"He's not the type of guy that tells you what you wanna hear" very true. However, an Aqua man is the type of guy who can have a top level career & f 4 girls in a week & not miss a beat.....TRUST ME.
Posted by Ivyy
Posted by FitNebula
@klh1203 - so you're saying he wasn't being honest when he said he liked me too? I dunno, since I'm the one who said we didn't need to be in a relationship and then he cut me off and said we should. He's not the type of guy who tells you what you wanna hear... TRUST ME. lol. And he kept texting me that week after we had that conversation so I thought he was being truthful. Maybe you have a point though. THank you

Did your aqua friend come back?
"He's not the type of guy that tells you what you wanna hear" very true. However, an Aqua man is the type of guy who can have a top level career & f 4 girls in a week & not miss a beat.....TRUST ME.
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Haha I don't doubt that for a second
Posted by FitNebula
Posted by sultrykitty
OK, I know who you are and we've all tried to help you with this over the course of the year. And you claim to get it and commit to doing stuff and you flake out. I'm done and dusted.

Conclusion: you're not compatible. It isn't working, it didn't work, and it never WILL work. Make your decision and move on. Stay friends if you like because it seems like you get along well enough, but maintain your boundaries if you feel like it could he more with him. This is all unnecessary and unhelpful drama.



Hmm I've only posted here one or two other times so maybe you're mixing me up with someone else? Or those might be the posts you're referring to.

But thanks for the advice, I will probably move on because it's not working. The only thing that bothers me is I haven't really given much effort so if that's the reason it's not working then I'm just being an idiot. I think I'm going to suck up my pride and reach out to him and give it one last shot.

Thanks and I'm sorry if I am wishy-washy. I think my main issue is that I am insecure, and so is he.
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Were you not the same Libra who was best friends with an Aqua as a young teen, then tried to date in college but it was long distance, and one of you "cheated"? Then reconnected after graduation and have been doing the on again off again thing because you had trust issues? You were afraid to talk about a relationship or your feelings (but were happy to be FWB). Couldn't bring yourself to call him and basically just let him use you because you felt that there was something there (there probably is)?

Then, he says he is looking at a house near to you to buy and you have no idea "what it means" because he asked you to go with him to a showing and then he flaked. Then he bought the house and you weren't sure whether you should try to push a relationship thing, because you're still having sex but he seems kind if standoffish even though he hangs out with you and his friends, and his friends like you?

I remember.

If this is not you, then it must be a common Libra Aqua thing. But the specifics of your posts arw all along the same lines. There had to have been at least 6 posts (including this one) with the same details scattered in, if not all inclusive.




Posted by FitNebula
I am a libra. I made a post about this aqua before, but basically we have been friends with benefits I guess you could call it for almost 7 years now. Until a year ago, we didn't live close to each other. He moved to my area and only lives a few miles from me now and we see each other more often. But, I always treated him very casually because I am scared to be vulnerable. So he didn't really know I have feelings for him.

We have a mutual friend who told me that the aqua was starting to see another girl. This was the kick in the ass I needed.

So I finally told him my feelings. I invited him over and he immediately said yes and we didn't have sex or drink any alcohol. This conversation was 100% sober and genuine.

I just told him I like him and I wanted to try dating more seriously. I had figured he had feelings too, but I didn't know if they were enough to warrant wanting anything more than what we already had. Honestly, I expected him to sit there kind of blankly and figure out how to tell me that, while he likes me, he doesn't want a relationship.

To my shock, he said he really liked me too, and he thought I knew that. Needless to say, there has been a lot of miscommunication in our relationship because no, I didn't REALLY know that for a fact, lol.

I told him "I'm not saying we have to be in a relationship or anything but..." and he cut me off and said "why not?" and I said "huh, you'd want to try a relationship?" And he said "yeah, we get along really well and I think it would be fun."

So then we both kind of just talked about how we might as well give it a shot because it has been so long and we should finally try to actually be together. I told him I was sorry if he felt cornered and he said "that's the thing, I don't feel cornered at all"

I asked him more about the other girl.. here's what he told me. He said he's been seeing her for about 1.5 months. She didn't come to his NYE party even though she said she would, and then she had told him she got him a christmas gift but when he tried to meet up with her to exchange gifts before she went on vacation, she didn't want to meet up. (he said he got her a gift out of guilt and it was just a coffee mug). He also told me he asked her if she wanted to date more exclusively and she said no.

Then he said he likes me more than her and he thinks he only liked her because it was "new and exciting" but he said she's not very nice.

He also laughed at one point and said everyone was telling him this was going to blow up in his face but "you're actually the coolest person in this situation."

The only bad part was he told me she was coming home from her trip soon and he would talk to her. I don't really know why he couldn't just text her or something? I asked why he has to talk to her and he laughed and said "she might be crazy who knows"

After talking for awhile, he kissed me goodnight and left since we both had to wake up early. I was on cloud nine because that conversation went amazingly and we really just clicked and were on the same page. He kept his hand on my leg the entire time and it was just really nice overall. He didn't try to have sex or anything.

That was 2 weeks ago... in the days following our conversation, he texted me just random things about his day and stuff, sent me a kissing emoji, etc., which we don't usually do. He really isn't much of a texter though, and neither am I. So I thought 'oh good, he's actually serious and he didn't go home and overthink it and change his mind!'

So that continued for the week and then on the weekend I invited him to come to my friend's house as she was having a small party. He said he would.

For context, he has always been kind of flaky and unreliable if he knows it's no big deal. i.e. he will bail on a party, but not on a more intimate type of gathering such as dinner or whatever.

So, of course he never shows up. The next day he texts me with an implied-apology? He never apologizes when he bails on stuff so I thought this might be a good sign. He sent me a link to the music video of Britney Spears' "oops I did it again" -- which I thought was pretty funny. I sent back a link to Aretha Franklin's "Respect." He responded by asking me about the party and then I asked what he did, and he answered with his usual "smoked weed and played video games."

Sooo this is another issue. Whenever he bails on things, it's always because he decided to smoke weed and play video games all night. I have no problem with either, but when he smokes weed he kind of just becomes super detached and zombie-like and doesn't really care about anything.

When we had that conversation 2 weeks ago, he told me he is bored with work (engineer) and all he does is smoke weed/play video games. I asked if he might be depressed, he said he doesn't know but his doctor mentioned something about it.

Anyway, I don't know what to do now. I haven't heard much from him since he apologized about the party, and that was a week ago. He sent me a snapchat yesterday, which is rare, but I didn't respond. It's not strange for us not to talk for a week, but since I thought we were going to try a relationship... I guess I figured we would talk more or he would at least make plans? We said we would go on a date but he hasn't asked yet.

Then again, neither of us are big texters and I don't really enjoy texting just to talk but it would be nice here and there just to say something like "hey hope you're having a good day!" Of course I could also be the one to reach out but I guess I'm feeling off since he bailed on me. Although it's not surprising for weed/video games to win out over a party, I guess I thought since we are getting more serious he would at least make more of an effort or let me know.

I really really like him. We have a great time together, get along with each other's friends, and I want to see where this could go. But, on the other hand, I'm getting anxious about him not really talking to me much or making plans. Further, I don't want this pattern of bailing to smoke weed/play video games to continue. I mean, I'm totally fine with staying in and doing that stuff with him but he hasn't asked.

I just don't get it!! He seemed so serious about a relationship with me and now this? I know the other girl came back last week but that was before he said he would come to my friend's party and before he texted me sunday apologizing. I feel like if he decided to start dating her he would've told me? I don't know what to do now.

I am pretty paranoid that he is starting to date this other girl though. Maybe that's why he's not talking to me much or asking me out. I would hope he would let me know if he changed his mind or is dating her instead. But, he is very nonconfrontational and would probably want to avoid telling me but it isn't that hard to just text me and let me know..

What should I do?
Those 7 years, you were only with him? how comes you "discovered" your feelings only this last year? you were seeing someone else, who left you? what was the reason for this 7 year of casual thing? was he in a relationship in those 7 years?

you said: "I was on cloud nine because that conversation went amazingly" ... sorry, I dont see (from your opening post), how that conversation went amazingly... do you really think it went amazingly?

quote: "He also laughed at one point and said everyone was telling him this was going to blow up in his face but "you're actually the coolest person in this situation."

The only bad part was he told me she was coming home from her trip soon and he would talk to her."

I dont think its something you should label as only "the only bad part" - because I think its the whole reason he is not really interested in you (I mean now).... he wanted the other girl, who flaked on him, and everyone was telling him...etc etc, which means that he was talking about her to everybody - does it include your mutual friends? what his friends were saying to that new girl in regard to him sleeping with you? anybody defended you? did you ask about this?

it seems both of you are just bored, and if there is nobody better, then you are together.... now you decided, that you love him, but he is only used to you, he knows, where to find you, and you will be there.... I dont think he wants more



Posted by FitNebula
@klh1203 - so you're saying he wasn't being honest when he said he liked me too? I dunno, since I'm the one who said we didn't need to be in a relationship and then he cut me off and said we should. He's not the type of guy who tells you what you wanna hear... TRUST ME. lol. And he kept texting me that week after we had that conversation so I thought he was being truthful. Maybe you have a point though. THank you

Did your aqua friend come back?
I don’t mean that, I mean for instance when you said “I hope you don’t feel cornered” and he replied that he doesn’t that could be a lie... I’m speaking from my experience anyway. The only way you would know if he wants a relationship with you is if he makes that effort... I told my aqua I wanted to be with him and he said that it could happen but then dissapeared on me, weeks later he comes back and we’re talking like nothing happened and he mentioned how he’s not ready for a relationship..

I just hope that you don’t put your eggs all in one basket like I did because it’s impossible to wait for them and know how they actually feel it’s just too much games for my liking though.. but yes he did come back, he always will come back but he isn’t ready for a relationship so I don’t know what he wants because we don’t have sex lol, if you need any questions don’t be afraid to message me I’ll always tell you from my experience and you can compare your situation to that

Posted by Klh1203
Posted by FitNebula
@klh1203 - so you're saying he wasn't being honest when he said he liked me too? I dunno, since I'm the one who said we didn't need to be in a relationship and then he cut me off and said we should. He's not the type of guy who tells you what you wanna hear... TRUST ME. lol. And he kept texting me that week after we had that conversation so I thought he was being truthful. Maybe you have a point though. THank you

Did your aqua friend come back?
I don’t mean that, I mean for instance when you said “I hope you don’t feel cornered” and he replied that he doesn’t that could be a lie... I’m speaking from my experience anyway. The only way you would know if he wants a relationship with you is if he makes that effort... I told my aqua I wanted to be with him and he said that it could happen but then dissapeared on me, weeks later he comes back and we’re talking like nothing happened and he mentioned how he’s not ready for a relationship..

I just hope that you don’t put your eggs all in one basket like I did because it’s impossible to wait for them and know how they actually feel it’s just too much games for my liking though.. but yes he did come back, he always will come back but he isn’t ready for a relationship so I don’t know what he wants because we don’t have sex lol, if you need any questions don’t be afraid to message me I’ll always tell you from my experience and you can compare your situation to that

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Thank you! Personally I didn't feel like it was a lie because he expanded on it and said "that's the thing, I don't feel cornered at all and it feels really comfortable." But you never know!

Yeah, I agree I need to see if he makes an effort. He seemed to be making one but now he has disappeared. It sounds like your aqua is similar.

And agreed -- I'm not going to wait around for him. I'm actually hanging out with this other guy tonight just to see where things go.

Thanks for being so helpful! And you can also feel free to message me whenever too because it sounds like you might be in a confusing situation with an aquarius as well lol.
@FitNebula I think you’ll find most if not all of us are in confusing situations with Aquarians😂
Lol @klh1203 Yeah, it's hard out there. If only they weren't so enticing.... Funny enough the guy I'm going out with tonight is another aquarius!! There's just something about aquarius men I am always so attracted to -- I think it's their aloofness and lack of clingyness. And I love the "going with the flow" and the aquarius man I am going out with tonight verbatim told me he just "goes with the flow." Lol
Posted by FitNebula
Lol @klh1203 Yeah, it's hard out there. If only they weren't so enticing.... Funny enough the guy I'm going out with tonight is another aquarius!! There's just something about aquarius men I am always so attracted to -- I think it's their aloofness and lack of clingyness. And I love the "going with the flow" and the aquarius man I am going out with tonight verbatim told me he just "goes with the flow." Lol
This is my first encounter with an Aquarius and I am definitely loving it lol! Good luck tonight and yes just go with the flow, don’t read too much in to it what you see is what you get. Remember Aquarians are a social sign they like to be friends, they don’t really do relationships

Posted by Klh1203
Posted by FitNebula
Lol @klh1203 Yeah, it's hard out there. If only they weren't so enticing.... Funny enough the guy I'm going out with tonight is another aquarius!! There's just something about aquarius men I am always so attracted to -- I think it's their aloofness and lack of clingyness. And I love the "going with the flow" and the aquarius man I am going out with tonight verbatim told me he just "goes with the flow." Lol
This is my first encounter with an Aquarius and I am definitely loving it lol! Good luck tonight and yes just go with the flow, don’t read too much in to it what you see is what you get. Remember Aquarians are a social sign they like to be friends, they don’t really do relationships

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Yeah it is such a rollercoaster -- sometimes amazing other times really bad. It's kind of like a drug...

THanks it should be fun! We've already made out so I think he likes me? But we'll see haha. We've only met once before. I'm totally just having fun and seeing what happens.

Let me know if you need any advice as well smile

Posted by Leo188881
Maybe what you expect a relationship to look like is different to what he thinks one is. To him, the FWB situation was no different to how he is in a relationship. Minus being intimate with other people, and that's the only difference for him. It's possible he thinks you are in a relationship together and doesn't even realise you don't see it that way.

My Aqua isn't like a normal boyfriend and i don't think he is capable of doing whatever boyfriends are meant to do... i had a Libra commitment phobe on and off for 3yrs and that relationship was movies and dinners and going out together and with friends and seeing each other all the time. The perfect boyfriend but with no future and no commitment. The Aqua one is the opposite. He doesn't want to go out and do stuff so i felt like he didn't make effort for me and that was getting to me for a while. He wants to lay on the couch and watch Netflix and cuddle and talk and have sex. That time of the month, he comes over with chocolate and junk food so i realised he just makes a different type of effort. I usually only get 1 night a week with him because he works so much, and the rest of the days are phone conversations. But he talks about serious things the Libra never wanted. For example last night he was talking about weddings.. cost per head of guests and flowers and dresses, suits and cars etc. He was additing it all up. So he thinks of all the future stuff in practical terms rather than in a romantic way. That's just how he is.

It's an unusual relationship and at times it's frustrating and i get pissed off and confused but i know it's real, i feel his love and we're playing for keeps.

Aquas aren't for everyone though and I don't think most women can understand the depths of them or would have the emotional strength to be with them. It takes a while to get them to open up and it's not a fast and reckless love. Especially if they've been hurt in the past.



That is an interesting perspective and sometimes I wonder because he seems not have much of a sense of time. For instance when we had that talk I was saying how we never go out and do much anymore and he said "yeah we do" and started naming things we did like 2 months ago as if it was last week! There are other examples but basically yeah I can see how my "relationship" is similar to yours in those ways. I would prefer it but still would like to talk to him more than once a week lol. But if I just told him that then he would probably realize and make an effort!

*Sigh* it is frustrating I agree, but worth it in those moments.

Thanks for your insight smile

@Leo188881 thanks that's a good idea. I don't know though because at this point last I heard from him was 4 days ago via snapchat so idk if that counts and before that it had been a week. I feel like we aren't really talking soooo if I texted good morning he might be like wtf! haha. but i might try it
Ahh I saw him last night we had a great time!